The Ties That Wound

This is something I can do for both of them.

Hinami heard the door open and shut with a clunk. She jumped to her feet from the sofa, where she had been lying down. While she’d been waiting, she’d been thinking about a lot of things. She must be lonely and sad too. Just like me. Hinami was at a loss as to how to fill this hole. But when we’re together she seems a little distracted.

“Touka!” Hinami exclaimed, clinging to Touka, who had just come out of her room. She buried her head in her chest. Touka gave her hair a stroke. Hinami looked up and saw that Touka was quietly smiling.

“What’s up with you, Hinami?” Touka said, and gave her a worried look. Concealing her own emotions, her face was one of pure concern for Hinami. “Wanna play a game?” she said, and went into the living room.

Hinami watched her walk off and started twisting her own shirt in her hands.

II

After the Aogiri battle, there had been an oppressive air hanging over Anteiku, although everyone had made it through safely. Perhaps the missing “piece” was much larger than themselves.

“Irimi, is Mr. Yoshimura all right?” Hinami asked, seeing Irimi coming out of the room where Yoshimura, the manager of Anteiku, was recuperating. Yoshimura had singlehandedly fought the CCG elites in order to buy time while they were rescuing Kaneki. He was heavily wounded.

Irimi gave her a gentle smile. “He’s just resting up so he can get better, so don’t worry,” she said.

“Oh. Will he get better soon?”

“Definitely. He’ll have the café up and going again in no time.”

Anteiku was temporarily closed at the moment. The door was shut, and the café, which was usually filled with a gentle buzz, was deserted.

But Koma, the big-nosed waiter who had been left in charge of the store while it was closed, was keeping things in good order so that the café could be reopened at any time. And the rooms that had been destroyed in the Aogiri attack were still being repaired and would soon be restored to their former state.

“I guess you and Touka are gonna be really busy,” Hinami said casually. A faint shadow passed over Irimi’s face.

“Hinami, how’s Touka doing?”

“Um, well … same as always,” she answered.

Touka had gone into battle against the Aogiri Tree, fully prepared to die in order to save Kaneki, who had been kidnapped and imprisoned by them. Hinami thought that nobody had wanted to rescue Kaneki more than Touka, the young woman who let Hinami call her “big sister.”

She was often rather cold when it came to Kaneki, but she worried about him more than anyone else.

Hinami remembered seeing Touka immediately after Kaneki was kidnapped by Aogiri, pale-faced and shaking a little as Yoshimura told her that she should consider the fact that she may never see Kaneki again.

Bring Kaneki back and get back to normal. That was what everyone had wanted.

Hinami couldn’t fight like Touka could, but she’d learned from Irimi how to use her senses and had joined the fight by supporting everyone else. And then finally they’d succeeded in finding Kaneki, but—

It was like a novel by Sen Takatsuki, Hinami’s favorite author. There had been a conflict over something—conflicted emotions, misunderstood feelings, and a longed-for conclusion that never came to pass.

“Now things can go back to normal,” Touka had said, but Kaneki rejected that notion.

“I’m not going back to Anteiku.”

That was not all. Touka wanted to follow Kaneki if he was going to go his own way and do what he wanted to do, but he had rejected those feelings as well.

And then he’d taken off and left her there.

It must have been quite a shock for her, Hinami thought. And I’m sure it still hurts. But it wasn’t something she ever talked about in front of Hinami. And that made Hinami desperately sad.

What can I do to cheer her up?

Everyone was gathered in the entrance room, as if something was happening. When Hinami walked in, their pet cockatiel Hetare sang, “Hetare, hetare!” Hinami realized that this was the day of the week when Kaneki would usually give Hetare food, so she got the food out and changed his water. Hetare—whose name meant “loser”—buried his head in his food tray, pecking at his food like it might disappear soon.

She pulled a chair over by Hetare’s cage and watched him. Hetare started hopping around on his perch. Maybe he’s anxious because I’m here.

“I wonder how Kaneki’s doing …”

Touka wasn’t the only one she was worried about. She was also concerned about Kaneki, who had gone and left them.

Hinami hadn’t gotten to speak to him before he left that day, but watching from a distance she thought he looked lonely as he walked away, and that thought had stayed with her.

None of that changes the fact that they care about each other. So why do they both have to be so sad?

