27.

warning: 🔞

We'd only slept a few hours, but we were jolted awake by Blue's ear-splitting alarm clock.Blue groggily hit the snooze button three times before I finally pulled him out of bed. It wasMonday, he had classes, and I needed to get back to work. No matter how much time I had,it never felt like enough... for the project I was currently working on.

"What do you want to eat?" I pushed open the door, letting him lead the way. The familiarscent of his soap faintly reached my nose, slightly improving my mood.

"I don't know. Maybe get a sandwich, or maybe..." His sleepy voice trailed off. When Ilooked up, I met the gaze of someone standing silently on the sofa. Jasper raised aneyebrow. He stared at us both, unblinking, before speaking.

"Good morning."

"Hey," I nodded, as Blue mumbled a similar greeting and started to avoid Jasper's gaze."Long time no see, Jasper. Heh heh."

He was clearly trying to act normal, completely unaware of how far from normal the situationactually was.

"It has been. So long, I didn't know what's been happening around here. You moved to thisfloor?" Jasper smiled slightly, glancing at Blue, who had walked away to the counter. "Whyare you leaving his room this early in the morning?"

"Oh, um..."

"I invited him to play Battlefield last night, and we fell asleep," I interjected. Looking at Blue,I saw his face was flushed, but he tried to hide it by pretending to be interested in his glassof water.

"Okay, I get it," Jasper grinned, tossing his blue bucket hat onto the sofa before floppingdown beside it. "I was planning on playing Battlefield until it's time for the board game thisafternoon."

Silence stretched for several seconds. I sighed. We'd been friends for so long; just looking atJasper's face, I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I should go. See you this evening."

"See you this evening," I replied. Jasper nodded. We both remained still, watching until Bluedisappeared down the stairs, then waited until we heard the first-floor door close.

"Is it really true? What I've been thinking... what I've thought all along?" Jasper turned to methe moment we were alone.

"What have you been thinking?"

"Isn't that your shirt he was wearing just now? And no matter how much he tried to distancehimself, I could still smell the same scent as yours that's right here... Anwar?" I met Jasper'sgaze. I felt his startled reaction was excessive, but I didn't argue.

"How long has it been going on?"

"A couple of weeks."

"Damn it, Anwar. Why did you do that?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"He's your mother's best friend's son, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that a pretty big reason why you shouldn't be doing that with him?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not playing with him," I countered, as he openly displayedhis disbelief. "Why? Are you going to warning him to stay away from me, like you did withJamie?"

"Are you guys dating?"

"No."

"In love?"

"..." I faltered. That single, short word was like a sharp arrow piercing my forehead. When Iremained silent, Jasper chuckled softly.

"You know why I talked to Jamie like that. Back then you said you might be in love withJamie, but it didn't work out. And Blue... he's not the same type as Kit, or anyone elseyou've had something with, right? And now, he's a friend to me, a friend to everyone here. Idon't think Audrey or Hazel would appreciate you hurting Blue. I don't want to see Blue endup like Jamie did back then either."

Jamie's face flashed in my mind. He was a freshman at the same university as Jasper. We'dmet by chance because he'd come to help Jasper with something here. It was a vague,short-lived relationship, only about two months.

It was as Jasper said... I hadn't intended to hurt Jamie back then. I liked him, thought he wascute. It was a stronger feeling than what I'd had with Bella at the start. So I thought maybe Icould fall in love with Jamie. And Jamie had ignored Jasper's warnings.

"You'll hurt him. Don't let it go beyond a friendship, or a junior-senior relationship," I laughed,remembering Jasper saying that. I'd thought it was ridiculous back then, thought I couldreally fall for Jamie... but I didn't.

"I'm not trying to hurt him. That wasn't my intention," The same phrase, echoing from thatmemory, escaped my lips as I felt myself becoming more and more foolish by the second.I never truly intended to hurt Jamie, just as I never intended to hurt Blue.

But I can't deny that I messed up. Not once, but twice.

"So what is it then?"

