Chapter 6: Speak Human

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Chapter 6: Speak Human

Question: What does it take for a tall, handsome, rich, dazzling, cool, and domineering man’s image to instantly shatter?

Lin You the parrot answered: Give a beautiful and delicate Congo Grey Parrot the name “Big King Kong.”

Why don’t you just call this lord an orangutan?! A Congo Grey Parrot is only so big, yet you call him “Big King Kong”? If you have a son in the future, are you planning to name him Mu Tou? You know, so ‘Mu Tou’ sounds like mutou—’blockhead’?

Of course, the above was Lin You’s innermost complaint. In his current state, it obviously wasn’t appropriate to tell Mu Yanxiao, “You were actually pretty high-class in my eyes, but that shitty name just made your whole image crash and burn.” He was just a bird. That was the tragic reality.

“I don’t like this name. I’m not big at all!”

Lin You’s tone was particularly righteous.

Mu Yanxiao’s expression stiffened when he heard this. In fact, he had already been teased countless times by his grandfather and that troublesome second-generation younger brother for his inability to come up with names. Just look at the names Mu One to Mu Five. That alone was enough to explain that he was really incompetent at giving names.

But hearing someone outside his family express dissatisfaction with his naming ability made Mu Yanxiao feel gloomy, yet at the same time, there was an inexplicable sense of delight. Ahem. It was lonely at the top. His subordinates were always too obedient and not fun at all. This Boss also didn’t realize that his perpetually expressionless face exuded the momentum of “provoke me and I’ll cut off your entire family.” Who would dare to give him some fun?

Therefore, Boss Mu wasn’t angry. He rubbed Lin You’s wings and said in a rather gentle voice, “Then what do you want to be called?”

Lin You almost called out the words “Lin You” without thinking, but when the words reached his mouth, he abruptly stopped. No matter how stupid or abnormal some people were, they would still hesitate inwardly if they suddenly heard a parrot blurting out someone’s name. Then what if this Mr. Perfect, who looked like a rich and handsome man but was actually more likely to be a member of the underworld, heard him call out that name?

He reckoned Mu Yanxiao would directly ask his Mu-numbered subordinates to investigate his identity. Although he felt that Yanxiao wouldn’t be able to find anything about his strange family of Celestial Masters, what if he did? A parrot just happened to say the name of the person he “might have” killed?

Once those two originally unconnected points were connected, this shrewd person would definitely think of something Lin You didn’t want him to think.

Therefore, after Lin You got stuck for a while, he sluggishly repeated a word, “Lin… Lin!”

Since he couldn’t say his full name, then he’d just say his surname. Being called Lin was also pretty good. It was just that Lin You overestimated the comprehension of his blind master.

After Mu Yanxiao heard what Lin You said, he thought for a bit and nodded. “Linlin? This name is passable. Actually, if Linlin is fine, then being called Yanyan is also possible.”

Lin You especially wanted to give his person a sharp peck with his beak. He clearly said Lin… Lin! There was such a long pause in the middle! How did you hear Linlin? Plus, that name, Linlin, reminded him of his annoying childhood! But by this point, resistance was already futile. Mu Yanxiao’s efficiency was too high, and he had already started using this name.

“Linlin, what are the dishes on the small table in front of me? Where are the chopsticks?”

Lin You listened to this incomparably intimate (ball-aching) way of calling him and rolled his eyes hard. Then he sighed as he resigned himself to this fate and started to announce the dishes. “Oh—there’s a big plate. It has a huge piece of meat that is full of meaty color! Next to it is curly noodles! And a bird egg! Next to the big plate is a bowl of white, thick water. There’s also a plate of diced fruit and two yellow, dry lumps of flour!! It looks very abundant!”

Mu Yanxiao, who felt extremely pained hearing this, “…”

“Speak ‘human’.”

“Aiya~ How can you expect a bird to speak ‘human’! Although this lord really can—”

Mu Yanxiao, “…Otherwise, I’ll deduct your pay.”