Hinami stood up, then put her finger through a gap in the bird’s cage. Hetare took note immediately and pressed his red cheek to her finger, playfully pretending to scratch his head against her. When she started to gently scratch his head with her fingernail, the overexcited bird looked at her happily. That’s probably enough, Hinami thought. She pulled her hand away and had started to walk out of the room when Hetare squealed, “Hetare, hetare!”

“I’ll come back later,” Hinami said, and shut the door. Hetare was still squawking.

She slipped secretly into the café. Even though it was temporarily closed, the store still smelled like fragrant coffee. Every time she took a breath the taste of coffee in the air made her tongue dance.

“Oh, we’ve got a customer. A cute one, too.”

A jolt of surprise went through Hinami. She had thought she was alone, but Koma was standing behind the counter. She thought he would be mad at her for coming in without permission, but Koma went back to work without telling her off.

“Mr. Koma, what are you doing?”

“Checking the coffee machine. Has to be done at a time like this.”

With practiced movements, Koma busily dismantled the device and wiped down its interior workings, replacing parts as needed. Hinami sat down at the counter and watched. Then, as if something had just occurred to him, he started brewing coffee with the machine he’d just checked.

Compared to the scent of coffee that lingered in the store, it smelled so rich that it tickled Hinami’s nose.

“Here you go,” Koma said, pouring the coffee into a cup and handing it over the counter to Hinami.

“Oh, are you sure?”

“I think the café feels lonely too, without any customers here.”

Hinami looked around her.

“Can a café be lonely?”

“It sure can. A café is like the cup, and customers are the coffee. One is not complete without the other. So I’m sure the café misses having people in it. Well, drink up, before it goes cold,” Koma said.

Hinami brought the coffee up to her mouth.

Coffee was the only thing she could have without feeling a sense of guilt, and it was also one of the very few things that Ghouls could share with humans. The coffee that Koma had made smelled somehow friendly. With each sip she remembered when the café was crowded. Hinami turned to look around again.

“You know, Kaneki used to come here a lot before he started working here.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. I think he really liked the coffee I make.”

“Oh … Maybe he still misses your coffee …” she murmured, and Koma smiled.

“You’re worried about him, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m worried about him too. I wonder if the people in his group feel they can’t stop him even if he’s being reckless … But then, I don’t know if it’d be any different if I were there.”

“What do you mean, can’t stop him?” She tilted her head, unable to understand what he meant. Koma gave her a know-it-all look.

“The people who are following Kaneki see him as a ‘leader.’ His word is law, and they’d risk their lives for him. But they can’t tell him when he’s doing something wrong, or get angry with him, without consequences.”

“Why? Don’t they all like Kaneki?”

“That’s what happens when you’re a leader. It’s always lonely at the top, no matter how many friends you have.”

Hinami tilted her head to one side again, so Koma spoke in more detail.

“When there’s a power imbalance, it’s impossible to stand on an equal footing. Those who are higher up don’t want to make everyone anxious, so they have no choice but to take a strong stance on everything, and those who are lower down have to be strong and accept everything the leader says.”

“Is that … what it’s like?”

“Yeah. Touka could sometimes stop him from lashing out, but the people around him now can’t do anything but look on, I imagine.”

As she listened, Hinami became increasingly anxious.

“I wonder if he’s all right …”

“Oh, but the thing is, a strong bond develops between people who fight together. I don’t think you need to worry about him, Hinami,” Koma rushed to add.

Just then the front door swung open, even though the café was temporarily closed.

“Sorry, we’re closed tod—”

But Koma stopped in the middle of his sentence.

“Nishiki? Shouldn’t you be in class?”

Standing at the door was Nishio Nishiki, a member of staff at the Anteiku and a student at the same college as Kaneki.

“No afternoon classes today. Any word on me getting some shifts soon?” he said, walking up to the seats at the counter.

“I think we should reopen soon. Yoshimura is still taking it easy, so I can’t say anything for certain.”

“Really …” Nishiki said, hesitantly. There was nothing for him to do there, but he didn’t seem to want to leave. He started muttering, “Hmm . … Well, what can you do, huh?” under his breath. Suddenly Hinami realized something.

“You’re worried about Kaneki too, aren’t you?”

Frowning, he stuttered, “W-what? No, no way.” Koma grinned and rubbed his chin.

