The Difference

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That night, I had a strange dream.

I was back in Alaska.

Back at the lake.

Back in the water.

My eyes snapped open as I lifted my head off of the crystal blue ice. My breaths came out in ragged gasps, and my whole body felt impossibly cold after sitting in the water for so long.

I looked around. The sky was growing dark as the sun began to set. Ahead of me, lying at the edge of the lake was the fallen aspen. Through the growing darkness, I could make out a shape perched on one of its branches – furry, tan with faint black spots, pointed ears, massive round paws.

A lynx.

Its eyes locked onto mine as I continued to struggle, probably hoping for a chance at an easy meal.

Moving my hands along the edge of the ice, I turned myself around and laid my body flat. I kicked my legs as hard as I could, using whatever strength I still had left to pull myself out of the water.

I managed to pull myself out up to my chest. Then my waist. Then my thighs. Then I was finally lying across the surface of the ice, gasping and shivering as I prayed that it would hold.

Using my arms and legs, I dragged myself back to the other side of the lake in the direction of the Willoughby homestead. Back towards home.

Home…

A heavier gasp escaped my chest as I moved. Tears poured down my face.

I was going home.

Back to the homestead.

Back to the cabin.

Back to Grandma and Grandpa.

I had no idea how long I had been gone or if anything that I had just experienced had been real, or even if what I was experiencing now was real. All I knew is that I needed to get myself off of the ice and get somewhere warm. No doubt Grandma and Grandpa would freak out as soon as I walked through the door. I’d probably even need to go to the hospital, but I was alive and that’s what mattered.

Eventually, my hands hit the snow at the edge of the lake and I pushed myself onto my feet. My wet winter clothes weighed down my body, and my feet almost slipped out from under me as I stepped off of the ice.

I stopped and turned, looking back past the hole I’d just crawled out of to the fallen aspen one last time.

The lynx had jumped down from its perch and was now making its way across the ice in my direction.

It was following me.

Best to not stick around.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I began trudging through the snow, focusing all of my attention on putting one freezing foot in front of the other until the cabin came into view.

Another shuddering gasp escaped me as I saw lights illuminating the windows to the kitchen. More tears came, burning my cheeks as the wind blew around me.

I looked back again as I stepped onto the property to see if I was still being followed.

The lynx now sat at the edge of the treeline behind me. Still watching. Still following.

“Not today, Whiskers…” I rasped as I continued forward.

The lynx blinked, craning its neck slightly as it watched my movements.

Slowly, I managed to cross the homestead and stagger up the cabin’s front steps.

I sighed with relief as I pushed my way through the door.

“Grandma!” I called out, “Grandpa!”

I was met with silence.

In the kitchen, there was a shape sitting at the table in front of the old woodstove, but it wasn’t Grandma and it wasn’t Grandpa.

My eyes went wide as I made out her long locks of jet black hair through the gloom of the cabin.

Her light olive skin.

Her dirty furs and travel clothes.

Her steely grey eyes as her head turned to look up at me.

Raven.

I blinked.

And I was back in the hut.

I sat up quickly, my chest heaving as I tried to get a grasp of where I was and what had just happened. I looked down at my hands, then at my surroundings.

I was back in the world of the therians.

Back in the Tribe of the Mountain Forest.

Back in the hut.

Back in a body that wasn’t mine.

I sighed deeply as I laid back down in my nest of hides, doing my best to compose myself as I tried to understand what the hell had just happened.

That had to have been the most realistic dream I’d ever had.

I could still feel it – the ghost of the icy water and snow digging into my body, even while lying in the safety of a nice warm bed. My head began to swim as my thoughts drifted back towards home, the lynx, and Raven.

In a strange way, it was my first time returning home after the many days I’d already spent living in this world, and I was surprised at how quickly I had decided to reach for it again. Not once had I thought about the life I had begun to build for myself here. The only thing that I could focus on was pulling myself out of the lake, making it back to the cabin, and seeing Grandma and Grandpa again.

Then there was the lynx.

I couldn’t help but wonder what the lynx was supposed to represent. Was it supposed to symbolize my attachment to this world, or was it simply an animal that my mind had chosen to place there?

Thorn had been a lynx.

By extension, that meant that I was a lynx, too.

It couldn’t just mean nothing.

And Raven…

My hands came up to rub at my face as images from the night before flashed through my mind. Raven yelling about the hut. Cooking dinner for her. Sitting across from her as she asked me questions. The look that she gave me before she’d left to go to Echo’s.

