18.

"I'm fine, it's not that hot," I mumbled into the phone. We don't usually talk often, just theoccasional message. Mom calling today gave me a good opportunity to tell her a few things. "I've made a lot of friends, too. Met some Thai people, randomly."

"Thai people studying the same language?"

"No, no. They're friends of friends who are studying the language with me. One of them, his mother owns a Thai restaurant here." I said, glancing up at the hallway ahead. Gia's arm was linked around mine; she was engrossed in her phone.

We were on our way to Rome's room. It wasn't a party today, Gia just invited me to hang out there. Actually, once I got to know a few people there, the atmosphere became much more relaxed than initially. Now, if Gia invites me, I wouldn't refuse anymore.
Just having dinner together once... does that count as being close?

I guess it does, huh?

"It's good you've made friends, but don't speak Thai all the time and neglect your language studies."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I replied flatly. "I'm studying hard, not letting Mom's money go to waste."

"Your dad said he misses you."

Mom's cheerful words silenced me instantly. I'd been trying not to think about it. What I just realized was surprisingly unexpected. I thought Dad would be angry with me for much longer, at least six months or more. He's never liked gay people; I knew that well. But I confessed anyway because I thought P'Phim was worth the risk.

"I miss him, too," I replied, simply. A sharp sting on my cheek flashed into my thoughts. The resentment subsided, but it didn't completely disappear.

"And how are your housemates? Are they nice?"

"Yes, very nice. They're all amazing. I can't compare."

"Really? You're living with quite a few people, then?"

"Three or four. There's Jasper, but he studies art at another university, so he comes and goes, doesn't sleep over every night. Two girls, Audrey and Hazel, and another guy, Anwar, he studies fashion…" As soon as the last name left my mouth, my brain flashed an image reflected in a mirror. Heat rushed to my face. Just as I was about to change the subject, Mom interrupted.

"Wow, fashion! That's cool. He sounds really stylish, right?"

"Yes… he is stylish," and handsome, and seems very capable. "Mom, I'm almost at my friend's place. I'll Line you later."

"Okay, honey. Take care of yourself."

"Love you, Mom." I said and hung up, glancing at Gia, who looked up and smiled broadly.

"I really like it when you speak Thai. It sounds so… soft and sweet."

We walked for a few more minutes, the familiar building was right in front of us. Chen, Rome, and Cole were standing together. Only Chen was on his phone, not smoking like the other two.

"Hey," Gia threw herself into Rome's arms. Her lips pressed against his cheek as Rome put his arms around her slender waist.

"My love," he murmured.

"Blue," Chen greeted me. He put his phone in his pants pocket and made way for me to stand closer, as I nodded to everyone in the group.

"What's up?" They were talking about a small concert by an acquaintance that had just been cancelled. I didn't know the guy, so I just listened quietly until Chen leaned closer.

"Bored? Let's go upstairs. I'll will take you."

"Aren't you smoking with your friends?"

"If I'm going to smoke, I can do it upstairs," he smiled, turned to tell everyone, and started walking into the building. "Besides, I'm not that interested in Jan Dunbar's concert anyway.

His music is kind of… boring."

"The guy they were talking about?"

"Yeah, Jan Dunbar. A bit indie rock, I guess. Slow and high-pitched." Chen made a face
and took long strides, quickly climbing the stairs.

"What kind of music do you like, Chen?"

"I like… um… The Vaccines… The Last Shadow Puppets. Do you know them?" When I shook my head, he continued, "The latter's singer is the same as Arctic Monkeys, Alex Turner. But, they haven't released much music lately."

"I'll check them out," I mentally noted the names, although I had heard of Arctic Monkeys before – it was a favorite band of Seo and Gus, my close friends.

"What kind of music do you usually listen to?"

"I listen to a lot of different things, like Lenny Kravitz, Daniel Caesar, that kind of stuff. Do you listen to them?"

"I do, but I'm not a huge fan. For that kind of music, you'd have to ask Alice," Chen shook his head slightly before pushing open a door. The room was messier than I'd ever seen it. He quickly said that Rome was in the middle of a heavy reading period, explaining the scattered papers and textbooks all over the sofa.

"Where do you live?" I hopped over the books on the floor, collapsed onto the sofa, and watched Chen bend down to gather them, stacking them haphazardly against the wall before pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pants pocket.

