Chapter 68: Goofy and Dorky

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Chapter 68: Goofy and Dorky

Basically, everyone has a bit of an “ Ah Q ” mentality. Humans’ ability to comfort themselves is truly second to none among all animals.

So, even though his current body was that of a husky puppy, Lin You still had a very strong ability to comfort himself because his soul was undeniably human. After being hugged and petted by his master for a while, Young Master Lin calmly, even somewhat satisfactorily, accepted his current body.

As his master, Mu Yanxiao was also in a pretty good mood after acquiring a lively husky. After all, compared with the turtle he had before, this husky was far more convenient.

Well, as for strength… Young Master Mu thought seriously about it for a moment before waving his hand and having Mu Five ‘invite’ Young Master Wang over again.

Wang Xiao looked at the man sitting on the hospital bed and the dog lying in his arms, staring at him with an adorably stupid expression. He twitched the corner of his mouth and rolled his eyes, making no attempt whatsoever to spare Mu Yanxiao’s feelings.

“Eldest Mu! Can you settle down a little?! Look at yourself right now! If you’re blind, then just be a normal blind person! Stop doing things that people who can see do when you can’t even see!”

“Don’t think I don’t know you were behind what happened to the Zheng and Chen families a few days ago. Although I thought what you did was incredibly satisfying, and I was more than happy to see it, that doesn’t mean I’m willing to be kidnapped by you again and again! Damn it, isn’t all this just for a dog?! This thing can’t even talk! Just look at how stupid he is!!”

As Wang Xiao spoke, his expression became conflicted again. “I’m telling you, Eldest Mu, although I’m not particularly compassionate toward animals, I really don’t think your way of keeping pets is quite right. If I’m not mistaken, including that dead turtle beside you, this silly husky should be your fourth? No, no, your fifth pet?! Eldest Mu, although this might be a little harsh, I have to seriously advise you: give it up! You really aren’t suited for this!”

Mu Yanxiao’s face instantly darkened.

But Young Master Wang didn’t care in the slightest whether he had offended Mu Yanxiao. He looked at Lin You, the husky with a particularly sympathetic gaze and sighed before concluding, “Before this, I only knew that some men were cursed to bring misfortune to their wives. Those poor souls were destined to marry one woman after another only to have them die. But today, I’ve actually encountered someone who brings misfortune to his pets! You really do kill everything you raise. For the sake of human lives, people like that usually remain unmarried for life. Although a pet’s life may not be worth much, it’s still a life. You should release this guy! I’ll pay for it. How much did you buy him for? I can cover anything under 200,000!”

Instead of getting the anger he expected from Young Master Mu, Young Master Wang was met with a roar from the silly, adorable dog.

“Woof woof woof woof woof woof!!”

“What the hell do you mean? Are you cursing Young Master Lin to die?! I finally got a strong body, and you’re cursing me to death! What are you plotting?! And another thing! I sell my talents, not my body!! You think a measly 200,000 can buy me? Are you always this stupid, or does your brother just not know about it?!”

The above was the voice of a mafia boss.

Wang Xiao, “…”

Fuck me! After that crazy parrot last time, he had actually encountered another husky that was simultaneously acting stupid, being goofy, and completely out of his mind! Even if he could talk, he still couldn’t hide that overwhelming air of stupidity!

“Idiot, don’t think you can get away with everything just because you’re cute.” Blackness seemed to emanate from Wang Xiao. “Don’t even mention that your little heart needs me to save it. Even if you were perfectly healthy, what I just said was already an act of extraordinary kindness on my part. The fact that I didn’t make you thank me with tears in your eyes and worship me is only because I happened to be in a good mood. And you still dare to bark at me? Believe me, I can pickle you with one stab!”

Lin You, the Zhongshan Wolf , inexplicably felt a pain in his balls, “…”

“How I raise my pets is my business. You don’t need to worry about it. I had you brought here to check Linlin’s heart. You don’t need to concern yourself with anything else. Besides, how can a dog have heart disease?” Mu Yanxiao looked serious and puzzled. In his mind, weren’t dogs supposed to only catch colds and have no other illnesses?

Veterinarian Wang responded to this ignorance with a derisive chuckle.