Now, I was seeing her in my dreams. Great…

I rolled onto my side, looking over at the spot where Shade normally slept. A moment of panic made me sit up when I didn’t see him there, until I remembered that he too was over at Echo’s. He had been ever since she’d snatched him up yesterday morning.

I glanced around the hut again.

I was completely alone.

Somehow, that was more disturbing to me than it was peaceful. I had grown accustomed to waking up to my right arm falling asleep as Shade slept beside me, his soft breathing whenever he managed to stay in his own bed throughout the night, the series of questions he’d ask me as I got the fire going and worked on getting us some breakfast, then sitting down and figuring out what we were going to do for the day.

Now, it was just me.

Just me and the thoughts that kept reaching towards a woman that I barely even knew.

I let out another sigh as I forced myself to sit back up. I knew I wasn’t about to accomplish anything by lying around in bed and thinking about it. If anything it’d only give my mind another opportunity to wander off somewhere I didn’t want it to go.

The hut had cooled sometime during the night again.

Normally, Shade would have complained about that by now.

I glanced towards his bed again.

Empty.

“Right…” I muttered.

I let my mind reach back for the things I knew.

Fire.

I pushed myself to my feet and approached the firepit. Grabbing a stick, I stirred the few embers that glowed from underneath a layer of ash, blowing on them gently until a few tiny flames began making their way through.

Then I reached for the firewood. I placed two logs into the pit and was about to reach for a third before I stopped myself.

Two logs would probably be enough. After all, it was only me here this morning.

It was strange how quickly little things like that had turned into something that I now did automatically. A week ago, I had barely known the kid. Now my mind was calculating how much firewood I needed based on whether or not he was around.

Grandma and Grandpa probably would have gotten a kick out of seeing me do something like that.

The thought brought a small smile to my face, though it wound up fading almost as quickly as it came as a lump began to form in my throat.

I swallowed it back down and made an attempt to keep myself busy by cleaning around the hut, even though there wasn’t much to do.

That feeling was still strange to me. Not having anything to do.

Here, I could gather firewood, go hunting, look after Shade while I cleaned around the hut, work with Bone, or look for whatever work that still needed to be done inside of the village.

Right now, none of that seemed particularly urgent. The hut was already clean, I had plenty of firewood still, Shade was already being taken care of, and nobody needed anything from me. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with that.

Then my stomach growled softly.

Apparently, now, I did.

Food.

I stepped over towards the table to where I had set the package of dried meat Raven had left me last night. There was plenty there for a meal.

I pulled out a piece and settled myself on the stool beside the fire. I turned it over in my fingers a couple of times before taking a bite and chewing slowly. It’d been chilled by the cold from earlier this morning, but it was still good – mild, clean, and savory.

My eyes drifted over to the other side of the fire. To the edge of the bed where Raven had been sitting.

I could still picture her sitting there, shoulders stiff as she watched my every movement, waiting for me to reveal whatever trick she’d assumed I’d been pulling.

I could still remember how that suspicion had started to change during our meal. I knew that’s what must have happened. It hadn’t disappeared, it had changed.

I wondered what she had told Echo.

Everything, probably. Or at least everything she thought had happened.

I could picture that conversation well enough.

Thorn cleaned the hut.

Thorn has new bowls.

Thorn cooked for me.

Thorn is acting strange.

When you put it like that, it did sound pretty suspicious.

A quiet laugh escaped me as I took another bite of the dried meat.

Slowly, though, I stopped chewing.

Why did I care? That was the part I couldn’t quite figure out. It wasn’t like Raven was my wife. Not really. The two of us couldn’t even really be considered friends. As far as I knew, she was someone I had only met and interacted with a small handful of times.

And as far as she knew, I was the man who had given her every reason in the world not to trust.

And yet, I kept thinking about her. The way she had watched me prepare dinner. The way she had slowly relaxed as she ate. The fact that, for a little while at least, she had stayed when she could have just as easily walked back out of the hut.

I looked down at the strip of meat in my hands.

Even this was because of her. She had caught it, dried it, brought it back with her, and handed it over to me to ensure I’d have something to eat when I woke up.

And here I was, sitting alone in the hut doing exactly that, all while wondering where she was.

Maybe it was Thorn…

That thought had crossed my mind before. Maybe there was some trace of him that had been left behind that still reacted to Raven, even when I had no reason to. Some memory or instinct that I still had yet to learn about and understand.

The thought of it made my stomach twist.

I didn’t like that idea.

If I was going to care about someone, I wanted those feelings to be mine. Not Thorn’s.

Then again… Shade wasn’t Thorn’s doing. Not anymore, at least.