Lin You, “!”

With a flap, his slack body, which had been lying down, straightened up. “Reporting to Your Majesty, there’s a medium-rare steak with pasta, a half-fried sunny-side-up egg, potato cream soup, fruit salad, and two slices of bread. T=T”

The head can be severed and blood can flow, but the salary cannot be lost!!

“…” Mu Yanxiao was startled by this accurate and entirely different report. Sure enough, this parrot spirit had been playing with him just now. He hadn’t been mistaken.

Mu Yanxiao gently nodded, then grabbed Lin You’s entire bird body with lightning speed. He lifted the bird’s head with his index finger and warned grimly, “Although I think that a parrot spirit is pretty good, a parrot spirit that dares to provoke his owner can easily become a bowl of tonic soup. Do you understand?”

Lin You the parrot spirit, “…” QAQ, so scary, mama. I won’t believe that pets are pampered anymore!

But Lin You’s cheap mouth wouldn’t stop seeking death. “Then is teasing okay?”

Mu Yanxiao, “…” This parrot spirit really couldn’t hold anything back.

“If you have the ability to tease me.”

Lin You listened to these words, which carried faint contempt for his abilities, and disdainfully turned his bird head to snort twice. You’re a blind man! You still need this lord to serve as your personal advisor. This lord can find opportunities to tease you even with his eyes closed!! Heh, just you wait. The results will be out once it’s bath time!!

“Alright, let’s leave that aside. Now that I know what the food is, the next step is to eat. Knife and fork…where are they?”

Lin You also felt that he couldn’t waste any more time. It was already almost twelve after all their horsing around.

“First, feel for the small dining table, then feel upward, just like when you touch a lady’s thigh. Slowly feel around the side, and you’ll find the knife and fork!”

Mu Yanxiao, “…You win. Next time, feel free to use human speech to talk to me and to talk with others however you like.” Mu Yanxiao hadn’t even eaten yet, and he could already feel a stomachache coming on. Just one sentence from Linlin had given him a trauma toward women’s thighs. Deep thigh = knife and fork and so on. It was too unbearable!

In his heart, Lin You howled with laughter, fanned his wings with incomparable cockiness, then squawked and laughed twice.

“Ahem, grab onto my wings so you won’t accidentally get burned or injured. I’ll pull your hand next to the knife and fork.”

Young Master Lin You finally became more serious. In his heart, Mu Yanxiao finally relaxed. A pet that turned into a spirit truly mustn’t be raised in the future! However, while Mu Yanxiao felt a little peeved at Lin You at first, he overturned his opinion in the next few minutes.

Lin You very cautiously pulled Mu Yanxiao’s left hand and placed it on the fork. Then he gently pecked twice to signal Mu Yanxiao to loosen his grip. He then jumped next to Mu Yanxiao’s right hand and placed his hand on the nearby knife.

When Mu Yanxiao was ready, Lin You cocked his head and thought for a bit, then spoke. “Your food target is between your left and right hand, around ten centimeters away from your right hand. Use the knife to stab and determine the location, then you can definitely eat it based on your IQ!”

Mu Yanxiao almost dissolved into laughter when he heard the last part, but he was full of satisfaction with the accurate and considerate statement of his family’s pet. His lips quirked up as he followed Lin You’s instructions and, as instructed, used his knife to stab the plate that was ten centimeters away and accurately found the steak.

As long as he could determine the location, Mu Yanxiao’s ability to handle things was truly astonishing.

Lin You stood at his side and watched with surprise as this person simply and neatly carved the steak, then put each bite into his mouth. He even used a fork to grab a forkful of pasta without dropping it on the hospital bed. He instantly felt like this person was elegant again. Moreover, Lin You noticed that both of Mu Yanxiao’s hands were extremely steady, without the slightest bit of unnecessary movement.

