05: Vomit-Beam Party! …Or So I Thought, but Meat Is Just Too Good!

“Arwooo!! (My humblest apologies!!)”

“A-arwf? (Um, what? What for?)”

Garo appears in a sliding grovel.

After Len finished grinding the skeletons into a paste with her tail, we came to have a talk with Garo and the Fen Wolves, but as soon as we set foot in the forest, they appeared before us.

“Awoo, awoo…! (My lord, forgive us…!)”

Which then led to this apology.

The rest of the Fen Wolves are groveling alongside Garo.

This begging-for-forgiveness pose with the tucked tail is kind of cute.

Dang it. They’ve got a cuter move than me, and I’m the pet.

“““Awoo, awoo…! (Forgive us…!)”””

The Fen Wolves tremble as though afraid, but I have no idea why.

“Woof, woof? (Again, what for? Just explain what’s going on. I don’t know what you want forgiveness for.)”

I sit down in front of them to make them stop groveling.

“Grwl… (My king, as it happens…)”

Garo collects herself and begins to explain what’s been happening.

“Grwl, grwl. (Some days ago, the number of monsters began to increase.)”

“Bark, bark? (So? Didn’t you tell me that they were increasing when we first met?)”

Back then some natural labyrinth dungeon had appeared, and it was causing monster levels to increase.

“Grw, grwl… (Indeed, and we’ve already discovered many more labyrinths. But in our attempts to cope with them, things here have gotten beyond our control…)”

“Arwf. (Ah well, I can see how that could happen.)”

Last time, with just one labyrinth, the monsters started pushing beyond the boundaries of the forest. If many more have popped up, of course the Fen Wolves are going to be busy.

I’m definitely not blaming them for anything.

I know the Fen Wolves are always working hard.

“G-grwl…! (Th-thank you for your tolerance, my lord…!)”

“Bark, bark. (I wonder if that means those skeleton guys came out of one of those labyrinths.)”

And if they came out after Mare, does that mean Mare is also a labyrinth monster?

“Whinny? (Really?)”

No, I’ve got no idea.

If the person in question doesn’t know, then there’s no way I would.

Mare, with her head sticking out of the stable and cocked to the side, is the picture of happy-go-lucky.

It’d be easy to forget that she’s an undead spirit horse.

“Squeak? (So then, what are we going to do, beloved?)”

Len, tail back to normal mouse size, runs up my back and plops down on my head.

“Squee, squee? (This forest is my darling’s domain, isn’t it? Are you just going to ignore it?)”

“Arwf, arwf. (Hmm, I feel like there’s some other trick here, but for now, we’ll go deal with those labyrinths.)”

But from what I remember, all a regular monster has to do is enter the labyrinth to be controlled by it. Garo said it would use enticing scents to deceive, but it just smelled like toilet air fresheners to me.

If you want to tempt me, you’ll have to use something that smells at least as nice as Lady Mary to lure me in. My lady smells as sweet and fresh as cherry blossoms in the spring, and it takes just one sniff to make me happy.

So let’s hurry up and get this resolved so that I can get right back to her bed, which smells just like her.

“G-grwl! (A-are you going to be helping us, my lord?)”

“Arwf. (Of course I am. You help friends when they’re in need.)”

Though, to be honest, I didn’t have friends in my prior life, so I wouldn’t actually know anything about that!

Maybe friends aren’t actually like that?! Maybe it’s just an ideal! Ha-ha-ha!

…Wow, that’s depressing. I gotta stop thinking about my last life if all I do is bring up sad stuff.

“Grwl?! (F-friends?! Forgive me, my lord…! We Fen Wolves are Lord Routa’s ever-faithful retainers…!)”

Right, I want to get along better with these guys, but they keep trying to invade the human lands.

And if I lose their respect, the Fen Wolves will be harder to control, so I guess it’s best to keep playing at being their king for the moment.

“Bark. (Well, let’s go take care of things. I want to finish this before dawn breaks.)”

“Grwl! (Yes, my lord! I’ll show you the way!)”

“Awoooooo!! (Mouth Laser Beam!!)”

The ultimate destruction magic, my vomit beam, pierces the labyrinth from above, causing it to collapse.

“Grwl! (Splendid, my lord!)”

Turning my back on the destroyed labyrinth, I walk back over to where Garo and the others were watching.

“Squee. (You do well at enduring the scent. It would be hard for me to get any closer. You certainly are amazing, my love. Such firm resolve makes me a proud wife.)”

From her new position atop Garo’s head, Len runs her mouth as always, and as always I ignore it.

“Arwf? (How many are left, Garo? I want to get this over with. I’m counting on you to lead the way.)”

“Grwl! (Yes, my lord! The next labyrinth is this way!)”

We rush off, following Garo through the forest.

“Grwl! (This way, my lord!)”

Soon enough, I get a whiff of that air freshener–like smell, and the entrance to the labyrinth appears.

I walk past Garo and the others, who have halted, and stick my head into the entrance of the labyrinth.

I draw a deep breath, and—

“Awoooooo!! (Mouth Laser Beam!!)”

After my vomit beam destroys this labyrinth, it’ll be back to following Garo.

According to what Garo said, a large number of these have popped up. I can’t wait for this assembly-line work to be over.

“L-Lord Routa?”

“Arwf? (Hmm?)”

We pass a silver-haired elf as we run through the forest.

It’s the oldest of the elves we saved. I guess their village must be somewhere around here.

Which means that if we don’t hurry up and destroy these labyrinths, the village they’ve worked so hard to build might come under attack.

“Bark! Bark! (Sorry! Super-busy, so we’ll have to catch up next time!)”