"Want one?" He offered me the pack. I pulled a Marlboro Red from the white and gold box.

Chen lit his own cigarette before holding the lighter out for me, then sat down opposite me.

"My parents' house is in Chelsea. The restaurant is there too. Want to go?"

"I'd feel bad, I'd be a nuisance. Do you usually get a lot of customers?" I shook my head, lighting my cigarette.

"It's seasonal. Come on! My mom likes it when Thai kids come to eat at the restaurant, especially those who miss Thai food."

I laughed, pulling the cigarette away to examine it. It tasted oddly bland and weak, unlike Anwar's cigarettes, which had a cool, lingering taste. This one… I don't know… smooth?

"I do miss Thai food," I raised my other hand and glanced out the window, watching a fat pigeon perched outside. "But I don't want to bother the restaurant. If you're making another one sometime, call me."

"You're staying with Anwar?"

"Huh?" I turned to look at him. He took a last, deep drag of his cigarette before crushing it in the ashtray. His eyes flicked down to his phone, then back up to me.

"Oh, right… I was looking for apartments online, and there was one available in the building."

"Jordan's room?"

"Yeah, yeah. You know Jordan too?" Chen raised an eyebrow slightly, leaning back against the sofa and slowly rubbing his neck, looking thoughtful.

"Of course. I knew Jordan before I knew Anwar. We used to hang out there a lot. Jordan and I played basketball together."

"I see," it felt like a small, interconnected circle of friends.

"And everyone else is still the same, right? Ruby, Hazel, and Jasper?" He listed them off. It seemed that the frequent visits he mentioned weren't an exaggeration. I'd almost forgotten about Ruby, having only met her once at Audrey's birthday party.
"They're all still there. But we don't see Ruby much. It seems like she had a fight with Hazel. I don't know if they've made up yet."

"They broke up?" Chen's casual question made my eyes widen. Images of the two of them at the party flooded back into my mind.

"You mean… they were dating…?"

"Yeah, Ruby and Hazel were dating, and they shared a room." Chen looked at me in
surprise, prompting a quiet acknowledgment from me. I'd never considered that they were a couple, and no one in the building had mentioned it. But it wasn't that surprising; I didn't talk to Hazel that often, and knew very little about her personal life. Hazel seemed far less open
about her personal life than Audrey or Jasper.

"If it's the same group, there shouldn't be any problems."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been used for their cooking many times before. If Blue wants Thai food, I can make some for you at home."

..

..

"I need to deliver something to a friend first. I'll be right back," Audrey showed me two books. "Jasper will be back soon. I think he'll want to eat. Hazel went out with Ruby; I don't know when they'll be back."

"And Anwar?"

"Oh, he's been holed up in his room since he arrived. Seems like he's got a lot of work," she whispered the last part, smiled broadly, and said goodbye, not forgetting to emphasize that she'd be back soon.

I looked down at the clock on my phone, then back up at the closed door. I walked over and knocked lightly. Anwar opened the door a few seconds later. His hair was slightly messy, his brows furrowed slightly. He raised his eyebrows, his expression shifting when he saw me.

"What is it?"

"Are you free to talk? I wanted to ask something," I began. Seeing him let go of the doorknob and seem attentive, I continued, "Chen's going to make Thai food today. I wanted to ask if he could come over."

"Chen?" Anwar's face showed surprise for a moment. "Chen from the Rome group?"

"Yeah."

"He’s coming here to cook?"

"Uh-huh."

Anwar narrowed his eyes, but nodded slightly. "Sure. This is your home too."

"Okay, I'll text Chen then," I tried to read his expression, but Anwar dismissed it with a blank face. "He really can come, right?"

I didn't know if Anwar was protective of his home. Some people are very private, barely letting anyone into their house or apartment unless they're very close. Besides, I'm just a renter; I don't actually own the place.

"He can definitely come. You can invite any friends anytime; you don't need to ask me first.

Besides, Jasper might be really happy to have Chen's cooking tonight."

"Are you going to eat with us?" I asked. Anwar was silent, seeming to hesitate. He glanced back into his room before turning back to meet my gaze.

"Just knock when he arrives."

