Chapter 7: Destiny

Chapter 7:
Destiny

 

“YOU PAWNED YOUR KID OFF on our parents?!” I groaned.

“Y-yeah. I mean, they insisted I couldn’t raise her by myself. Can you believe it? So cruel…”

“That’s not cruel at all! In fact, that was probably the best thing for my niece. I’m actually kind of relieved. They did the right thing.”

We lounged in the reception room, reminiscing as siblings who’d shared a past life. Don’t get me wrong: I wasn’t the least bit happy about this. My own flesh and blood was the one who’d made a mess of this world, same as the last. If anything, I wanted to cry. One positive: I got to hear what had happened to my parents following my death.

“What was the last thing you remember before you reincarnated here?” I asked her.

“Um, well, my boyfriend beat me. I remember thinking it was getting particularly bad, but by the time I realized what was happening, I was here in this world.” She poked out her tongue as if to say, Tee hee!

Annoyed—was she really going to joke about that?—I pointed my gun at her.

She jumped back, both hands in the air. “C’mon, Bubby, I really did do my bestest!”

“Shut up! And don’t use a cutesy word like ‘bestest’ when you’re practically a grandma! You’re making my skin crawl.”

“That’s rich coming from you, you turd! That means you’re a grandpa inside there, too!”

And what about our parents? Ugh, it did pain me that we had no idea what had happened after…

“Anyway,” I said, because hoo boy, I needed to change the subject, “you’re going to have to work with Livia.”

“Uh, did you hit your head? I’m on a one-way track to execution right now.”

I snorted. “You sure are. But you have some time before you die. You can at least take things seriously and not run away from the problems you created.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “But I don’t want to die! Save me, Bubby!”

Turd, big brother, bubby—she sure had a lot of names for me. If only she had as much respect.

Then Marie started genuinely sobbing. “Plus, I—I don’t wanna fight that monster again. I refuse to be part of this war!”

“Excuse me? The whole reason all this got so messed up was because you made yourself the Saint. Suck it up and get on the damn airship. All you have to do is be support for Livia.”

She blinked up at me through the tears streaming down her face. “Why her? I’m the one you should be saving!” With that, she ran and burst out the door.

“Urgh, moron!”

Her timing couldn’t have been any worse. The moment she was gone, Minister Bernard entered. “Viscount, our preparations are complete. Please join me in the audience chamber.”

So many people had fled the palace, even a minister was running all over with errands. I couldn’t add to his burdens any further. I gave up and followed him.

Marie still pissed me off, but now I was torn. How should I handle the situation?

 

***

 

Marie raced down the hall.

Livia watched her from a distance, dumbfounded. “Marie is…running away?”

Angie glared at Marie’s receding figure. “That girl… Does she seriously intend to just leave after coming this far?”

Livia didn’t think it wise to let Angie go after Marie with that menacing look on her face. “Angie, why don’t you go on to the audience chamber? I’ll go after Marie and convince her to help us!”

“Oh, fine.” Angie had been summoned anyway, so she couldn’t very well delay.

It’s an important moment for Leon as well, Livia thought to herself, Angie needs to be there. I’d just be in the way.

She hurried after Marie, dashing down the palace corridor. As she did, tears welled up in her eyes. Marie wasn’t the only one running from her problems. I don’t suit him at all. I knew that from the start. He’s got Angie. So why can’t I let go of him?

Marie had fled to one of the palace’s rooftops, a lush garden with a huge variety of plants—and it was a complete dead end. She had nowhere else to run.

Livia hunched over when she reached it, wheezing as she tried to catch her breath.

As the two of them composed themselves, Marie spoke first. “I’ll give it back.”

“Huh?” Livia tilted her head.

“I’ll give it all back to you, so I want you to return what’s mine, too. All you need is the prince. You can have him, the other boys, and Kyle, too. I’ll even give you the Saint’s title. You can take it all!” Marie shouted. Livia had no idea what she was going on about. “So you do the same. Give me back my big brother. Give Leon back! I’ll return everything I took, so hand him over!”

Livia inhaled. She stepped closer and lifted her right hand, striking Marie across the face. The force sent Marie stumbling to the ground.

Marie pressed a hand over her swollen cheek and smiled weakly. “Ah, this brings back memories. My parents used to hit me like this. It really stings. So, what? Are you angry? Don’t worry. I said I’d give it all back. Now you can be happy.”

Tears rolled down Livia’s cheeks, and she collapsed to her knees.

Marie stared at her, utterly bewildered.

“Leon isn’t an object,” said Livia. “I just wanted to be with him while he was still at the academy. I don’t need anything else!”

Leon was a noble and Livia a commoner. The difference in their status might as well be an unscalable wall. Sure, a similar wall separated Leon and Angie as well, but it was nowhere near as insurmountable. The two of them suited each other. Livia wanted them to be happy together. She had to be the one to give up and bow out.

“So don’t tell me to give him back,” she whispered. “Leon doesn’t even…belong to me in the first place.”

Marie dropped her gaze and laughed. “So what, then? That means I’ve really lost it all? This sucks. This was my second chance at life, but all I’ve done is lose everything.” She burst into tears, as well, burying her face in her hands as she sobbed. “I knew everything. I thought it would go well for me. Why can’t I be happy?”