I’d love to see how they’re doing, but I’ve got to resolve this problem first.

I’d like to visit during the day, when I can spend more time. Ever since I saved them, the elves sort of revere me, so it’s kind of like my own mini harem.

Nothing sexual—they simply fawn over me. Exactly what a pet needs.

We get faster and faster, destroying the labyrinths one after the other.

“Grwl! (Here’s one!)”

“Awoooooo!! (Mouth Laser Beam!!)”

“Grwl! (Another one!)”

“Awoooooo!! (Mouth Laser Beam!!)”

“Grwl! (And here’s one!)”

“Awoooooo!! (Mouth Laser Beam!!)”

“Grw— (Here—)”

“Awooo— (Mouth Laser—)”

We dash through the forest, making sure each and every labyrinth is destroyed.

“Haah…haah…? (Was that the last one…?)”

“Grwl, grwl. (Correct, this labyrinth you’ve just destroyed was the final one. Well done, my lord.)”

Upon hearing Garo’s confirmation, I flop over on my back.

“Arwf… (Ahhh, I’m exhausted… My throat’s sore from all that yelling…)”

“Squee. (With all the high-level spells you just used, your exhaustion is no doubt due to the absurd amount of magical power you expended. A regular being would exhaust themselves and die after only one shot.)”

Looking both impressed and amazed, Len leaps onto my belly.

“Arwf, arwf…… (This extraordinary body of mine sure does come in handy in times like this, but on the other hand, if I weren’t Fenrir I wouldn’t have to pretend I’m a dog or go through things like this in the first place… No, but if that were the case, I wouldn’t have been able to protect my lady from those goblins—wait, but if Zenobia hadn’t been suspicious of me, we probably never would have slipped her guard and gone to town…… Hmm……)”

“Squea? (Whatever are you muttering about?)”

“Arwf. (It’s nothing.)”

I stop thinking about it, as I’m just spinning in circles.

Right now I should just be thinking about how to best protect my pet life.

I’m not going to let anyone get in the way of my lazy-no-good-pup lifestyle.

And as for things like these labyrinths, I’ll take them out with a single shot of my vomit beam.

With the job finished, we gather back at our standard cliff top.

“Grwl. (We thank you, my lord, for helping us take care of our failure of duty.”)

“““GRWL, GRR, GRWL!! (Thank you, my lord!!)”””

With the labyrinths now gone, the scattered Fen Wolf pack has regathered.

They all line up before me and bow deeply.

“Arwf. (Hey, it’s fine. Enough of that. Stand up.)”

Despite me saying this, the postures of the Fen Wolves don’t change.

I’ve got some thank-you gifts for you guys today, so just wait a little longer.

“Arwf. (Come on, Nahura, where are you? I asked for this ages ago.)”

“Squea? (Speaking of, where was she tonight? What was she off doing for you, darling?)”

“Bark. (Oh, I just thought it was the right time is all.)”

“Squeak? (‘The right time’? Right time for what?)”

And just as Len asks her question, the ground begins to glow.

Nahura’s teleportation magic.

“Meow. (Sorry I’m late. There was quite a bit of stuff, so it took a while to get it all together.)”

A heavy bundle lands with a thump next to Nahura.

“Grwl?! (Th-this smell?!)”

The scent is good enough to make Garo unconsciously rise in her position at the head of the pack.

It’s a chunk of meat from the giant boar that has been aged and cured with distilled liquor.

It’s been two months since we hunted the boar. And a large portion of it has been turned by the skilled hands of the old man into rich, flavorful cured meat.

I may have pilfered little bits here and there before the aging was completed, but tonight, I’ve taken all of it.

The old man had said it would just get better with age, but it seemed to be at a good enough point to eat, and I thought this the perfect occasion to share it with everyone.

Of course, I only took the portion that had been set aside by the old man for the Fen Wolves.

I’d never take the portion for the people in the mansion without asking.

“Woof, woof! (Everyone, thank you for your continued hard work in protecting the forest and the mansion! No doubt there’s still work to be done in subduing the monsters that came from the labyrinths, so eat this to regain your strength!)”

The old man’s meals are super-tasty, but I think tearing into a chunk of raw meat like this will have more appeal to the Fen Wolves.

Judging by the pack suddenly leaping to their feet, drool pouring and tails wagging, I’d say my assumption was correct.

“Gr-grwl! (W-wait, everyone! We haven’t received our lord’s permission yet!)”

Garo tries her best to keep things in check, but her tail is also wagging nonstop.

It would be cruel to hold them back any longer.

“Bark! (Go for it!)”

“““AR-AR-AR-AROOOO!! (Thank you, my looooooooord!!)”””

Wow, that’s a little scary.

The Fen Wolves bare their fangs and as one leap onto the hunk of meat.

Munch, munch. Crunch, crunch. Chew, chew. Gulp.

They’re tearing through meat and bone without a care.

They are wild animals, I guess. I grew up in the city and now only eat the old man’s prepared meals.

“Mrow! (This is very good!)”

“Squee! Squee! (It is. This aging, as you called it, is completely different from spoiling. But it’s also different from fresh meat still with the blood dripping from it!)”

Looks like I’m the only civilized one here.

Nahura and Len are both mixed in with the Fen Wolves, digging into the meat.

If that wimpy Mare saw something like this, she’d probably faint dead away.

“Meow? (Are you not going to have any, Routa? It’s delicious!)”

“Squee. (It’s rare for you to not have an appetite, darling.)”

I don’t want to hear anything about appetites from the likes of you two.

I don’t…but if it’s that good, I’m also getting a bit interested in trying it.