“Heart disease is nothing. Kidney failure, kidney stones, liver cancer, stomach problems… Humans can get all kinds of illnesses, and dogs can get them too. In fact, treating them is even more troublesome than treating humans. Otherwise, why do you think there are so many stray dogs on the streets? Quite a few of them were abandoned by their owners after developing terminal illnesses.” Wang Xiao sneered. “So humans really can’t be lumped in with animals. They’re beasts worse than beasts themselves!”

Mu Yanxiao, “…”

When dealing with an antisocial, misanthropic, split-personality, tsundere old chuunibyou, it was probably best not to comment. Although he really wanted to point out that those last words had already included Wang Xiao himself.

“Treat him quickly.”

Wang Xiao unhappily snorted before finally stepping forward. With one hand, he grabbed Lin You by the scruff of his neck, while the other repeatedly felt over his white belly.

Lin You absolutely could not accept being handled like that. He angrily whimpered and struggled with all his might. “Indecent assault! This is indecent assault!! You’re touching my belly! I’m completely naked!! How can you act indecently toward a dog?! You’re absolutely shameless and completely devoid of morals!!”

“Yamete! Blind master, come save me! If you don’t stop him, he’s going to touch my little jewels!!”

That sentence of dog-speak was enough to deafen the ears of everyone present. Mu Five nearly choked and coughed so violently that it sounded like the end of the world, while Mu Yanxiao, his face dark, reached out, caught Lin You by the tail, and yanked him into his arms.

“…Ahem. You’ve finished examining him?”

Even though Mu Yanxiao couldn’t see the veterinarian’s expression, he could tell from the atmosphere around him that Wang Xiao was absolutely in the middle of a raging storm.

Wang Xiao let out a loud, icy snort. “Examine my ass! With this dog’s current mental state, what does a little heart matter? A scourge like this can live for a thousand years! He doesn’t need treatment at all!!”

Lin You curled up in his blind master’s arms, feeling deeply wronged. He had only been telling the truth just now! He wasn’t actually a dog! Fine, his body was a real dog, but his soul was human! What kind of image was it for him to be naked and have another man touch him all over?! He still had to get married—bah, he meant, take a wife! How could he possibly lose his innocence?!

Mu Yanxiao patted the dog’s head again.

“Then tell me what precautions I need to take. There must be something I need to pay attention to. This time, no matter what, I won’t let anything happen to him again. Even if I have to hold him twenty-four hours a day.”

Wang Xiao’s response was an angry snort.

Young Master Mu sighed. “Have you passed by Mu’s Shopping Mall these past few days? Did you see Yanming?”

A sharp glint flashed through Wang Xiao’s eyes. “What? You want to brag about your troublesome little brother who has reformed his ways?”

Mu Yanxiao looked unconcerned. “It’s only been this long, and you can already say he’s reformed? He still has a long time to prove himself. But no matter what, at least he isn’t troublesome right now. Don’t you want your own brother to be a little better too?”

Young Master Wang immediately thought of his own troublesome brother. He twitched the corner of his mouth and hesitated before saying, “Even after having his leg broken once, my brother still hasn’t improved much. Are you sure you can help me this time?”

Young Master Mu smiled, a dark aura surrounding him. “No matter how troublesome your brother is, he’s still more well-behaved than mine.”

Wang Xiao thought about it carefully and decided that this was actually true. So, after looking at the silly husky with his head buried in Mu Yanxiao’s arms, leaving only two furry hind legs and a tail sticking out, he rolled his eyes and nodded in agreement to the exchange.

“Just make sure he doesn’t get too emotional. Give him less oily food, less salty food, and less sweet food. Have him exercise more and act less stupid. That’s all.”

Lin You, the husky who was not stupid but merely adorable, felt that he had just been subjected to verbal retaliation.

Mu Yanxiao, “…”

For some reason, he felt as though his intelligence had been insulted as well. Hehe. Young Master Mu decided that he would definitely ‘properly’ discipline Wang Xiao’s younger brother for him.

After saying that, Young Master Wang waved his hand and left, deciding that what he couldn’t see wouldn’t bother him. Less than half an hour after he left, Lin You, the adorable-but-not-stupid husky, deeply experienced just how miserable life could be for an animal after offending a veterinarian.

Dinner time.

Lin You glared with his glassy eyes, stretched out one chubby little paw, and pointed at the plate of dog food in front of him. His voice trembled with agitation.

“What the hell~~ Can someone explain to me what this dog food in front of me is supposed to be?!”

