Chapter 76: Cousins Reunited

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Chapter 76: Cousins Reunited

Completely unbeknownst to Young Master Lin You, all his troublesome relatives back at the ancestral residence had already prepared to form a group and come watch the show. Before his accident, anyone who dared do such a thing would unquestionably have been asking for a beating. But as the old saying went, the wheel of fortune was always turning, and this time, it seemed to have finally turned in favor of Lin You’s troublesome relatives.

At the villa in Clear Pond Hot Spring Resort, Young Master Lin You, who was soaking in the hot spring, suddenly sneezed hard enough to startle Young Master Mu. Tilting his head up to feel the fine misting rain drifting through the mountains, Mu Yanxiao asked with some concern, “Linlin, are you catching a cold? Since it’s raining, how about we stop soaking and go back for some braised pork ribs?”

Young Master Lin immediately barked twice in obvious displeasure. Although he hadn’t brought the language translator with him into the hot spring, Young Master Mu still understood his pet’s emphatic absolutely not . The excessively doting young master could only give up, privately deciding that the moment they went back inside, he would dry his husky’s fur as quickly as possible.

For the next half hour, Husky Lin dog-paddled his way around the enormous hot spring. Just as he decided he’d soaked long enough and was ready to go back for dinner, a burst of hurried footsteps approached, seemingly accompanied by an ominous gust of wind.

Young Master Lin You: “…?” Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?

“Hey! You two guests! This hot spring has already been privately reserved! We’re not open to the public today! You can’t just force your way in!”

The voice of the resort manager came from a dozen or so meters away, filled with helplessness and anxiety as he dealt with two guests who clearly couldn’t care less about anyone else’s wishes.

“Geez, why are you so annoying? I’m just going in for a soak! That pool is huge—it could fit hundreds of people! What’s the problem with letting us in? Who still cares about private reservations these days? That’s feudalism, and feudalism is unacceptable, understand?! Fine, fine, here, take a piece of gold and stop nagging! Worst case, I’ll just go in, take one look, and come right back out! Either way, I’m going in today. Don’t refuse the gold and make me beat you flat before I enter!”

The manager was left thoroughly exasperated by this speech, while the newcomer’s booming voice carried far enough for Mu Yanxiao’s excellent hearing to catch part of it. Young Master Mu’s expression immediately darkened. Before he could decide what to do, however, a low whine sounded beside him. Mu Yanxiao didn’t need to think twice to know it was Linlin, and judging by the sound, his pet seemed to be wary of something. He frowned, then suddenly felt the water ripple around him as a furry, dripping-wet husky launched himself into his arms and pawed at him urgently.

“Mu Five,” Young Master Mu said. “Give me a large towel for Linlin. We’re going back.” He had no intention of confronting the newcomers head-on. He was here to rest and recuperate, not fight strangers over a hot spring. He could finish soaking, go back for dinner, then sit on the balcony with Linlin in his arms and enjoy the cool evening air.

Now that sounded like proper recuperation.

So by the time the two men barged in, Young Master Mu was already carrying a round bundle wrapped in a towel and heading toward the villa under Mu Five’s guidance. The three parties passed one another face-to-face. The two tall men glanced at Mu Yanxiao, failed to spot the person they were looking for, and hurried onward. Neither of them had the slightest idea that the “younger cousin and cousin-in-law” they were searching for had just drifted right past them without so much as disturbing a cloud.

By the time Young Master Mu had carried Lin You back to the villa and started eating, the two men had circled the hot spring several times and searched the entire place without finding their target. They stood there in disbelief, stared at each other, and promptly began blaming one another.

“Second! Didn’t you say your compass was the most accurate? It clearly pointed to this place, so why can’t we find Little Fourth?!”

“Little Third! Haven’t I told you not to call me Second?! Eldest Sister is going to marry out of the family eventually, so that makes me the eldest and you the second! There’s no way my compass is wrong. Little Fourth was definitely here just now!! He probably heard our voices, got embarrassed, and ran away! Hehehehe. I overheard Mom and Dad talking, and apparently Little Fourth is in pretty bad shape right now—the kind where he can’t even talk properly! So he definitely ran!”