“Why are you grinning, Koma?”

“Well, well, Nishiki. Let me get you some coffee. I’ll make it slowly.”

“I don’t really want one …”

“No, let me,” Koma said and started making him a cup. Nishiki sat down next to Hinami at the counter, looking disappointed.

“Here you go.”

Nishiki took a gulp of steaming hot coffee and looked around the café like he was searching for an escape route. Koma looked more and more amused. The atmosphere in the café felt a little better now. But then Irimi appeared.

“May I see you for a minute?”

Apparently she had a task for Koma.

“Too bad,” teased Koma. “I was just about to commiserate with Nishio here about our worries over Kaneki’s whereabouts.”

“I told you, I’m not worried!”

Nishiki slammed his hand down on the counter, and Koma disappeared into the back of the café, grinning. Nishiki put his head on his hands sulkily and drank his coffee. It was just Hinami and Nishiki now. They sat there in the strangely quiet café.

“Hey, brat,” Nishiki muttered, breaking the silence. His head was still turned away from her as he spoke. “How’s that ugly girl you live with?”

“Ugly girl?”

“Touka, I’m talking about Touka.”

Hinami stared up at him, blinking her big eyes. Stung by her gaze, Nishiki jumped slightly and stammered, “W-what?”

“So you’re worried about Touka, too.”

“Huh?! Where’d you get that?”

“But …”

“I’m not!” he yelled, desperately denying it. But little Hinami made Nishiki feel truly pathetic for making excuses. He sighed deeply and stopped shouting.

Then he started spilling out words.

“Kaneki hasn’t gone to any of his classes.”

“He’s not going to school?”

“It’s like he’s just dropped out of human society.”

Nishiki put his cup down on the saucer, then threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling.

“I knew that bastard was trying to find ‘the right distance away from people,’ but once he saw those dangerous Ghouls his goal totally changed. His cherished idea of finding the right distance away from people just went straight out the window.”

Hinami wondered if he was actually talking to her, or if he was just saying it to confirm it for himself.

He lowered his eyes to his coffee and brought it up to his lips.

“He still doesn’t fully get how hard it is for Ghouls like us to get into human society. It’s like dominoes: if one goes down, they all go. And once you lose it, it doesn’t come back that easily,” he said. “God, what a stupid bastard.”

Nishiki finished his coffee and stood up.

“Look, brat, finish your coffee and get out of here.”

“Oh, um …”

Hinami drained the little bit of coffee left in the bottom of her cup and passed it to Nishiki. He rolled up his sleeves and started to wash the cups with familiar motions.

“Things seem all right here …”

Nishiki wiped the cups dry and put them back on the shelf. “Bye,” he said and left the café.

It was difficult for Hinami to understand all of what Nishiki had said. But one thing she did understand was that he was jealously guarding the place where he felt he belonged.

And Kaneki’s the one who gave him that opportunity.

That evening, when Touka was finished at school, she came back to Anteiku.

“Hina, I’m back.”

She was covered in scratches and still not back to her normal strength, but she didn’t seem to have any problem going to school.

“Mr. Koma made me some coffee today.”

“That’s nice. He makes great coffee, doesn’t he?”

Hinami sat beside Touka, going over the day’s events. Touka listened, chipping in occasionally.

“I think Nishiki’s worried about big brother too.”

“I didn’t think he was that kind of guy.”

“No, but he is. He knows a lot about big brother. He said he’s still not going to his classes.”

Touka said nothing.

“I wonder where he is right now … I wish he’d come visit.” She looked up at Touka, who was staring into the distance as if she were grappling with something.

Big sister …

Did I make her sadder by talking about Kaneki?

“Big sister, hold my hand,” she said cheerfully to change the subject.

“Oh, right,” Touka said, and held out her hand. Hinami put her hand in Touka’s, and like always, Touka squeezed her hand. It makes me happy, so why am I so sad?

When I’m upset, Touka is always there for me and cares for me more than anyone else. But now, when she’s overwhelmed and her heart and body are wounded, there’s nothing I can do for her.

I love Touka and Kaneki. If I could make a wish, I’d ask for the strength of two people so I could help. But to them I’m just a kid, not somebody they can rely on.

That’s why, like Koma said, we’re not “equal.”