Time flew by. About half an hour later, Jasper came home. When I told him about Chen, his eyes lit up, and he went to flop onto the large sofa, playing with the cat while arguing with me about the menu to request from Chen. Just as Chen texted that he had arrived, I went to knock on Anwar's door.

"I'll finish my work and come out," the tall figure had a serious expression. He must have been really busy, just as Audrey said.
"If I'm bothering you, you can just keep working. Or, if you actually want to eat with us, we can call you again when it's ready," I whispered in Thai, quietly, because Jasper was lounging behind me.

"I'll finish my work and come out," he repeated, glancing past my shoulder at Jasper before gently placing his hand on my head, stroking it softly, and giving me one last smile before closing the door.

A wave of shyness washed over me as soon as I received that touch. I averted my gaze,
thinking that Jasper probably hadn't seen him do that.

"Jasper, I'll go down to get Chen!"

..

..

"Hi."

"Haven't seen you around here in ages," Jasper nodded slightly, looking up at Chen who was placing bags of ingredients on the counter.

"I told you to wrap things up and come back quickly. Don't tell me you've found yourself a girl there and decided to stay," Chen smirked, glancing at me as I went to help unpack the groceries.

"How much is this, Chen? I'll pay."

"It's okay, these are from the restaurant anyway. The staff would have taken them home otherwise. But how many people are we cooking for today?"

"Maybe five."

"Let's have dumplings! I've been craving dumplings for days," Jasper said, sitting on a tall bar stool, his fingers idly sifting through the various bags. "Or that dish, the one with the orange sauce and big prawns?"

"Oh, that's good, since I brought prawns," Chen nodded. "Blue, anything you'd particularly like?"

"I... um, I had Tom Yum Goong just now, right? If we make Tod Mun Goong (prawn cakes), will that be too many prawns, Chen?"

"No, if you want it we can make it. Otherwise, I'll make some pork and egg dishes to mix things up."

"Okay, then." After agreeing, Jasper excused himself to chat with a friend who had stopped by downstairs. While Chen began unpacking the ingredients, his pretty eyes looked at me standing nearby before he softly asked:

"I'm hiring; are you interested in a job?" I chuckled softly.

"Then I'll apply."

"Come on."

"Um, Chen, seriously, I can pay you. You're making so many dishes," I took the water
spinach and started washing. The more I thought about it, the more apologetic I felt. I wanted to give something back, not just let him cook for free. It wasn't the same as when he cooked in his own room and I happened to be there by chance.

"It's really okay," he refused, chuckling softly. "Or, if you really feel bad, how about you treat me in return?"

"Treat you to dinner?"

"Not dinner. I make my own meals every day," He shook his head. "How about a movie? Popcorn, nachos, burger rings, and a movie ticket."

"Okay!" I quickly agreed.

First, because it sounded fun. I'd never been to a movie theater in New York, and I didn't know if I'd understand everything since there wouldn't be Thai subtitles, but I still wanted to try it. Second, going to the movies with him was good; I wanted to get closer to Chen.

"So, Chen, what movie do you want to see?"

From then on, we spent our time discussing our preferred movie genres. It was funny that someone like Chen was most afraid of horror movies, while I enjoyed watching them. We agreed that comedies might be the perfect middle ground, or if I wanted to see a horror movie, a slasher film was still better than one with ghosts.

"When I was a kid, I was so scared whenever my feet stuck out from under the covers, afraid something would grab them," I recounted my childhood memory while trying to wrap the prawns in dough.

"Are you still scared now?"

"If I'm not thinking about ghosts before bed, I'm fine. But if I've just watched a scary movie, it's a little spooky, and my feet get a little tingly."

"I've been dealing with ghost movies for a long time, so I don't think about it anymore."

It was a meaningless conversation that flowed smoothly and effortlessly. Before I knew it, my work was done, and I just sat at the bar counter, watching Chen cook with his deft movements until a familiar aroma filled the air. Once the food was ready, Jasper, looking disgruntled, came up to the second floor. He muttered a few curses at his friend before going to shower to relieve his frustration.

"Blue, try it. Is it too spicy?" He turned back holding a bowl of Tom Yum soup.

As I leaned in to blow on it before taking a sip, a noise came from behind. Chen looked towards the source of the sound while still holding the bowl for me.

"Hey."

"Hey." Anwar greeted casually, a small smile at the corner of his lips as he approached.