Livia watched helplessly, unsure of what to say.

“So this is where you were?” a familiar voice cut in.

“Lady Marie!”

Kyle and Carla hurried to Marie’s side. The two of them had been searching for her. Marie lifted her face, and they looked at her worriedly.

“You guys…why?” Marie blurted. Her brows furrowed, clearly wondering, Why are you two here?

“I-I really would be alone without you, Lady Marie,” Carla cried. “I was so happy when you reached your hand out to save me! And you really are very kind.”

Kyle gave Carla a sidelong glance, a bit embarrassed. “Part of it is my fault, but you still went too far. I guess we’re even, though. I have no idea what the other five think, but we can’t abandon you. It’d be too pitiful.”

Marie sobbed even harder. “I’m…I’m so sorry! I really am so, so sorry, you two…”

Kyle rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, hiding his own tears. “Well, come on. Fake or not, you are the Saint. You need to at least look the part.”

With Carla and Kyle supporting her, Marie managed to stand up. The two bowed their heads toward Livia and escorted Marie back inside the palace.

Alone, Livia dropped her gaze to the ground and laughed. “Liar. You haven’t lost everything. You have two people at your side. You’re not the one who’s all alone. I’m…” The words tumbled out, and when she realized what she was saying, she slapped her hands over her mouth.

Her heart swelled with darkness, and fresh tears sprang up at the corners of her eyes.

I’m the one who really won’t have anything left.

***

 

Angie stood at the entrance to the rooftop garden. She didn’t even glance at the others as they passed. Her eyes were fixed on Livia, a few steps away, crying by herself.

“Livia… Of course. You and Leon were always together.” Angie’s heart ached. She’d realized Livia’s feelings before, but the three of them always had so much fun together that she’d turned her eyes from the truth. “I’m sorry. If I hadn’t fallen for him, too, you wouldn’t be suffering like this right now. Please forgive me, Livia.”

Angie pressed her hand over her mouth as the tears came pouring out. She hastily wiped them away and started forward. “Livia!”

Livia tried to hide her face and play it off. “Angie? Uh, um…Marie already went back inside. Please, um, don’t look at my face right now. A lot happened, and…”

Angie sucked in a breath before blurting, “I love Leon.”

Livia snapped her mouth shut and stared down at the ground. Fresh tears fell toward the pavement.

“And,” Angie continued, “that’s why I don’t want you to pull back.”

“Huh?”

Angie held out a hand and helped Livia back to her feet. Facing her, Angie clasped both of Livia’s hands. “You’re fine the way you are. Make sure to tell Leon how you feel.”

“I-I already told him once. He played it off right after and wouldn’t give me an answer. Because he already has feelings for you.”

Angie shook her head. “Even so! Even if you don’t feel confident, tell him again. This time we’ll make sure he can’t run away. We won’t let him play it off either. I’m going to tell him how I feel, so you do the same.” She threw her arms around Livia, hugging the crying girl close.

“Are you sure? I mean, you two are nobility…”

“Idiot. Status has nothing to do with this. If that was all there was to it, we wouldn’t be suffering in the first place. So there’s nothing left for us to do but confess, right?” Angie’s voice was gentle as she added, “You’re important to me, too. So dry up those tears.”

Livia looped her arms around Angie and squeezed, nodding. “Okay.”

 

***

 

I scanned the audience chamber, but there was no sign of Angie and Livia.

Crap. This is kinda disheartening.

The five idiots were here at least, but they’d been horribly distracted since Marie blew up at them.

There they go, moping over their stupid infatuation while I’m over here seriously trying to figure out how to use real love to get us out of this situation!

My plan to use the love between Marie and her reverse harem was up in flames. I needed a love strong enough to beat the principality’s Giant! I needed the love to end all loves! The strongest weapon in the game! Where was I going to find a love like that? It wasn’t just going to fall out of nowhere and land in my lap.

Come on, idiot brigade, we’re in real trouble here!

An assembly of nobles, knights, and civil and military officials lined the edge of the room in neat rows. His Majesty wore a lopsided, enigmatic grin, seemingly in a better mood than usual.

“There are definitely a lot fewer people here this time,” said the king.

Many of the knights and nobles had fled. We even had a dearth of soldiers, evidence of how hopeless the upcoming battle seemed. If I were just a common soldier, I would have run, too. Those left were either truly bold or had resolved to accept their fate.

“Nonetheless, those who have remained are true heroes!” the king went on. “Those principality cowards command a horde of monsters as they advance on our capital. Gentlemen, now is the time to put your lives on the line! To face off with our enemy, we must unite. Viscount Bartfort, step forward!”

I made my way down the red carpet and took a knee in front of His Majesty, bowing my head.

“Given the danger of our predicament, I hereby appoint you commander-in-chief. There are those here who would belittle you for your youth. I’m sure there are also those who distrust your lack of experience. However, only you possess the power to lead us to victory. Tell me, Viscount Bartfort, can you win?”