“Arwf… (W-well, it’s not like I want to try it or anything…)”

While I’m pretending not to care, it is a little bit lonely to be the only one not eating.

Maybe it’s this body, but I’m not feeling any revulsion to raw meat at all. Quite the opposite: The smell is working up my appetite.

“Woof, woof! (I—I guess I’ll give it a try! Make room!)”

No one can stand in the way of my Fenrir body.

“Arwf arwmf. (Wow, what the— I figured it wouldn’t have much flavor, being raw, but it’s crazy tasty. The fat is so sweet, and it has a kind of whiskey finish!)”

Back in the mansion, we always have the old man’s handmade dishes at mealtimes, so I don’t really get the opportunity to just taste the ingredients on their own.

This is my chance. I’m going to savor it.

“Munch, munch. Crunch, crunch. (And these bones are good, too! The bone marrow in particular!)”

The strong jaws of the Fen Wolves tear through the boar’s bones like butter.

We cram the food into our mouths until not a single morsel remains.

“Arwf… (I’m stuffed… Even the bones being delicious is a new discovery for me.)”

I wonder if those skeleton guys that Len smashed would have been delicious…

Whoops, I just imagined the flavor.

Shlrrp.

“Wh-what was that? Was that just a chill…? What in the world would give me, the Ruler of the Dead, the chills…?”

In a far-flung location, waiting for his underlings to return, the Lich feels a chill run through his fleshless bones.

“What could have caused it…? This feels similar to an audience with the Demon Lord…”

It’s the same sensation he felt when kneeling in front of the lord of all monsters.

Just like being small, pitiful prey before a larger predator.

“It can’t be… Has the Demon Lord been resurrected…?! No, it can’t be that. The hero’s seal still holds strong. If it were to fall, I am certain I would sense it immediately. So what could have caused that feeling…?”

The Lich glares at the empty sky while suppressing the shaking and rattling of his arms.

“And my soldiers have yet to return… What on earth could be happening out west…?!”

The existence of a mighty presence has given the Lich a great sense of unease.

“This graveyard is an important strategic position for the Demon Lord’s army. I cannot go myself. I suppose I have no option but to send more soldiers… I shall have to postpone retrieval of my Nightmare. And this time their priority will be to return with information…”

With shaking hands, the Lich begins to summon a large number of soldiers from their graves.

All the while unconsciously thinking that such an action is futile.

“Arwf. (What a beautiful day.)”

I stick my head out of the carriage to feel the wind.

It’s already almost midsummer, so the inside of the carriage is sweltering.

Today we’re going back to one of my lady’s favorite places, the sacred lake, to cool off.

Though this “sacred” lake is sort of a sham. I don’t think it actually has any holy power.

The true protectors of the forest are that group who revitalized themselves at the cured meat party yesterday and are back today to race around the forest and subjugate monsters.

The hardworking Fen Wolves. Never mind me. I leave the peace of the forest to you guys.

I’ve got important business to attend to. I have to play with Lady Mary today.

“Routa, Routa.”

My lady wraps her arms around my neck from behind and gives me a squeeze.

“Arwf, arwf. (Oh, my lady, you’re so daring. Though I am a dog, so it’s not really an issue. Feel free to hug me as much as you’d like.)”

“Mmmmm, Routa, you’re so soft.”

Aren’t I, though? I’m the absolute softest.

And Lady Mary smells so nice, I always like hugging her or being hugged by her. This sort of thing is a win-win. We’re the perfect pair of mistress and pet.

“Neigh. (You two sure do seem close. I’m kind of jealous.)”

Mare, who’s trotting alongside the carriage, pulls her head close to mine.

“Woof, woof! (No way! Lady Mary is my lady and mine alone! Now leave! Leave!)”

“Whinny. (Y-you don’t have to say it like that.)”

With a whinny Mare pulls her head from the window.

Hmph. I’m the only one my lady can hug.

Get outta here. Go on, git.

“Hey, are you thinking about eating my horse…?”

Zenobia questions me with a threatening voice from her position astride Mare.

“Aroooooo?! (What?! Where did that come from?!)”

Dang it, Zenobia. Are you really still suspicious that I’m going to attack someone?

Just stop already. You know I’d never even hurt a fly.

And what’s with that “my horse” crap? Mare’s part of the Faulks family; she’s not just yours.

“Strong legs, obedient attitude. Immediate understanding of detailed instructions. You don’t often find horses of this quality. You could definitely become a mount of some renown.”

Zenobia takes one hand off the reins and gives Mare a gentle pat on the neck.

“Whinny. (Eh-heh-heh, I’m flattered. This lady’s real nice.)”

Yeah, I guess she is. I’m the only one she ever really attacks.

Please, Zenobia, lay off. I’m begging you, stop treating me like I’m a monster.

Meanwhile, you’re riding that horse, who actually is a monster.

If that transformation magic wore off, you’d see that she’s actually a grotesque zombie horse.

Zenobia’s always so suspicious of everything, so why hasn’t she noticed that?

I wish she were that oblivious when it comes to me!

“M-my lady, we’re almost at the lake, so please have a seat.”

The voice of Toa, the little maid, comes from the driver’s seat.

She’s gripping the reins of the carriage with a slightly nervous expression.

“Whinny? (Hey now, hey now, are you doubting our surefootedness?)”

“Neigh. (Hmm, I’d wager our position in the Faulks family that we’d never cause any choppiness.)”

“Whinny. (Ha-ha-ha, of course not. We’ve been pulling this carriage since the little lady was a baby, after all.)”

Elusive and Grace, ever the old married couple, laugh back and forth with each other.

