01: I Want a Collar! …Or So I Thought, but I Wound Up on a Family Trip!

“Arwf… (Haaah, I want a collar…)”

A gentle breeze wafts across the mansion’s back garden as I let out a sigh, overcome with ennui.

…I know I just said it, but what does ennui even mean? It’s French, right? I honestly have no idea. I’m just…blah.

I’m nearing the two-month anniversary of the day I was reincarnated into this body.

In the previous world, I was Routa Okami: a corporate slave at a terrible company. Like a tool, I was used until I broke. But thanks to my wonderful new pet life, I couldn’t care less about that dreary past of mine.

I have a kind master who spoils me rotten, and I can eat and sleep as much as I want without anyone getting mad at me.

I spend each day in utter bliss. And yet, there’s something weighing on my mind.

“Arwf… (Haaah, collar…)”

I let out another listless sigh, but it’s swept away on the wind.

This afternoon is warmer than usual, but it feels lovely here in the shade of my favorite tree.

Lady Mary should be done with her lunch soon, and then she’ll come outside. Dozing off in the shade has become a daily routine for me recently.

“Squeak? (Did you say something, beloved?)”

This reply to my muttering comes from a round little mouse on top of my head.

Normally, her blue fur would seem out of place on a mouse, but it’s fine because she’s not really a mouse. She’s a giant blue dragon who’s over one thousand years old.

Her name is Lenowyrm. But that name’s too long and difficult, so I just call her Len.

Our fateful battle occurred while I was hunting for a medicinal herb that would cure a mysterious illness that had befallen Lady Mary.

It was a pretty sad fight, honestly.

She, the spinster, and I, the lick-o-phile, were locked in mortal combat, and at the end of that embarrassing death match, I somehow emerged the victor. She’s been with me ever since, for whatever reason.

In her words, I’m her “prospective husband.”

And to be going after me despite the massive difference in age and species, the thirst of a spinster is something to behold.

Since then, she’s disguised herself as a mouse and lived in my fur. It’s a total invasion of my personal space.

“Woof. (I just said I want a collar.)”

“…Squeak? (…Hmm? What was that? Do mine ears deceive me? You wish for a culling? If I’m not mistaken, isn’t that when one mercilessly thins a population’s numbers?)”

“Woof! Woof! (Well, that’s messed up… But that’s not what I’m talking about! A collar! To wear around my neck! Get it together, granny!)”

“Squeak! (Wh-wh-who are you calling granny?! I’m quite young for a dragon, I’ll have you know! I’m still a young maiden!)”

I guess we’re just gonna pretend she’s not a thousand-year-old spinster.

“Bark, bark. (Okay, fine, you’re a maiden. Whatever. I just want a collar.)”

“……S-squeak. (…It is not ‘whatever.’ Furthermore, I cannot fathom why a proud Fen Wolf would desire proof of submission.)”

“Mrow. (Well, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard Routa saying weird things—erm, also meow. Meow!)”

High above the spot Len and I are taking shade in, a feline voice calls out to us. There, perched on a branch, is a crimson cat with her paws tucked beneath her.

It’s Nahura, who forces a “meow” onto the ends of her sentences to make herself seem more catlike.

She’s actually a homunculus that’s been forced into the body of a cat, but I don’t know the details.

She’s also a bona fide cat burglar who makes frequent trips to the mansion to steal my food right from my bowl. Truly a formidable foe who has heartlessly gobbled up three entire meals of mine without remorse.

“Woof, woof. (There’s nothing weird about it. If there’s a dog, it needs a collar. If there’s a collar, it needs a dog. So what’s wrong with a pet dog wanting one?)”

“Squeak. (But you’re a Fen Wolf, not a dog. And you’re the alpha wolf, the esteemed king of the Fen Wolves, Fenrir.)”

“Woof, woof! (No I’m nooot! I’m a dooog! And even if I was a Fen Wolf, I’m still just an adorable puppy.)”

“Mrow! (Ah-ha-ha! You’re not cute at all!)”

“Woof! (Shut up! It’s not funny!)”

My lady calls me cute all the time! Even if no one else does!

“Squeak? (So? Why do you desire a collar?)”

“Arwf…… (Hmph, just listen to this…or, well, watch this.)”

I move away from the shade of the tree and over to the tiny maid attempting to hang up some wet laundry.

“Hup! Nnf!”

She’s not quite tall enough and has to stand on her tiptoes as she tries to hang sheets over the clothesline. Her black hair is done up in pigtails that bob up and down in her struggle, and it’s actually pretty adorable.

I wonder if she’ll be okay without a stool to stand on. I feel like she’s about to miss and drop everything at any moment.

“Arwf, arwf! (Hey, little maid!)”

I waltz over and nuzzle up to one of her legs.

“Arww, arww? (Working hard, I see. Why don’t you take a break and pet me?)”

If this were Lady Mary, she’d be delighted by what I just did, but this maid…

“E-eeeeeeeeek!”

She practically leaps out of her skin and clings to a freshly washed sheet, which then slowly sinks to the ground. The once-clean white sheet is now covered in grass stains.

“A-arwf. (O-oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d make you jump that much.)”

“D-don’t come any closer…”

She kicks her legs out, giving the impression of running in place as she’s pinned to the ground by fear.

“Arwf. (Hee-hee. Little girls’ crying faces are so cute. I wanna give her a lick.)”

……Wait, let’s forget I said that!

“Bark. (See my point now? This is how people have been reacting to me lately.)”

At first, it was only a few of the maids, like this one, but more and more people have become wary of me as I’ve grown.