He said it so theatrically, like lines from a movie. Not that I disapproved. There was something appealing about the drama of it all. So I used a line I’d heard somewhere before: “If that is what Your Majesty desires, yes.”

The crowd broke out into whispers.

“How dare a little runt like him…”

“Tsk, his words may be proper, but that’s all he has going for him.”

“Hmm, I’ll give him seventy points for that reply.”

“I feel like I’ve heard that line somewhere before…”

I’m embarrassed enough as it is, so you can keep your commentary to yourself! See, even the king looks pissed off! Wait…why does he look pissed off?

“I see, then.” Queen Mylene’s cheeks flushed. She looked happy for some reason? But why?

His Majesty continued, “Then with Viscount Bartfort as our commander-in-chief, we go forth to battle!”

A noble in extravagant dress—Marquess Frampton—rose to protest. He had heavy bags under his eyes, and his face was gaunt.

Well, that’s not surprising. He sent out all those troops thinking the principality was his ally only for them to decimate our forces.

“Please, wait, Your Majesty! We cannot put our faith in an upstart like this. He was arrested for betraying the kingdom! And you’re asking us to fight under his command? Are you mocking us?”

Other nobles chimed in.

“He’s right. We should try negotiating with them first.”

“Please, leave the matter to me. I swear I will find a way to settle things with them.”

“Relying on the viscount would be an irreversible mistake!”

I stood and looked up at the king and queen. His Majesty just closed his eyes.

Meanwhile, Queen Mylene maintained a poker face as she declared, “Enough, this is shameful! The viscount is no traitor. We established his crimes were fabrications. Moreover, His Majesty appointed the viscount. Do you intend to oppose your king?”

In other words, they were using the power of the king’s position to force the other nobles to accept my new appointment—or else. It was reckless, but we had no other choice.

Just as understandably, Marquess Frampton was desperate to resist the decision even so. If I really did become commander-in-chief, he knew that was the end for him. “Preposterous!” he said, face reddened with anger. “Queen or not, this behavior is unbecoming! Under no circumstance can we nobles fight under these conditions.”

I slowly turned my gaze toward the marquess, slipping a hand into my pocket. From it, I produced the handgun from earlier…

…and fired a shot at the ceiling. The echo of the blast was followed by the hollow clink of the empty shell falling to the floor.

At my signal, Duke Redgrave’s knights surrounded the marquess. I glanced at Mr. Vince, and he nodded. I had his permission to proceed. It was my time to shine.

“Shut your filthy mouth, you reeking pile of garbage,” I spat.

More guards swarmed forward, moving to arrest the nobles who had protested my appointment. In other words, Marquess Frampton’s faction.

“Wh-what?!” the marquess spluttered. “Guards! What is the meaning of this? Take this upstart away with all haste—wh-what are you doing?”

“You conspired with the principality to bring disaster on the kingdom. I’m not going to be arrested for treachery. You are.”

The guards bound the marquess’s arms and brought him to me.

“E-enough of this nonsense,” the marquess howled. “How dare you call me a traitor? I have only ever acted in the best interest of the kingdom! What would a child like you know?!”

“Hate to break it to ya, but this kid beat you. Oh, I won’t argue that I’m not young and inexperienced. But if middle-aged pillars of this country can’t outwit me, then you’re done for.”

You stepped right into my trap.

That said, I did empathize. They hadn’t lost to me alone. Really, they’d lost to Luxion. Without him, I stood no chance. But if I really think about it, I wouldn’t have been caught up in this power struggle if I hadn’t met Luxion. I shook my head. Oh well. No sense dwelling on it.

“And what proof do you have of this so-called conspiracy? Your Majesty! This is a mistake. Please, don’t let this vermin sway you with his falsehoods!”

The king didn’t respond. He merely sat there, staring down at us all.

Infuriated by His Majesty’s inaction, the marquess pinned the queen with a glare. “This is your doing, isn’t it? You’re a cancer in this palace!”

He had some nerve speaking such disrespect.

“Marquess Frampton, how unsightly.” Her Majesty gave him a pitying look. “You’ve lost.”

He thrashed about, refusing to concede. “You have absolutely no proof of your accusations. I warn you, the heavens will punish you for this heinous act!”

The other nobles in his faction kicked up a fuss as well. Meanwhile, anyone not on his side either lacked all sympathy or was too confused to react.

This guy sure doesn’t know when to give up. Amusing… I guess I’ll play with him a bit.

“You want proof that badly?” I asked.

As I did, Luxion slipped out of the shadows and projected a three-dimensional video in the middle of the chamber floor. It displayed the marquess as well as his supporters.

There was a wave of shock in the crowd, but I raised my voice. “It really is too bad! I’m a nice person, so I was willing to forgive you if you agreed to fight alongside us, but you’ve let your last chance slip away, marquess.”

Okay, that was a lie. Me, forgive him? Pfft, no.

“Wh-what are you talking about? Your Majesty! Please, stop this man. He has dared bring a gun into the audience chamber! He’s dangerous, you cannot let him run unchecked! Don’t allow yourself to be pulled in by his deception!”

Then the video began to play, and the recording drowned him out.

“Marquess! I just got word that the queen is recommending Bartfort be appointed commander-in-chief!”