These two could probably make the trip to and from the mansion and the lake without a driver, no problem.

That said, it’s unexpected to have little Toa there in the driver’s seat.

It’s hard to see her as anything but the clumsy laundry dropper I’ve come to know.

Though her dropping the laundry was kind of my fault, since I was the one who surprised her.

“Ohhh, is she all right up there…?”

Miranda, Toa’s superior, is fretting to herself while keeping an eye on the driving situation.

I guess she’s also in charge of training Toa, and it’s got her feeling nervous.

Oh well, even if Toa’s nervous, it looks like she’s getting used to the reins. But if there’s nothing to worry about, it’s still probably best to heed her warning.

“Arwf. (Come on now, my lady, time to get back in your seat.)”

“Hmph.”

Lady Mary shakes her head while her face is still buried in my fur.

With her still latched onto my neck, I pull my head back in from the window.

And soon thereafter we arrive safely at the lake.

“Take this, and this!”

“Wahhh! Lady Mary, what was that?!”

“Come on, now, Toa, you give it a try. Take this.”

“Please don’t, my lady!”

Lady Mary and Toa have changed into swimsuits and are playing in the water.

The sight of two young girls innocently playing together is sacred.

“M-my lady, I c-can’t swim! Don’t make me go into the deep area!”

“Don’t worry, I can’t swim, either!”

“That doesn’t make it better at all!”

Rather than playing together, perhaps it’s more appropriate to say that Lady Mary is playing with Toa—as in “messing with.”

Toa, on the verge of tears, is being pulled about by Lady Mary.

There just aren’t many others around her age in the mansion, after all.

Toa has been working so hard learning her duties that she hasn’t had much time with Lady Mary, but looking after her is also part of the job.

It seems Miranda will still be her primary retainer, but they also thought someone closer in age would be good for her.

And it definitely looks like my lady is having a lot of fun. She’s more active and merrier than usual.

That’s nice to see.

I swim nearby, but not so close that I’m in the way.

No, I’m definitely not peeping. I’m just watching. Look but don’t touch.

“Whoa, my feet can’t reach the bottom!”

“E-eek!”

Whoops, looks like it’s time to save the day.

I dog-paddle between the two of them and act as their floatie.

“Oh, thank you, Routa.”

“Th-thank you…!”

An innocently smiling Lady Mary and a terrified Toa, dripping snot, cling to my fur.

“Woof, woof. (Don’t mention it. It can be dangerous out this far, so I’m taking you two back to the shallows.)”

For my super Fenrir body, ferrying these two is nothing.

I pull them back toward the shore, where Miranda is waiting, displeased.

“Toa! What part of that was looking after Lady Mary? What would you have done if you both drowned?!”

“M-my apologies, ma’am!”

“There, there, Miss Miranda. Nothing bad happened. Let’s settle this…”

For once, Zenobia isn’t advocating for violence.

Oh, right. It’s probably because she also can’t swim.

Based on Zenobia’s character type, when Lady Mary went under she should have leaped right in.

That she left it to me to handle tells me that Zenobia probably swims like a rock. Case closed.

“Arwf? (Isn’t that right, Zenobia?)”

“H-hmph!”

Zenobia turns away from my smirking side-glance in a huff. Ha, bull’s-eye.

“Now, my lady, if you spend too long in the water, you’ll catch cold. Time to get out to take a break.”

Miranda drapes a towel around the shoulders of Lady Mary and Toa and sits them down in the sun.

“I’m going to prepare some hot tea, so please wait here.”

“Miranda, please don’t scold Toa. It was all my fault…”

“On the contrary, my lady, it is part of a maid’s duties to warn her masters against engaging in dangerous activities. We need to ensure that Toa develops into a proper maid for the Faulks family.”

Miranda is normally very kind to my lady, but she is unmoved when it comes to anyone doing something wrong.

“Which is why you both will receive a scolding. Prepare yourselves for it after you finish your tea.”

Whoops, that spun right back around on Lady Mary.

““O-kay…””

My lady looks despondently after the smirking Miranda.

Poor them—but this is for their development, so I’ll just have to watch over them and lick up the tears.

I also don’t want to get roped into the scolding myself. (Actual motive.)

I move a little ways from the girls and shake my body to get the water off.

Otherwise I’d soak everyone with the spray.

“Squeak?! (Wh-what the—?!)”

My shaking sends Len flying through the air.

“Arwf. (I got it, I got it… Aaand caught you.)”

With her back in my scruff, we head over toward the horses cooling themselves in the shade of a tree.

“Squee…? (What were you thinking…?)”

“Arwf, arwf. (I caught you, didn’t I? It’s your fault for always sleeping on me.)”

I can’t forgive her for being lazier than a pet like me.

“Arwf. (Hey, guys. Good job earlier. Sorry we keep making a ruckus all night.)”

It’s not a bad thing that the skeletons keep showing up night after night, but it’s got to be interfering with the horses’ sleep.

“Whinny. (Don’t mention it. You don’t need to worry about that at all.)”

“Neigh. (He just doesn’t want to look uncool in front of Mare, the old silly.)”

“Whinny. (There you go again, saying too much… Cripes…)”

They’re just an old married couple. That’s something we can all aspire to.

“Squee. (I hope we can be like them at some point.)”

“Arwf. (If you mean as friends, I’m all for it.)”

“Squeak! (No! I mean as a couple! I want a family with lots of children!)”

I don’t think that’s physically possible.

“Bark? (Where’d Mare get off to? She’s not with you two?)”

“Munch, munch, munch? (Huh? What was that? Did someone say something?)”

Mare’s head pops up, her mouth full of grass.