Papa Gandolf, the master of the house, and Lady Mary seem fine with it, so no one’s said anything, but I’ve felt more and more passing glances that seem to wonder Is he really a dog?

And I’m not being overly self-conscious about this.

It’s not that every single person here suspects my true identity, but it’s clear the oblivious servants are finally starting to open their eyes.

This is bad. Really, really bad.

Not many people still treat me the same as when I first arrived at the mansion. One standout is the chef, old man James.

He still laughs with a “gya-ha-ha” as he pets my head and feeds me delicious food. He’s the best. The best of the best.

Actually, I can think of one more person who treats me the same as when I first got here, but she’s been trying to eliminate me for as long as I can remember.

“Grrrr……?! (That’s right—the freeloading knight, my rival slacker, Zenobia… Doesn’t she have anything better to do than test her new blades on me…?!)”

“O-oh no……”

The maid is still looking at me like I’m about to eat her.

Urgh, the fear hurts; it really does.

Sure, she acts like this now, but when I was a lot smaller, she would actually hug me during her work. She even used to bury her face into my fluffy chest.

Those precious memories make her fear sting me that much more.

“Bark, bark! (It’s all because of this stupid Fenrir body! Who would want to have such a terrifying form?! I just wanted to be a dog! A pampered pooch! A lazy dog allowed to get fat off eating too much tasty food! This is all that pretty goddess’s fault with her stupid special service…!)”

I glare at the sky, baring my hatred at the useless goddess who reincarnated me.

I can see her now, waving back at me from the blue sky with an ignorant smile.

“Squeak? (Huh? What’s this about a goddess?)”

“Mewl. (He’s spouting nonsense again. We can probably just ignore it.)”

Oh yeah, I haven’t actually mentioned to anyone that I was reincarnated.

It’d be difficult to explain, and if they don’t believe me, they’ll just treat me like I’m an idiot. Probably best to let Nahura think whatever she wants.

“WOOF, WOOF!!! (I may be big and terrifying. It may have been only two months since I was born (LOL). And I might be a dog (temp.). But there exists an item that will take the edge off my frightening look for sure! And that item is a C-O-L-L-A-R!)”

My desire for a collar is so strong that when I yell, I feel like I’m about to fire another beam.

“Eek! N-noooooo!”

“Squeak. (You’re going to scare the poor girl to death if you continue shouting like that, beloved.)”

“Arwf…… (Whoops, sorry about that.)”

I tamp down an overwhelming desire to lick the trembling young maid who’s gripping the sheet.

“Woof, woof. (Anyway, let me spell it out for you. If there’s a dog, it needs a collar. If there’s a collar, it needs a dog. Even if the dog’s big, they look less intimidating when they have a collar on, right?)”

As long as I can get a collar, then the little maid and all the other servants will stop being so afraid of me.

Humans are very susceptible to signals. If I have something that clearly marks me as a pet, then I’m sure they’ll go back to being oblivious and thinking of me as a harmless pup.

“Squeak. (No, I don’t think that’s how it works at all.)”

“Mewl. (I can hardly believe a collar will be enough to solve your problems, Routa.)”

Len looks at me with eyes half-closed and full of doubt. Nahura simply laughs at me.

“WOOF, WOOF! (Fine! Whatever! I was an idiot for telling you two!)”

“Ahhh?! Uwah…pleeease… What is wrong with you?!”

Oh, crap. I barked too loud again.

Now this tiny maid’s gone from teary eyes to outright bawling.

I’m not sure if she managed to shake off the fear, but she snaps back at me a little.

That’s super-cute, too, little maid. I really wanna lick you.

“Squeak… (This is moronic… I shall return to my slumber.)”

“Mewl. (I’m going to find a patch of sun to lie in.)”

Len burrows into my mane, and Nahura leaves to find a sunny spot.

Which leaves me alone with the sniffling maid.

How am I supposed to comfort her? I’m pretty sure she’ll just cry more if I lick her. Maybe I’d be better off not doing anything at all…

But just as I think that, a petite silhouette approaches through the curtains of sheets.

“Roouutaa! Where are you?”

Wha—?! Is that Lady Mary?!

“Oh, there you are. Bad Routa, you shouldn’t get in the way of Toa’s work—”

My lady’s head pops out from between the white sheets.

She’s the very picture of a perfect young maiden, with her light-blond hair and deep-blue eyes. And her smile is just for me.

Ooh, she’s super-cute today as well. Super-duper-cute.

But her lovely expression quickly darkens.

“Routa…? What are—?”

U-uh-oh. She’s definitely the type to misunderstand this scene!

The crumpled maid, crying as she grips the sheets. And me, howling wildly in front of her.

It certainly looks like I’m five seconds away from attacking her.

And that’s the only part of this whole interaction that she saw! The only logical explanation is—a dangerous beast?! Extermination?!

“Arww, arww! (I-i-it’s not what it looks like, my lady! I wasn’t going to do anything! I was just rubbing against the back of her knees and got excited by the maid’s crying!)”

Okay, that would be a major crime if I were a human, but I’m a pet, so it’s fine! There’s no problem at all!

“What did you do to Toa? You shouldn’t make her cry! Bad dog!”

She puts a hand on her waist and raises the index finger of her other hand to scold me.

She is not scary at all, just incredibly cute. My lady is always super-cute.

“Honestly, don’t you wag your tail so much. This is a scolding, understand, Routa? Bad dog! Bad dog!”

“Bark, bark! (Yes! Thank you! I have turned over a new paw!)”