“How pathetic, allowing herself to be cajoled by that lowlife. No matter how capable she seems, she’s like every other female. His Majesty is an embarrassment for ever conceding to her whims. …Still, I didn’t think the principality would break our agreement.”

“We’ve lost many of our comrades. What should we do now?”

“Use Princess Hertrude as a bargaining chip. They must want her and the Magic Flute. Don’t forget to push the other factions to favor our agreement with the principality. And don’t let Bartfort get out of this alive. We might not have anticipated the principality’s secret weapon, but Bartfort is no less dangerous. If necessary, we’ll offer them the king’s life as reparations to the principality—or to the people, if they demand consequences.”

In other words, they had planned to make His Majesty their scapegoat. If that’s not sedition, I don’t know what is.

In the audience chamber, Marquess Frampton blanched at his own recording. “I-It’s a lie! Complete nonsense! This is just some illusion he’s conjured. He’s trying to lure us into a trap!”

I pressed the barrel of my gun against the marquess’s forehead and smiled. “Are you an idiot? I’ve got you and your men in cuffs. The king and queen would never let me do all this if that were the only proof I had. Know why they’re standing by and watching? The evidence I have is overwhelming.” I took a letter from my pocket and threw it to the floor.

The marquess’s eyes widened, and his entire body quivered. “H-how? I-I swear I burned that.”

I didn’t stop with the one. I had a number of letters, all in the marquess’s handwriting, all correspondence with the principality. Luxion had done a good job copying his penmanship.

“Oh, and I have a message from Princess Hertrude as well. ‘You were surprisingly useless,’ she said. She was more than happy to share all the little details of your conversations.”

Hertrude had already finished her business with Marquess Frampton, so she’d been willing to cooperate and spilled everything. From her perspective, the principality’s victory was assured. Watching the kingdom bicker among themselves over who’d betrayed who was just icing on the cake for her. She probably thought we’d tear ourselves apart.

What a troublesome princess.

Marquess Frampton’s face turned beet red. “That little witch!” he hissed.

The video continued to play, and in the recording, the marquess frowned.

“They’re all clueless! The Saint may be a nuisance, but we can handle her. Bartfort is a different matter! He’s as deadly as an entire fleet! Do they not understand what it means for him to take out ten vessels by himself?”

“But right now, isn’t our problem the principality? We should cooperate with Duke Redgrave, and—”

“No. Pit Bartfort against him and have them destroy each other. Take Bartfort House as hostages. I don’t care how you do it! Listen to me. You cannot underestimate him. He’s no mere guard dog. His airship needs only a single crewman to pilot it. Do you know what that means? He’s the real danger here!”

“Y-yes, but what we need right now—”

“Vince, that fool, what is he thinking?! If he lets that runt do whatever he likes, it will spell the end of the kingdom. Even if he beats the principality, what will it be for? We must crush Bartfort. We must get rid of him, no matter what!”

I snorted. Kinda makes you feel sorry for me, doesn’t it, how he treats me like a terrifying monster?

If Marquess Frampton hadn’t interfered, I would have had no reason to move against him.

Huh. Come to think of it, hadn’t his group been operating behind the scenes in the game, too? It was thanks to them that the protagonist managed to gain prominence and rise up, right? Well, no sense in thinking about that now.

“All right,” I said, signaling Luxion to cut off the video. “Now do you understand? It’s your fault the kingdom is in this mess. Even you must realize you were straight-up traitors.”

“We were not,” Marquess Frampton snapped. “We did what we did for the good of the country. Who do you think has supported this nation until now? Me! I held everything together! What would vermin like you know?! I’ve only done what was necessary to let the kingdom survive!”

“But you landed us here, didn’t you? Your judgment’s way off. I wasn’t the real threat. It was the principality. If you’d dealt with them as you should have—”

“Ridiculous! You’re an ignorant child—do you even understand how much power you hold right now? You’ll destroy this kingdom, mark my words! Open your eyes, everyone! This brat will bring disaster to your door!”

Oh, come on, you’re giving me way too much credit.

I laughed. “Uh, no. The thing threatening to destroy the country right now is the principality. And you set them up to demolish the kingdom before I ever had a chance. Sorry, Gramps, you bungled this. You think you screwed us because you’re senile, maybe?”

He thrashed about, yanking at his bonds. “You brat! You know nothing! I’ve worked myself to the bone for this country!”

“You undermined an asset of the kingdom—me—and, again, the principality? Baying at our door? Your fault.”

“Everything would have worked out perfectly if you had just died! We don’t need your power. We could have won without it! The only reason the king and queen sit on their thrones is because of the work I did! I won’t allow a pipsqueak like you to deny my sacrifices. You’re nothing!”

“I think you have the wrong idea. I recognize everything you’ve done. I have no doubt you spent years doing an admirable job supporting this country. Yes, well done!” I gestured with animation. “You have my respect! You’re incredible!”

Everyone gaped at me.

I dropped my hands and turned my gun on Marquess Frampton once more. “But now that you’ve failed,” I said, voice low, “you need to take responsibility for your actions.”

“F-failed?!”

“How many times do I have to say it? You caused this war. You left us vulnerable. So you need to take the blame. That’s your job.”