III

It had been over two months since Kaneki had disappeared. Anteiku reopened, and at first glance everyone seemed to have gotten back to their usual routines. Little by little, they stopped talking about Kaneki. That made Hinami a little scared.

Touka had recently been doing things like buying reference books or going to the library to study with her friend Yoriko. She had started preparing in earnest for her college entrance exams.

Hinami liked reading the books Touka bought to learn words and kanji she didn’t know. The more I learn, the more I want to learn.

Hinami didn’t know how awful exams could be because she didn’t go to school, but she thought it was great that Touka was trying to gain more knowledge.

But Touka didn’t throw herself into studying when she was around Hinami. She made sure not to stay too late studying at the library, and always got home to see Hinami.

Devoting herself to studying had given her back a little of her old energy. Having a goal seemed to be good for her.

But Touka almost never spoke about Kaneki anymore. Is she giving in to the passage of time and forgetting all about him?

“So just wait in the back until I’m done.”

“All right!”

Touka was on shift that day. Hinami, who had come to Anteiku with her, happily put some new food in Hetare’s dish. It was her week to take care of Hetare, a duty that rotated among everyone, Kaneki excluded.

The rooms that had been destroyed by Aogiri had been perfectly rebuilt and looked just the same as ever.

Hinami sat down on the sofa and started reading her book, so as not to get in anyone’s way.

“What’s that character?”

As she read, she came across some difficult kanji, but she quickly figured out how to read them.

That says “downpour.”

In her mind she heard Kaneki’s kindly voice, telling her what the words meant.

“Oh …”

At the same time, she heard the sound of footsteps. She raised her head, closed her book, and followed the noise out into the hallway.

Standing there was Renji Yomo, who seemed surprised to see Hinami. He looked down at her for a second, then tried to pass by.

Hinami gathered her courage. “Um, sorry,” she said to stop him. Yomo paused, his back turned to her.

“Is Kaneki … all right, do you know?” she asked. Yomo looked back; his face was blank.

“Why are you asking me?” he said.

“I just thought, since you know about everything …”

“You’ve overestimated me,” he said shortly, trying to end the conversation.

“B-but you do know where he is, don’t you!” She kept hounding him.

“How’d you hear that?”

“Please … I care about him. I love Kaneki, and I only want to hear about him because I’m worried. And I think maybe if Touka heard he’s doing well, it might put her mind at ease . …”

Yomo finally turned to look at Hinami, who was now hiding her face. But he said nothing. Perhaps he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come.

“I want to know when he’ll achieve what he wants to. And if he’ll come back here when he’s done. And then maybe we can—”

—all be together again.

“Should I just wait here? Wait here with big sister?”

Once again Yomo said nothing. I bet he wouldn’t tell me anything anyway. Hinami slumped and started walking reluctantly back to the living room.

“Just wait here,” Yomo muttered quietly. Hinami turned around, surprised. She didn’t think he’d say anything. She waited for him to finish the sentence, but Yomo left without saying another word.

Just wait here …

Were the next words, “what else can you do?”

Even after Touka finished her shift and they walked home together, Hinami stayed lost in thought. Yomo’s words just kept playing over and over in her head.

He knows how Kaneki’s doing. I know he does. So since he told me “Just wait here,” that must mean there’s a small chance that Kaneki might come back.

“Hinami? You all right?”

She was sitting on the sofa, knees to her chest, with a hard expression on her face. Touka sat down next to her and leaned in, peeking at Hinami’s face.

“It’s nothing!” she said, but Touka still looked worried.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

It made Hinami happy and embarrassed that Touka was worried about her, and she threw her arms around Touka, who smiled wryly at this show of affection and gave her a few pats on the back. When things were good like this, Hinami’s worries started to fade little by little. She started to feel more comfortable, and her eyelids fluttered heavily. Remembering the warmth of her mother, Ryoko, who had died protecting her, Hinami drifted into the land of sleep.

I had a dream.

Big brother?

A dream where Kaneki was in a place so, so far away that I could barely make out his shape.

I yelled out, “Big brother!” But he was so far away that my voice didn’t reach him. I tried to run toward him but it was like my feet were glued to the ground.

Hesitantly, I found my voice again and yelled, “Big brother!” But Kaneki was getting farther and farther away. Before long I couldn’t see him anymore, and I was left behind, all alone.

