Cannon Fodder – Chapter 82 – The Closed Loop of Yandere

“I…I’m the yandere?!”

Su Tao’s hand holding the phone trembled uncontrollably.

At that moment, a white light flashed outside the dark window. A lightning bolt illuminated the entire world, but the delayed thunder never came. That thunderclap resonated within Su Tao’s heart.

Before she could say anything, Dr. Cheng’s tone suddenly became cheerful, “Of course, I was just joking. After chatting with you for half a month, I understand your personality. How could you possibly be a yandere?”

“Don’t be too nervous.” Dr. Cheng continued, her tone no longer as oppressive as before. “If what you told me earlier was true, you probably already know, right?

“The reason why your friend became a yandere, and why you are the target of her yandere tendencies.”

She didn’t even need Dr. Cheng to remind her further. Su Tao’s mind had already followed this line of thought to complete the final piece of the puzzle.

Looking back to that very first afternoon.

That confusing, incomprehensible, and unwilling-to-recall basement.

Chi Xiaocheng, as if gone mad, screamed at her.

—You kept telling me that I was your most precious friend, your most important person, your favorite person! —Since you said all that to me, why did you betray me?! —Ye Liang, Si Chen, Dongfang Yang… You already have me, why do you still like them?! —Tao-Tao, isn’t having just me enough?

Back then, Su Tao couldn’t understand why Chi Xiaocheng would say such things.

She simply assumed it was the result of her unfriendly sisters filling her head with wrong ideas, leading her astray.

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But now, recalling it all and with Dr. Cheng’s guidance, she gradually understood. Xiaocheng said those things… because of her!

Yet, Su Tao was only a few months older than Chi Xiaocheng. How much more could she possibly understand?

Both of them had once been clueless and ignorant.

All along, Su Tao had only seen Chi Xiaocheng as her closest friend, a younger sister who lacked a sense of security and needed encouragement and care.

She had never once considered Xiaocheng’s perspective when reflecting on her own careless words.

Only when the clouds part can one see the dawn.

The logic didn’t collapse. The lingering doubts and entanglements of the past finally formed a closed loop at this moment.

“So it was because of me that Xiaocheng became a yandere.” Su Tao murmured softly.

“And after Xiaocheng became a yandere, I feared her, was terrified of her, even thought of running away and abandoning her completely….”

Her thoughts became clear, but her brain began to feel starved of oxygen. A tidal wave of guilt and self-blame drowned Su Tao’s heart.

Word by word, she forced out, “All along… it’s been me who wronged Xiaocheng….”

Meanwhile, Chi Xiaocheng, holding the phone and listening to these murmurs, smiled eerily yet contentedly. Gently, she extended a lifeline.

“Miss Peach, there’s still a chance to make things right.”

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Su Tao snapped back to attention and urgently asked Dr. Cheng, “Is there really still a way to fix this?”

Dr. Cheng replied with a teasing yet gentle and mature tone that was reassuring, “Right now, we’re just helping you sort out your thoughts and understand the situation. Whether it can be fixed is a topic for later.”

Su Tao pressed anxiously, “Then… what should I do?”

But Dr. Cheng didn’t interfere further, instead saying slowly, “What you do next isn’t for me to decide. It depends on your own actions.”

‘It’s the unknown choices and actions that will bring the real surprises, Tao-Tao~’

Dr. Cheng continued, “At the same time, going back to the earlier topic… after ruling out sending her to a psychiatric hospital, the only thing you can do now is accept her.

“Also, now that you’ve sorted out your own feelings, will you still be as afraid of her as before when facing her?”

“I…” Su Tao exhaled softly. “It’s all my fault that Xiaocheng became like this. I’ll take responsibility. Even if this hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t abandon her.

“But Dr. Cheng, do you have any other methods to relieve stress and anxiety?” Su Tao pressed. “I know I have to take responsibility, but Xiaocheng’s yandere behavior still makes my heart race sometimes.”

“For your issue, what you really need is a listener,” Dr. Cheng said slowly. “Preferably someone like me, a stranger online you can talk to comfortably.

“Of course, a trustworthy friend in real life works too, but make sure your friend doesn’t find out.

“Alternatively, nowadays it’s popular to find activity partners. You could find someone who shares your hobbies to enjoy them together while chatting.”

Su Tao hesitated. “Uh… I don’t really have any hobbies.”

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“Then find one,” Dr. Cheng said. “Watch anime together, play games, casually chat over voice calls, anything works. Exercise can also relieve stress, but in your case, having someone to talk to would be better.”

“Okay, I’ll try.”

Su Tao noted this down seriously.

Then she asked, “Dr. Cheng, how should I face Xiaocheng? I… don’t really know where to start.”

“Just act as usual,” Dr. Cheng said with a laugh. “A yandere is very well-behaved when not provoked. But I think you could also try to enjoy it a little.”

“Enjoy it?”

“Yep. Since you can’t resist, why not try to enjoy the process of ‘treatment’? Remember what I said?”

Dr. Cheng’s laughter was enticing.

“The love of a yandere is one of a kind.”

Su Tao said hesitantly, “But… I’m just pretending to like her. Enjoying something like this feels really….”

“This doesn’t conflict with you pretending to like her,” Dr. Cheng interrupted. “It’s a process. But ultimately, it depends on you. Just remember one thing, try to accept what you dislike.”

Su Tao murmured in confusion, “Accept what I dislike?”

“Yes,” Dr. Cheng nodded. “You’re afraid of your friend and want to escape. If you don’t even try to accept her flaws, to accept what you dislike about her, then to her, it’s as if no one is standing by her side.

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“This is very important for her ‘treatment’!”

Hearing the word “important” from Dr. Cheng for the first time, Su Tao nodded solemnly. “I understand, Dr. Cheng. Thank you for your guidance today!”

Dr. Cheng acknowledged, “No need to thank me. Like I said, as doctors, we often use this method to help patients sort out their thoughts. At most, I can spare some time to chat with you. I can’t do much more than that.”

Of course, as a psychologist, while helping sort out thoughts… one can also guide them.

‘Tao-Tao, how can you ever escape my grasp?’

‘Am I, Xiaocheng, not adorable enough? Do you really not like me?’

The call ended.

Su Tao let out a long sigh. Now that she understood what she needed to do and how she felt, the weight in her heart had lightened considerably.

Recalling Dr. Cheng’s words, Su Tao murmured thoughtfully, “Try to accept what I dislike… That way, Xiaocheng will be happy….”

She didn’t dislike Chi Xiaocheng. She was just afraid of her yandere tendencies. So what exactly did she “dislike”?

As she pondered, Su Tao suddenly thought of something. Slowly, she turned her head and looked at the half-finished glass from yesterday….

…of orange juice.