"Just let me handle this myself." Jamie's face flickered alongside Blue's behind my eyelids. Isighed. The harder I tried to push through the murkiness and move forward, the more Irealized I couldn't see anything at all.

"I really like him. This time."

Jasper glanced at me one last time before turning back to the television screen, engrossedin a Battlefield game.

"Yeah, well, I'm not the one who'll have a problem. You know... your mother will rip you apartif she finds out you made Blue cry."

"I'll let Blue do it himself then, if I really hurt him."






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Blue's pov:


I carried the crunchy snacks I'd just bought and a book Chen had lent me. We'd talked aboutit over text, and he'd sent it via Rome through Gia, as promised. The first thing I saw when Iwent upstairs was Phoebe, clutching a stuffed mouse, running up to the third floor. Anwarfollowed, sitting quietly on the sofa, looking lost in thought. His eyes were fixed on thetelevision, but the action movie on screen seemed to be completely escaping his attention.My return did the same.

Even when I put all my things down on the bar and approached Anwar, he remainedoblivious. Only when I called out softly did his eyelids flutter, before his eyes met mine.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hmm? Nothing," he denied flatly, furrowing his brows slightly. "I'm just thinking about work.""Must be pretty stressful," I slumped onto the sofa.

"It is... because I don't know if what I'm doing is right."

"Is there right and wrong in art or fashion?" I asked stupidly. I seemed to recall many people,including my high school art teacher, constantly saying that there's no right or wrong in art.

Anwar laughed at that. "Maybe there's no right or wrong, but there's still failed, messyartwork."

"Isn't that good? It sounds like abstract art, kinda abstract, right... I really don't knowanything about this stuff," I finally gave up, forcing myself to talk. The more I tried to discussthings I didn't understand, the more I felt like a complete idiot.

"No, not at all. Sometimes abstract work isn't bad at all, it's just difficult to understandsometimes," Anwar smiled slightly. I didn't know what he was thinking, or what his opinionwas of what I'd said, but wanting to end the discussion about art, I chose to remain silentand change the subject.

"Aren't you going anywhere today?"

"I need to finish this work. My photoshoot schedule's coming up soon. Want to go toNorthern Ireland?"

"Northern Ireland? You have a photoshoot there?"

"Yes. If you're a fan of Game of Thrones, I think you'd like it. There are scenes filmedthere." Although he said that, his voice lacked any excitement or attempt to sell the trip. Hesounded rather listless when talking about it.

"So, can I go?" I asked again for confirmation. "Won't I bother you while you're working?"

Anwar shook his head slightly, glancing at me appraisingly before moving to sit on the samesofa as me and then lying down on my lap. The weight shifting onto me made me have toreadjust my posture. Anwar's face, so close that I could have easily kissed him, gave me astrange, fluttery feeling in my chest.

"Hmm... how much could you possibly bother me? It's just a regular photoshoot. I don'tknow. If you want, after work we could rent a car and go sightseeing. Have you ever been toNorthern Ireland before?"

"Never. How long until you have to go for the shoot?"

"I'm not sure, but probably around next month. It shouldn't be more than a month." My handwas gently caught and brought to his lips. Warm breath brushed lightly against my skin,following the rhythm of his breathing.

I pursed my lips. A pleasant feeling began to build in my stomach, making my limbs feelawkward and clumsy.

Seeing his handsome face upside down like this... I couldn't look away and abandoned myattempts to do so, instead looking back at him directly.

"If you come with me, it'll probably be less boring."

"Or it might be even more boring," I countered. I'm not a fun, cheerful person. I don't haveJasper's humor, Hazel's charm, or Audrey's ability to brighten the world. Maybe I'm theworst possible choice out of everyone living here to be a travel companion to makesomething less boring.

"Why do you say that? I enjoy being with you."

"I'm boring."

"Boring people really do talk like that," Anwar stared intently at me before opening his mouthand gently biting my hand. "It's strange that it doesn't make you seem any more boring, justbecause you say the same things."

I smiled softly, feeling my heart swell. Then, I leaned down until my nose touched his."You've fallen for me, haven't you?" It was just teasing, but I deliberately made myself soundconfident.