“I-I’m a marquess!”

“Great, cool. Quite the impressive title. And it means you’re in the perfect position to be held accountable. Don’t worry, you’re lucky—you have a successor like me. I’ll fix everything you screwed up.” I grinned. Your real mistake was pissing me off.

“And what can you do, runt? You talk big, but—”

“You still don’t get it? Let me spell it out. You lost. Now we’re going to sacrifice you and your coconspirators for the good of the country. You tried to make a pawn of me for personal gain. Heck, I’m not even mad—not about that. I just want you to own up to it.”

“Wh-what do you—”

“Let’s be honest, this isn’t the first time you’ve stepped on the weak to do your so-called job. How many people have you and your cronies crushed for the sake of power?”

He sneered. “Necessary sacrifices! What’s wrong with that? You’re so useless. You don’t understand the political world at all!”

I almost wanted to compliment him for how well he played his role. Sacrifice the few to save many. What a truly wonderful principle! Sure, the world didn’t look favorably on that idea, but I couldn’t dismiss it out of hand. “Gramps, I already told you, I’m not discounting your resumé. In fact, I agree with your world view. Weaklings should be cut off. Let’s sacrifice a few if it’ll save the majority! And now, I hope, you understand what I’m saying.”

“You basta—what are you—gurgh!”

I shoved the barrel of the gun into his mouth. “You don’t have to talk anymore, weakling. Accept that you and your faction are the losers who need to be cut off. Be happy you get to offer yourselves up for the rest of us. You’re not going to complain, are you?”

His face went deathly pale, but he shook his head. With the gun in his mouth, he couldn’t speak properly.

“You just told me you sacrificed countless people because it was so ‘necessary’ for the kingdom. You had free rein to do whatever you wanted for the ‘kingdom’s sake.’ Surely you aren’t going to contradict yourself after all of that. Not when it’s your turn to be the sacrifice.”

I slid the muzzle out of his mouth and then slammed my fist into his face. He went flailing back, his nose broken and blood spraying everywhere.

“You can spend the rest of your time atoning for your crimes.” I motioned to the guards. “Take him away.”

“Y-yes, sir!”

Once the traitorous aristocrats were all dragged out, only a few nobles remained. Those involved with the military watched me closely.

“Now that you’re all aware I was falsely accused,” I said, “there are a few things I want to make perfectly clear. For one, I hate all of you. I hate this country. I have to clean up a mess caused by your stupidity, but I expect you to pull your own weight!”

They glared daggers at me. No doubt they had a lot to say, but I didn’t care to hear it. They were at the center of the nation’s politics, weren’t they? What had they been doing this whole time?

Come to think of it, Japan had these same issues. Even so, my previous country was better than Holfort Kingdom. Ugh, I wanted to go back… Life had definitely been easier in my previous world.

“And two, I know you don’t trust me. I don’t trust you either. I’ll keep number three simple—if one of you thinks you can successfully turn the tide, step forward. I’d happily trade places.”

They all averted their gaze. Clearly, they weren’t satisfied with me in command, but none of them were stupid enough to volunteer in my stead. I was no charismatic Prince Julius. Even I’d be pissed if you said someone like me was going to be in charge.

“Finally—follow my orders and we’ll win. If you’re not going to obey me, run away now.” My voice boomed over their outrage. “Throw down your doubt! Understand? Fight and die for me! In return, I’ll save this kingdom!”

 

***

 

After our little pep rally, I cradled my head in my hands, tucked away in a room the palace servants had prepared for me.

“This freakin’ sucks!”

“Isn’t it a bit late for that?” Luxion said, facing me. The two of us were going over materials and resources, determining how to organize the kingdom’s forces. “You volunteered. Although, I suppose I am impressed you said all that. Did you not also underestimate the principality? I suspect if you’d done a better job navigating the prior situation, it would never have come to this.”

“Oh, shut up. Was it really on me to handle that anyway?”

“Well, the lack of turnout in our forces does partly owe itself to your behavior. It really is impressive how you manage to rig the odds against yourself. A sublime talent, even. For that, you have my respect.”

All things considered, this kingdom was done for whether I became commander-in-chief or not. We were short on people—horrifically short.

“The evacuation is our top priority,” I decided. “The nobles who don’t want to fight under me can help clear out the villages and towns in the principality’s path. We need to evacuate the capital, too.”

“And you’re even willing to reduce your already lackluster army? Very well, I will prepare the necessary paperwork.” Luxion turned to a printer-like device he’d prepared and began copying down my orders.

“What’s the situation with the principality’s army?” I asked.

“They continue to encroach, albeit slowly; we still have some time until they arrive.”

I snatched up the printed documents and scribbled my signature on them. “I’m sending your main body into battle as well.”

“Fine, but our communication network is unstable. With a continent between us, I probably won’t be able to contact you. My support capabilities will be reduced to the bare minimum. I recommend against this.”

“Do it anyway.”

“Very well.” He paused. “The marquess was a capable man.”

“Huh?” I looked at him quizzically.