Lady Mary puffing out her cheeks is even cuter. My wagging tail picks up speed.

Apparently, the black-haired pigtailed maid is called Toa. I’ll remember that.

“Oh, Toa! What are you doing in front of the young lady…?!”

Following behind Lady Mary is the maid Miranda, who is shocked by the sight in front of her.

The freshly washed sheets are now covered in grass and mud. They’re going to have to be rewashed.

“Ah, um, this is…er…”

The confused Toa gropes for an answer. She’s probably going to be punished.

I can’t let that happen! Especially when it’s all my fault… But there’s no way for Toa to talk her way out of this one.

Guess there’s only one thing I can do.

“I-I’m sorry, Miranda; I—”

“Woof! (Hyup!)”

I leap at Toa as she bolts to her feet.

“Ahhh! Ahhhhh— Huh?”

My target isn’t Toa, but the sheets she’s holding.

“Arwwwf! (Mwa-ha-ha-ha! I’ll take this! And this!)”

I drape them over my head and hold them in my mouth as I roll around on the ground, increasing the sheets’ filth levels a good 300 percent.

“Ahhh!”

Miranda takes one look at the grass-covered sheets, her mouth agape, and immediately, her anger turns to me.

“Routa! You’ve gone too far this time! I shall speak to chef James, and you’ll certainly go without dinner tonight!”

“A-arwf?! (Huh? Wait! That’s my punishment?! Don’t take my dinner awaaaay! Not when I’m still growiiiing!)”

I drop the sheets, fold my ears back, and lie on the ground.

I forgot. Miranda is the only servant who isn’t scared of me at all.

“Arww, arww! (I’m sorry! Please! Don’t do that!)”

“Miranda… It looks like Routa’s sorry, so maybe you can forgive him this time?”

Oh, my lady is so kind. What an angel.

I nuzzle Lady Mary as she wraps herself around my neck and vouches for me.

“…Very well, then. Please excuse me, my lady.”

Miranda sighs and picks up the dirt-covered sheets.

“I shall rewash these, Toa; you finish hanging up the rest of the sheets.”

“Y-yes, ma’am!”

Her pigtails bob as Toa retrieves the remaining sheets from the wash basket.

There, that should keep Toa from getting in trouble.

“Let’s go play over there so you don’t get in the way again.”

“Woof! (Yeah! I’d love to!)”

I follow after my lady to the middle of the garden, my tail wagging all the while.

I see Toa pause her sheet-hanging duties, and it looks like she’s about to say something.

But I’m sure I’ll just scare her again if I approach her.

I think nothing of it as I choose to follow my lady instead.

“Come on, Routa!”

“Bark! (Let’s do this!)”

After we play fetch in the garden, we enjoy some tea and light reading in the shade of a tree. Refreshed after her break, Lady Mary returns to her afternoon studies.

Mission complete.

…Oh, wait, the collar.

“Really, Father?!”

It’s evening, and I’m relaxing in the living room when I hear my lady’s voice.

“Arwf?! (Huh, what’s going on?!)”

Dozing off by the fire, I suddenly snap my head up in surprise.

Maybe it’s because the mountains are so close, but while the afternoons are nice and warm, the mornings and evenings get pretty chilly.

Listening to the sound of kindling crackle as I loaf to my heart’s content is the best.

“Yes, I can combine this with some business I have in the imperial capital, but I shall have a few days free. We can take our time traveling there first, though.”

“Oh, how wonderful! Thank you so much, Father!”

“Great, I’ve already summoned the ship. It will be the perfect way to celebrate your return to health, Mary.”

Lady Mary is now in perfect health thanks to the wyrmnil we took from Len’s nest. Papa must also think it’s a good idea for her to have a break from her daily studies and enjoy a chance to spread her wings a bit.

“Arwf? (Still, what does he mean, ‘ship’? Are we close to the ocean?)”

I was brought to this mansion soon after I was born, so I have no knowledge of the surrounding area. The only geography I’m familiar with is the enormous forest to the north of the mansion and the waterfall even farther north of that. That’s where Len used to live.

“Routa! This’ll be our first journey together! I can’t wait!”

“Arwf! (You’re taking me, too? Yippee!)”

I wonder if I’ll get to try the beds and cuisine of the imperial capital.

I don’t want to do anything but eat and sleep, even on vacation. Just one of my lazy-dog qualities.

“If that’s the case, then please allow me to accompany you!”

A knight, gripping the hilt of her sword, pipes up.

She has smart features, and her hair, a fiery crimson, is tied up in a ponytail. This is none other than Zenobia Lionheart. Or as I like to call her, the no-good knight.

She had been standing motionless, playing bodyguard next to the door, but is now suddenly speaking right at Papa’s side.

“I am responsible for your safety as well as the young lady’s! Please allow me to continue carrying out my duties!”

“O-of course. You’re welcome to come along as my guest, but please, there’s no need to get so worked up, though your diligence is appreciated. It is certainly reassuring that the knight who defeated a dragon will be protecting us.”

“Oh, well, that dragon incident was, um…”

Whenever the dragon’s defeat is mentioned, Zenobia instantly clams up.

Well, all she did was ransack the place. To be honest, her only contribution was sucker punching the dragon who wanted to resolve everything peacefully, which in turn pissed it off, and so the dragon ended up beating her within an inch of her life. But if Zenobia hadn’t said she defeated the dragon, then everyone would be suspicious of my true identity. That’s why everyone thinks she’s a hero now.

“Grrr…”

Zenobia glares at me as I chuckle internally.