“Arwf… (Come on, either chew or speak, not both… You really are a glutton, aren’t you…?)”

I’m surrounded by deadbeats.

“Arwf. (So it seems like there’s been no problem with you settling in.)”

She’s been helping the old man pull his cart about, and Zenobia seems to like her.

She’s becomes a welcome addition to the family.

…Wait, is Mare becoming a more valued member of the family than I am?

“Neigh. (I’m just so happy. The food’s delicious, and everyone is so nice to me. I don’t remember my past, but I can’t imagine it was any better than this!)”

“Whinny. (Right, forget about the past. You’re a member of the Faulks family now. You can stay here as long as you’d like.)”

“Whinny. (Yes, and we’re so happy to have you here; it’s like having a daughter.)”

“Wh-whinny? (Y-you’re really okay with me being here?)”

“Whicker. (Of course we are.)”

“Whinny. (Certainly—just think of us as family.)”

The old couple’s kindness causes tears to spill from Mare’s eyes.

“Wh-whinny…… (I-I’m……I’m so……sniff, sniff…… I’m…I’m so…… happy. I’m just so happy……)”

“Arwf. (Heh. That’s not something to cry about.)”

If I had fingers I’d have to rub my eyes right about now.

“Squeak! (Hey, darling!)”

“Arwf. (What is it? Don’t interrupt this happy scene.)”

“Squeak. (Well, her body’s becoming transparent. Should we just ignore that?)”

“Arwf?! (What?!)”

Exactly as Len noted, Mare’s body is definitely becoming transparent.

“Whinny. (I truly am so very happy…… Oh, I feel tired all of a sudden. Both my spirit and my body feel so light……)”

“Bark, bark! (Sh-she’s passing on?! L-Len! Hurry! I don’t know if we’re going to make it in time!)”

“Squeak……? (Oh, for crying out loud, is this girl going to start ascending every time she feels happy……?)”

And with the ascension force-canceled and a transformation spell applied, we manage to escape without incident.

It was dusk when we came back from the lake, and by the time we finished dinner, it was already night.

After playing her heart out all day, my lady is fast asleep.

I sneak out of the bed.

“Nggh… Routa… Bad boy…”

Oops, did I wake her?

“You can’t eat the fountain…tee-hee…”

Ah, she’s just talking in her sleep.

Of course I’m not going to eat the fountain, my lady. Come what may, I’m not going to start eating stones. If I’m going to eat something hard, it’s going to be bones. Bones are delicious.

After tucking her back in, I slip from the room.

Everything should be okay, since I’ve destroyed all the labyrinths, but just in case, I’m gonna survey the fields real quick.

There’s always the chance that those skeleton guys didn’t come from the labyrinths, but from elsewhere.

They seemed intelligent, and the way they were trying to retrieve Mare makes me think they’re following someone’s orders, which is out of place for monsters coming from the labyrinths.

And I’m still a bit concerned about what that first skeleton said about a Ruler of the Dead.

I’m sure I remember hearing about someone like that in that fairy tale my lady was reading.

He was one of the Demon Lord’s underlings or something. I don’t really remember, but I’m almost sure that was written in there somewhere.

“Arwf… (Oh shoot, this might be dangerous. I don’t think I’d be able to handle one of the Demon Lord’s underlings…)”

I’m really hoping I’m mistaken.

“Squee. (Who cares, even if they are among the Demon Lord’s followers? They’re no match for you, my darling. You’d be able to defeat a weakling of that caliber with one bite.)”

Len pops her head out of my fur and snorts.

Oh well, when the moment comes, I’ll just let Len deal with it.

She’s our mentally weak mouse and our highly destructive dragon. And she’s great in a pinch.

Go for it, Len! My happy pet life is on your shoulders!

“Sniff sniff? (Hmm? What’s that delicious smell…?)”

Just as we are about to leave the mansion, I catch wind of something that smells good.

It’s meat. I’m smelling meat.

It’s different from the raw meat we ate yesterday. It has the rich aroma of properly cooked meat.

And it’s mixed with the faint hint of a sweet liquor.

It suddenly hits me.

“Arwf, arwf! (This is the sign of a midnight snack!)”

“Squeak. (Excuse me, darling. Weren’t we going to the fields?)”

Right, the fields.

We can’t just ignore them.

I guess there’s only one thing to do.

“Arwf. (You go ahead.)”

“S-squeak? (Wh-what?!)”

“Arwf. (It’ll be fine. Nahura should already be on her way, so you don’t have to be afraid of being there alone.)”

“Squeak! (Do you think me some child who can’t go to the bathroom alone at night?! That’s not the issue here! You, darling, you, you’re just—)”

“Arwf. (Have fun out there.)”

I open the window and shake my head, dropping Len outside.

“Squeak! Squeak! (Darling—! When I get back, you better watch out!)”

I ignore Len scolding me from where she fell on the grass.

My mind is already consumed with the thought of tracing the source of this smell.

It’s entranced me much more than that labyrinth scent.

“Arwf! (Time to get a midnight snack, woohoooo!)”

There’s only one person who would be drinking at this hour.

“Arwf, arwf! (Papa! You know you’ve got gout! If you don’t want me snitching to Hecate, you’d better share your snack!)”

I dash up the stairs and over to Papa’s study, where I start barking.

After a little while, the door opens and a face peeks out.

“So you’ve already sniffed us out, huh? You certainly keep your finger on the pulse of this house, don’t you? Or is it your nose on the pulse?”

It’s old man James, sporting a wry smile.

In a departure from the norm, he’s wearing plain clothes, a black button-down shirt, and it suits him. He’s got the top button undone, which gives him a roguish appearance.