Anwar chuckled, raising a hand to gently stroke my cheek before moving it to rest behind myneck. "I've been falling for a while now. Did you just realize?"

That simple, nonchalant reply made it seem even more like a lie. I didn't think Anwar wasentirely serious, but the answer still made me smile broadly.

"It's a shame. I'm not sure if I'll still be here when you go to Northern Ireland. Even if I am, Iprobably won't be able to go. I don't have a Northern Ireland visa, and I don't have the samecitizenship as you."

Anwar's hand paused for a fraction of a second. He slowly lowered his hand and looked atme with a more serious expression. "When are you going back?"

"I haven't booked my return ticket yet, but probably no later than mid-August..."

"Next month?" Anwar's voice was flat, his expression mirroring it.

"Next month," As I mentioned my return date, I realized for the first time how little time I hadleft to live here. In this short time, just a single breath, the rope is about to run out without meeven noticing.

We fell silent. Suddenly, everything became eerily quiet until Anwar blinked, turning his faceaway and resting his cheek against the pyjamas pants I was wearing.

He looked like someone trying to make a decision or pondering something. Maybe it hadnothing to do with me. Anwar often seemed lost in his thoughts about work and projects.People in the art industry are probably like that, almost all of them. I was trying to think ofsomething too, after realizing that time was running out. A hollow, unsettling feeling began tooverwhelm everything else.

Trying to think of something amidst the growing emptiness.

"I have something to confess," I began, breaking the silence. When Anwar turned to look atme, I took a deep breath and continued, "Thinking about going back to Thailand and seeingP'Phim makes me realize something. It seems like the memories I share with him aremaking me feel this way."

I pondered my own words in my head, trying to phrase them so they wouldn't sound absurdor make me seem strange.

"I don't like seeing you with other people. It's uncomfortable..." The moment those wordsslipped out, I immediately observed Anwar's reaction. Seeing that he remained still, I quicklycontinued to prevent the atmosphere from turning sour, "I'm just saying that P'Phim'sinvolvement might affect me this way. I never meant to be childish or angry with you, but Ican't help the discomfort I feel sometimes."

"Blue, I understand," Anwar replied simply. I tried to keep my expression neutral, especiallywhen he stared at me intently like this. The memory of something I'd seen beforeresurfaced...Anwar with an annoyed expression directed at someone else.

"I know what your ex did to you. It's understandable if you feel that way," Anwar's voice helda reassuring firmness. Something made me drop my guard. The anxiety I felt eased justfrom hearing him say that.

"And I never want you to feel uncomfortable or sad."

That statement was like him extending a bridge to me. It made me hesitate whether to takethat step forward or stop where I was.

But Anwar...Anwar truly has a talent for easing people's worries and getting them to expresstheir needs to him. I realized this from the very beginning of our acquaintance, and I've neverchanged my mind until now.

"I don't know if this is asking too much, perhaps it is," Feeling like things were gettingawkward, I cut myself off.

Anwar shook his head, letting out a short laugh before licking his lips. "Want to try askinganyway?"

"..."

"Perhaps it wouldn't be that difficult, compared to all the time you have left here."

"What if I asked you to spend a lot of time with me, for all the time I have left?" I took a deepbreath, hoping to alleviate the anxiety and discomfort. "What if I said I don't want to see youwith other people because I don't like knowing those things... would you do that for me?"

Anwar hesitated. I immediately sensed this was a terrible idea, but he gently lifted my chinwhen I turned my head away.

"I'll try."

"..."

"I can't promise, but I want you to know one thing."

My heart started pounding at those words.

"Right now, I only want to hug you."

It felt indescribable, to finally get something I'd always told myself was impossible.

"Then do that. Until I go back," I said selfishly, because I was being made to feel like I couldbe selfish.

His beautiful brown eyes blinked slowly, as did the smile that gradually appeared on hisperfectly shaped lips.

"Okay... I'll hug you until you go back."

I pursed my lips, trying to suppress a widening smile as I leaned in again. This time, it was agentle touch of lips to soft lips.