Whatever bond Thorn had shared with his son had been damaged long before I knew anything about therians. The kid had been terrified of me when we first met. He’d backed himself into a corner. He screamed. He hid his face so he didn’t have to look at me.

Everything that had happened since then – showing him the trap, letting him help me with the firewood, allowing him to help me while I cooked, waking up with him wrapped around my arm…

That had been me .

Maybe it could be that way with Raven…

I frowned.

Suddenly, the silence of the hut felt louder than it had before.

I stood abruptly.

I needed to get out of this hut. I needed to shake these thoughts that were rattling around inside my head, if only for the day.

Work.

There was bound to be plenty of work still to be found around the village. Bone would probably have something for me. If not him, then somebody else definitely would.

I stepped towards the entrance and paused as my hand settled against the hide covering the doorway.

For a brief moment, I wondered if Shade would be waiting for me outside. If his little legs had decided to carry him home…

Or Raven…

I shook my head before pushing my way outside. As I took a deep breath, the cold morning air seemed to settle my nerves, putting my mind at ease as I soaked in the familiar sights and sounds of the village.

The tribe was already coming to life as I started down the path in the direction of Bone’s hut. Smoke curled up from the tops of several huts as families tended to their fires and started on meals. Voices carried between the trees as people greeted one another and went about their work. A few children had already gathered in one of the clearings to play, possessing far more energy than I could have ever hoped to have this early in the morning.

I found myself checking to see if Shade was among them.

He wasn’t.

I should have figured as much. Echo would probably make sure that he’d at least eat something before she’d let him run off to go play.

That thought brought Raven back to mind.

I wondered if my thoughts from earlier this morning had been right, and she really had told Echo about everything that had gone on at the hut last night. Echo knew the truth about me, and it’d sounded like she had practically cornered Storm in order to find out more about my situation.

And Raven…

Raven had spent most of her time at the hut last night trying to figure out why her husband had suddenly decided to clean their home, cook her food, and was now behaving like a halfway decent person.

The two of them probably had plenty to discuss, and I wasn’t sure if that was going to work in my favor or not.

Maybe Echo could at least manage to convince Raven that Thorn had actually changed. Not because I wanted her to automatically start trusting me. Knowing what I knew about Thorn, expecting that of her would have been asking for too much.

Still, it would be nice if our next interaction was less confrontational, and felt less like a test or an interrogation.

I found myself smiling at the thought.

Whatever Raven decided to make of me, I knew there wasn’t much that I’d be able to do about it this morning. There was work to do, and after everything that had happened yesterday – the chaos with the far-hunters and Raven coming home – getting back into something that resembled my normal routine sounded pretty good.

As I rounded a corner and glanced across the path, a flash of long black hair caught my eye. My head turned before I’d really thought about it.

For a moment, I expected to see Raven, only to see another woman walking between the huts, carrying a large woven basket against her hip. She hadn’t even noticed me as she disappeared around the next corner.

I slowed for half a step.

Apparently, I was looking for Raven now.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to make of that.

Curiosity, maybe…

Or maybe it was a little more than just curiosity.

I let the thought sit with me as Bone’s hut finally came into view. I didn’t try too hard to figure it out. Trying to pick it apart probably wouldn’t do me any good anyway.

Instead, I adjusted myself and decided to focus on the one thing I actually understood here. Work.

I found myself pausing as I approached.

I had grown used to the mess that always seemed to surround Bone’s hut every single day, but this morning it looked worse than it had when Rain had first brought me here. Several bundles of hide had been stacked along one of the exterior walls up to the top of the door frame. Twice as many baskets sat around the property, piled high with antlers, bones, strips of sinew, and collections of tools that I was slowly beginning to recognize.

From somewhere within the mess, I could hear the rhythmic sound of a stone scraper working against a hide.

“Bone?” I called out.

The scraping stopped.

A few seconds later, Bone poked his head out from the other side of his hut.

“Oh, good. You’re here,” he sighed, sounding almost relieved.

A corner of my mouth lifted into a half smile, “Good morning to you, too.”

Bone could only shake his head as he pointed to the stack of hides.

“Far-hunters came back with more than they could handle,” he explained, “Apparently, that means I have more than I can handle.”

I couldn’t help but snort at that, “At least you’re finally admitting it.”

Bone gave me a flat look as I glanced around again at the mess.

“What do you need me to do?” I asked.

Apparently, that was the right question as Bone immediately put me to work.

Most of what the far-hunters had brought him needed to be cleaned, sorted, scraped, cut, or otherwise prepared before it was collected again and turned into something useful. Bone handled the work that I was less experienced with, leaving me with the tasks that I had already proven I could handle without ruining anything.