“I commend his ability to identify the real threat. He chose my master over Marie and the principality,” Luxion boasted. “No doubt he knew the lore of the royal family’s ship as well, and considered your similar assets a significant danger to his plans.”

In the game, the protagonist ended up getting her hands on the royal family’s ship, a Lost Item that had played an essential role in the founding of the kingdom. The Partner was the same type of Lost Item, so I couldn’t entirely blame the marquess for being wary.

“Still, if he’d really known what he was doing, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“The same could be said for you, Master. Through me, you possess overwhelming power, and though you desire neither the rank nor the status you’ve acquired, you still threw us into the midst of this mess. You have no right to deride the marquess.”

Ugh. Where in the world had I gone so wrong?

I resigned myself to continuing to sign the paperwork that would make my strategy a reality.

 

***

 

Once that stage of planning was tended to, we headed for a storage area deep below the royal palace. A beautiful white airship lay hidden there, its streamlined shape resembling Luxion’s main body, though its design was far more intricate.

“It’s enormous.”

“Four hundred meters,” Luxion cut in, “which makes it smaller than the Partner.”

“It looks strong, though.”

“It’s nothing compared to the Partner.”

I paused. “Its design is nice.”

“It certainly ignores efficiency and maintenance concerns in favor of extravagance. And it certainly can’t beat the simple and beautiful functionality of the Partner.”

Perhaps Luxion felt a bit competitive.

I surveyed the gathered. Mechanics responsible for servicing the royal family’s ship stood to one side. A disgruntled king stood on the other side, next to an exasperated Queen Mylene. The five jerkheads maintained their silence as Marie awkwardly lurked near them. The only others present were Angie and Livia. Angie was here because of her connection to the royal family, but I had dragged Livia along.

“Your familiar seems to enjoy bragging about your ship,” His Majesty said, his tone barbed.

Cold sweat trickled down my forehead. “Uh, well, he’s a bit of a sore loser. Anyway! Why don’t we go inside? He can make any repairs we need, and we should be able to get the ship in the air.”

“That won’t be possible.”

“Huh?”

His Majesty pointed to a device in front of the ship. A sheet draped over the apparatus, but at the king’s order, the mechanics yanked it away. Beneath was a heart-shaped stage surrounded by a heart-shaped background. It looked entirely out of place.

“When two people who truly love each other stand on the stage, the ship will recognize them as its owner. Only then can its power be wielded. If the ship recognizes no one, the door won’t open.”

I don’t think this was in the game… As far as I knew, the protagonist and her love interest came searching for the ship and it automatically reacted to them.

His Majesty’s voice filled with emotion. “Here we stand, the royal Holfort line, its branch family, Marmoria House, as well as Field House, Arclight House and Seberg House—all descendants of our kingdom’s heroes. It must be fate that you’re all here.”

Ah, pretty sure I heard this in the game.

All five of the love interests had heroic ancestors who had formed an adventuring party prior to the kingdom’s founding. That was why these five, thanks to their bloodlines, were qualified to access the royal family’s ship. There had, however, been a sixth person in the heroes’ party—a female adventurer whose name had been lost to time. As far as I remembered, she was supposed to be Livia’s ancestor.

Pretty sure she was the first Saint or something like that.

I hadn’t really been interested in the story’s lore, so I’d pretty much skipped over those scenes, grumbling, Yeah, yeah. Fate this, fate that. Whatever. Now I regretted not reading it in more depth. It wasn’t like I’d thought at the time, Better cram all the knowledge of this game while I can! You never know, I might reincarnate in this crap world one day.

“The royal family’s ship only recognizes the royal family and the heroic descendants,” the king declared proudly, sniffing at me. “No one else is qualified to take command.”

Does he have something against me? All I did was beat the snot out of his kid and try to seduce his wife. Ah, wait…

“Master,” Luxion whispered, “if I destroyed the door, we could enter the vessel with ease, but I assume we should play along. What do you think?”

Well, seeing as we still needed the love to end all loves to win this stupid game…if we had a device for quantifying people’s feelings, I figured we should use it.

I nodded to Luxion and approached the apparatus. The closer I got, the cornier it looked. The tacky heart-shaped stage thing was downright gauche.

Queen Mylene looked to us, her expression somber. “Are you ready? This device isn’t as innocent as it looks.” Beside her, the king suddenly went quiet. “Well, my king? We should go first to show them how to use it.”

He bobbed his head. “Uh, yeah. I’m sure we’ll be able to move it this time!” He shrank back when she shot him a glare.

The two mounted the stage, coming to stand on either side of a heart with a line running through its middle. The stage began to light up, blue where the king was standing, and red where the queen stood—no, pink? Well, whatever. It was glowing and stuff.

A voice called out, “For the man, twenty-five points! For the woman, fifty-eight points! Too bad!”

Huh…?

Everyone on the floor exchanged confused looks.

Up on the stage, Queen Mylene threw herself at the king and started beating her fists against his chest.

Aw, that’s kinda adorable.

“You liar! Only twenty-five points? What’s up with that? You think I’m some stranger? A mere acquaintance?!”

“Sh-shut up!” he sputtered, absolutely pathetic. “What about you? You only have fifty-eight points! It’s not like you love me either! You know what, fine! Okay? I don’t see you as a woman anymore! What’s wrong with that?!”