Ha-ha-ha! That frustrated expression is the best. I seriously have to lick her someday.

“So when do we leave, Father?”

“Oh, tomorrow.”

Lady Mary’s expression freezes upon hearing his response.

“Wh-why didn’t you tell me sooner?! I have to get ready! Please help me, Miranda!”

“Yes, my lady. There’s no need to worry, though. We have plenty of time. Just leave it to us.”

Miranda smiles as she tries to calm her down, chasing after her mistress who’s just flown out of the room. She doesn’t look fazed at all.

Seeing how Miranda kept a level head in such a situation reminds me of exactly how incredible the servants of this household really are.

“I thought she was still a child, but it seems Mary truly is becoming a lady. It sure takes a while for a woman to prepare her things.”

Papa Gandolf has come over to pet my head.

“Arwf! (You’re right. That’s something men just don’t understand. Although, now that I’m in this body, it has even less to do with me!)”

I’m getting more and more excited about this sudden vacation.

I think the last trip I took in my old life was a field trip during high school. My existence back then was even more miserable than you could imagine.

Guess I’ll try to enjoy this vacation with Lady Mary the best I can.

That evening, my lady struggles to stay awake as she works with the maids to decide what clothing and other travel essentials she’ll take with her.

The moon is high in the sky by the time she finally goes to bed.

“Phew… Routa…I can’t wait to leave tomorrow……”

“Arww. (Yep, yep. Same. Which means we should get to sleep ASAP so we don’t have trouble waking up tomorrow.)”

I’ve grown so big that even this luxurious canopy bed feels pretty small. These days, Lady Mary has to sleep holding on to me.

She presses her face into my fluffy body and soon drifts off into slumber.

“Yaaaawn. (I should sleep, too… Good night, my lady.)”

With thoughts of tomorrow’s trip buzzing in my mind, I let out a big yawn and fall asleep in no time.

The Faulks family mansion is so extravagant, you could easily mistake it for a castle, so of course the land surrounding it is appropriately massive.

Especially the garden, which is larger than my middle school was.

It’s not just large, though—it sports an elaborate layout.

The talented gardener has worked his magic, so the lush lawn has no odd gaps anywhere. Each and every blade of grass rises to the same height. The emerald expanse is trimmed so cleanly that it resembles green carpeting.

In the center is a water fountain with white stone paths branching off in all directions, and along each path are flower arrangements with various themes that any passerby can enjoy.

It’s a garden absolutely rich with character. Filthy rich, in fact.

And above this garden—one of the many treasures of the household—is…

“Arwwwwwwwf! (It’s huuuuuuuge!)”

…a giant ship floating in the air.

The immense vessel hovers in place, its sheer size creating eddies in the air as a light breeze passes by.

I look up at this incredible sight, mouth agape.

“Arwf…! (Papa said he called a ship, but I never would’ve guessed it’d be an airship…!)”

But even if I call it an airship, this thing is nothing like the blimps that are just a passenger compartment attached to a gigantic balloon. If anything, it looks more like a sailboat.

It’s made with subdued dark-brown wood and has a female figurehead mounted on the prow, most likely for good luck while flying.

The more I stare at the sculpture, the more it resembles the goddess who had me reincarnated into this life… Do the people of this world worship her?

“Woof, woof! (Wait, how is this thing floating? Must be magic. Man, this stuff is incredible. You really can do anything with magic, huh? I mean, this ship is insanely huge!)”

I’ve seen both Nahura and her master, Hecate, use magic that can make things levitate, but this is on a completely different level.

“Oh-ho, does this ship pique your interest, Routa?”

My mouth is still wide open when Papa asks me this.

“This is a large airship that my company, Faulks Co., developed. This one is the flagship, the Jeremiah.”

Papa strokes his beard with pride.

“This ship was built using techniques developed by the imperial capital’s Institute of Magical Research. It’s outfitted with four giant magical Flo Ruu furnaces, each equipped with six exhausts. That means it can fly quietly for long distances at incredible speeds. I plan to put them into service next spring, but I’ve borrowed this vessel under the pretense of a trial run. Right now, this high-speed ship is only meant to entertain the royal aristocracy, but I’d like to produce more someday, bring the cost down, and use these for intercontinental transport of goods and people. But there are a mountain of issues concerning weather, international borders, flying monsters—”

He’s acting like a child who’s proud of his toy as he speaks about it at great length, but unfortunately, all this info goes in one ear and out the other.

“Arwf, arwf. (Ohhh, uh-huh, wow. I see. Ohhh, uh-huh, wow. I see.)”

“As expected, Routa, you understand my vision.”

“Arwf. (Nope, I wasn’t able to follow any of that. Not a word. I just know that this ship is amaaaazing.)”

Wait. Does that mean this ship is Papa’s? This ridiculously huge flying ship is his personal aircraft?

Whoa, Papa’s incredible. Or at least, this family’s wealth is incredible.

“Father! Father!”

Lady Mary is waiting behind us, but the moment he stops talking, she tugs on his sleeve.

“Oh, of course. Let’s continue this conversation on board. Shall we?”

On the side of the ship is the gangway. There are a number of slanting ladders that the servants had been using to carry the luggage on board.

“““Safe travels, Master and Lady Mary.”””

The servants seeing us off all speak in unison as they bow together in a single movement.

Only a few maids are accompanying us on this trip to attend to Papa and Lady Mary, with Miranda in charge. But that doesn’t mean that everyone else stayed behind because they think I’m too scary, right?

That can’t be it, right?! They just didn’t want to impose, right?!

“Take care, now!”