For a little while, that was enough to keep my mind occupied.

We worked together mostly in silence. Every so often, Bone would slide something my way or have me adjust something. It was repetitive, but I didn’t mind. There was something comforting about having a task in front of me that didn’t require much thought to do properly.

A couple of times, someone would stop by as they went about their day to say hello. Not just to Bone, but to me as well. It felt a little strange, having someone willingly walk up and greet me while looking like the person that I did. A week ago, the tribe probably would have found it unthinkable.

Now?

People were adjusting. Plenty were still skeptical, especially the far-hunters who had only just returned, but there were many who were finally starting to come around to the new Thorn.

“So…” Bone eventually said, breaking the silence.

“So?” I responded as I kept working.

“How did last night go?”

I paused. Bone noticed.

I let out a small breath, “It was fine.”

Bone stopped scraping. I could feel his eyes digging into my temple as he stared at me.

I glanced over at him, “What?”

“Well…” he began as he resumed working on the hide in front of him, “When Raven came here for you yesterday, she looked like she was going to kill you. I even half-thought about saying something to Light about it… So?”

I frowned as I set down my knife.

“Well, she wasn’t happy,” I began.

“I assumed as much.”

“She thought I’d stolen the bowls you brought me. Same with the pelts I’d traded for.”

Bone let out a small snort at that, “And?”

I shrugged, “I told her the truth. I eventually got her to believe me, I think.”

Bone nodded slowly, “Sounds like it went better than I expected then.”

“Oh, that was just the easy part…”

Bone’s hands stopped again as his head turned, “What happened?”

“She started asking questions. A lot of questions. About where everything came from. Why the hut was clean. Why I was working. Why I’d decided to cook for her. Why I suddenly cared about any of it.”

Bone raised a brow, “You cooked for her?”

“Yeah,” I replied, glancing up at him, “Just some grouse that I’d caught.”

I could see Bone biting back a smile, “Did she stay long?”

I hesitated.

“A couple of hours,” I eventually answered, “She left for Echo’s a little after dinner.”

Bone drew in a breath as the two of us went back to work. For a moment, I thought that’d be the end of it as I began focusing very intently on the hide I was working.

Then a sound broke the silence between us. A faint, almost silent, chuckle.

I looked back up at Bone. His face had broken into a toothy grin.

That was a first, and I didn’t like it.

“What?” I asked again.

Another chuckle escaped him. Louder this time.

“You… Cooked,” he said, nodding slightly before turning back towards me, “ You …”

I raised a brow at him, “You know I can. You’ve eaten my cooking before.”

“Yes…” Bone sounded like he was desperately trying to hold it together, “But Thorn can’t.”

The stunned look that appeared on my face then finally did him in.

Bone doubled over, letting out a laugh so sudden and loud that I nearly dropped my knife. Several people along the path turned their heads, looking to see what the commotion was about.

One of his hands slapped against his thigh, his shoulders shaking as he struggled to get himself under control.

I stood there glaring at him. I had seen Bone amused before. I had seen him smile, heard him chuckle, and even make the occasional joke at my expense. But I had never seen him absolutely lose control of himself like this.

Apparently, ‘Thorn cooking dinner for his wife’ was where he drew the line.

Eventually, Bone managed to drag himself upright again, wiping his eyes as he drew in another long breath.

“Are you finished?” I asked flatly.

Bone let out a wheeze as he shook his head, “No…”

I tossed a scrap of hide at him.

Bone caught it against his chest, “Alright! Alright!”

He was still grinning ear to ear.

“I don’t see why this is so funny,” I said, dragging a hand down my face.

“That’s because you did not know Thorn,” Bone stated.

My eyes narrowed, “I think I know enough.”

Bone shook his head again, “No, you don’t.”

He picked his scraper back up, his grin now firmly planted on his face.

“Thorn does not cook,” he explained, “He usually takes all of his meat wet and raw.”

My stomach churned, “That doesn’t sound healthy.”

Bone shrugged, “It’s how he was raised.”

I looked up at the mountain that loomed over the village.

“Did you serve the grouse to Raven, too?” Bone asked.

I hesitated again.

Bone’s eyebrows shot up, “Oh, ancestors. You did!”

“Well, what was I supposed to do? Throw it at her?”

Bone doubled over again, laughing into his hand as I rolled my eyes and went back to work.

“She looked tired,” I tried explaining, “She’d been traveling. I felt like she needed it.”

“Stop...” Bone chuckled.