Mu Five had just delivered dinner and hadn’t left yet. He was practically itching to take this suddenly appearing husky puppy home and raise him himself. After all, he was highly likely to be Linlin, and he perfectly matched his criteria for a pet.

Now, seeing Lin You tilt his head and stare at him with two harmless-looking blue, glassy eyes and bean-shaped eyebrows, his heart practically melted. The tough guy instantly softened.

“This is dog food specially air-freighted from Grandpa Albert’s pet food factory! It’s all-natural and pollution-free, tastes great, and is easy to chew. It’s absolutely the best choice for a premium puppy! What do you think?! You especially like it, right?!”

Lin You the husky, staring with his beady eyes and bean-shaped eyebrows: “Hehe.”

Like it, my ass! How many times do I have to say that I’m a human, not a dog?! Why should I eat dog food?! Even if it’s the highest-grade dog food, so what? At the end of the day, it’s still dog food!!

So Lin You disdainfully pushed the dog food away with his two front paws, then sat upright in his blind master’s arms and declared with utmost seriousness, “I want steak. Braised pork ribs are fine too. At the very least, I want spicy chicken stew. Whoever makes me eat dog food, I’ll use my adorable little tiger teeth to show him that Young Master Lin needs to be properly fed!”

Mu Five’s heart shattered into a million pieces.

Young Master Mu felt a slight ache in his teeth. “Wang Xiao just said that you can’t eat anything too oily, too salty, or too sweet. For the sake of this body, dog food is still the best.”

Husky Lin instantly bristled with rage. “What did you say?! Say that again?! I worked my ass off staying by your side, and I almost lost my soul because of you, and now you’re making me eat dog food?! Do you have no conscience?! I don’t care! I want steak! I want braised pork ribs!! I want spicy chicken stew!! And braised pork belly, boiled shrimp, steamed sea bass, and a Manchu-Han Imperial Feast!! If you won’t let me eat them, I’m running away from home!!”

Mu Yanxiao twitched the corner of his mouth. His pet was acting crazy again. He suddenly began to miss that particularly well-behaved green turtle.

“…Have Mu Four make a light meat dish and mix it with rice, carrots, and corn kernels. Bring it over.”

When facing his pet, Young Master Mu’s domineering, arrogant, cool, and imposing attitude disappeared without a trace. He was always the first one to compromise. But then again, he was more than happy to do so.

After Mu Five brought over the food that Mu Four had specially prepared using the finest ingredients he had found online and the skills of a master chef, perfectly suited to Lin You’s tastes and standards, Mu Yanxiao sat there with his eyes closed. Despite the slight throbbing pain in his forehead, he still had enough attention left to think about how unusual his pet was—

With today’s hint about the evil Daoist priest, along with that woman who had come here… a female spirit? The inconsistency made Mu Yanxiao suddenly realize that there were actually many small details he had overlooked.

Perhaps it was because the original theory that Linlin was a parrot spirit was simply too fantastical to investigate too deeply. But now that he thought about it carefully, there were far too many flaws in that theory.

Even if he really were a parrot spirit, if he had lived deep in the mountains and forests for a long time, there was no way he could have immediately spoken with the tone and mannerisms of an ordinary person after entering human society. Even if he were a parrot spirit, having only just arrived in human society, he shouldn’t have known how to use computers, credit cards, or high-end exercise equipment, nor should he have known how to avoid breaking a single human rule.

As Mu Yanxiao thought about this, the pain in his head gradually subsided. In the end, he thought of the man who had once come to deliver the lynx, supposedly from a family of animal breeders in the Qinling Mountains. Just from his voice, he sounded like a bandit.

According to Mu One, that man was an extremely dangerous existence. Although he spent most of his time grinning foolishly, the occasional looks he gave Mu Yanxiao and the others carried an utter indifference born from overwhelming strength. That was someone capable of taking on a hundred people by himself.

To think that such a person was merely a breeder? Mu Yanxiao stroked the smooth fur beneath his hand and raised an eyebrow. Mu Yanxiao stroked the smooth fur beneath his hand and raised an eyebrow. When that man had left, he seemed to have packed up three tables’ worth of a Manchu-Han Imperial Feast. His tastes really were remarkably similar to his pet’s.

He chuckled softly twice. Mu Yanxiao felt that it was time for him to properly investigate the Qinling Mountains.

Perhaps there would be a pleasant surprise waiting for him?

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