The two continued to squabble, and finally, I understood the significance of this contraption.

“So it measures your feelings for each other and reports them?”

Luxion’s eyeball moved up and down, nodding. “Seems almost like a prank device. I managed to remotely access the royal family’s ship and it appears a wealthy couple made it on a whim, though the ship itself was constructed quite some time before my main body. From what I gather, they used it once on a honeymoon before storing it away here.”

That was so bizarre I struggled to respond. Seriously? That’s the reason it was made?

Not that anyone would believe you if you tried to claim this legendary vessel was actually an ancient cruise ship.

“Incidentally, that couple divorced two years later,” Luxion continued.

“I didn’t really need to know that, now did I? Ugh, let’s just get this over with. We know what to do now. Someone just needs to step up to the plate so we can get this ship moving. Hopefully.”

No matter how you tried to spin it, though, Marie’s relationship with her boy toys was fractured beyond repair. The royal family’s vessel would remain useless if we left it up to them.

“It will be effective in battle if you can get it up in the air, that much is clear,” said Luxion. “It’s equipped with multiple armaments, and it’s far more powerful than the other airships of this world. Though it will require some repairs.”

The exterior looked pristine, but no one had ever been able to get inside, so the interior apparently wanted a fair bit of tuning up. It was like a car that had been left sitting for years.

I sighed. “If we can’t find anyone who fits the bill, we’ll destroy the door and go inside. I guess.”

“Very well,” said Luxion, “I’ll send for some repair bots. They will arrive in about ten minutes.”

It would be a godsend if we got the ship to recognize a couple before then. And even if we did break in, the ship required “true love” to fulfill its true potential… Argh! What a mess.

“Marie, come!”

“Huh? What?!”

Prince Julius snatched Marie’s hand and yanked her onto the stage. His parents were still bickering, but he shoved them off to make way. Personally, I would have been shocked to discover my parents didn’t love one another, but His Highness seemed too concerned with Marie to pay them any mind.

Once again, the apparatus powered up and began its measurements. At last, it blurted out the same phrases with new data. “For the man, ninety points! For the woman, seventeen points! What an extremely disappointing result!”

That thing sure couldn’t read the room. I supposed not every AI could be as sophisticated as Luxion.

Marie stared down at her feet. Prince Julius, on the other hand, smiled. Was he relieved to know the truth or something?

“If this is the result…” he said as he turned to her, “I accept it. Marie, allow me to proclaim here and now—one day, I will make you fall in love with me.”

Excuse? He was going to make a woman who had never actually loved him fall for him? That was pretty twisted considering he’d given up Angie for that deceitful jerk.

I glanced at Angie—I wanted to know if she was okay—but her nose had wrinkled in disgust. Well, as long as she wasn’t pissed.

Prince Julius stepped off the platform, leaving Marie behind. Before she could leave, Jilk moved forward to take his place.

“For the man, eighty-nine points! For the woman, twelve points! What a truly tragic outcome.”

Did you really need to add that last bit?!

Marie’s face contorted with discomfort.

“It’s aggravating that I lost to the prince,” Jilk said gently, “but I won’t give up either. Miss Marie, I swear I will make you fall for me.”

“Jilk…”

Greg was the next one on the platform. “Move outta the way. It’s my turn. Marie, now I’m gonna show you how I feel!”

“For the man, ninety-one points! For the woman, twenty-two points! It’s a one-sided love. Give up now.”

Knock it off with the commentary, you’re not helping!

Greg smiled helplessly. “That’s rough. But I feel kinda relieved. Marie, you get how I feel about you, right? I’m not gonna quit here.”

“Greg, um, you know…” she started to say.

“I’m next.” Brad proudly waltzed up and took Greg’s place as he hopped off.

“For the man, ninety-eight points! For the woman, nine points. It’s almost incredible how mismatched your feelings are.”

Stop. I can’t watch this anymore. Mainly because my stomach hurt so bad from trying to hold in my laughter.

“That was the lowest, wasn’t it?” Brad sighed.

“I—I’m sorry, really. But I—”

“That just means the real work starts now. I’m going to aim to be your number one, Marie. We realized, you know. You were just trying to push us away before.”

Oh boy, what have the five of them decided this time?

After switching places with Brad, Chris added, “I admit, we haven’t been very reliable, but…you’re all we have, Marie.”

Uh, no, seriously. There’s a bunch of other girls who want to be with you dummies. Open your eyes.

“For the man, eighty-seven points. For the woman, thirty-one points! Is it just me, or is this woman’s heart stone-cold?”

Marie burst into tears. “No, this is all wrong, everyone. Listen to me!”

Prince Julius approached and took her hand, guiding her off the stage. “We know. It’s sad to admit, but we weren’t able to protect you. It’s no wonder you’re fed up with us. When you needed us the most, we weren’t there for you.”

That is one heck of a misunderstanding. I wish they could have had that same compassion before meeting Marie.

“Don’t worry, Marie. We won’t leave you again.”

“No! I’m telling you guys, listen to me!” Marie tried desperately to be heard. But the boys seemed intent on dismissing her.

