Volume 1, Chapter 67 – Helplessness

Shi Lan kept her head down and said nothing.

“Youth really is a blessing.”

Jiang Li let out a sigh, plopped down beside Shi Lan, grabbed the little paper packet from the ground, stuffed two pieces in his mouth, then took a big gulp of meat broth and grinned. “With looks like yours, I bet you’ve led more than a few young ladies astray.”

Shi Lan glanced at Jiang Li twice and couldn’t help asking, “You don’t feel even a little uncomfortable? You’re not worried at all the city might fall?”

“Would worrying help?” Jiang Li’s expression was utterly carefree. Ever since he sobered up that day, he had figured things out. Brooding over all sorts of pointless ‘what ifs’ was just making trouble for himself.

Seeing the complicated look on Shi Lan’s face, Jiang Li shook his head. “I can more or less guess what you’re thinking. Basically, that you can’t do anything, and that you’re afraid of dying.”

Shi Lan lowered her head a touch. What he said wasn’t completely spot-on, but she did more or less have thoughts along those lines.

“I was hot-blooded once too. When I first set out, I wasn’t as good as other people. Whenever I got taught a lesson, I’d be so mad I couldn’t eat for three days. I’d sit there thinking, ‘Why am I worse than them? Why am I so weak?’ Later, when I got a bit older and had a family and career, I understood something—people shouldn’t always take themselves so seriously.”

At that, Shi Lan lifted her head in mild surprise.

Jiang Li took another swig of broth. “Once you take yourself too seriously, you pile a ton of pressure on your own shoulders. When you face something, it’s easy to box yourself into a corner and torture yourself.”

“Whether this city falls or not, whether we live or die in the end—that’s not something you get to decide. Might as well try to take it easier. As for dying… honestly, I’m afraid of that too.”

Jiang Li’s mood dimmed.

“A few days ago, I was still thinking about this. If I die, what happens to Tang Yan? What about the kids? Then it suddenly hit me—even if I die, they’ll still go on living just fine. At most they’ll grieve for me for a while. Life still has to go on.”

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“So you’re not afraid of dying anymore?” Shi Lan asked softly.

“I still am. But when I think that it’s because I stayed here that the three of them can keep on living together, I feel like it’d be a pretty worthwhile death. Oh, right, you really don’t want any? Stuff like this doesn’t come around often.”

As he spoke, Jiang Li held the little paper packet out toward Shi Lan.

“No, thanks.” Shi Lan shook her head slightly and smiled. She felt a lot lighter inside.

She only agreed with part of what Jiang Li said. You shouldn’t take yourself too seriously, but you also shouldn’t treat yourself like you don’t matter at all. She was weak now only because she hadn’t been training in the martial path for very long.

As for dying…

There was no way she was dying this early. She’d come all the way to another world and even ended up in a woman’s body—dying now would be a colossal loss. This vast, colorful world, she hadn’t even had a taste of it yet.

She had been in the Lingyang Realm for just over half a year. Aside from those few comfortable days at the Shi Residence at the very start, almost all her time had been spent on the road.

According to what Samsara had said, as long as she could stand at the peak of the Lingyang Realm, the system might解除 its binding. When that time came, she could live the life she wanted.

Thinking of the system, Shi Lan pulled up the system panel and opened the mission tab.

【687/1000】

Looking at the number in front, a trace of disbelief flashed through Shi Lan’s eyes. Had she really killed that many demonic beasts at the ninth stage of the Body Tempering Realm and above in a single night?

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Shi Lan shifted her gaze to the Nine-Bow Bed Crossbow beside her. Could it be…?

“Thud… thud……”

That familiar sound of heavy footsteps came from the distance once more.

“I’m heading off.”

Jiang Li finished the meat broth in a few quick gulps and got to his feet.

Shi Lan stood as well, grabbed a fresh Demon-Piercing Crossbow, narrowed her eyes, and drew the string, nocking an arrow.

During the day, the demonic beasts’ assault wasn’t particularly fierce. Compared to the night, it was much milder. But with last night’s experience, everyone knew in their hearts that nightfall would be the real ordeal.

After recovering what they could, the city only had fewer than fifty thousand arrows left. Most of the rest were buried in the charred corpses of demonic beasts and couldn’t be retrieved. They had, however, managed to recover quite a few Cloud-Piercing Bolts—there were still seven hundred.

But there weren’t many able-bodied men in the city who still had any fighting strength left.

The pressure tonight would be several times what it had been last night.

For some reason, Huangfu Yun and the other centurions had vanished without a trace. Even command of the Demon-Suppressing Army had been temporarily handed over to Nie Yangze.

After two consecutive waves of beast herds a thousand-odd strong, another wave approached—this one nearly five thousand beasts.

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Shi Lan tossed aside the Demon-Piercing Crossbow in her hands and moved over to the Nine-Bow Bed Crossbow, joining the other eight Demon-Suppressing Army soldiers at the ninth stage of the Body Tempering Realm to draw the string together.

Watching the nine waves of qi howl out and tear through the herd, Shi Lan shifted her gaze to the system panel.

Sure enough, the numbers began to shoot up, climbing from 687 and stopping at 734.

Clearly, the system didn’t care how the demonic beasts were killed. Using a large-scale weapon like the bed crossbow still counted.

Just like yesterday, once the sun began to set, the demonic beasts vanished again. Only then did Huangfu Yun and the other centurions reappear, each of them expressionless.

As soon as they came up onto the wall, they gathered all the older Demon-Suppressing Army veterans together and handed each of them a blood-red pill.

The moment they received the pills, the mood between them grew heavy.

Taking advantage of the rest period, Jiang Li came over to Shi Lan again with several waterskins, Yan Shan coming along with him.

Jiang Li tossed one of the waterskins into Shi Lan’s arms and sat down beside her, while Yan Shan sat opposite the two of them.

Shi Lan uncapped the waterskin and took a swig—then suddenly opened her eyes wide.

“Shh……”

Jiang Li raised a hand to hush her, then lowered his voice. “I swiped it in secret. No one knows.”

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“You’ve got some nerve. The centurions clearly ordered no drinking during wartime,” Shi Lan said under her breath.

“It’s just a little, it won’t matter.” Jiang Li waved it off, then pointed toward the group of older Demon-Suppressing Army soldiers. “Look over there.”

Shi Lan lifted her head and looked. Several centurions were handing out wine bowls to the old veterans, and Huangfu Yun followed behind them with a large wine jar, filling each bowl to the brim.

Jiang Li uncapped the waterskin and took a big gulp. “If tonight’s like last night again… we probably won’t make it through.”

Shi Lan knew this perfectly well. She had even already decided that if the city fell, she would use Samsara’s power to get out of here.

She didn’t want to throw her life away here. And as for Jiang Li, she figured if she asked Samsara to bring one more person along, he probably wouldn’t refuse.

As for Huangfu Yun…

She’d only been following him for just under a month, but she’d more or less figured out what kind of person he was.

If she brought up running away, Huangfu Yun might well draw that half-zhang-long saber of his and force her to take those words back.

Yan Shan sat to one side, silently taking two swigs of wine, his expression bleak.