“Arwf? (Huh? You’re having a snack, too, old man?)”

“Oh well, you better come in. Guess it’s a rare guys-only party.”

As the old man lets me in, I see Papa reclining on the study sofa.

“Hey there, Routa. I figured you’d show up.”

Papa, red faced and grinning, lifts his glass in greeting.

“Master, would you like another?”

“Oh, go on, then.”

Old man James fills a tall glass with ice before adding a little bit of amber liquor. He then mixes it thoroughly with a cocktail stirrer until the liquor is chilled and tops the glass off with water.

Judging by the fizzing sound, it must be some of the carbonated water we picked up.

Finally, he adds a slice of lemon and then gives it another quick stir.

He’s giving off more of a bartender feel than his usual chef presence, or maybe he seems like a veteran host from a club. A definite silver fox.

“A-arwf! (Hey, isn’t that like a highball?! Me too! Make one for me too, old man!)”

“What, do you want one, too? Just a minute; it’ll be easier to drink if I give you a tureen.”

The old man makes me a highball as well.

Because he’s served it in a tureen, it looks more like a soup, but I don’t care. So long as I get to drink it.

“Here you are, sir.”

“Ahhh, thank you. And drop the formality, James. Let’s talk like we used to.”

“…Well, I suppose, since none of the other servants are here… Have it your way, Gandolf. We’ll toss formality out the window tonight.”

The two clink their glasses together.

What a cool pair of guys. I should take a picture.

I can’t lift my glass, so I just stick my head in the bowl without a care.

Gulp, gulp. Phwah.

“Arwf. (Wow. You don’t taste the alcohol at all, just a nice, mellow, refreshing flavor. It’s a perfect cocktail, old man.)”

It’s just a simple highball, but the old man’s flexing his skills.

“Hey there, make sure you eat the snacks. I don’t want you getting sick.”

With that, the old man slides a plate in front of me. On it are thin slices of red meat.

“A-arwf…?! (Th-this fresh color, is this…?!)”

“It’s essentially roast beef—or in this case, roast boar, I suppose. It’s finally matured. I made this as a test, so it’ll be just us sampling it. Keep it a secret, all right?”

The old man says this with a shushing motion and a charming wink. I think I’m falling for him.

“Oh-ho, this is delicious. Even without any sauce, it’s got a really strong flavor.”

“When the meat is resting after being cooked, I leave it to sit in a warm broth. Normally you marinate the meat before you cook it, but this way the meat cools as it absorbs the broth. It’s just a little trick.”

“Omf gromf! (D-delicious! And how is it so tender? It’s still red meat, but it’s melting in my mouth!)”

The old man has a look of childish delight as he explains his methods to us.

“Heh-heh, the trick is that I used the carbonated water you two were just drinking.”

“Arwf? (Huh? You can use carbonated water in cooking?)”

Actually, I think the old man said something along those lines to me before, but I was too engrossed in my meal at the time to listen.

Using carbonated water in cooking, huh…? For someone like me, who survived on meals from the convenience store in his past life, it’s beyond the realm of understanding.

“You want to steep the meat for about thirty minutes before cooking it. The protein in the meat reacts with the acidity of the carbonated water to make the meat tender. Also, soaking the meat in water replenishes the moisture that will be lost while cooking, ensuring the meat is juicy.”

“Oh-ho, I don’t know all that much about cooking, but you sure do know your stuff, James. I’ve never met a chef with such a desire to learn nor a chef with half your passion. The king really made a mistake in letting you go.”

Ah, so something really did happen that caused the old man to end up here at the mansion. I guess he was once the head chef for the royal family. But now I really want to know what happened.

“Heh, I’ll be a chef no matter where I am, so long as there are people who want to eat. I just didn’t fit in there at court. I’m enjoying myself a lot more now.”

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad I lured you out here.”

“Well, you really got me out of a tough spot. I thought my goose would be cooked before I ever got to be a chef again.”

The old man makes a slicing motion across his throat, and he and Papa burst into laughter.

“Arwf… (Hey, now…)”

That’s not something to laugh about. Talk about gallows humor.

“Speaking of which, I once had a major incident regarding stolen ingredients.”

“Ahhh, you mean at that big shop where you used to apprentice? The one with the owner who was a major pain in the ass?”

“That’s the one, I just remembered. You were telling that fatty to lose weight and such before making off with the entire new shipment of meat.”

“Yeah, well, they found me out soon enough. If Lady Marianna hadn’t stepped in to save me that time, who knows what would have happened?”

The two certainly do seem to have known each other for quite some time. They’re very animated as they recall stories that only the two of them know.

“If it weren’t for that little mishap, I never would have met my wife.”

“That sure does take me back. And little Mary looks more and more like Lady Marianna every year. She’s certainly going to be a heartbreaker.”

“…S-sniff, and then, someday, she’s going to become someone’s wife, isn’t she…?!”

“Hey there, don’t start crying. It’s still way too early to be talking like that. Have another drink. We’ve still got the rest of the night ahead of us.”

This is the first time I’ve heard the name Marianna. It sounds like she’s Lady Mary’s mother, but based on the fact that I’ve never met her and what they were saying, I can only guess she’s passed away.

And with my lady’s propensity for loneliness, I’m thinking she might have passed away when Lady Mary was still pretty young.

I’m going to have to give her more snuggles that usual tomorrow.

That’s all a pet like me can really do.

“…Hmm? James, do you hear anything?”

“What?”

Still sniffling, Papa raises his head.

“It sounded like something being pounded down quite some distance away… Listen, there it was again…”

“I don’t hear anything. Maybe you’re drunk and hearing things?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’m not that drunk just yet. I definitely heard something. It went whack, whack…”

Yep, Papa’s right on the money.