I didn’t really care about them and their relationship problems, but I felt like an idiot for ever expecting them to be able to activate the royal family’s ship. What now, though? I scanned the people in the room.

“See the high numbers Julius and the other boys had?” Queen Mylene scolded the king. “When I first met you, you didn’t even have forty points to give me.”

“You expected love from a political marriage? I wanted to marry someone I loved too, you know!”

“You promised me you would raise the number! You swore we’d be able to pilot this thing together and go on adventures someday!”

“I was lying!” he snapped. “Obviously!”

“All you ever do is put on an act! That’s how it’s always been. As long as you get to be the star of the show and soak up all the attention, that’s all that matters! You’re nothing but a big phony!”

Their relationship was pretty clearly beyond salvation. It just went to show it was just as Her Majesty had said: this was no innocent toy. The device had truly devastating effects.

The things she accused the king of were pretty disappointing as well. Not that I hadn’t suspected as much. From the moment I met the guy, I’d thought there was something disingenuous about him.

Actually, I wasn’t ever really deceived. I definitely saw through him!

But while I wanted to protect the country, I couldn’t do anything about the king and queen’s personal relationship. I turned to Livia and Angie, who’d been standing quietly by.

“Eh, you know how it is,” I said. “Love is complex. Well, I guess we better get back. We can just leave the rest to Luxion… Hey, what are you two doing?”

The two of them latched onto my arms, one on each side. Normally, it wouldn’t have been half-bad—they were both beautiful—but they dragged me toward the platform. And they were a lot stronger than I’d anticipated.

“Wait! Please, seriously, wait! I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna get up on that corny stage!” I shook my head and struggled, but they hauled me toward it anyway.

“Leon, please just get up there!”

“We’re going to settle this once and for all. You keep dodging the topic, but if we use this device, you won’t be able to lie about your feelings!”

“No! This kinda thing is only fun when you’re watching. I definitely don’t want to participate! I don’t have the mental strength. I’m delicate. If the results are bad, I won’t be able to take it!”

I’d only been able to laugh at the guys because I never thought I’d do it!

Angie wanted to “settle things,” which I had no doubt meant the two of them wanted to measure how much I cared about them. If the numbers turned out to be high, it would be embarrassing. Worse, if they turned out to be low, I’d succumb to self-loathing, wondering why my feelings for them were so cheap. It’d be one thing if the results were private, but the stupid device would report the results immediately. Worst case, it would end badly for all of us.

I didn’t want that. I wouldn’t know how to face them anymore.

“Come on, you guys, measuring love with numbers is just weird! It’s wrong!”

Luxion watched me, amused. “So it was fine when other people did it, but you don’t want to? Makes me question your humanity.”

You stupid AI, how dare you betray your master!

“Stop! Seriously, I won’t be able to handle it! And I won’t be able to laugh at the other guys anymore! I just wanted to mock everyone else’s misery without tasting it myself!”

As I shrieked, Prince Julius and the others made their way over to the stage.

The king put a hand on my shoulder and grinned. “Please, it would be boring if you didn’t take part. Besides, your snickering face was pissing me off. Get on the platform!”

With him and the boys pushing me, we made it right to the very edge of the device. I dug my heels in and resisted. Livia and Angie got on the stage, each of them yanking at my arms, trying to drag me up.

“Leon, it will only take a few seconds,” Livia urged.

“Get your butt up here and let’s settle this!” Angie snapped.

Prince Julius and Marie shoved me from behind.

“Bartfort, steel yourself and get it over with!” he cried.

“Yeah, get up there!” she yelled.

“You traitors won’t get away with this! I will remember this day, I swear it! Ah, wait!”

As I tried desperately to fight them off, the stage began flashing pink and blared a musical fanfare. Then the royal family’s ship hummed as the engine came to life, echoing through the room.

“For both girls, one hundred and twenty points! Congratulations! You are tied by bonds of true love!”

Suddenly, everyone released me, and I stumbled back. The only two people on the stage were Angie and Livia.

“Angie…”

“Livia, you…”

They blushed in embarrassment as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Individually, they reached out, looping their hands around each other’s waists. Barely a hair’s breadth remained between them.

“I-I’m so happy,” said Livia.

“Me, too.”

Everyone else stared at them, mouths agape.

“Well, the machine never did discriminate against same-sex couples. I suppose this is one way of doing it,” said Luxion.

I slid to the floor. Honestly, I had kind of expected me and the girls to pull bigger numbers than Marie and her lovers. I’d never thought I’d end up as tragic.

I’d also never realized how Angie and Livia felt, not until I saw how they gazed at one another. I was conflicted—conflicted as hell. They were both gorgeous women and my friends, but I had no idea they were actually into each other, like, that way. Part of me was glad they weren’t both falling for another guy, but another part of me was so sad and disappointed I was on the verge of tears.

“So I really am just a comic relief background character! I guess I never had any hope to begin with, did I?!”

Queen Mylene placed a hand on my shoulder. “Um, look, I don’t really know what to say, but…try not to be too down, okay?”

I burst into tears and fled the scene. “This is too cruel!”

“Leon!” Her Majesty called.