“Lin Tianliang!! I’ve told you not to call me Little Third ! Do you have to make me sound like somebody’s mistress every single time?! You’re the mistress! Your whole family’s a bunch of mistresses!! And stop being an idiot. Didn’t you hear what the manager said before we came in?! The entire hot spring was privately reserved— privately reserved!! Use your brain and think! Who have we seen since we got here? Aside from that man who walked out carrying some bundle of who-knows-what, there hasn’t been another person here! So your divination must be wrong!!” The young man saddled with the unfortunate nickname “Little Third” looked thoroughly annoyed. Staring at the older brother whose face was identical to his own, he found that face more irritating the longer he looked at it.

Lin Tianliang’s swordlike brows shot upward. “Lin Tiantong! An eldest brother is like a father! Even if we came out one right after the other, I was still born several minutes before you! Keep talking back and I’ll beat you to death! And even Father approves of my divination skills! Sure, I still have things to learn, but if all I’m doing is calculating someone’s location, there’s absolutely no way I’d get it wrong!”

Lin Tiantong snorted twice and turned away. “Then explain why we’ve been searching for so long without seeing even Little Fourth’s shadow. And his current condition definitely has something to do with his double tribulation. Fine, let’s say Fourth really was here and we couldn’t find him because he hid from us. Then where’s our cousin-in-law? Aside from that man who just passed us, there isn’t so much as the shadow of a woman around here!! How do you explain that?!”

Lin Tianliang answered without hesitation. “What’s so hard to understand?! Didn’t Father already say Second Uncle was fated to have no descendants? And that man just now wasn’t bad-looking at all! Swordlike brows, bright eyes, a full and auspicious forehead. Aside from the wisp of black qi between his brows showing that he’ll face a tribulation soon, once he gets through it, he’s destined for lifelong wealth and prosperity. See? I only glanced at him and didn’t even examine his fate carefully, and it’s already that good. Isn’t he a perfect match for our family’s unwanted Little Fourth?”

Lin Tiantong was thoroughly choked by his second brother’s words. His finger trembled as he pointed at Lin Tianliang, and after a long moment, he weakly squeezed out, “If Second Uncle heard you say that, he’d blast you to death with heavenly lightning.”

Apparently remembering the terrifying combat strength of a certain bandit-like brute, Lin Tianliang shuddered too, but stubbornly continued, “What I said could very well happen, so don’t dismiss it. But instead of arguing about that, shouldn’t we find somewhere to get out of the rain? We sneaked out of the ancestral residence specifically to find Fourth, and now we’ve ended up with nothing. How are we supposed to explain this to everyone waiting back home to watch Fourth make a fool of himself? It’ll completely ruin our prestige!”

Lin Tiantong frowned as well. “Hmm… why don’t we just tell them whatever we want? Fourth isn’t here anyway, so he can’t hear us, right~? Hehe~”

“Hehehehe~”

“Hehe, my ass.” Just as Lin Tianliang and Lin Tiantong were snickering wickedly together, a voice suddenly sounded right beside their ears. What made every hair on their bodies stand on end was that the voice sounded far too much like that capricious bastard who did whatever he pleased with almost ruthless disregard for everyone else.

Lin Tiantong jumped nearly straight into the air. “Who?! Who’s there?! Is that you, Lin Tianyou, you little bastard?! Weren’t you unable to talk? Don’t tell me you’ve already overcome your tribulation?!”

Lin You stared at his two idiotic twin cousins, who kept looking left and right without once thinking to look down, and barely suppressed the urge to bite them. Furrowing his bean-shaped eyebrows, he said in disgust, “You two are hopelessly stupid! Can’t you try looking down?!”

Lin Tiantong and Lin Tianliang lowered their heads at the same time. Upon seeing the half-grown husky standing there in a pet raincoat, both fell into a long, profound silence.

Lin Tiantong pinched Lin Tianliang as hard as he could. Only after the latter yelped in pain did he stare at Lin You in disbelief. “Holy crap! Fourth, you really turned into a dog?! This is… this is just… ahahaha… AHAHAHAHA!! This is cause for universal celebration!! Heaven knows how long we’ve dreamed of the day when the heavens would finally teach you a lesson! And today I finally get to see something this satisfying with my own eyes! The heavens truly have opened their eyes!”