I forgot about the fields.

Sounds like our friends showed up again today.

I guess that’s the end of my drinking party. I’ve got to go finish this before it escalates.

Leaving the two of them to puzzle over the noise, I slip out of the room.

I use my tail to close the door and then leap from the second-story window.

After a running start, I vault over the walls of the mansion and then make a beeline straight for the fields.

The sound of Len’s tail thumping the ground gets louder and louder, but as I reach the fields I let out a shout.

“Arwf?! (H-how many of them are there?!)”

The moon illuminates countless skeletons.

There’s practically an army of them.

“Neeeeeeeigh!! (Ghosts are scary! Ghosts are super-scaaaaaary!!)”

But you’re a ghost yourself.

I pass the stables, where Mare is freaking out, and head toward where Len is fighting the skeletons.

“Squeak! (You’re late, darling! What were you doing?!)”

Sorry, I was having fun at a guys-only party.

“Mew! (Ah! I can see the scraps around your mouth, Routa! You were having a midnight snack while we were here working!)”

“A-arwf! (W-worry about what’s happening here! Over there, over there!)”

“Meow? (Hmm?)”

A skeleton has snuck up behind the befuddled Nahura.

I make it a split second before Nahura is run through with a rusty spear.

Nahura is hidden under me as I protect her from the skeletons’ attacks.

The spears break against my hide, and I don’t take any damage.

“Arwf! (It doesn’t hurt, but it’s still scary as hell!)”

“Mew. (Whoa, thanks for that, Routa.)”

“Squeak?! (Hey, you, what do you think you’re doing with my husband?!)”

The destroyed weapons go flying before Len’s tail smashes into the skeletons a moment later.

But there are still so many of them. It’s a slow burner of an assault.

“Squeak!! (Ughh, this is so irritating!!)”

Deciding the smashing wasn’t doing enough, Len changed to sideswiping with her tail.

The skeletons are destroyed, and it will be a little bit before they’re re-formed.

But just look at the size of this army. Are we really going to have the power to defeat all of them?

“Squeak! (Hmph, it doesn’t matter how many of them there are. Weaklings are still weak!)”

Mounting my head, Len assumes an imposing stance.

“Arwf! (Phew, look at you go, Len! We can always count on you.)

Go for it, Faulks family wrecking ball number one!

Just in case you’re wondering, Zenobia is number two.

But she’s probably snoring back at the mansion right now.

Sure, she’s a former adventurer, but every time we have to wipe out monsters, she’s no use at all. Oh well. If she were here, she’d find out that we’re all monsters, too, so maybe she should just sleep this one out.

“Squeak?! (What are you saying?! Aren’t you going to help out, darling?!)”

“Meow! (Exactly. Come on, just use that super-magic of yours to wipe them out in an instant!)”

“Arwf! (Idiots! If I did that, I’d wipe out the fields or the forest or something! It’d tip off everyone in the mansion that we’ve been fighting out here!)”

And that would spell the end of my pet life, so why the hell would I do that?

“Arwf! Arwf! (Just look at Len! She’s only fighting with her tail, without reversing the entire transformation! And yet she still has to be careful to not cause a ruckus.)”

“Squeak, squeak! (Oh, wait, I forgot! If I revert completely to my dragon form my power will double! Better yet, I can immolate them with my fire spells!)”

She hasn’t been careful at all. She’s just spent so long as a mouse that she forgot she was actually a dragon.

“Woof!! (Whoa! Stop! You’ll burn the forest to the ground!!)”

“GROOOAR! (Oh well, don’t try to stop me, darling! I will cleanse them all in a sea of flame!!)”

“Woof! Woof! (Stop! I’m begging you, stop! You’re going to destroy my pet life!)”

As I’m desperately trying to hold back the meathead dragon, a black shadow leaps toward the skeletons.

The shadow tackles one of the skeletons before biting through its skull.

“Aroo! (Please excuse my lateness, my king!)”

It’s Garo, authority figure of the Fen Wolves.

“Woof! (Hey, everyone! You came!)”

“Grwl! (Of course we did! We rushed to be by your side, my king! We shall not fail you a second time!)”

The Fen Wolves, comparable to the skeleton horde in number, dive into the clattering ranks.

“Woof! Woof! (Be careful! Until their magic runs out, these guys just keep regenerating! Don’t drop your guard just because you think you’ve defeated them!)”

“Grw, grwl! (Did you hear that, you guys?! The king desires total annihilation! Kill, kill, destroy them all!)”

……No, I don’t think I said anything that disturbing, actually……

“““Ar-ar-arooo! (Kill! Kill! Kill!)”””

The wolves howl their war cries and begin to push the skeletons back.

Wow, they’re so reliable. So much so that I almost feel like I’m going to wet myself.

Wolves with lips drawn and fangs bared are terrifying.

But I should stop being intimidated by the battle. I’ve got to check on something.

“Bark, bark! (Hey, Garo! We definitely destroyed all the labyrinths, right?)”

I block a scythe on its way down, snapping it against my hide, and Garo takes the opportunity to crush the skull of the skeleton.

“Grwl! (Yes, without question! And the number of monsters in the forest influenced by their magic is dropping as well!)”

Which confirms these guys are coming from somewhere else.

That Ruler of the Dead guy—whoever he is—must be controlling them.

“Woof! Woof! (Okay, everyone! Let’s finish these guys off before anyone in the mansion notices!)”

“““Awroo! (Yes, sir!)”””

Even with their expert hunting power, it still takes the Fen Wolves a while, but the skeletons are eventually vanquished.