Then, suddenly, Touka appeared instead.

“Big sister …”

Finally I could move again. “I just saw him,” I said, grabbing Touka’s hand, but even though she was so close she didn’t react to what I said. But she was staring sadly toward where Kaneki had been. I called out again and again and pulled her hand, but she didn’t look at me. She just kept looking far away.

“Mm …”

Hinami’s eyes fluttered open and, her mind still hazy from sleep, she looked around. The light was still on, and a blanket had been draped over her.

She turned over and looked up to find Touka there. She had fallen asleep on her, using her knee as a pillow.

“Big sister?”

Touka’s eyes were closed, and she was slumped back on the sofa. From her regular breathing, it was clear that she was asleep too.

When she took another look, she saw a biology textbook lying in Touka’s hand. I guess she was studying while I was asleep.

“Mmm …” muttered Touka quietly. I guess she’s waking up because I moved. Reflexively, Hinami pretended to still be asleep.

“Wha … Oh God, I fell asleep . …”

Touka stretched a little and adjusted the blanket covering Hinami. Then she picked up her book and started flipping through it.

Hinami opened her eyes a sliver and stole a glance at Touka.

“Oh, I have so much to remember …” she murmured, sounding fed up, but she didn’t put down the book. Touka squinted and furrowed her brow, trying hard to understand what she was reading. Does she always look like this when she studies?

It was hard for Hinami to keep pretending she was asleep because she wanted to talk to Touka. I want to tell her about the scary dream I just had.

But Touka kept reading until, suddenly, she looked up at the ceiling as if she’d just remembered something, and sighed.

Hinami couldn’t really see her face from where she was lying. Just as she wondered what was going on, Hinami heard Touka talking to herself quietly.

“Damnit, Kaneki …”

Her voice was tinged with both anger and sorrow.

She muttered those words, then silently stood and picked up Hinami in her arms. Then she carried Hinami to bed, said, “Good night,” and left.

Hinami lay there quietly until she was sure Touka had gone.

Then she slowly got out of bed. The door was closed. The light in the living room was off, and Touka had apparently gone back to her room.

“Touka? Big sister?” she said, so quietly it could not be heard. Hinami closed her eyes tightly, hoping to forget. But the voice was burned in her mind, and it kept coming back to her again and again.

Touka tried so hard to be cheerful in front of Hinami, but her pain still came through.

She hadn’t forgotten Kaneki at all. She thought about him nearly every day, but she kept the pain to herself and never let it show on the outside. But still, she finds things that she needs to do for herself, and it’s a slow journey she’s learning from.

As she thought about Touka, Hinami realized something. Or rather, she felt an inkling about something.

“I’m getting in her way …”

Touka had never thought of Hinami as an annoyance, and Hinami had never suspected that she had. She believed in Touka. She knew that they would always be together.

But I’m tying her down.

She never neglects me to focus on her studies. And no matter how much she needs to study, no matter how busy she is with school, she always gives me precedence, sacrificing herself for me.

And it’s always been like this. Once Kaneki disappeared she was consumed by such deep sadness, but still she always tucks me into bed at night.

Looking back now, Hinami remembered how Touka always worried about her whenever she remembered Kaneki and felt sad, pushing down her own sadness.

It’s because she thinks I need to be protected. It makes me so happy I could cry, but it hurts with every breath because I’m crying.

Just like my mother, who protected me at the cost of her own life, Touka does all she can to support me—even pushing down her own feelings. I can’t do anything for her. I’m just baggage. Hinami clenched her shirt in her fists and bit her lip.

“Big brother …”

If he’d just come back this feeling would all go away in a second. And Touka wouldn’t have to call out so sadly.

But in the end, that’s just waiting in vain for someone else to save me.

Hinami remembered how Kaneki had looked as he said goodbye to Touka after the battle with Aogiri. Lonely. I wonder if he’s still fighting even now. I wonder if that gentle, book-loving boy is out there shedding blood, gouging through flesh, and taking someone’s life away. If he’ll ever be able to find his way back home.

And then, with nowhere to turn back to, where would he go on his own?

“No, it can’t be …”

She remembered the dream she’d just had, and how he hadn’t heard her calling to him. How he’d disappeared into the darkness alone.

She let go of her shirt and brought her hands together so firmly that she thought her fingertips might break.

