7.

"About buying clothes, do you want to go today?"

Anwar unexpectedly knocked on my door that morning and asked me that. I wasn't even fully awake; I was still half asleep, unlike him, who was already dressed and ready to go out.

"Okay...are you free?"

"This afternoon? What time do you finish class?" He smiled slightly, setting a time and place after hearing my answer. "Just call me, or ask someone around if you can't find it."

He told me to meet him at his class. I'd never been there before, but I'd passed it often because it's very close to my language school-just a turn around the corner.

How could I possibly get lost?

Class ended quickly. Gia invited me to go shopping with her in another area, but I refused.

She wasn't shopping like she usually did, and I understood the reason immediately upon making eye contact with Rome, who was waiting in front of the institute.

I parted ways with them there and walked straight ahead. The song that had just started in my headphones hadn't even reached the halfway point when my feet stopped in front of Anwar's class building.

It was a large, modern-looking building, strangely intimidating.

I peered through the clear glass windows, seeing people coming and going. I hesitated for almost a minute before deciding to text Anwar.

I'd never contacted him before, even though I had his number, because I'd never had any problems, and I didn't know why I'd need to.

Anwar called back about five minutes later.

"I can't read Thai," was his first sentence, which made me freeze. My face flushed a little with embarrassment, but he didn't scold me or mention it again. "Just wait by the building.

There are places to sit."

"Okay," I replied. He hung up.

I walked back to the corner before turning towards the side of the building he mentioned.

There were small round tables and red chairs. There was only one seat available because the table next to mine had taken all the chairs.

They were chatting casually about some project, critiquing designs, while I stopped paying attention and started looking at pictures on my Instagram instead.

P'Phim really liked the picture Anwar had taken of me, and he liked the outfit I was wearing too.

'So cute,' he commented.

I felt a little guilty because it wasn't actually my outfit.

Soon, Anwar came out with his group of friends. I started to get nervous as they all walked towards me, but my anxiety eased when they started greeting the people at the nearby table.

Only Anwar briefly greeted them before walking straight to me.

"Did you wait long?" he asked. I shook my head.

Suddenly, I realized everyone from the nearby table was looking at us. Anwar turned to introduce me to everyone.

They were Anwar's design school friends. Each one had a distinct style, even those who were simply wearing t-shirts and jeans.

"Let's go," he nodded and started walking ahead. "Are you hungry? Across the street there's a sandwich shop, and behind us are some cafes and French restaurants if you want."

"I'm fine. I already had some bread."

After that, we didn't talk much. Anwar asked about my language studies and offered to help me practice my English while we talked.

He did the same thing as before, letting me choose clothes I liked without worrying about matching them, asking about the colors I wanted, and trying out various styles. While he focused on the styles I'd mentioned liking, he still tried matching various other pieces for me.

I spent a lot of money, but since I don't usually buy things for myself, I had enough savings that I didn't feel too bad about it.

Anwar told me to try to remember my correct clothing sizes. The t-shirts I had before were too large. When I tried on smaller sizes as he suggested, I found that they fit me much better.

"Now you can order online."

"Um...okay."

Several hours flew by. When everything was finished, I realized Anwar looked extremely tired, and I started to feel guilty.

"Are...are you tired? I've been such a bother. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Because I didn't sleep last night."

I guessed it was about school, so I didn't ask any more questions. We went straight home. I also wanted him to rest as soon as possible.

I should have noticed his exhaustion sooner. We could have gone another day; I wasn't in that much of a hurry to wear new clothes.

No one was home. The entire building was silent.

Except for one guest lounging on the sofa, whose haughty expression immediately fixed on us as we reached the second floor.

Kit.

"You're late," Kit frowned before turning to smile and greet me.

"Why are you here?" Anwar muttered, walking straight towards Kit, who stood up.

"Forgot? We have a date today."

I could clearly see that Anwar was extremely tired, even though he tried to hide it afterward.

"You look exhausted," Kit also noticed. He said, gently touching Anwar's cheek.

"Maria's class," Anwar replied briefly.

Kit raised an eyebrow, looking understanding before wrapping his arms around the taller man's neck.

"Come on, I'll give you a massage. How about that...?" He smiled charmingly, his beautiful eyes narrowing slightly before pulling Anwar back into the bedroom.

I felt awkward, like I was out of place, so I quickly gulped down some water and went up to my room, even though I wanted to keep lounging on the sofa.

I'll do it later. I can wait until Jasper and the others get back.

At that moment, I felt my thoughts becoming scattered. I couldn't stop thinking about the last image I saw of Kit and Anwar. My mind kept searching, wondering what they were doing. I was intensely curious about Anwar, to the point of being annoyed with myself.

He seemed very tired, but at the same time, he didn't reject Kit.

Is he the type who likes to push himself?

Whatever.

I tried to distract myself with other things: cutting tags off all the clothes I'd bought and throwing them in the washing machine, playing mobile games, and reading an English book.

Slap!