“N-Nightmare, you, why won’t you return to the Ruler of the Dead…?”

The final skeleton turns to look at the stables and reaches out as its body crumbles.

“Neigh! (E-eek! I don’t know any Ruler of the Dead! P-please don’t come any closer!)”

“GROOOAR!! (Hmph!!)”

Len stands in the skeleton’s way, blocking it from approaching the frightened Mare, before crushing it with her forelimbs.

“Arwf. (Aw, we should have kept him alive for questioning.)”

“GROOOAR. (We wouldn’t get anything out of loyal soldiers like these. And in the unlikely event that he did tell us anything, we’d have no way to confirm if he was telling the truth or not. You can only trust what you see with your own eyes.)”

Len just said something clever. I don’t have a response to that.

“Bark, bark…… (Yeah, but I would have at least liked to know where these guys are coming from……)”

“Grw, grwl. (My lord, it appears that these skeletons are coming from somewhere in the east.)”

“Arwf? (You know where they’re coming from?)”

“Grwl. (Sir, with our Fenris Wolf noses we should be able to track their scent back to their origin.)”

The assembled wolves bark as one, offering to take care of the tracking.

They really are dependable. They should all look forward to another reward.

“GRAAAR! (Right, let us go, my darling! Time to destroy the root of this evil!)”

“Ugh, do I have to?” is what I’d like to say, but Papa already heard something today, despite being drunk, so if another army shows up tomorrow, we’re sure to be found out.

If we’re going to do it, it has to be today.

“Arwf… (But still, Ruler of the Dead…? If what that book said is true, he’s one of the Demon Lord’s generals.)”

I just keep worrying that we might not stand a chance.

“GARO. (Hmph, the Demon Lord’s underlings are no match for you, darling.)”

“Grw, grwl. (I agree with Lady Dragon. None can stand up to you, King Routa.)”

Ughh, their shining faith in me is painful.

I’m really just a puppy, and inside I’m just a former wage slave.

Where exactly is all this misplaced faith coming from?

Have I ever shown you anything commendable? I’m almost sure I haven’t.

But if I don’t do something now, that spells the end of my pet life.

“Arwf… (Oh well, I don’t really want to do it, but I guess I have to…)”

I just want a peaceful, lazy life, so why do I keep getting myself into one mess after another?

It’s probably because that airheaded goddess doesn’t listen to people.

If I ever see her again, I’m definitely giving her a piece of my mind.

“Grwl! (Everyone! Our king heads to battle! Form ranks!)”

“““Ar-ar-aroooo! (King! King! Use us as you will!)”””

The two columns of Fen Wolves go ahead of us into the forest.

“Squeak. (If I were to fly, the people back at the mansion might notice me.)”

Back in mouse form, Len clambers up my body and takes up a spot on my head.

“Mewl. (In that case, I’ll join you up there.)”

Nahura jumps up onto my back and curls up.

“Arwf, arwf? (Do you two ever think about walking for yourselves?)”

“Squeak. (We were fighting only moments ago. Let us have a little break. Though I suppose that even if you weren’t fighting, darling, you were still watching our backs and guarding the field and the horses from being overrun.)”

Nope, that was me hanging back out of fear.

You’re completely overestimating me.

“Wh-whinny? (H-hey, guys?)”

“Arwf? (What is it?)”

“Neigh, neigh! (Why…? Why are you doing all this to protect me? Those ghost guys are only coming here because they’re after me…! Maybe I was friends with them or something!)”

Mare seems pretty stuck on what that last skeleton said.

The skeleton said to return to the Ruler of the Dead. Friend or otherwise, it does imply that Mare came from the same place as the skeletons.

“Woof. (No, things are different now.)”

“Whinny…? (How so…?)”

“Woof, woof. (You’re part of the Faulks family now. Which means you aren’t with those guys anymore.)”

“Squee. (That’s right—we may pick on you, but you’re already part of the family. We’re not going to abandon you now.)”

“Mew. (That goes for me, too.)”

Len and Nahura join me in reassuring Mare.

“Neigh… (B-but still…)”

“Arwf! (And besides, you still owe us for what you stole from the fields! You still have to work that debt off!)”

If Mare, who has been saddled with all the hard labor, were to vanish, who knows what the old man would say?

Zenobia would no doubt straight up accuse me of eating her. No doubt about it.

She definitely wouldn’t miss that opportunity.

“N-neigh…? (A-are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here…?)”

In response to Mare’s hollow-sounding question, Elusive and Grace nuzzle into her from either side.

“Neigh? (Isn’t it obvious?)”

“Whinny? (We’re family now, aren’t we?)”

“Wh-whinny… (G-Gramps… Granny…)”

Mare squeezes her tear-filled eyes shut before reopening them with renewed determination.

“Whinny! (Routa! Please let me go along with you!)”

“Arwf? (Are you sure? I’m fine with it, but aren’t you going to be scared?)”

Mare’s a bigger scaredy-cat than I am. I never thought she’d say something like that.

“Neigh! (I want to know what I really am! And more than that, I want to stay with you guys! Which means I need to tell this Ruler of the Dead person to stop sending skeletons after me!)”

“Arwf. (Okay.)”

I don’t think he’ll be the kind of person to listen to us telling him to stop, but if Mare wants to find out what she really is, who am I to tell her no?

Though she did run away once already, so if things start going south, I wonder if she’ll take off again.

Oh well. If she does, you can bet I’ll be right behind her.

“Arwf? (Well then, shall we?)”

“Neigh! (Let’s go!)”

Following after Garo and the others, we head off toward the eastern part of the forest.