Peach-Orange! – Chapter 124 – Suicide Note

《Suicide Note》

—To my most, most, most beloved Tao-Tao.

When you see this blank sheet of paper, I’ve probably already fallen asleep.

A deep, eternal slumber, one that will never disturb your life again.

I once believed that love was something you could chase relentlessly, that loving you was a grand celebration.

Like fireworks under the starry sky: brief, yet dazzlingly brilliant.

I must be sick. Maybe I’ve been abnormal for a while now. I’ve been nothing but trouble for you, and deep down, I’ve always known.

I didn’t want to make you sad. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to interfere with your life. So I listened to you and slowly became obedient.

I thought that would earn me your care, your affection. But instead, I only watched you drift further away.

I mustered the courage to confess, hoping to hide myself in your eyes, only to realize it was all one-sided.

I remember when we were little, how you pulled me out of the darkness. Without telling anyone, I secretly handed you the chains.

From then on, I had an excuse: to see only you.

But I knew you didn’t love me. The starlight in your eyes had nothing to do with me. The moments I longed to share were nothing more than trivial interludes to you.

I disrupted your life like an uninvited gust of wind, disturbing your peaceful days.

I thought my burning feelings could move you, but I never realized my obsession was just a burden in your life.

As time passed, I couldn’t tell if you were avoiding me or if you’d been reluctant from the very start.

I’m not stupid. I could sense your indifference, your evasion.

Reaԁ oո КatRеαdіngСаfe

But if you wanted me to be a little fool, then I’d keep depending on you.

Even though I tried so hard to be careful, the outcome I feared still unfolded before my eyes.

Your father came back. You have your fiancé. You have your job, your friends, your mentor, your family, your own life. And I was never an inseparable part of it.

I… was probably just a passerby.

After all, I could never give you anything. All I could do was stand there, useless, watching you.

Lost in a roleplay, using every method I could to prove how much I cared.

But all I got in return was avoidance.

I could never let go of the happiness I felt when it was just the two of us. But when I really think about it, maybe I’m better off alone.

That way, no one gets hurt.

When the time to leave finally came, I felt so scared. Even though unease lurked in my heart, I was afraid I’d regret it.

There are many things I could give up, but I could never give up the chance to meet you, even if it was just one-sided.

I wondered if I mattered to you. But our fight during summer break, your fiancé, and your rejection made me realize… it was all just my own wishful thinking.

Not that I blame you, of course. It’s just… I was too weak.

I wanted to go back to where we first met, then hide far away, so I’d never run into you again, and my chains would never cause you pain.

I love the way you blush and fluster.

The way your eyes speak even when you don’t know what to say.

The way you look like you’re about to explode the world when I wake you up at night.

Reаⅾ oո КаtRеaԁiոɡСαfе

The way you sigh at me but still can’t bring yourself to push me away.

The way you’d look at me with joy in your eyes if you met a better-behaved version of me in the next life.

The way you look in my dreams.

Goodnight.

— Your Xiao.

—Xiaocheng.

……

The living room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. In the bathroom, the doctors were still fighting to pull Chi Xiaocheng back from Death’s grasp.

Su Tao clutched the suicide note, fat teardrops falling one after another onto the paper.

The pain in her heart had reached its limit. Her mind replayed every scene mentioned in the letter, each memory crashing over her like suffocating waves.

So Xiaocheng hadn’t been clueless after all. She’d sensed Su Tao’s avoidance all along.

She just never showed it, pretending that obedience would be enough to keep Su Tao by her side.

No wonder she’d asked that question on the bridge.

The cruel irony was that Su Tao had actually believed Xiaocheng’s yandere tendencies were improving.

In reality, she’d been suppressing herself all this time. Her unnatural behavior was solely because Su Tao had once said she preferred her well-behaved.

Even in the final signature, she’d crossed out the words “Your” after already writing them.

Rеαd oո КαtReαⅾіոɡCαfе

Right. Separated by life and death.

‘Xiaocheng no longer belongs to me.’

Hahahaha….

‘Su Tao, oh Su Tao. The reason Xiaocheng ended up like this is entirely your own fault!’

What news about her father? What fiancé? That was just some strangers she’d never met before! And yet, for the sake of a shred of paternal love, for the sake of family, she’d listened to that Xiao Ming’s nonsense.

Was Xiaocheng not family? Was she not important?

If only she hadn’t gone looking for Xiao Ming. If only she’d listened to Dongfang Yang and cut ties sooner. If only she’d returned with Xiaocheng straight from the police station.

Even one minute earlier. Ten seconds.

Would the outcome have been different?

“I killed Xiaocheng.”

Su Tao crumpled the suicide note in her hand, her voice filled with agony.

Leaning back on the sofa, she closed her eyes, lost in memories, or perhaps regret.

Even the usually talkative Dongfang Yang had fallen silent.

He’d been sitting beside Su Tao, reading the note with her. Though he hadn’t finished it, he’d grasped the gist.

An emotional breakdown after their fight. The discovery of a fiancé. Believing Su Tao no longer wanted her, no longer cared, she’d chosen to leave.

Dongfang Yang’s chest felt tight. His mind flashed to that petite figure in the café, sweetly calling him “Boss” with a smile.

In just a short while, everything had changed.

Rеαd oո KatRеaԁіոɡСafе

Could he blame Su Tao?

Chi Xiaocheng had always been prone to overthinking, her mind fractured.

If anyone was to blame, it was that damned engagement paper, that bastard Xiao Ming. They were the final straw.

Who would’ve thought? Chi Xiaocheng and Su Tao had only grown up together. They weren’t even related by blood.

Yet the bond between them had been this suffocatingly heavy.

“What an unbelievably stupid idiot.”

‘It’s not like no one wanted you. If you liked me that much, you could’ve just said so. It’s not like I couldn’t afford to keep you.’

Dongfang Yang sighed under his breath, too quiet for anyone else to hear. He glanced toward the bathroom, then quickly looked away, unable to bear the thought of seeing Chi Xiaocheng drenched in red.

Beside him, Su Tao’s voice trembled with helpless confusion. “Dongfang Yang… what am I supposed to do now?”

Without Xiaocheng.

When Xiaocheng’s death might as well have been by her hand.

Only now did Su Tao realize, so much of her will to live had come from Chi Xiaocheng.

Dongfang Yang stood, burying his own weakness deep inside. “Don’t give up yet,” he said firmly. “Let’s hear what the doctors have to say first.”

Just then, a female doctor in her forties emerged from the bathroom.

Dongfang Yang gave Su Tao’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. She didn’t even have time to wipe her tears before rushing forward, clinging to that last, desperate shred of hope.

“D-Doctor… how is she?”