My hands are much smaller and weaker than Touka’s and Kaneki’s. And I know I can’t do much with them. But living here, in a safe place where I’m taken care of and can have a comfortable life, my voice can’t reach anyone. That’s how it stands.

Hinami thought for a moment.

If someone can’t hear you, you need to go closer. If your words don’t reach them, you grab their hand.

And when Kaneki is alone and lost, there’s something I want to tell him. That he’ll always have a way home, and somewhere to return to. That I’ll get lost with him, because I don’t want him to be alone.

Maybe being with him would hurt me, but the pain of being protected eventually makes one spoiled and corrupted.

I want to tell Kaneki, dressed in his lonely armor, that there are people nearby who care about him. I want to tell him that Touka is waiting for him to come back.

Because I know, more than anyone else, that nobody can go through life on their own.

“I want to protect them too—big brother and big sister!”

IV

Listen. Latch on to the sound. It takes human form in your mind and tells you where you belong.

In an abandoned building, one left vacant since going bankrupt a few years ago, Hinami’s hands were on the floor of the lobby, her arms outstretched. Kaneki and Kazuichi Banjo, along with Ichimi, Jiro, and Sante—a close band of guys who wanted to put their energies to use and carry out actions with Kaneki—stood holding their breath and watching.

“Hasn’t noticed us yet …”

“On the third floor, possibly in the little room close to the stairs … asleep.”

Kaneki looked toward the stairs, then pointed to Ichimi and Jiro. They nodded.

Then Kaneki pointed to the floor, indicating to Banjo and Sante to stay there. Sante nodded obediently, but Banjo, who had taken a vow to shield Kaneki and had been with him all this time, looked chagrined.

Banjo was as muscular as a professional wrestler, and he appeared strong at first glance, but he could not release a Kagune. And without a Kagune it was impossible to battle other Ghouls.

So for now, he would fight against Ghouls given to him by Chie Hori, the informer with some connection to Tsukiyama.

“I think he’s perfect for Kaneki to take on.”

He looked at the photos she’d sent and said, “This is Noyama.” After his parents were killed by the CCG, he palmed his beautiful younger sister off to a millionaire and turned her into a bit of a money-spinner. He told people his plan was to wait until the millionaire died, when the money would go to his sister, but his sister had recently been killed by the CCG.

Kaneki had gone one flight up the stairs. He snapped his fingers.

Then he dashed off all at once.

By the count of ten there was a roar from the floor above.

“Here we go!”

Then, the sound of something hitting the wall and a vibration.

“H-Hinami, what should we do?” Banjo asked worriedly, but Hinami answered, “It’s all right, that wasn’t Kaneki.” A rain of dust fell from the ceiling.

All this banging and thumping was hurting Hinami’s ears.

“Tsukiyama wanted to be here for this too,” Sante said. But today Tsukiyama was out lending support to Chie Hori because she was getting to the heart of the information gathering that Kaneki had asked her to do.

Her current goal was to find the list of fugitives from Cochlea. And the outcome of their war largely rested on whether or not she could get this information.

“Tsukiyama’s dangerous. And Kaneki doesn’t want to show his hand right now.”

Known as “Kaneki’s sword,” Tsukiyama held a completely different position among Kaneki’s followers than Banjo, but sometimes that “sword” took a few practice swings that may or may not have been aimed at Kaneki. Nor did Kaneki appear to completely trust Tsukiyama. But his ability could not be overstated. In fact, there were lots of things that couldn’t go ahead without Tsukiyama, which drove Banjo crazy.

“Whoa.”

Another roar, louder than any other roar had been. “Is it over?” Sante whispered.

But Hinami had reached a very different conclusion.

“It’s coming from the stairs! They’re getting away!”

The roar was the sound of a Ghoul being slammed back into the part of the stairs that connected two floors.

If Noyama had taken the blow, then he might try running away. And if that happened—

“We gotta go! He’s gonna come here!”

At the same time Banjo yelled, Sante picked up Hinami and started running.

Banjo ran toward the stairs with the intention of serving as backup.

“Gzzzzzooooooooooooooooonnnnn!”

Noyama came flying down the stairs, as Hinami had guessed, making a strange screeching sound as he did. His Kagune was an ukaku, perfect for high-speed attacks. Banjo, who had wanted to try to buy a little time until Hinami could escape from the abandoned building, was blown back instantly, making it impossible to buy even a second of time.