I slammed the book shut, making a loud noise.

All my attempts failed. My brows furrowed in frustration.

Stop thinking about it!

Stop thinking about other people's business that has nothing to do with you, Blue!

I fell asleep before waking up again to a call from P'Phim.

He calls more often than when I was still in Thailand. Although I'm suspicious and it feels strange, it should be good news.

Maybe our relationship is really getting better.

Someday, when I'm brave enough, I might ask him about all the news I've heard. Whether he lies or tells the truth, I hope I can accept either.

"How was your day?"

Why do I like him so much? I wonder myself.

"I went out and bought some clothes. Other than that, nothing special."

I just went out and saw Anwar and his fashion student friends. We spent time walking around and chatting about random things. Anwar isn't a very talkative person, but he didn't make me feel uncomfortable with his quietness. He even liked throwing open-ended questions back at me, prompting long answers.

And he listened intently to every response.

Could this be another reason why people like to be around him?

"Huh...clothes?"

"Yeah, the kind I'm wearing in the picture."
I like myself in that style, just like everyone who commented. But that wasn't the only style I got today. There's also a big jacket and skinny jeans that I never thought I'd wear. It's not a popular style in the faculty. Most people, including myself, usually wear straight-leg or wide-leg jeans.

"That's great! You're getting better at dressing up. You should take more pictures for me to see often."

"Okay," I mumbled, a small smile escaping my lips.

I turned onto my stomach, my fingertips tracing the MacBook keys slowly. P'Phim started chatting about other things-my studies, my friends. He didn't seem overly interested, so I gave short, cursory answers. Eventually, we ran out of things to talk about.

P'Phim then mentioned a friend and a lost wallet.

"And when he got it back, there was only forty baht left... Uh, Blue, I have to go now. I need to take a friend to the university to see a professor."

"Ah, okay," His rushed tone made me nod absentmindedly.

That's probably life for an older-year university student-a busy day of running to see professors and then going home to stress over work.

From what I'd heard, P'Phim wasn't exactly diligent, but he was smart and always got good grades.

"Okay, then. Sweet dreams. I love you, Blue."

"I love you, too..." A strange sound made my eyebrows furrow. It sounded like the other

person quickly shoved their phone into their pants pocket, causing a rustling sound.

I was about to hang up, if not for the additional sound I heard afterwards.

"Are you going to shower now? Go ahead and shower. Then let's go eat at the mall when it opens." A woman's voice, distant at first, followed by the same rustling sound as before.

Huh?

A sweet laugh followed, closer this time.

"Wow, you're up early! Got a lot of energy, huh?" P'Phim's teasing voice was followed by the woman's laughter, even louder this time.

I gripped my phone tighter. A wave of coldness washed over my face, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Who were you talking to for so long? I told you to come shower with me."

"Oh, it was a junior from my faculty. He asked about..."

Beep

My hand trembled violently, even though the call had ended. Confusion, mixed with

countless other emotions, overwhelmed me.

Disappointment? Heartbreak?

My body felt like it was rejecting the reality of what I had just heard.

"Taking a friend to the university..." I repeated his words like an idiot, my lips heavy, my eyes and mind equally numb.

I didn't want to think.

I didn't want to think about anything I'd just learned.

I tossed the phone onto the bed. The urge to cry intensified. My mind desperately searched for an escape, even though what I was trying to escape was all in my head.

I hurried out of the room. The second floor was silent, just as silent as the first floor as I walked down the stairs.

There was a supermarket nearby. I walked there, trying to focus on what I needed to buy. In the end, I just grabbed whatever caught my eye: sweets I'd never tried before, peanut butter, biscuits, Oreos, milk.

I carried it all back to the apartment, my arms full. The harder I tried to think about anything else, the more my mind circled back to P'Phim's words and that strange woman's laughter.

Stop thinking about it. Please, just stop.

"I love you Blue."

"Oh, a junior from my faculty..."

"I told you to come shower with me..."

Everything was distorted in my memory, making me want to throw everything away and just cry to release all this pressure.

My feet paused as I made eye contact with Anwar sitting at the bar counter. He was alone,.and the apartment was quiet; no sign of Kit or anyone else.

I stood still for a moment before putting my groceries on the wall-mounted counter.

"I bought extra," I said, turning to go back upstairs. But Anwar gently stopped me.

"What's wrong?"

"..." At first, I tried to avoid his gaze. I don't like crying in front of others, but when someone asks when I'm feeling sad, I always fail to hold back.

Anwar released my arm. He didn't hold me back, only his beautiful eyes fixed on me, as if trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Are you okay?" His deep voice, soft and gentle, accompanied the simple question.

It was like a sharp spear, piercing the wall I'd tried to build, causing it to crumble.

A sob caught in my throat. I confessed, desperate.

"No."

"Want to sit together?" he offered. I just slumped down, unable to think.

I love you Blue.

Anwar didn't ask anything else. He simply was there, doing nothing more than what he was already doing: grasping the liquor bottle, pouring it into a glass when it was empty, and then raising the glass to his lips.