Just behind the servants is old man James. His chef’s hat is off as he waves.

He works in the mansion as part of the kitchen staff, but he’s also Papa’s personal friend, meaning he’s not really a servant.

Papa invited him to come along on our journey, but James is really busy and turned him down. Papa seemed dejected about the whole thing, but I was even more disappointed. I’ll have to spend an entire journey without the old man’s cooking!

I could eat five—no, ten—of his meals per day easily, and now I have to go who-knows-how-long without it…

“Arwf! (Well then, we’ll just have to see how skilled the chefs of the capital are! I’ll test it all myself!)”

I’m sure Papa will treat me! He’ll make sure I get to eat amazing food while we’re there! Papa’s definitely going to treat me!

“Hey, don’t get so excited just because this is your first journey. If you try anything weird when we get there, you’ll cause problems for the master and the young lady.”

Zenobia, who has volunteered to act as their bodyguard on this trip, speaks to me in a low voice.

We shared the highs and lows of an adventure when we went to find the wyrmnil, but her attitude toward me hasn’t softened at all.

I’m still on edge around her, as per usual. The constant bloodlust she has for me makes my skin crawl.

She’s always staring when I’m playing with Lady Mary in the shade of a tree, always outside the bath when we’re bathing, always watching me when I’m napping while my lady studies.

What is she? A stalker? Is she actually in love with me or something?

I hound Zenobia as she continues to eye me with suspicion.

“Woof? (Hey, Zenobia, before you start worrying about me, how about you make sure you don’t get lost on this trip as well, hmm?)”

She has zero sense of direction, after all.

If she loses her way in the chaotic streets of the big city, she’ll be scarred for life.

“Wh-why are you looking at me like that? Are you implying I’ve done something wrong?”

“Arwf… (Nah, sorry for getting worked up, but I’m getting the distinct feeling you might screw up at another critical juncture…)”

“Tch… I may have been unconscious during the fight with the dragon, but you won’t be the hero again this time. I’ll be the one who protects the master and young lady…!”

“Arwf. (Yeah, well, I’m just a pet, so being asked to help protect anyone is a little ridiculous. I’ll leave everything to you, so have fun working and being useful for once.)”

If she can’t do her job at a time like this, who knows if she’ll ever manage.

On the other hand, I don’t feel a lick of guilt for taking it easy right now!

Because I’m a pet! Pampered pooch life is the best!

“Let’s go, Routa! We’ll be the first ones on board!”

After my lady curtsies for the captain as he greets his passengers, she rushes over to the ship’s gangway.

Hmm, even though she looks so prim and proper, she really is a bit of a tomboy. Then again, that’s something I find absolutely adorable about her.

“My lady! Wait for me! I shall accompany you!”

Zenobia chases after her.

“Woof, woof! (Lady Mary! Wait!)”

She’ll get lost if you go too far ahead! Seriously, Zenobia gets easily confused! I just know she’ll get lost if you leave her behind! Wait! For real, wait up!

“Come on, Routa, hurry up.”

“Woof, woof! (You’re too fast, my lady!)”

I try as hard as I can to keep pace with her spirited sprinting. The ship is fairly large, but it’s still cramped for my giant body. The moment I pass by crew members, they turn to look at me and then turn right back around. I don’t know if they were told about me in advance, but for whatever reason, they’re not freaking out.

Sorry, crew. I’m sure it’s a shock to see something as huge as me running around your ship.

“I found stairs, Routa! Let’s go take a look!”

“Arwf. (Come on, Lady Mary, how are you so energetic? We got on board like two minutes ago.)”

We explore the ship to her heart’s content until I have no idea where we are anymore.

When we peek into the engine room, someone shows us the gem-like crystals used to power the ship; and on the bridge, the captain lets Lady Mary wear his captain’s hat and touch the steering wheel. I feel like we’ve explored just about every nook and cranny.

But then we find ourselves at the royal suite.

Of course, there’s a restaurant, but there’s also a bar and an area that looks like a theater.

This incredibly luxurious cruise ship is something Papa’s extremely proud of. And it’s easy to see why. I always dreamed of going on a cruise like this in my past life… Wait, no. No sad thoughts allowed. I don’t want to ruin this happy moment.

…Hmm. Where’s Zenobia?

I guess we did end up leaving her behind, earlier. She couldn’t keep up with our exploration.

I’m sure our knight has assumed some kind of fervent duty to find Lady Mary, whom she no doubt believes is now missing somewhere on the ship. But, of course, it’s Zenobia who’s actually lost.

The pleasant sound of my lady’s shoes clicking against the ground cuts through the air.

We continue to climb some stairs, and I spot an exit. A blinding white light fills my vision, we step outside, and—

“Woooow…!”

My lady cries out in wonder.

We’re graced by the sight of a gorgeous blue sky just above a sea of clouds.

“Arwf! (Whoa! Amazing! What a spectacular view!)”

So this is the deck? We reached the highest part of the ship in no time at all.

But man, is this view incredible.

I look up to see a rich blue sky. Then look down to see an ocean of fluffy white clouds expanding below me.

“Arwf… (I flew on planes a number of times for work in my past life, but I never thought there would be this much of a difference seeing the sky like this instead of through a window…)”

The view stretching 360 degrees around me is breathtaking. Completely different from the narrow perspective you get in economy class.

The airship sails through the sky, cutting through the clouds like waves.

“It’s so beautiful…”

My lady rests one hand on the deck’s railing and uses the other to hold down her hair billowing in the wind as she enjoys the vista of the sky.