"Cooking so far away, huh?"

Chen smiled at the teasing remark and turned back to me.

"So, how is it? Too spicy?"

"I can't handle much spice, but I think this is okay." As soon as I said that, Chen nodded and turned back to the stove. He chatted with Anwar about Jordan intermittently at first, further reinforcing what Chen said was true—he was close to Jordan, and everyone else seemed to just be tagging along.

Soon, Jasper emerged from his room in a fresh outfit, and Audrey arrived just as we had started eating about ten minutes earlier. The atmosphere at the table was relaxed. Mostly Audrey and Jasper did most of the talking, occasionally throwing questions to everyone else. Chen listened with a faint smile, as was his way.

Just like me, I barely speak unless someone asks me a question.

I was aware of Anwar's gaze on me from time to time, making my heart race every time I accidentally looked up and our eyes met.

I always looked away first.

And every time I secretly glanced up, I always saw a small smile at the corner of his perfectly shaped mouth.

When the food on the table was finished, Chen excused himself because he had business to attend to. Audrey had to rush to her part-time job, and Jasper had a skateboarding appointment, leaving only Anwar and me.

"You don't need to do that. I've already called the housekeeper to come in tomorrow morning," he gently held my hand as I was about to wash the dishes. "Are you sleepy?"

"Not really."

"Want to come hang out in my room?"

"Aren't you busy with work?" I suppressed the slight excitement that welled up because I didn't want to bother him if he was busy.

"I'm not busy anymore. I'm almost finished cleaning up."

"I won't bother you, right?" I asked again, unsure of my facial expression. Suddenly, Anwar chuckled softly and moved his face closer.

"I'm the one inviting you, how could you bother me?" His warm lips brushed my temple, all the way to my ear. "Come on. Go shower, smell nice, then come down to find me."

The implication of his words made my face flush instantly.

"What are we going to do?" I wanted him to give a soft answer, like playing games or
watching a movie, anything to make my visit to his room less embarrassing.

"What do you want to do? Netflix, or we can just chill. Or, if you're not tired, wait until I finish work and let me… take care of you?" He smirked, almost going in the direction of helping me feel less awkward.

"You!" I was speechless. I had considered the possibility of things going further, but I didn't expect him to say it so directly.

"Yes?" Anwar raised an eyebrow, his expression sparkling, making me the one to give in.

"Let's think about it later."

Half an hour has passed.

But the nervous excitement hadn't faded. Scrolling through my phone to distract myself didn't help.

I took a deep breath, trying to summon courage. At least, this wasn't the first time I was standing here in front of his door, weighing which side of the door to knock on.

Knock knock knock

I looked down at my black shirt and trousers as I waited. When Anwar opened the door, I saw that he had just showered too. His tall frame was clad only in light gray pyjama bottoms, his upper body bare, revealing his perfectly toned physique.

He stepped aside to let me in, revealing a much messier room than usual.

A pile of fabric lay scattered in the corner of the room. A dress form was pulled out, draped with white raw fabric and needles. Rolls of paper and unfolded sheets lay on the table and the floor, making me hesitant to step anywhere for fear of accidentally stepping on something.

"You can walk around. The floor isn't in use. And don't worry about the needles; they're only on the dress form," he said, closing the door. He quickly grabbed a white t-shirt, put it on, and sat down on a large office chair.

"Okay."

"Let me just tidy up a bit."

"Can I help clean up? The stuff on the floor?" I glanced down at the papers that were marked and cut into pieces. Anwar looked surprised, then nodded slightly.

"The cleaning lady will come in tomorrow anyway. Just tidy up the area where you'll be sitting."

"Nothing here is being used, right? The paper and fabric scraps?"

"Yes, you can put them in a bag." I nodded as Anwar turned back to his drawing on the table.

I started collecting the trash and putting it in a bag. The R&B music Anwar had playing filled the silence between us. As I picked up the last piece of paper, the previously messy room looked much better.

"What about these books?" I asked, stopping beside his desk where a stack of thick fashion books sat. "Should I put them away?"

"No, it's okay. Leave them there."

"Then I'll take a look," I softly requested, sitting down on the floor. I had nothing else to do while I waited. Just sitting idly felt strangely pressuring.