It was the first time I'd kissed him while we were still at odds like this. If I'd known it wouldfeel this good, I would have tried it a long time ago.

"Even if you said it wasn't a promise, I still want to give you a reward."

"I'll go upstairs to get ready..."

I told him that. Anwar let me go back to the bedroom. I spent several tens of minutesshowering, washing off the dust and smoke from being outside. I don't know how I ended upviewing sex as something so commonplace. Before I knew it, I felt familiar with it, familiarenough to be bold enough to speak up, to say what I wanted to try. Anwar looked surprised,but he did nothing more than smile softly and say we'd try it.

"Right now, I only want to hug you." Anwar's words echoed in my mind as I dried myself witha towel and threw myself onto the soft bed.

It felt like millions of butterflies were fluttering in my stomach and chest. I bit my lip. Thesmile I'd been hiding since earlier slowly appeared on my lips. My hand moved down togently touch myself. I took a deep breath to compose myself before moistening my middlefinger and slowly inserting it.

I'd never prepared myself like this before. Anwar always did it, always got my body ready forhim. There was something new I had... because I went to that sex toy shop in Bronx withGia. It was the first time I'd ever set foot in a place like that.

It felt confusing, like the first time I went to a cosmetics store with a female friend. Giaseemed to know a lot more than I did, and only because she promised not to peek while Iwas choosing what I wanted did I dare pick out a few things to pay for.

This is insane.

I'm freaking out.

It didn't take long to get everything ready. I pursed my lips, took one last look at myself in themirror before grabbing a baggy black shirt to quickly put on.

What if Anwar doesn't like it? Or what if something doesn't go as planned? I don't know whatI'd do to fix the situation.

Upstairs, the room wasn't as bright as usual. The curtains were drawn tight, and only a fewsoft, warm lights were on, just enough to see. R&B music played softly. Anwar was sittingon a tall bar stool, one hand holding a glass of liquor. He was still in his smart casual attire;a black-and-white cardigan and light-colored jeans.

Before I could think anything else, his sharp eyes met mine. His expression was calm andunemotional, but his gaze was direct as I approached him. I placed the smooth satin bag onthe counter.

"The downstairs door..."

"It's locked," Anwar replied quickly, his voice husky and low. He reached out, pulling me tostand between his legs, letting out a soft chuckle. "You sure know how to make me gocrazy."

I smiled sheepishly, feeling his fingers touch the base of my leg, moving higher beforepausing as they brushed against my bare skin, devoid of underwear. Anwar paused, hiseyes meeting mine, before trailing his hand higher, lifting my shirt. His beautiful lips curvedinto a small, satisfied smile.

His dark brown eyes darkened as he saw something. The earlier smile morphed into atense one. My body was pushed around to face away.

"What's this?" he asked in a low, soft voice. The polite sentence was at odds with the fingersthat traced across my buttocks. "Someone is being freaky today."

I pursed my lips, my heart pounding rapidly with a mixture of pressure, anxiety, andexcitement.

"Do you like it...?"

Anwar sighed softly, looking at me intently before pushing me away and standing up. Hegrabbed the satin bag. "Let's find out."

With those words, warm lips swiftly captured mine, pressing the strong taste of alcohol intomy mouth. A warm tongue slowly caressed and teased mine. It was a kiss that made melightheaded; I felt nothing but my rapidly beating heart, the pressing of our lips together, andhis arms wrapped around me.

I was gently pushed backward before being forcefully thrown onto my knees on the largesofa. My buttocks received a hard slap that left them burning. I flinched, my mind still tryingto gauge how much he liked what I'd done.

Hot kisses rained down my back, descending lower to my hips. Anwar let out a soft growl,exploring my rounded bottom, then playfully nipping at it, causing goosebumps to rise acrossmy skin.

"Mmm."

I didn't know what Anwar was thinking or feeling at that moment. I heard him let out severallong sighs, sometimes followed by deep breaths and soft curses.

"Lie on your back," he commanded calmly. As soon as I made a move to turn, he quicklypulled me down, his actions impatient. My legs were roughly pulled up until they rested onhis strong shoulders.

