Epilogue

The next morning, we split ways in the forest, and I head back to the mansion.

Where—

“Routa, you stink! Just where have you been playing?!”

“Whimper. (Hrmmm. My lady, please don’t run away! Don’t hate me!)”

After Hecate transported us back with her teleportation magic, I washed myself off in the fountain, but it seems like I didn’t get all the smell off.

The stench of the graveyard is embedded in my fur.

When my lady woke up this morning and realized I wasn’t there, she tracked me down and jumped me, burying her face in my chest. A moment later she stiffened up, and this happened.

“Hnnnnh! (I-it’s not BO! It’ll come off if I wash myself properly! I’ll wash better and it’ll come right off! Don’t get rid of me, my lady!)”

“Bath! Right now! And until you get nice and clean in the bath, there will be no snuggles!”

Does it really smell that bad? My lady is hiding around a corner down the hall and refuses to come any closer.

She’s got a menacing look with her cheeks puffed out.

She’s super-cute like this. I want to rub up against her.

But if I were to do that now, she’d just get even more angry with me, so I’d better be a good boy and head to the bath.

“A-arwf… (F-farewell, my lady, until we meet again…)”

With hands pinching noses, the maids lead me like a lamb to slaughter toward the bath, where I am thoroughly cleansed.

“Arwf? (Hey there, Mare, Elusive, Grace, how’re you all doing?)”

Thoroughly scrubbed down to the bone, I was kicked out of the bathroom by the maids with a “And don’t you come back!” After my fur dried, I headed out to the stables.

Even with our midnight battles, it doesn’t look like there’s any damage to the nearby fields.

Oh, the old man’s out inspecting those very fields.

He’s muttering about something, but it’s probably only that thing where people talk to their vegetables.

“Neigh! (I feel great! Thanks to your magic, Routa, I’m feeling much better than before!)”

Nice, very nice. Repay my magic loan with lots of hard work.

Ever since Mare showed up, the old man’s been giving me fewer and fewer chores.

Which has led to me being able to double my nap time.

“Neigh. (Thank you, Routa.)”

“Whinny. (Thank you for bringing us such a wonderful little girl. Thank you so much. Ever since you’ve arrived, this mansion has had nothing but good tidings.)”

Yeah, I wonder about that.

Sometimes it feels like I’ve brought nothing but trouble.

“Whicker. (The mistress is so much healthier, and Mr. James seems to have found a new zest for his work. Everyone in the mansion seems so much brighter, and there’s no mistaking that it’s all thanks to you.)”

Aw geez, you going on like that is making me bashful.

I’d say I’m the one who was saved. Taking on the role of pet has done wonders for me.

“…Wh-what the heck is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?!”

Whoa, what’s going on?!

The old man’s yell suddenly rings out from the fields.

“Arwf, arwf? (Hey, old man, what is it?)”

I run over to where he’s fallen backward.

“M-m-my vegetables… My vegetables…!”

“Arwf? (The vegetables?)”

I follow his gaze.

And there—

“Arwffff! (They’re huuuuuuuuge!)”

The tops of massive carrots are popping up out of the ground.

But not just carrots. All the vegetables surrounding the carrot patch are giant.

“Squee. (Those look big enough to feed us for a long while.)”

To avoid being seen by the old man, Len’s murmuring from her position tucked away in my fur.

“Arwf, arwf. (Now, let’s not get carried away. But still, what’s with this size?)”

They’re too big for the old man to pull with both hands. They’ve got to be a couple hundred kilos at least.

“Squee? (Well, it’s got to be that, right?)”

And exactly what is that?

Seems like Len has some idea as to what’s happened.

“Squeak, squeak? (Darling, isn’t this around where you urinated?)”

The first time I saw one of those grim reaper–looking skeletons, I guess I did pee myself a little bit out of surprise.

And then Len shattered the skeleton with her tail.

“Squeak. (Well, that would be it. It looks like Fenrir urine mixed with undead bone dust makes for good fertilizer for the fields.)”

Huh? My piss has that much of an effect?

…Do you think it’s okay to eat these?

“Squeak, squeak… (They’re certainly unusual, but they shouldn’t cause any harm. Rather, they should be packed with nutrients and do nothing but good for the body. It could probably even be classified as a magical medicine. Were we to take them to market, they would no doubt command a hefty sum…)”

For real? I just unknowingly created a new magic item.

“Squeak. (My urine has a similar effect. The grasses you took when you came to my lair are quite similar.)”

Ah, the wonder drug that I needed to save my lady.

The wyrmnil, I believe it was called.

The precious magical medicine that could never be found in the marketplace.

And yet was growing all over Len’s lair.

A veritable field of shining wyrmnil, growing at the end of the cave.

“Squeak. (Yes, yes, exactly. It grows all over my toilet area. I thought it strange that you wanted such a thing.)”

…What? Toilet?

Did you just say toilet?!

“W-woof! Woof?!! (Wh-what did you make my lady drink?!!)”

“Squeak?! (Wh-what?! Isn’t it thanks to that herb that she’s doing better?! You should be thanking me instead of yelling at me! You can’t find another magical herb that compares to grass watered with dragon urine! Maybe you want to try drinking it directly?!)”

“Woof! Woof (Shut up already! Wyrmnil?! More like Urinil!)”

After all, wyrmnil is an extract of the magical properties of dragon urine.

Heh, what a name. I’ll have to introduce whoever named wyrmnil to one of my vomit beams.

“Whinny! (Carrots! Carrots! Look at them!)”

At least Mare is excited.

With this much, I can imagine a fair amount will be going to her and the other horses.

But still, what’s the old man going to do with these giant vegetables?

“Heh, heh-heh-heh. Are these meant to challenge me?”

Whoops, looks like he’s getting excited, too.

“I’ve no lack of subjects to test new recipes on! You guys! I’m leaving the poison checking to you!”

Poison checking?! Not sampling?!

Sure, the ingredients are strange, but still!

Oh well, not even the undead could upset my stomach, and they were in fact pretty tasty.

And I wouldn’t want my lady to be served anything that might be dangerous, after all.

Okay then, bring it on!

“Whinny! (Me, too! I’ll test, too! Please!)”

We ate a lot of vegetable dishes after that.