Anwar didn't say anything else; he returned to his work. I flipped through the books leisurely.

One was a collection of past One Way runway shows. Another showcased hundreds of variations of the same bag design, each with a different color and pattern.

It was amazing. I wondered what went through the minds of designers who created these things.

I flipped through the pages until I felt a gaze on me. The scratching of the pencil stopped.

When I looked up, our eyes met.

"Finished?"

"Mm-hmm." He nodded. That short response left me speechless.

"Was the food good today?" I was taken aback by the seemingly random question. After I nodded, Anwar continued, "Are you close to Chen?"

"I guess so," I replied. We'd only met less than five times, and had only had a few longer conversations. But if closeness was measured by comfort level rather than number of encounters, I’d guess we were close. "And you? Are you close to Chen?"

"He is close to Jordan," he replied. "So we see each other often."

So, they're probably close. If I were to answer that way.

"Do you like him?"

My heart pounded. My brain tried to dismiss the sudden thought. Anwar's question made me consider something improbable.

"Yes, I do. I want to be closer to Chen."

"More than you like me?" I froze. My eyes met Anwar's steady gaze. Once again, I tried to interpret his expression and the glint in his eyes, knowing full well I never really could.

"Jealous?"

My unexpected boldness surprised even me. Anwar smirked, seeming pleased with my response, or perhaps just enjoying this kind of playful banter.

"And if I am, what then?"

Jealous… I’d never considered Anwar and that word together. Maybe it was just a teasing question, a test. Maybe he was just going along with it.

"If you are jealous," I repeated, trying to slow my racing heart. My mind scrambled for a response that would please him, before a thought struck me. My fingers lightly touched his strong thigh, gently nudging him until I sat perfectly between his legs.

I shifted, glancing at his reaction before suppressing my shyness. Anwar’s expression emboldened me. My lips brushed against his thigh, through the soft fabric of his pants.

I couldn't deny the good feeling his words evoked, whether genuine or not.

"If I make you jealous today… should I hand in my homework?"

"Let's see how diligently it's done," Anwar said, slowly stroking my cheek, down to my lips.

He kissed me gently, his warm fingertip playfully tracing my tongue and teeth before he pulled back.

He picked up a small ice cube from his coffee cup and placed it on my tongue, leaving a faint coffee taste.

I let it melt in my mouth before leaning up to kiss his thigh, moving higher and higher. When I sensed him hesitate, a thought struck me, causing me to pull back.

"But you weren't really jealous, were you?" He wasn't really jealous. Not at all. "So I don't have to hand in the homework, right?"

I smiled, my eyes meeting his as a look of surprise briefly flashed across his face. He then rested both arms on his strong lap, and I rested my chin on them. Anwar smelled of soap; a clean, fresh scent, almost like his cigarettes.

"How do you know I wasn't really jealous?" he asked softly.

"If you were jealous, you'd have to like me first to be jealous. You don't like me."

He paused, considering this, before gently pushing me off his lap and standing up. He
changed the subject. "What do you want to do today? Watch a movie, play games, make out, or shall I really do you?"

Again, my heart skipped a beat at just one sentence. Anwar offered a small, sly smile at my question, extending a hand to pull me up.

"Ah," I gasped softly as he lifted me onto his large desk. The sound was swallowed as his lips crushed against mine, replacing the lingering coolness of the ice on my tongue with burning warmth.

"Mmm…" He playfully sucked on my lower lip, his tongue slowly pressing against mine. As he started to pull away, I found myself captivated by the kiss, tilting my head to lightly nibble on his lower lip in return, eliciting a satisfied expression.

"So, what do we do? What do you want?"

After a kiss like that, saying I wanted to watch a movie would probably be too much of a lie.

Actually, I'd already made up my mind in the shower that we'd probably do something, or I'd just hand in his homework as I said earlier.

I wasn't worried about any of it – not about liking him, not liking him, doing it or not doing it.

Nothing was in my head except the nervousness that was bubbling up inside me. It was more like overwhelming excitement that made me act the way I did.
If a kiss felt good, if a touch made me forget all the confusing thoughts in my head…
Why wouldn't I want to do it again and again?

"So… can I kiss you?"

"Sure," he grinned widely. "On the desk or on the bed?"

"On the desk."