“What?”

“You’re just making it worse.”

I threw out my hands, “How?”

Bone struggled to compose himself, “Because every word coming out of your mouth is something Thorn would never say.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Fair enough.

Bone finally managed to calm himself down as we returned to work. Every now and then, though, the occasional chuckle would escape him.

After a moment, he shook his head, “I wish I could have seen the look on her face.”

I thought back to when Raven was sitting across from me. The suspicion that had been in her eyes. The way she had watched me while we ate. How she had slowly begun to relax once she had realized that I didn’t want anything from her.

“She was confused,” I told him.

Bone scoffed, “I imagine.”

“Mostly suspicious.”

“That sounds more like Raven.”

I paused, “She kept waiting for me to do something.”

Bone’s amusement slowly faded. He didn’t need me to explain what I meant.

“She had every reason to,” he said quietly after a few seconds.

My face fell slightly, “I know.”

The silence slowly started to settle back in again, save for the steady scraping of our tools.

Eventually though, Bone set his scraper down again and turned to me.

“What else happened?” he asked.

I felt myself cringe, “If I say, are you going to start laughing again?”

Bone smirked, “Probably.”

I let out a groan as I set down my knife.

“I think Raven tried testing me at one point before she left,” I explained, “She started making these off-handed comments…”

Bone raised a brow at that, “What sort of comments?”

“Like when I was explaining how you brought me the bowls to repay me for tackling your storage den. She seemed surprised that you would even let me, then brushed it off by saying that stealing a few strips of dried meat from you wasn’t the worst thing Thorn had ever done.”

For once, Bone wasn’t laughing. Not that I really expected him to. He hadn’t the day he had entrusted me with cleaning the storage den when he had mentioned it. But this was different. His expression had gone stone cold, his eyes darkening.

Somehow that was worse than when he’d been laughing.

“It wasn’t just a few strips of meat,” he stated, “It was half of my entire stock. Whole animals had gone missing. I nearly killed Thorn for doing that.”

My stomach dropped. I was sure Bone hadn’t meant that figuratively.

“What stopped you?” I asked.

Bone snorted, “Raven.”

Of course.

“What else?” Bone asked.

My response came a bit slower this time.

“She asked about some herbs I’d gotten from Flower. Then she mentioned how Flower had always had a soft spot for Thorn.”

“And you agreed with her?”

“Yes.”

Bone shook his head, “Thorn’s attitude and behaviors always made Flower uneasy. She hated it whenever she had to look to him for anything.”

Ah.

“Tell me more,” Bone said, leaning back against the wall of his hut.

I let out a sigh, “She showed me what was inside her travel pack. Guess she’d expected me to say something about it.”

“Did you?”

I shrugged again, “Only because she asked.”

“And?”

“I basically told her she did a great job, all things considered.”

That finally got a chuckle out of Bone, “Thorn would have spent all of his time complaining about what she didn’t bring back.”

I palmed my face. So far, we were three-for-three on wrong answers here, and I had a feeling it was about to be four-for-four.

“Anything else?” Bone asked.

“Yeah…” I replied slowly, “She mentioned the argument she and Thorn had…”

Bone’s expression darkened again.

“She said she’d done a bit of thinking. That Thorn had been right. That maybe he was suited for this tribe after all, and that the Tribe of the High Mountains could never compete.”

Bone’s eyes went wide, “And… you agreed?”

My silence must have been enough of an answer for him. Letting out a deep sigh, Bone rubbed his face with his hands.

“Thorn would have torn out her throat for saying that to him,” he finally said, “His identity was strongly tied to his life as a soldier in the High Mountains. He had status then – revered by his own tribe and feared by others. But I wouldn’t expect you to know anything about that.”

My mind went back to Blaze during my first trip to the grooming den.

“Breaker…”

The name rolled off my tongue before I had a chance to stop it.

Bone’s eyes grew wider, “How do you know that name?”

I looked up at him, “Blaze told me.”

Bone quickly glanced around the property, as though he expected him to appear out of nowhere.

“Does he know?” he asked.

“He suspects,” I admitted, “Said if I ever wanted answers that I should come see him.”

Bone was silent for several seconds before he fixed me with a serious look.

“Don’t,” he said firmly, “Stay away from him whenever possible. I don’t think getting answers out of him will be of any help to you.”

I nodded.

Just then, Echo came sprinting around the edge of the hut. She slid to a stop in front of us, looking utterly relieved as her eyes met mine.

“I’d hoped I’d find you here,” she panted, “It’s Shade…” 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEBoPquBte

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