“Woof. (Posing that way makes you look like you’re in a painting, my lady.)”

Even the most famous works of art don’t hold a candle to this scene. I wish I could save this image and keep it forever. If I had a camera, I’d take as many pictures as possible.

Ahhh, she’s so beautiful.

“Arw? (Huh? That’s weird.)”

We’re at a crazy-high altitude, but the air isn’t thin. It’s not freezing cold out, either. Just a little nippy against my skin.

“That’s because of a contract made with the wind spirits who have put a barrier to block the air outside.”

“Arwf! (I know that voice…!)”

It’s a woman’s voice, and it’s so bewitching that anyone hearing it would go weak in the knees.

“Dr. Hecate!”

“That took you a while. I was getting tired of waiting.”

Standing there is a beautiful woman with a wide-brimmed witch hat and a glass of liquor in one hand.

“Woof, woof. (Oh, it’s you, Hecate. I didn’t know you were on board.)”

“Ha-ha, I am Mary’s attending physician, after all. It’s my duty to monitor my patient’s progress after administering treatment.”

“I’m already back to full health! And it’s all thanks to your medicine!”

“Oh my, you need not thank me… Whoops, I shouldn’t say anything.”

Hecate looks at me with a knowing grin.

Shh! It’s a secret! Don’t tell Lady Mary anything about who got the medicine!

“Huh? What was that? Something secret? Tell me! Tell me!”

“Hee-hee, no way.”

“Aw, you’re such a meanie!”

My lady pulls at Hecate’s arm playfully.

Hee-hee-hee. Seeing these beautiful women playing really warms my heart.

“It really is wonderful that you can come on this trip with us, Doctor!”

“I have some errands to attend to in the imperial capital, so this was perfect timing. Teleporting in a flash with magic is a rather dull way to travel.”

“There you are, Mary. Did you have fun exploring?”

That is when Papa climbs up the stairs. Behind him is a sheepish-looking Zenobia.

Oh-ho, would you look at that? It seems Papa picked up a lost Zenobia on his way over.

“Arwf! (Hey, look everyone! Zenobia’s trash at guard duty!)”

I stick my tongue out at her in a way that Lady Mary won’t see.

“Tch…! Y-you little…!”

“W-woof! Woof! (Whoa! Hey! You shouldn’t draw your sword on a flight! Look, my lady! Look at what she’s doing! Hey now! Restrain yourself!)”

I immediately retreat to Lady Mary’s side.

“What’s wrong, Routa?”

“Grrr…!”

I knew it—she can’t do anything to me when everyone else is around. Zenobia looks at me in frustration as she removes her hand from the hilt of her sword.

“Arwf. (Ha, I win.)”

I hide behind Lady Mary, proud of my victory, as Papa’s eyes widen in surprise.

“D-Dr. Hecate?! What are you doing here…?! I don’t remember contacting you…”

“Oh? It almost sounds like you wish I wasn’t here.”

“N-no! That’s not it at all!”

Papa shakes his head in denial. Even Papa, who’s normally so dignified, gets flustered in front of Hecate.

It seems Papa has known her since he was a young man, so it’s no mystery that Hecate knows a few ways to push his buttons.

“Gandolf, I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever been aboard your ship. It’s quite magnificent.”

“What? Oh right, yes, thank you very much. I’m quite proud of it. It is truly an achievement for the Faulks name.”

Papa gives an honest reply to the sudden compliment, albeit in a curious tone.

“I see. I think so, too. By the way, can you remind me of who exactly acted as a mediator, forging the contract with the spirits to erect the air barrier for this fine vessel?”

Hecate gives him a naughty, bewitching grin.

“Th-that was you.”

His cheeks flush.

“And who spoke with the famously stubborn Institute of Magical Research?”

“Why, you, of course!”

“And who gave you the crystallization technique for the floating ore that powers this airship?”

“You!”

“That’s right. I gave you so much, yet I received no invitation, did I?”

“……!”

Ah, this was a lost cause from the start. Hecate’s so deeply involved with the ship’s inception that without her, we wouldn’t even be here right now.

She’s a witch, she’s a doctor, and she has connections in the imperial capital? Just who is this superwoman? If only she weren’t a glutton, or a wine thief, or had a less rotten personality…

Papa is now soaked in a cold sweat as Hecate’s smile grows wider.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“You are welcome to board this ship whenever you please! You are our most esteemed guest!”

“Oh, why, thank you. I’m glad to hear it.”

She pulls a complete one-eighty, her evil grin morphing into the gentle smile of a young lady, her hand on one cheek as she takes a sip of her amber drink.

Papa heaves a huge sigh before his eyes move to Hecate’s drink.

“B-by the way, Doctor… That drink of yours……”

He lifts a trembling finger and points at the bottle Hecate’s waving around.

“Oh, this? It’s a fifty-eight-year-old Selenhorun.”

She gulps down the last of her glass and sighs with decadent satisfaction.

Then she tilts the bottle and pours herself another.

“That’s not what I meant! I was planning to enjoy that on this trip…! Ahhh, you’re guzzling such an expensive liquor like water…!”

“Oh? Am I?”

“Yes! Please give it back!”

He shakes his right fist in the air. Confronting Hecate with a look of renewed vigor, he seems determined to get the bottle back, no matter what.

He really, really wants to drink that booze. Actually, I want to try some, too.

“…Hmph.”

Hecate narrows her fearless eyes, the glass against her lips.

Uh-oh, she clearly set another trap for him.

“Gandolf, do you remember the results from your last checkup?”

“U-ughhh…!”

