Peach-Orange! – Chapter 344 – Childhood

“The little light sphere, how many times is this now?”

The girl sat on the ground with her legs tucked in and her knees hugged to her chest. This pure white space was completely empty, without even a wall for her to lean against.

She had failed again, but this time was a bit different from before. After returning to that point in time, she had confessed her feelings to Su Tao.

Naturally, she received the disappointing answer she had expected.

There was no need to wait until December 25th, four months later. This time, she actively threw herself in front of a speeding sports car.

Rather than enduring torment later, it was better to die early and try again.

Yes, she had become utilitarian.

She didn’t want to waste so much effort anymore. She didn’t even have the same goal as before: To make her Tao-Tao leave Ye Liang completely and wake up to the truth.

All she wanted was to be hugged by her one more time.

To be praised like before, to have her head patted. That would be enough.

She could endure every bit of pain, clinging to the faint hope that her Tao-Tao would look at her properly again, that at least the misunderstandings from their fights would be resolved.

But such persistence only brought despair every single time.

Everyone needs a pillar of support.

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Even motivation has its limits.

The little light sphere looked at the girl, who should have been full of energy after being reborn but instead radiated exhaustion and decay, and couldn’t help but sigh. “This is the 43rd time. You’re always in too much of a hurry, so you never make any progress.

“You’ve been exhausting yourself, never taking the time to calm down and think things through.

“The moment you sit here for too long, you just get up and head for that door again. I doubt you’ve even thought about what you could do differently after going back to protect yourself.”

The girl let out a self-deprecating laugh. “It’s not like you’ve come up with any solutions either. You’re just a ball. You don’t have emotions, so how could you possibly understand how I feel?

“You know what? Whenever I try to do nothing, I hear Tao-Tao’s voice in my ears. It’s like she’s trapped in a cage, screaming for help. We’ve been together for over ten years, how could I just abandon her!

“Protect yourself, protect yourself, protect yourself!

“What’s the point of protecting myself?!”

The girl’s words grew increasingly agitated. “I want to protect her! Do you have any idea how terrible Tao-Tao’s fate was in the ending you showed me before? In the end, she was in so much pain that she could only kill herself!!!”

The little light sphere fell silent as it watched the girl’s tears begin to fall.

It had originally shown her the original novel’s ending and some of the abuse Su Tao suffered to make the girl think more calmly and strengthen her resolve so she wouldn’t give up.

But unexpectedly, it had the opposite effect.

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After seeing the protagonist Su Tao’s fate and parts of the original abuse plot, the girl became even more impulsive and extreme.

It wanted to say:

‘You want to protect Su Tao. You’re afraid she’ll end up abused, suffering, and driven to suicide like in the original ending.’

‘But have you ever thought about how much pain you’ve endured in every single loop?’

‘She hasn’t reached that ending yet.’

‘But for her sake, you’ve already lived through your own ending over and over again.’

But the little light sphere couldn’t offer any better advice.

It wasn’t the type skilled at deep thinking.

If it had a human brain, it would probably be a very slow one, more like a pure observer.

Neither of them was the type to think things through carefully.

And in this place, there was no one else to give the girl guidance.

Seeing the girl about to stand up again, the little light sphere knew she had no idea what to do and was just going to rush through that door to start over yet again.

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So it quickly spoke up. “You… can you tell me why you’re so determined to save her? There are other important people in your life too, right? Your parents, your brother.”

Perhaps because it had struck a chord, the girl, who had been about to stand, slowly sat back down.

For once, a faint smile appeared on her lips. “How do I put it? The difference between Tao-Tao and my brother or parents is that she always kept me in her sight.

“My parents are just ordinary farmers from the village.

“Dad was always busy working in the fields, eating and drinking in a rush. He rarely talked to me and wasn’t good at expressing himself. Sometimes, when he came back from the market, he’d bring me little gifts. I could feel his love, but… I could never get any closer to him.

“Because Dad was just too busy.

“Mom worked at a factory. After coming home from work, she’d eat dinner and then spend the evening helping Dad. When the dry season came, she’d have to go to the fields in the middle of the night to channel water into the land, guarding it all night to make sure no one stole our water.

“Occasionally, Mom would hug me and say sorry, but in their minds, they probably thought working harder would give me a better life.

“Mostly when I was little, since my brother was the eldest son, my parents’ attention was mostly on him. It wasn’t until later, when my brother became rebellious, that they started paying more attention to me. But by then, I already had Tao-Tao.

“My brother was really good at fighting. If anyone bullied me, he’d definitely beat them up. But boys will be boys… he was always mischievous, loved catching fish and shrimp, and back when he didn’t know any better, he often made me cry.

“My family was good to me, but… sometimes I still felt like I was alone.”

Her words carried a hint of happiness, but also a sense of helplessness about her family.

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They were already giving everything just to survive. Even though their love for her was hidden in every little part of life, it wasn’t something a young girl could easily understand.

She continued, “Because I was sickly, people in the village always called me the family’s bad luck charm, saying I cost them money every year for medical treatment.

“At school, I was always bullied. After I told my brother once, he beat up everyone who bullied me. But in the end, one of them almost had their leg broken, our family had to pay a lot of money, and my brother almost got expelled.

“I felt like I’d caused trouble for my family, so after that, I didn’t dare say anything when I was bullied.

“Gradually, I got used to it.

“It was always like that. If anyone helped me, they’d end up in trouble because of me.

“That feeling of being bullied, with no one in the whole world reaching out to you, was awful. There were so many times I thought, maybe I should just die. Then my family wouldn’t have to spend money on my treatment. They could use it all for my brother, send him to better schools, give him a better education.

“Mom and Dad wouldn’t be criticized by the villagers anymore. They could wear better clothes and even save a lot on rice.

“And a bad luck charm like me wouldn’t be a burden to anyone else.

“But then, just as those thoughts were growing stronger and stronger… she appeared.”

The girl’s lips curled into a sweet, happy smile. “The new transfer student… my… white moonlight.”