I lowered my gaze to watch his handsome face as he explored my white legs, which werealready showing faint red marks from his touch. Anwar created tantalizing sensations beforehis tongue began to slowly lick and trace across my sex, where a white bunny tail plugremained. His fingers pressed deep inside, moving gently in and out, as I began to hold mybreath.

Because lubricant had already been used to insert the bunny plug, his fingers slipped insideeasily.

Anwar used his tongue to lick everywhere, as if my body were a delicious treat. The morehe moved his fingers in and out, rubbing against the silver plug inside me, the more intensethe sensations became, until my mind spun wildly.

"Ah...aaah," I arched my back, gasping for breath as my short legs remained perched on hisbroad shoulders. I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to bear the explicit image between mylegs.

A sharp moan escaped my throat as Anwar began to grip and rotate the round bunny plug."Ah! Aaah!"

"Tell me if it hurts," his low voice murmured, barely a whisper. When I nodded inacknowledgement, Anwar paused, his hand stroking my stomach.

The sofa creaked. I opened my eyes. The excitement that had subsided a moment agosurged again as I saw something I had bought myself.

"Did you know what this is for when you bought it?" Anwar asked, smiling as he liberallyapplied lubricant to the long object with graduated black beads, the largest at the tip,decreasing in size down to the base – six beads in total.

I swallowed hard. Part of me was scared, but another part was intensely curious."No, but I had a pretty good guess."

Anwar chuckled softly at my answer, raising an eyebrow before offering me the long objectwith an increasingly intense and serious gaze.

"Then show me," his husky voice enticed me to take it. Seeing my hesitant awkwardness,he took my hand, guiding it until the black beads were at my entrance. Anwar leaned in,gently sucking on my lips.

"Pleasure yourself for me."

I felt... like my body was about to explode. I was flushed, overwhelmed with heat.Mustering my courage, I pushed it inside. The initial feeling was one of tightness – a hard,foreign object, burning slightly from the lubricant. I felt it pressing against the alreadyinserted bunny plug. The deeper I pushed, the more the silicone beads scraped against mysensitive walls, sending shivers through me; my hand went weak.

I only got it halfway in. Anwar watched my every move like a teacher observing a studenttaking an exam. Unable to push it any further, I began to slowly move it in and out instead.Shivers racked my body. Anwar pushed my hips up, raising my legs to give him a clear viewof what I was doing.

"Ah..." I bit my lip, feeling his kisses rain down on my bare skin. Anwar nibbled and kissedevery inch of me, but never moved closer to my entrance. Sometimes his handsome facewould rise, his mouth engulfing my nipple and sucking, nibbling, until my head swam, allwithout ever touching the toy in my hand.

I dropped the toy, instead grabbing his neck, pulling him down for a passionate, forcefulkiss. Pleasuring myself felt too embarrassing.

"P-please... help me."

"Ask nicely," Anwar's voice was tender, as he began to knead my hips forcefully. "Ask menicely."

"Anwar... help Blue... please... help me... Ah! Aah!" My voice broke mid-sentence as Anwarinserted a finger, gripping the base of the beaded object and pushing it deep inside, elicitinga breathless cry from me.

His fingers dug into the sofa beneath him, a forceful release of his urgency. I couldn't thinkanymore, only feeling the beads impacting, pushing, dragging inside me. My legs werespread wide. Anwar's face was tense, his jaw clenched, before he crashed a deep,passionate kiss onto my lips, stealing my breath away.

My body felt like it was on fire.

Anwar growled low, yanking the toy out quickly. The beads slipped from me, leaving metrembling, tears welling in my eyes. Seeing this, he slammed it back in, hard, then pulled itout again and again, causing me to writhe.

"Ah, Anwar... ugh!"

He pulled me onto his strong lap. He roughly pulled down his pants, pressing his hot bodyagainst my entrance. The wetness between us was undeniable proof of his desire. Theround bunny plug was pulled out and tossed aside. With my entrance empty, I moved myhips, demanding fulfillment.