Papa’s shoulders start to shake in response.

What’s this? Does he have some kind of health issue?

“You drink and eat far too much. Don’t you remember I told you your uric acid levels are pushing it, putting you at higher risk of gout?”

Pfft! Gout? Papa lives way too extravagantly. But I guess that’s what happens when you drink every single night while eating rich, heavy foods like honey-slathered cheese.

No, I shouldn’t be laughing. It actually sounds like a serious issue. I’ve never had it, so I don’t actually know what gout entails, but judging by the name, maybe simply going outside is painful.

“I even recommended you food to remedy it. And I told you to cut back on the alcohol.”

“You did…”

Papa trembles, sweating so aggressively that I’m worried he might get dehydrated.

“Then what’s this? What is this alcohol doing here? There’s even plenty left in the cellar. Gandolf, have you been secretly snacking on fatty foods and drinking behind my back?”

“N-n-no, o-of course… Yes, I have.”

“Do you regret it now?”

“Yes…”

“No more drinking, then. Agreed?”

“Yes……”

“Good. I will, though.”

“……Please have as much as you like……”

Papa breaks down, a flood of tears streaming down his face.

So that’s why Hecate always comes to the mansion and helps herself to a bunch of his alcohol.

“Mmm, mmm. This really is delicious.”

Or not. I have no doubt that she just wants to get drunk on somebody else’s dime.

“Uwah…ungh… Just when I finally got my hands on it……”

Papa’s really bawling now. He’s a little too comfortable looking pathetic around his daughter. He has the distinguished presence of a silver fox, but he’s also a bit too fragile.

“Father…”

His face is such a mess from crying that my lady hands him a handkerchief.

“Father. I’m feeling a bit thirsty. Would you like to have some tea with me?”

“Oh, Mary……”

She’s trying to cheer her father up since he can’t have alcohol anymore. She must be an angel. No, she literally is an angel. There’s no mistaking it. She’s my little angel.

She leads Papa, who’s so touched that he starts sobbing yet again, away to the rear of the deck.

“Woof, woof! (I’m coming, too! Maybe I’ll swipe some desserts.)”

Just as I start setting off after them in excitement, I feel something scampering around the scruff of my neck.

“Squeak…? (What is the meaning of this commotion…?)”

“Arwf? (Oh, did you just wake up?)”

The face of a sleepy blue mouse pops up from my fluffy mane. Her eyes widen at the sight of the new scenery.

“Squee?! (Wh-whaaaaaaaat?! Why are we in the aiiiiiiiir?! Where are weeeeeeee?!)”

“Arwf?! (You’re kidding, right?! How long have you been asleep?!)”

Come to think of it, I hadn’t heard a squeak out of her since midday yesterday.

Did she really sleep for a good twenty-four hours? There is such a thing as too much sleep. What a perfect recluse.

Damn it, I feel like I’m losing!

“Squeak, squeak. (Small matter… I exist to soar above the clouds. My hunger is a far more pressing concern. Perhaps you can explain our current situation while preparing a meal.)”

“Woof, woof! (Pipe down! You’re so demanding for a squatter. Dessert crumbs from teatime are good enough for you.)”

“Squee? (Oh, dessert? Very well. I am fond of sweet things.)”

Tch. Nothing discourages her…!

“Woof! (Argh! Fine, then. I’m sure you know this already, but don’t peek out from my fur.)”

No matter how you look at her, she clearly looks like a mouse.

Do you have any idea how terrifying a cook is when they see a mouse?

“Squee. (Very well. I shall not jeopardize your social standing. I am a woman who stands by her husband.)”

“Woof, woof? (Who’re you calling your husband? For starters, both parties need to consent to marriage.)”

Not to mention there’s a humongous gap in our species and ages.

A wife and kids? No thank you. I don’t need that ball and chain.

My ideal life is to be a pet.

Ohhh, how I would love to be Lady Mary’s pet for the rest of my life. I want her to spoil me and pamper me. Sorry, Len, but I’d rather die than be some dragon’s husband.

“Woof. (I only remembered after you popped up, but it seems like Nahura’s not around.)”

If Hecate’s here then that means Nahura should be, too, or rather, she should have been dragged along, as well.

“Squee. (Hee-hee. That means I get you all to myself.)”

“Arwf. (Uh-huh, sure, good for you.)”

“Squee! (You’re no fun at all! Meanie! Prepare yourself!)”

As Len and I exchange banter, I walk over to the consulting room where Lady Mary and the others have retired, and there I see—

“Mewl. (You’re late, Routa. This dessert is delectable, by the way.)”

Nahura is getting nice and cozy in the warm room, enjoying some dessert.

“Mrow? (What’s with the scary face? Oh, sorry. You always look like that.)”

She lifts a paw to her mouth and chuckles, her cheeks stuffed with sweets.

“Woof? (So where is this delectable dessert, then?)”

“……Mew? (……Hmm? Well, that’s strange. There doesn’t seem to be any more.)”

“Woof! Woof! (What’s strange is your extreme gluttonyyyy!)”

I knock her over with my paws.

“Arwf. (Oh-ho, not bad.)”

I appraise the evening meal as a helping is piled high on a plate.

“And here we have our main course, flying fish à la meunière. Some crew members who had a bit of extra time on their hands fished these fresh from the clouds as we came to collect you.”

“Ha-ha-ha, I see you’ve inherited your master’s love of fishing.”

“Arwf, arwf? (Ha-ha-ha, is that so?)”

I can hear the chef explaining how they sourced the ingredients. I’m casually inserting myself into the conversation, but he’s actually talking to Papa and the others in the room next door.