Anwar nodded slightly, leaning in until I could feel his warm breath. "A kiss on the mouth, or somewhere else?"

He seemed to be enjoying this question-and-answer game immensely. His beautiful eyes sparkled as he steadily gazed at my face.

Feeling flustered and slightly teased, I stopped answering his embarrassing questions and leaned down to kiss him. Our lips met softly, and Anwar let me control the pace. He simply moved his hands around my waist and back, while I started to reach up and touch his face, holding it gently as he often did to me. His skin was warm against my cold fingertips, it felt so
good that I unconsciously stroked his face, eventually resting my hand at the nape of his neck.

Anwar kissed me several more times, sucking hard, almost playfully biting.

"Can I kiss you somewhere else?"

"Mmm," I nodded quickly, feeling incredibly shy and unsure of where to put my hands. I closed my eyes, avoiding his gaze, becoming aware only of his lips pressing against the
hollow of my neck, briefly sucking before moving to a nearby spot, repeating the action around my neck.

It was incredibly embarrassing.

It was like he was tasting something… He wasn't kissing me hard or aggressively, but he was nibbling and tracing my skin with the tip of his nose.

Feeling my face flush, I automatically raised my hands to cover my cheeks. I heard a soft murmur from him before my body was lifted from the desk.

Anwar followed, immediately pressing kisses to my neck as he laid me on the soft bed. His strong arms held me beneath him, making me acutely aware of how much bigger he was.

His fingers brushed against the hem of my shirt, and I heard his low voice whispering in my ear, asking permission. Only after I nodded did he slowly slide his hands higher, lifting my shirt.

I held my breath, torn between closing my eyes and looking at him. I wanted to see what he would do next.

"Mmm," I tensed my stomach as he nibbled and sucked my skin. I heard him sigh softly before showering kisses across my stomach.

I didn't know why I liked it—was it the light touches he was leaving everywhere, or the
nervous energy he was trying to suppress, maintaining a calm expression?

"Should we take off our shirts?"

That's what I asked.

Anwar froze. He licked his lips, looking deeply into my eyes. I should have known from the start that the question was like offering myself up.

And there was no way he would refuse.

"Take it off."

Our eyes met.

I pursed my lips, trying to maintain a calm expression like his, even though my cheeks were probably burning. I used my fingertips to unbutton my shirt, one button at a time, then opened it to reveal my chest.

Anwar didn't immediately lean down. Instead, he lifted himself up and fiercely kissed me, alternating between hard and soft. His tongue playfully tangled with mine until I was breathless. His hands caressed my waist and gently kneaded my flat stomach.

"Mm, uh… you…" I flinched when his kisses trailed lower, stopping at my chest. His lips
parted, encompassing my nipple, sucking and pulling until my body convulsed
uncontrollably.

Seeing my response seemed to embolden Anwar. He wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me closer and continuing to caress me relentlessly.

I gasped for air, my toes curling into the soft bed sheets as I unconsciously held my
discarded shirt in my hand.

Anwar chuckled softly, tracing circles around my now-hardened nipple. "Feeling that much, huh?:

"It…" My answer trailed off because he suddenly ground his fingers against me, pressing my back into the bed. Anwar laughed brightly, his beautiful brown eyes sparkling before he roughly tossed his own t-shirt aside.

"It might be a strange compliment, but has anyone ever told you that you’re fucking adorable in bed?" he murmured softly, pressing his body against mine and kissing me passionately until my lips burned.

"N-never."

My mind went blank. Anwar's words echoed in my head like a scratched CD.

"How did your ex put up with that? He never asked to have sex with you?"

I tried to recall P'Phim, but my mind seemed fixated on the strong body straddling me and all the sensations I'd just experienced.

"He did," I took a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. "But it felt scary, and I didn't want to do it with him. I was curious about what it would be like, but I was still afraid."

Anwar raised an eyebrow slightly. "And now? Still scared?"

A little, to be honest. A faint trace of fear remained.

But the thought of doing it with Anwar made that fear insignificant compared to what I felt with P'Phim. It wasn't even comparable. Maybe it was because I liked his touch, maybe because he made everything that happened before seem less frightening and more enjoyable.

It made me crave him, and want to do more things with him.

"..." I shook my head in response. "With you, I wouldn't be as scared."