"Please, Anwar..."

"What do you want me to do?" Anwar whispered hoarsely, tearing open a condom with histeeth before quickly putting it on. "Say it."

I reached out, clinging to him. Feeling the heat of his body pressed against mine, I pressedcloser, forgetting all shyness. And the more satisfied his expression became, the more I letgo of my control.

"Fuck me." I bit my lower lip hard after uttering the words, heat spreading through my earsand face.

Anwar smirked slightly at the corner of his mouth, causing me to gasp again as he quicklylifted me up to stand. I hurriedly wrapped my legs around his slim waist, fearing I might fall.The tall figure took long strides until we reached the bedroom door, slamming my backagainst the hard wall before slowly pushing his large dick inside me.

My thin shirt was carelessly discarded, and once I was completely bare, Anwar loweredhimself to lick my sensitive nipples, leaving them wet and glistening.

"Anwar..." I pressed my chest against him, feeling the strength that held me up, keeping mefrom falling. As Anwar released my mouth, his dick began to move, thrusting in and outrapidly.

"Anwar, I... ah, I..." My mouth hung open in surprise because I had never had sex standingup before. I didn't even know he could go this deep inside me—deeper than usual, makingmy ears ring and my vision spin. The pleasure coursed through me like electricity, shockingevery vertebra along my spine.

"Do you like it?" he asked, teasingly, as he swirled his hips before thrusting deeply into me,causing my whole body to sway.

"I like it... ah, I like it a lot." I gritted my teeth, not knowing how to express the intenseemotions building up inside me, until I unintentionally clawed at his back hard enough thatAnwar let out a sharp gasp by my ear.

"Bunnies don't scratch like this," he teased, making my face flush even hotter. After I madehim feel pain, Anwar began to playfully toss me down.

His strong arms wrapped around my waist just in time, preventing my knees from crashingagainst the floor. He spun me around to face the back of the sofa, lifting one of my legs highbefore his hard body plunged deep inside me.

I bent forward, pressing my forehead and sweat against the soft sofa while clutching a largecushion to my chest, feeling his abs pressing against my back. Our bodies rubbed againsteach other every time Anwar moved. I became weak, losing control of my limbs.My body swayed with each thrust he created, and if Anwar hadn't held my hips in place, Iwould have collapsed to the floor.

"Blue...you're fucking amazing,"

Anwar's voice was soft, distant, almost unreal. I couldn't make out everything he said; theonly sounds I registered were my own ragged moans mixed with his panting breaths."Ah... ugh...haaa..." Our thighs slapped together with a harsh, fleshy sound, not unlike thefriction of his body inside mine.

I was too exhausted to moan out my pleasure; all that came from me were ragged breathsand low, guttural groans.

Anwar nibbled and sucked at my back, hard enough that I worried about welts forming.My toes curled against the cool floor. My face was contorted; the heavy sofa swayedbeneath the force of my grip. I'd never been taken this hard before.

It wasn't painful. Instead, Anwar's passion felt intensely good, overflowing, and I cravedmore.

Anwar murmured my name against my ear. We were both lost in the moment...

I twisted to look at him, even though my chest was pressed against the sofa. His handsomeface was strained, his lower lip caught between his teeth.

Our eyes met, as the pleasure surged, overwhelming. I finally understood what heavenlybliss felt like.

In that instant, something urged me... I wanted to say I loved him. But only a breathlessmoan escaped my lips.

"I... I'm going to... ah... ugh..." I gritted my teeth. Hearing that, Anwar quickly pulled meupright, half-sitting, half-lying on the sofa.

A deep, passionate kiss. His hands explored my body, while his hard length drove deepinside with powerful thrusts.

Waves of pleasure surged, leaving a damp trail across his strong abdomen."Mmm," Anwar held me close, his breathing ragged, his heart pounding against mine. Hisbeing pulsed within me.

A dizzying sense of loss filled me as it all ended too quickly. Anwar leaned in, our foreheadstouching.

His beautiful eyes looked down at me, close up.

"What to do... I want to hold you like this forever. I don't want to let you go."