“Arww. (I’m so lonely, sniff.)”

Then again, I’m nothing but a freeloader, so it makes sense I never get to eat with other people. Plus, I’m really loud when I eat, which they think is bad manners. Especially the maids. But that’s just how I show my appreciation for the food! A pet has no use for the polite table manners of the upper class. Diving into a meal headfirst is how I do things!

Oh, by the way, it seems the flying fish of this world are fantastical creatures that can actually soar through the sky. To be fair, flying fish in my old world can fly (glide, technically) for up to five hundred meters.

“Arwf… (…That’s pretty fantastical in its own way.)”

Flying fish are amazing.

But what’s really amazing is this smell!

Covered in wheat flour and fried. That’s all meunière means. But don’t underestimate its potential.

The rich smell of butter and fat tells my nose this dish contains extraordinary levels of umami.

“Arwf! (Just look at it. See how it glistens?!)”

The fish, thrice scored to let the flavor seep in, looks plump and tender, like the juices will ooze out with even the lightest of pokes.

Even at a glance, I can tell that the fried fish skin, liberally seasoned with exotic spices, will be unbelievably crispy.

The fins of the fish, which closely resemble wings, have been fried to perfection and now sit alongside the meunière as a side snack.

The chef is definitely someone who doesn’t like to waste a single ingredient. This reminds me of old man James’s handiwork.

“Arwf… (It’s too much; I can’t resist…)”

I can’t hold back anymore. It’s time to dig in!!

I open wide, downing a whole portion in one bite.

The moment the crispy flakes come off, a rich umami spills out and—

“Arwwf?! (H-how is it soooo gooooooood?!)”

The fat! It doesn’t feel thick or heavy at all! The texture is so light, I’m afraid the fish will fly away. And the amazing fragrance of this butter is filling my nose. How can something taste this gooooood?!

“Mewl! (Wow! This is scrumptioooouuuus!)”

“Squee! (Whoooaaaa, this is really something!)”

Nahura and Len appear out of nowhere, trying the meunière from my plate.

But they’re not wrong. It’s delicious. The light, snappy crunch of the outside and soft, melt-in-your-mouth inside complement each other spectacularly.

And the fried fins have been served with a tart tomato sauce that, when eaten after the meunière, tastes very clean and refreshing, and makes you feel like you could eat it forever.

It’s incredible. A+.

“Mmm, this is delicious. I see you’ve gotten even better. Maybe even close to surpassing your master?”

I can hear Papa’s high-spirited chortle.

“Not at all. I haven’t even come close to half of the master’s skill.”

“Hmph, I think this meunière could easily compete against something of James’s, but I suppose the culinary road is a long one.”

I can imagine Papa offering a sage nod.

Color me surprised, though. Seems like the chef who cooked this meunière is one of old man James’s students. No wonder it’s so tasty.

“Which reminds me, Lord Faulks. How is my master doing? I haven’t received a single letter from him, although, I’m sure you know what he’s like…”

“Oh, he’s doing very well. Can’t you tell? He’s been having a lot of fun coming up with new recipes for the newest member of our family.”

“Ah yes, your massive white dog… He is a dog, correct?”

Yes, I’m a dog! I’m a cute, fluffy puppy! As the old man’s student, please inherit some of his obliviousness!

“Yes, his name’s Routa. It’s quite the challenge keeping his appetite satisfied, which I think is why James enjoys coming up with new menus every day.”

“I’m glad to hear it… I do regret that there are techniques he was never able to finish teaching me, but I’m happy that he’s happy. If that had never happened, I think he would be the royal chef by now.”

“Well, I think punching a member of the royal family was going a bit much. The only thing he could do was lie low in my mansion before he got caught.”

“Arwwf?! (Pfffft! He did what?!)”

There’s a limit to how eccentric you can be. Wouldn’t doing something like that pretty much guarantee capital punishment?

“Mewl! (Ew! That’s gross! Gross!)”

Whoops, sorry.

“Squee… (Honestly, such terrible manners. Here, let me wipe your mouth… Arghhh, I can’t… I can’t reach it at all…)”

Wow, old man James is incredible. He’s so good, he’s even cooked for royalty.

I could tell right from the start that he was someone special!

“I thought the commotion would have died down by now, so I invited him along. But he refused my invitation. He said he was busy crafting a new recipe and tending to his fields.”

“Ha-ha-ha, that sure sounds like him.”

Seems like the old man’s always been that way.

I guess he’s always true to himself no matter where he ends up.

“Look at that, Routa. The moon’s so big and beautiful…”

It could be argued that this is the best bed a guest could hope for, but it’s definitely cramped compared with my lady’s extravagant furnishings back home.

It’s so small that there isn’t enough room to turn over with me in it, but Lady Mary doesn’t mind as she squeezes in close to me.

“Arwf. (Yes, it’s a wonderful full moon.)”

The scene outside the circular guestroom window has a completely different appeal from the splendid view we saw during the day.

The sea of clouds reflecting the brilliant-white glow of the moonlight really is a lovely sight that I wouldn’t have gotten to see in my old world. Ah, it makes me want to howl.

It’s all thanks to my lady and everyone in the Faulks household that I can enjoy this perfect moment.

If I had remained as my old self, an emotionless drone who died of overwork without any friends or family, then I would have never been able to see and experience this scenery.

I’m so incredibly happy, in a way I’ve never been able to think about before. I will do anything to protect this life.

Oh, except work, of course.

I renew my vow as I fall asleep with Lady Mary by my side.