"Kitten, really?" Anwar chuckled softly, although his eyes shone with intense heat. "Why do you think it would be okay with me?"

"Because you're good at it," Anwar looked surprised that I said it so frankly, as I wrapped my arms around his warm neck. "Because you're attentive, because you can be gentle."

Because he made me feel like melting butter, just from his gaze and a small smile at the corner of his mouth.

Don't even get me started on his touch and kisses. Those two things made my head spin, making me want him to kiss me again and again.

"Want to try?"

He asked softly, loosely wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Today?" I paused, then took a breath to answer. I knew a little about what to do before sex, and I hadn't done any of it.
And I hadn't mentally prepared myself for that either.

"Yes?" Anwar acted like a kind teacher, ready to listen to any request from a student.

"Can we do something... without penetration?"

A small smile appeared at the corner of his mouth. Anwar nodded, making me blush so intensely I almost burst. He bit my soft earlobe lightly and whispered hoarsely, "Can you take off your pants?" I pursed my lips, but I obediently followed his instructions. As my trousers slid down my
hips, Anwar helped pull them off my legs. He pressed my legs together against his chest, spreading them before inserting himself between them. His hands kneaded my thighs hard, as if my flesh was just dough.

My stomach churned. The closeness of our bodies, almost completely naked, was a
different level of excitement and pressure than when we were clothed.

Anwar scanned my body with his eyes. He pulled my hand to his strong abdomen. He
squeezed the base of my thigh before pulling it to rub against his hard side. When I tried to mimic his actions by squeezing his stomach in return, his brows furrowed as my nails scraped against his skin instead of a gentle touch.

He looked like he wanted to squeeze me thoroughly, then slammed a kiss on me, hard, sucking until I heard the sounds of saliva in the quiet.

"You..."

Bang! Bang!

"Hey! Are you done working yet!?"

A loud banging on the door and Jasper's voice sent my heart plummeting to my feet. My whole body froze, especially after hearing his next shouted words through the door.

"This is boring. I'm coming in. My Taylor gang's calling me for a skate session. Come on, let's play games!"

"Not yet!" Anwar shouted loudly.

He seemed to regain his composure before me. The hands that had been kneading me a moment ago quickly pulled up my pants and shirt. He grabbed a thick blanket and covered me up to my neck. He turned on the TV, cranking up the volume, and then quickly got off the bed, grabbed his shirt from the floor, threw it on, and went to the door.

Jasper stood there, his gaze sweeping the room and meeting mine as I remained frozen in place.

"What took you so long? What were you doing?" His curt question was full of suspicion before his eyes moved past Anwar to the large television. "Watching a runway show?"

I immediately followed his gaze and saw a lingerie runway show with beautiful, slender models parading.

"I dropped my needle near the door," Anwar lied with a straight face. "Not skateboarding. Go back to your room."

"What room? You guys are still watching something together! Don't be so mean to your best friend. Come on, let's play some games."

Anwar looked back at me.

He looked irritated. There was a spark in his beautiful eyes, and I sensed it clearly.

Irritated because he was interrupted?

"I just finished a sub-project today. Let me de-stress with my friends... or maybe we can watch that runway show too."

"Let's play games," Anwar immediately retorted. "Go wait outside. I need to use the bathroom."

"Then I'll play with Blue while waiting..."

"Go wait outside. Blue has a stomachache," Anwar quickly grabbed Jasper's shoulder, gently pushing the thin man towards the sofa outside.

Once the door closed, he stood still, his lips pursed, meeting my gaze in silence.

"I'm sorry."

"For what...?" I asked, my heart still pounding so hard it felt like it might burst. Anwar let out a long sigh, then sat down beside the bed. "Were you irritated?"

He didn't answer, only his gaze intensified.
"Because Jasper came in."

"That guy and Jordan are used to coming and going from this room like it's their own." He chuckled softly, pulling back the blanket and kissing my bare shoulder. I hadn't buttoned up yet, leaving it open and easily accessible.

"You made me almost crazy, and then some random idiot comes and interrupts. Answer me, wasn't it irritating?" his deep voice murmured against my skin.

I clutched the blanket tighter, lowering my gaze to Anwar who buried his face in my shoulder. Then, he leaned in and kissed my earlobe softly.

"Let's go play games, and next time..."

"..."

"We can do it in your room instead.”