That's all he did.

And I sat silently, like someone who had lost their voice.

"....Is it good?" I finally asked, seeing him drink it as easily as if the alcohol were water.

"You could say that. It's kind of sweet."

"Can I try...? Can I have some?" I rephrased.

Anwar hesitated for a moment before turning to grab a new glass and place it in front of me in answer. I stared at the amber liquid pouring into the empty glass, then took it and drank when Anwar finished pouring.

Then I grimaced the moment the burning liquid touched my tongue, but I forced myself to swallow it down.

A searing heat spread through me.

There was nothing about it that could be described as 'sweet'.

Anwar watched my every action silently, observing me drink the liquor like a madman. As soon as my glass was empty, he refilled it.

I don't have a high tolerance for alcohol.

Soon, everything felt different than usual.

"Want to talk?" he asked casually.

Strangely, I felt like telling him everything, wanting him to comfort me or say anything that would make me feel better, just because of that short question.

Was it the atmosphere he exuded? I wasn't sure.

In the end, I shook my head. I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want to bother him.

"Can I have another glass?" Instead of an answer, he poured me another drink. Anwar diluted every glass he poured for me with water, unlike his own, which he drank straight.

If I drank as much as he did, I'd probably have collapsed by now.

Wasn't it clear enough? He really did sleep with someone else. There were no excuses, no fantasies I could conjure up to protect him. There was nothing to comfort myself with.

He slept with someone else, and then lied to me.

It was blatant, so obvious. How could I deny it?

I love you Blue.

"Love what?" I gritted my teeth, the words escaping my lips in a barely audible whisper.

I think Anwar heard it, but as usual, he didn't say anything. His brown eyes fixed on me before he raised a hand to stop me from taking another drink.

"I'm not trying to stop you, but if you don't want to end the night vomiting, you should

probably stop."

I pursed my lips, allowing Anwar to take the glass of liquor from my hand.

He wasn't acting like any of my other friends. If it were a close friend, they would have been trying to pry the story out of me since the first five minutes.

Anwar was willing to sit there with me, even though he didn't know anything about what was going on.

I don't know what was wrong with me, what I was sad about, but he didn't force me to talk.

"How are you feeling? If you start feeling dizzy or nauseous, tell me." He replaced my glass with a new one, pouring water into it instead. I tightened my lips, nodding slightly in acknowledgement.

He's incredibly caring. Anwar is the type of man... I don't know how to describe him.

...Incredibly attractive and makes me want to be near him all the time?

I took a sip of water, starting to feel like a little child obeying his every command, while stealing glances at him.

He's incredibly handsome. No wonder he has so many Instagram followers. He has a

perfectly sculpted nose that complements every feature on his face. His lips, when he

smiles, seem to cast a spell on whoever's looking. His brown eyes meet mine without ever looking away.

I can never guess what he's thinking, what he's feeling.

It's like he's looking deep inside me, but revealing nothing of himself.

"I wonder what you're thinking..." The thought, meant to stay in my head, escaped again.

Anwar raised an eyebrow, and I quickly averted my gaze, feeling awkward and

embarrassed.

What should I do? He must think I'm strange.

"Don't make that sad face. It doesn't suit you." Anwar's casual words stopped me. I turned back, unintentionally meeting his beautiful eyes again. He didn't offer any further explanation, but I realized later that his comment was a response to what I'd blurted out.

Heat spread across my cheeks. My heart pounded at his strange, comforting words.

Was it comfort...? Yes?

"Have you rested? You must be tired. You should rest." I changed the subject when I started to feel flustered. It seemed he hadn't rested himself, yet he was sitting here drinking alcohol.

"It's alright," Anwar shook his head.

"Alright what?"

"It's alright. I didn't want to leave you here alone."

His honest answer left me speechless. Warm feelings surged, but at the same time, I felt even more indebted to him.

"Thank you," I said. I didn't try to convince him to go back to bed. The selfish part of me shouted at me to shut up and make the most of this time.

As I thought, when you're sad and someone stays with you without forcing you to do

anything, the awkwardness is better than the stark loneliness.

I couldn't hold onto the time any longer. With nothing to do and no alcohol to drink, just sitting there felt strange. It was like all my attention was focused on the person in front of me.

I saw Anwar clearly, and I felt his gaze, just as clearly.

"I'll go to my room now. Thank you so much for staying with me..." I said after a while. As soon as I mentioned it, Anwar stood up and walked me back to my room.

His tall frame followed me, always a hand's length away.

Anwar's silence wasn't uncomfortable. I found it more pleasant and reassuring than I expected.

"Thank you. Sweet dreams," I said at my doorframe. Then, his deep voice stopped me before I could step inside.

"Blue,"

"..." As always, his face was impassive. There was no worry or concern in his eyes, no expression to be seen.

Except for those words, which made my heart skip a beat.

"If you're feeling unwell, whatever it may be, come knock on my door."