It wasn’t until this moment that Lin You felt that the man in front of him was really powerful. It wasn’t about his financial resources or status, but about this kind of steady bearing itself. This man’s charm and confidence were clear at all times. Such a person should stand at the top, just like his eccentric genius Little Uncle, whom he had only seen once.

Tsk, it just occurred to him that the most terrifying and respectable existence in his life had not changed, even as a parrot. Lin You wilted, wondering if his family knew about his current situation.

Since his Little Uncle could calculate that he would die at twenty-five, shouldn’t he at the very least be able to calculate that his soul hadn’t left for the Underworld yet?

“Linlin?”

While Lin You gloomily sighed about his current situation, Mu Yanxiao spoke up. His voice was as deep and pleasant as before, but it carried some hesitation this time.

“What’s wrong?”

Lin You flapped his wings in response before speaking. “I miss my home.” He did not bother thinking about how Mu Yanxiao had sensed his gloomy state. When people were sad, they always wanted someone to lend them an ear.

“I miss my bird dad, bird mom, grandfather, and great-grandfather, and my Little Uncle—even though he’s really scary. I wonder if they are missing me.”

“…” Mu Yanxiao paused his movements, then gently put down his utensils. After a period of silence, he finally reached out and patted Lin You’s head. He asked, “Do you want to go back?”

“I can’t go back for the time being,” Lin You answered sadly. Putting the fifty-meter tear-jerking distance limit from Mu Yanxiao aside, even if he found his family, they would probably need some time to think of a way to help him.

Mu Yanxiao did not understand the true meaning behind Lin You’s words. He pursed his lips and suddenly closed his eyes. “I can have Mu One drive you back.”

Lin You’s body tilted to the side, and he asked in amazement, “What’d you say?”

Mu Yanxiao looked rather unhappy. “If you want to go, go, before I plan to employ you long-term.”

Lin You was dumbfounded for a moment, then suddenly connected the dots of what Mu Yanxiao must have been thinking and immediately squawked with laughter. Finally, he stopped and softly spoke. “You misunderstood. I am not staying because you want to raise me. It’s because I can’t find my way home. But still, thank you for being willing to let me go.”

Mu Yanxiao breathed a sigh of relief when he heard those words. Let’s not talk about his own feelings about the parrot right now. Based on his current state, it really wasn’t good to let him go. But he couldn’t find a way back? Mu Yanxiao raised his eyebrow. “You really are a parrot spirit, aren’t you? So you can’t find your original gathering place anymore?”

Lin You almost choked himself trying to hold back a sigh of relief. He struggled for a while, knowing that he absolutely couldn’t expose himself, and could only nod miserably. “Well, it can also be said like this… Before I find that path (great-grandfather’s plans), I can’t return.”

Mu Yanxiao thought for a bit. “How about this. Before you find a way back, you must stay by my side, and I’ll also think of an idea to help you.”

Mu Yanxiao’s thoughts happened to coincide with Lin You’s. Although Lin You could directly let Mu Yanxiao take him to fly back and look for his great-grandfather, this would definitely make Mu Yanxiao suspicious. In Mu Yanxiao’s mind at the moment, he was just a parrot spirit. If he suddenly transformed into a human, this person would most likely fly into a rage. He didn’t know what sensational tragedy would occur, but it wouldn’t be good when that time came.

It would be better to wait, take care of Mu Yanxiao, gain this person’s trust, and then think of a way to get him to Dad’s office. When the time came, the information he had left behind could be used by his family to think of a way to rescue him. This way would be safer and more reliable.

As a result, Lin You put aside his depression for the moment and flapped his wings. “Okay, Your Majesty! Understood, Your Majesty! Your Majesty needs to treat me well—I am your parrot from now on!”

Toward Lin You, who had decided to act mental again, Mu Yanxiao retorted, “Speak ‘human’!”

“Ahem, your plate has some leftover beef and noodles. If you don’t mind, can I eat some? I’m hungry.”

And right as Mu Yanxiao was about to answer after a moment of exasperation, a loud sound came from outside their door. It sounded like someone kicking the door?

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