Lin Tiantong slapped his thigh as he laughed at Young Master Lin, and Lin Tianliang was just about to join in when the raincoat-clad husky tilted his head and said with utter contempt, “You actually have the nerve to laugh at me? I turned into a dog and I still have a raincoat, while you’re a human standing here getting soaked. You’re living worse than a dog, so what the hell are you laughing at?”

Lin Tiantong’s laughter abruptly jammed in his throat, nearly choking him.

Seeing this, Lin Tianliang immediately understood that even though Fourth had turned into a dog, he was still a viciously sharp-tongued dog with formidable combat power. Best not to provoke him casually. So he crouched down and reached toward the extremely adorable husky, only for Young Master Lin to dodge his hand in disgust.

Unbothered, Lin Tianliang asked, “Fourth, why did you suddenly come back? I heard Father say you weren’t supposed to return until you’d finished overcoming your tribulation. More importantly, I really want to know who the other person in your double tribulation is. It wasn’t that man who just passed us, was it? If you bring home a male wife, Second Uncle is definitely going to beat you to death.”

Lin You responded by biting Lin Tianliang’s finger without the slightest hesitation. Amid the man’s cry of pain, Lin You spat the finger out and bared his sharp teeth, looking distinctly unfriendly.

“Didn’t Big Uncle ever tell you that curiosity can get you killed? What business is it of yours who I marry in the future? You’re twenty-nine and still haven’t managed to find a girlfriend, yet you have the nerve to criticize me? At this point, even if you brought a man home, Big Uncle would probably be overjoyed.”

Lin Tianliang: “…” This little cousin really is a pain in the ass!

“So? You came back just to vacation with your wife? That’s way too ridiculous, isn’t it?” Lin Tiantong crouched down as well and gave a wicked chuckle. “If it really was that man from earlier, Fourth, then with that frail little body you used to have, you might not be the one marrying him. You might be the one getting pinned down—OW!!”

Young Master Lin You, thoroughly embarrassed into anger, rewarded Third Cousin with a bite. After firmly deciding that this bastard would definitely need a rabies shot later, he snorted twice.

“Since you two showed up, I won’t have to find a spirit bird to carry me home. I only came back to see Mom and Dad, Grandpa, and Great-Grandpa. Once I’ve seen them, I’ll leave again. But I’ve got a feeling Yanxiao and I are getting close to the real test of our tribulation. If we fail to overcome it, this might be the last time you ever see me. So you’d better treat me very nicely. Otherwise, if I die and Mom, Dad, Grandpa, and Great-Grandpa start thinking about how you two brought me home and somehow made me die faster, they’ll probably give you a brutal beating every few days. You’ll spend the rest of your lives living under my shadow. Tsk, tsk. Pitiful, isn’t it?”

Lin Tianliang and Lin Tiantong nearly went weak at the knees. After several seconds, both of their mouths twitched in unison before they declared with certainty, “Yep. You’re definitely that same heartless lunatic. We genuinely can’t think of anyone more aggravating than you!”

Young Master Lin responded with the canine equivalent of a mocking hehe .

“Come on, let’s go. I took three days off, which is enough time for me to go back and catch up with everyone. But you can’t let any of the other collateral relatives see me. You know that, right? Otherwise… hehe.”

Lin Tiantong finally couldn’t resist knocking Lin You lightly on his doggy head. Gritting his teeth, he said, “We know, Little Ancestor! We must have owed you a massive debt in our last lives!”

Afterward, Lin Tianliang and Lin Tiantong picked Lin You up and carried him toward the far side of the hot spring. Beyond it lay untouched mountain forest without so much as a path. The twins didn’t seem to care in the slightest. They casually walked forward, and the moment they reached the woods, all three figures vanished into thin air.

Mu One, who had been hiding behind a tree the entire time: “…!!”

Fine. He’d already seen an utterly unscientific golden bird the size of a football field. How could some supposedly minor Daoist art like “Shrinking the Earth into an Inch” possibly shock him now?! Hmph… Better hurry back and report to Young Master Mu. At the very least, Linlin’s identity could now be confirmed.

Hmm. Hopefully Young Master Mu wouldn’t lose his mind and try something ridiculous with the Lin Family after hearing the report. Mu One thought with considerable unease.

Hadn’t that Sun-whatever-his-name-was already said it? The Lin Family of Qinling produced a freak in every generation.

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