Volume 9, Chapter 60 – Eve

“I-Is it cute?”

Shortly after the words left her mouth, Lin, out of embarrassment, pulled the quilt covering her face up slightly, instinctively wanting to hide her eyes. However, just as she lifted the quilt, filled with Yisi’s scent, she quickly put it back down.

Now is not the time to be shy. She had less than a day left. If she didn’t say everything she needed to now, Yisi would never know her true feelings until the moment she died.

Although she learned from the child named Tiffany that dressing scantily like this, tying her hands, and hiding under the covers would pleasantly surprise Yisi, Lin still felt an indescribable apprehension. What Tiffany said was just a general rule. If it were a girl like Loiswell or Camilla, Lin could imagine, even without seeing it, what a tempting sight it would be. Even Lin, as a woman, couldn’t help but feel stirred. But Loiswell and Camilla were complete Blood Clan or humans. For her, this incongruous being with even filthy monster blood flowing in her veins, doing this would only be met with disgust. In the past, before she developed the habit of wearing a mask, people on the street would either avoid her with disgust or quietly spit, as if seeing something unclean.

Is it really okay for something filthy like me to crawl into Yisi’s quilt?

That being said, Yisi had already discovered her. Even if she regretted it, it was useless. Now, she could only muster her courage and see it through.

The shyness in her eyes wavered for a moment, then firmed into resolve. Lin looked at Yisi’s face. Those doll-like beautiful blue pupils were much larger than usual, staring blankly at her own face. The feeling of being stared at so closely made Lin subconsciously look away. She had heard before that when people saw something interesting or felt excited, their pupils would dilate. Yisi’s mouth might deceive her, but physiological reactions shouldn’t lie. Lin’s anxious heart calmed slightly, followed by a surge of joy—she wasn’t that repulsive after all.

“Lin! W-W-What… are you doing?!”

Lin’s averted gaze snapped Yisi back to reality. Reflexively, she prepared to get out of bed. However, Lin didn’t just watch her leave. Easily undoing the ribbon tying her wrists, she flipped over before Yisi could move, propping herself above her, gazing down into her eyes. Because the black gauze dress was so thin, Yisi could even glimpse Lin’s well-developed chest through the loose gaps in the fabric. Her face flushed slightly crimson, and she politely looked away.

“…Lin?”

This pose is just too unfair. Yisi’s flushed cheeks made Lin part her cherry lips slightly. Yisi had no idea of the charm she possessed—that gentle, reliable presence, always trustworthy, someone she could confide in, who accepted her stubbornness and willfulness… To Lin, she shone as brightly as the sun. Like a magnet, constantly drawing her in. Even as a woman, facing such a Yisi, Lin couldn’t help but feel moved. Sometimes Lin even wished that one of them, either herself or Yisi, were a man.

Unfortunately, even that fantasy no longer existed. Her time was running out.

Lin opened her mouth.

“I don’t want to leave any regrets.”

“No regrets?”

“Yisi helped me so much, but I have no reward to repay you with. Whether in status or wealth, you are far, far superior to me, Yisi. So after thinking for a long time, I can only offer you the one unique thing I possess in this world…”

That was the existence named Lin itself.

Lin didn’t speak the final words.

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She was hesitating.

The Gospel’s final command was for her to trigger the incarnation of Calamity above the Imperial camp—in other words, to send Lin to her death. If it were the past, Lin would definitely wonder why the Gospel would want her, the Hero, to die, what the reason was. But now, those things felt as insignificant as feathers. This current directive undoubtedly aligned perfectly with Lin’s own desires. As the savior, she could both stop this war and face those Divine Religion predecessors who sacrificed themselves for her with a clear conscience. At the same time, she wouldn’t be violating her duty as savior to obey the Gospel’s guidance. Everything would end happily; it was the best possible outcome.

Except it was unfair to Yisi.

She hadn’t realized it before, but now, upon seeing the Gospel’s final instruction, she finally understood what Yisi meant to her. She was different from Red and Purple, holding a special, irreplaceable position. Just being with her made Lin feel at ease. Someone whose every frown and smile could bring her joy was clearly more than just a friend. That morning, when she heard from Camilla that Yisi would be leaving the Duchy of Chloe, she even felt as if a large piece of her heart had been brutally gouged out. Loss and helplessness instantly filled her chest.

If she told Yisi her feelings, and then something happened between them tonight, here… for her, perhaps it would be leaving no regrets. Even if she turned into the Calamity tomorrow, she would have none. But that would be unfair to Yisi. The dead passes away fulfilled, while the living must bear the burden of the deceased. If she were in Yisi’s position, what would she think?

She would feel self-reproach. She would think that if she had tried harder back then, maybe she could have prevented ‘Lin’s’ death, and then live her whole life in regret.

Ultimately, isn’t what I’m doing now just repeating the tragedy…?