“Banjo!”

“Expected nothing less from you, Banjo!”

Sante ran at full speed with Hinami in his arms, unconcerned about Banjo, perhaps because he had never counted on him at all. Recognizing Hinami and Sante as Kaneki’s friends and, furthermore, seeing that they were not blessed with a lot of fighting power, Noyama vengefully reduced the distance between them in one burst. Noyama was catching up with Hinami and Sante much faster than they could make it to the door of the abandoned building.

“No!”

Noyama’s Kagune was close. But Hinami heard the unmistakable buzzing sound of Rc cells being released, followed by the sound of someone falling to the floor.

“Sante, leave him to Kaneki!”

He reacted immediately to Hinami’s words and kicked the ground.

Noyama’s body rose up with the force of the blow, nearly hitting the ceiling, and in that second Kaneki’s Kagune speared him. If Noyama had been running in front of us, we would’ve been speared too.

“Whoaaaaa, wow!” shouted Sante admiringly, rotating and landing skillfully.

Now Noyama can’t run away again. Now all he can do is wait to die. But Hinami, who was back on her own two feet again, still couldn’t run over to Kaneki’s side.

“You did some quite heartless things, didn’t you?”

Kaneki sounded cold as he spoke to Noyama, who was twitching like a bug with its wings plucked off.

“Kaneki, you got something on him?”

“Lots of photos of him dismantling girls. Where’s Banjo?”

“Laid out over there. When Banjo saw the pictures he freaked out.”

While Ichimi and the others talked casually, Hinami remembered the first time she had met Kaneki.

She remembered asking him whether he was a human or a Ghoul because of the mysterious smell he gave off.

And Kaneki had told her that his body was part Ghoul but his mind was human. And that if he could, he would go back to having a human body.

“Gotta separate the wheat from the chaff,” Kaneki said, snapping open the mouth restraint on his mask and biting down on Noyama’s ukaku.

“Aieeeeeoooooo!”

A pain like Noyama had never experienced made him jump and twitch.

Kaneki has fully crossed the line and jumped into the Ghoul world.

But now that he’s decided to accept that he’s a Ghoul and live as one, when will he realize?

Hinami could still smell it—the human scent that clung to his body. It’ll always be with him.

Now that he’s turned his sights away from being a human, he must be scared that a day will come when he’ll be punished as a human.

Hinami remembered something else—the day that Kaneki had told Touka that he wanted to go back to how he was.

I thought, if he’s dangerous, then maybe he should be stopped. I thought someone should warn him about what would happen if he carried on. And even if she gets angry at me and tells me not to be so stupid, that’s fine.

But instead, silence. Touka just sat there looking at Hinami. Hinami stared straight back at her.

“I see.”

At last, Touka smiled wryly.

“When you look at me like that, what can I even say?”

She turned away from Hinami’s gaze and was silent for a while, but eventually she looked straight back at Hinami.

“You can always come back.”

She didn’t say anything else. Touka reached out and hugged Hinami tightly, as if she was trying not to lose her, and Hinami hugged her back with all of her strength.

I really want to be here with Touka. I don’t want to leave. But right now I’m just weighing her down.

“You done?” Ichimi muttered, looking at Kaneki, who had stepped away from Noyama’s body.

There was something about Kaneki, who was now done fighting, that kept anyone from approaching him. I don’t know whether that’s his intention or just a figment of our imagination.

But Hinami rushed over to Kaneki anyway, calling for him.

“Big brother!”

His hair had turned white, his nails had turned dark red, and his heart was grief-stricken—everyone agreed he had changed.

But he was always kind to Hinami. He was one of the most important people to her because he had saved her, and that would never change.

Kaneki turned to look. He was bathed in someone else’s blood, but he smiled gently and said, “You didn’t get hurt, did you, Hinami?”

We are with you, Hinami whispered to him in her mind. Me, and Touka too. Even if I can’t get it across to you now, I want to prove to you that we’re with you.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Let’s go home, big brother.”

Kaneki smiled. “Yep, let’s go,” he said and started walking.

“We have to move to another Ward now.”

Tomorrow is another day on this rocky path we walk, never knowing stability. But I believe.

I believe that the sun shines after a downpour.