In the past, she believed that if she hadn’t agreed to the old Pope’s proposal, hadn’t agreed to control the power within her, the tragedy of the dead city wouldn’t have happened. Therefore, the one who forged that disaster was her. This cause and effect applied equally now. If she confessed her feelings to Yisi and then went to die, the person left with self-blame would be Yisi.

Lin couldn’t help but find her thoughtless actions laughable. Coming here thinking about leaving no regrets, yet ending up proving her earlier conclusion—she was just a small, cowardly, selfish creature.

So I shouldn’t say these things?

The blush on her face receded like a tide. The hand about to touch Yisi’s shoulder quietly moved away. Lin slowly got up from Yisi, moved away from the bed to the window, regained her usual expression, and said with a wry smile, “I originally wanted to give you a surprise, Yisi. I heard from Tiffany that doing this would make you happy, so I tried it. But now it seems to have backfired. Sorry for doing these things on my own.”

“Wh-What was that?”

Quietly sighing in relief, Yisi clutched her unremarkable chest, then got out of bed, tilted her head, and looked at Lin’s face, tinged with self-mockery.

“Lin, you feel very different from usual. I have a premonition you’re going somewhere far away.”

Was I found out?

The bitterness on Lin’s face deepened.

Precisely because of Yisi’s sharp intuition, precisely because she could always sense her inner thoughts and embrace her with exceptional gentleness, she had become dependent on Yisi. Like someone who suffered a heavy blow but still had to go to work the next day—he could say “Good morning” like nothing happened, laugh along with others, but if someone came up and asked, “Are you really okay? You look pale,” this feeling of finally being seen, of someone realizing how sad he actually was, would make tears well up uncontrollably. And now, Yisi was that person asking.

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Even if I hide it, Yisi will sense it, right? Even if Yisi wouldn’t expose her immediately, she would ask later what she was hiding at this time.

But I don’t have a later.

For a moment, her chest felt constricted. I don’t want to hide things from Yisi, even before death.

Lin, barefoot on the carpet, hesitated for a moment, then nodded helplessly yet calmly. “Yes, I’m going somewhere far away. The kind of place where I’ll never see Yisi again… Just now, I actually wanted to give back everything I owe Yisi before saying goodbye. But halfway through, I suddenly felt it wasn’t appropriate, so I gave up.”

Like someone sentenced to death by a doctor.

Yisi quietly clenched her hands.

“Where?”

“Well, as for where exactly, Yisi will know tomorrow. Anyway, just seeing that Yisi doesn’t hate me in the end, I’m already content. Although Yisi’s mouth didn’t say it, her eyes were very honest.”

Under the moonlight, Lin, wearing only the black gauze dress, gave Yisi the feeling she might disappear at any moment. That bleak smile reminded one of a patient who had given up on everything, accepting reality.

Her brow furrowed tightly. Ignoring that it was already late autumn, Yisi walked barefoot in front of Lin, her expression stern.

“Lin, what did you see in the Gospel this morning?”

“Yisi will know tomorrow.”

“I need to know now.” Under Lin’s widened gaze, Yisi grabbed her wrist, the force making even Lin, beyond the hero’s domain, feel pain. “What exactly did the Gospel say? Lin, I can watch you sacrifice everything for your beliefs, but I won’t watch you do something foolish without knowing anything.”

Staring into Yisi’s glaring eyes, Lin fell silent.

Even this determination to care for others is so captivating.

If only I weren’t the Hero, didn’t bear the savior’s name. Then she could pursue Yisi without reservation. Even if there were many others around her superior to herself, she wouldn’t admit defeat. From the moment she opened her eyes in the morning until she fell into dreams at night, she would stay by her side, try to cook her favorite dishes, become more confident for her, investing all her life’s time and energy into this girl who captivated her so much. Even without reciprocation, she would feel fulfilled.

Unfortunately, that only existed in fantasy. She was the one who bore the name of savior. From the moment she chose to accept the savior’s duty, she was destined to burn away everything of herself, no longer disturbed by external things.

But even so, she still wished that times like this, spent together with Yisi, could last longer. Just looking at each other—no, it was more accurate to say being glared at angrily by Yisi—but even being glared at by Yisi, she could feel Yisi cared about her. Joy and bleakness mixed together, brewing into a fine wine tinged with bitterness.

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“The Gospel said… to execute Red and Purple.”

“…So Lin plans to evade the Gospel and leave here?”

“No. I’ve already resolved to defy the order to execute Red and Purple. I was just wondering how to hide it from Atwood. But now, that’s no longer necessary. Yisi was right. Red and Purple have already fulfilled their duty to the Gospel. They belong to Yisi now. The Divine Religion has no right to decide their life or death. So Yisi, quickly take Red and Purple and leave now.”

When saying the word ‘leave,’ Lin paused for a moment before uttering it with great difficulty.

“Why is it no longer necessary?”

“The Gospel’s execution target has changed to me. Tomorrow morning, I will launch a surprise attack on the Imperial camp, and then, when my strength is exhausted, transform into the Calamity.”

Seeing Yisi looked like she wanted to say something, Lin immediately interrupted her. Taking advantage of being slightly taller, she lightly touched Yisi’s lips with her index finger. Feeling the warmth of her lips against her cold fingertip, Lin’s bleak smile turned into a genuine one.

“Don’t feel sad for me. This is not only the Gospel’s decision, but my own as well. My birth was a mistake from the start. Now is just the time to atone for past sins. Whether it was that coastal city in the Empire, or the dead city, or those killed by me under the Gospel’s guidance—they are all my sins. Now, I should go repay them. The Empire’s war against the Duchy of Chloe started because of me; it should also end because of me. Although I won’t be able to control myself after transforming into the Calamity, since I’ll appear above the Imperial camp, I can definitely destroy their army. Plus, with me, the cause of the war, dead, the heavily damaged Empire won’t attack here again for a short time. This is the best possible outcome. Even if the Gospel hadn’t ordered me, I would do the same.”

Swatting away the finger Lin placed on her lips, Yisi, furious, grabbed Lin’s collar, stepped forward, and slammed her against the window. The impact made a soft thud.

“The Empire’s declaration of war was just a pretext! Lin, the Empire just wants to expand its territory! Your death won’t achieve anything!”

Lin answered Yisi calmly.

“Yisi, you said earlier you wouldn’t interfere with me acting on my beliefs. Now, this is my belief. You should understand too, right? Having defied the Gospel’s will, I am no longer fit to be the savior. Disappearing this way is the best choice. That selfish, incompetent, and cowardly Lin never abandoned her responsibility, even unto death. I can face those Divine Religion predecessors who died for me with a clear conscience. I have fulfilled the Gospel’s command. I haven’t failed their expectations.”

“What if I say the Gospel is wrong?!”

“Yisi, my mind is made up. You don’t need to find excuses to shake my conviction. Only through this way can I fulfill the duties a savior should.”

“You’re just running away.”

Lin froze for an instant, but quickly regained her bitter smile.

“Yes. Yisi, you’re right. I am running away. But besides running away, I have no other path left. I cannot repel the Imperial soldiers with my own strength, nor can I defy the Gospel’s will again and again. I have no hope left. But you still do, Yisi. You shouldn’t waste your time on me.”

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Lin silently gazed into Yisi’s blue eyes. Under the starlight, her own smile was reflected in those clear pupils—her current self was ugly to the extreme.

Having a cowardly creature like me appear in Yisi’s eyes is undoubtedly a desecration.

Averting her gaze from Yisi’s face, Lin gently pushed her away. Then, as if remembering something, she pulled out the Gospel tucked at her waist and placed it on the nearby desk.

“Tonight I need to spend time preparing things for tomorrow morning. This Gospel… please give it to Atwood, Yisi. If you still consider me a friend… Right, I still have a lot of spare blood in my room. As a Blood Clan member, Yisi can take it all. Otherwise, Atwood will just throw them away as waste.”

Shrugging at Yisi, Lin forced a genuine smile, then walked barefoot, step by step, out of Yisi’s room, her footsteps making muffled thump-thump sounds.

“Hah…”

Not stopping Lin from leaving, Yisi let out a long breath. After a moment of silence, her gaze fell on the Gospel Lin had left behind. At this point, she could finally confirm something she had long suspected.

She casually opened the Gospel to a page with nothing written on it.

“The Gospel… Interesting. If everything it commanded Lin and the others to do before was just to observe my existence, then it’s time for it to show itself now. After hearing Atwood’s accusations against you, and the fact that even Laxy can’t see the text… if I still can’t determine you’ve become something else, possessing self-awareness, then I’d be too slow-witted.”

The Gospel indeed couldn’t observe her directly, but it could infer what happened by observing how events deviated from the predetermined trajectory through others’ actions. And if the Gospel possessed consciousness, then whether it was playing with Atwood and Gran’s fates, or timely issuing unreasonable commands to Lin’s group, everything became logical.

Ordering Red and Purple to their deaths, and ordering Lin to transform into the Calamity… the Gospel’s purpose was undoubtedly to understand her personality and strength through them, thereby indirectly controlling her through those around her.

Therefore, since it wasn’t just a simple book of wisdom, but something with self-awareness, it should possess certain specific emotions—like fear. The only thing worth considering was whether this intelligence arose from the Gospel itself, or was granted by something else. After all, before Laxy left the Kingdom of God, there was only one Gospel; now there were two.

Furthermore, if the Gospel could make those who could originally see it become unable to, then it also meant it had the ability to make those who couldn’t see it able to. Therefore, all she needed to do now was force its hand. It might not be able to observe her, but it could feel that it was being injured by some unobservable external force.

Yisi extended her right hand, grabbed several pages at random, and then pulled slightly.

Sss-rip—

In an instant, countless pages fluttered around the room.

Only by understanding the Gospel’s true form could the cursed be truly freed. By dragging the mysterious entity out from behind the curtain and dissecting it cleanly, those who believed in it would naturally begin to waver.

Then, white light enveloped the entire room.