04: A Family Vacation! …Or So I Thought, but We Hooked Something Huge!

It’s a peaceful afternoon as I doze in the study.

I’ve successfully shrunk my overgrown body down to its previous size, one with which I can just barely insist I’m a dog, and now I’m even lying at Papa’s feet like everything’s normal. I feel exactly like a rich person’s dog should.

Papa’s study is quiet and cool, and I recently realized that makes it a perfect place for an afternoon nap. The rainy season is over, and it’s gotten hotter, meaning it’s harder to go outside the mansion these days. But here, I’ve found a pretty great spot.

The sound of Papa’s pen writing on his documents is a good lullaby; it lulls me to sleep. And occasionally he’ll pet me as though he’s just remembered I’m here, which is nice. It seems to me this will be my favorite spot for afternoon naps for a while. Papa, for his part, is handling piles of documents, so maybe petting me is a good distraction for him.

Miranda stands quietly by his side. She readies any materials Papa needs before he even asks, puts on a new pot of tea before the old one gets cold, and, if she has time, tidies up without making a sound. She’s the perfect maid. Toa has been looking after Lady Mary more and more recently, so it seems Miranda is helping Papa with her newfound free time. She sure is skillful at assisting him, though. Maybe this was her real job all along.

“Miranda?”

“These documents, sir?”

“Miranda?”

“One spoonful of sugar for your tea, sir?”

Miranda is just too competent. For some time now, her name is the only word that’s been coming out of Papa’s mouth.

I idle my time away, watching the two of them work. No matter how much I sleep, nobody will ever criticize me. I’m allowed to do it. After all, I’m a pet. Getting coddled is my job. And clerical work definitely isn’t!

Hya-ha! My past as a corporate slave? Ancient history! Three cheers for pet life.

“Phew. I’ve made a lot of progress on my work today. Maybe it’s because Routa is here.”

Wait, really? I’m a net benefit? If petting me is refreshing for you, then you can pet me all you want.

I lean into Papa’s hand as he pats me on the head.

Still, Papa, you’ve been working nonstop since morning. Maybe you should take a break already. It really seems like you work way too much.

I can’t remember ever seeing him relaxing. Even on that trip to the Royal Capital, he only joined Lady Mary and the rest of the sightseeing group at the very end. I worry he’ll die of overwork like I did in my past life.

“Master, why not take a short break?”

As if to manifest my thoughts, Miranda prompts him to take a breather.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right… And that one’s done. Miranda, shall we finish up those documents over there next?”

“…You’re not listening,” Miranda grumbles with a sigh, mildly appalled.

Even her sigh doesn’t seem to have made it to Papa, though. He takes another document, quickly scans the contents, and signs it before moving on to the next one.

Papa is an abnormally busy person, being a marquis out on the frontier and also a wealthy merchant—both jobs that require a lot of hard work. He probably built this mansion deep in the mountains, so far from civilization, for his once-sickly daughter. It must be a lot easier to do this type of work in the capital, where people congregate.

But Papa doesn’t do that. No matter how busy he is, he always scrapes together time to eat with Lady Mary, and he tries hard to somehow make time for family affairs. Of course, as a result, he leads an unhealthy lifestyle of heavy drinking and sleep deprivation.

And as part of the family myself, I find myself seriously worrying about his health. But he can’t understand what I say, and as his servant, Miranda would never be too firm with him.

Old man James, his friend from way back, is probably the closest in position to him in the mansion, but he works as hard as Papa, if not even harder. I hope the old man takes a break soon—he might collapse. Not only does he provide all the mansion’s food, he even takes care of the horses doing work in the fields.

Hmm. No matter how I think about it, the men in this mansion work too hard. If only there were someone, somewhere, who could tell them off for me.

And just as I was wondering about it, it happened.

“You’ve been worrying everyone so much, Gandolf. What a bad boy you are.”

No sooner do I hear that rebuke than Hecate flutters down into the study on the wind.

That’s right—Hecate can do it! She’s the mansion’s main doctor, a grand magician, and the one who knows Papa’s weaknesses from when he was young. Papa and the old man would have to listen to her.

“Arwf! (Tell him, Hecate!) ”

When I give her a yell, she returns it with a wink, as if to say, “Leave it to me.”

“Doc… Dr. Hecate! Please say something before coming around like that!” cries Papa, blaming her as he scrambles to catch the documents the wind blew around.

“What would be the point then? If I didn’t come unannounced, I’d never know what kind of life you’re living. You can’t get out of this by pretending to be healthy when I’m here. I’m your doctor, after all.”

Her argument is sound. But what’s also sound is the fact that she always suddenly shows up with spatial magic, startling me. Yes, I’m talking about the meal moocher you’re supposed to be looking after. Her abruptly appearing on my back is bad for my heart. Please feed her the proper food yourself like you’re supposed to. Nahura even has a phobia of sweet things now, after all the failed sweets you make her eat.

Both my critical stare and Papa’s voice, however, are then shut down.

“Your manner of living is inexcusable.”

As Papa is still trying to finish the paperwork, Hecate steals his pen using levitation magic.

“Doctor’s orders, Gandolf. Today you are to do nothing but rest. For the entire day. Not just you, either—you’re going to make today a holiday for everyone at the mansion.”

“What?! I mean, I can’t just… The servants have their own work arrangements. Won’t suddenly giving them a day off put them in a troubling spot?” says Papa as he tries to snatch the pen back; it continues to flutter around and avoid him.

“Please leave that to me, Master. The maids and I have already finished our work for tomorrow ahead of schedule,” Miranda tells him, smiling. “And the same applies for you. Those documents earlier were the last records to be done today.”

Oh. There were some behind-the-scenes dealings beforehand, huh? Miranda was probably helping with Papa’s job all morning so that he’d finish early.

As the two women smile at him, Papa leans back in his chair in resignation and loosens his bolo tie. “I surrender. Maybe I have been too preoccupied with work lately. If you’ve put in all this work for it, then I can’t exactly refuse. Please tell the others they are to fully enjoy a day of rest.”

As soon as Papa says that, the door to the study opens and maids flood through.

“Yes! Way to go, Master! We’ve been wanting to go spend time at the lake!”

“Thank you, Lady Hecate. I’m looking forward to the latest in swimsuit attire from the capital.”

“…Time to swim. A lot.”

Beginning with Connie, Mira, and Betty, the three girls I recently met, the maids form a circle around Hecate, talking about their plans for the holiday. They seem to have decided on going to the lake already. We’ll certainly be fine there, even with so many people going.

“Routa, Routa! Let’s play a lot today!”

The young lady jumps up and down, holding my front legs as I sit.

“Arwf, arwf! (Awesome! Playing in the water is the most fun thing to do on hot days!) ”

The once-quiet study is now filled with the high-pitched voices of the female staff.

And then we began to prepare for everyone at the mansion to go to the lake.

“Have a good time,” says the old gardener, the only one staying at the mansion, as he sees us off. He politely refused to come, saying the best break for him was to relax while gazing at the garden, so it’s out of our hands. Not leaving anyone to mind the place while we’re gone might have come back to bite us in the butt anyway.

“““Bye!”””

The maids wave goodbye to the old man from inside the carriage. Normally they solemnly and skillfully go about their duties. On their days off, however, they really start frolicking.

Both the maids and the food supplies are on board the large horse-drawn carriage pulled by our very own black horse, Mare, with James gripping the reins. The others are riding on the usual coach pulled by Elusive and Grace, horse husband and wife. Zenobia is their driver, and Papa is inside the coach with Hecate, the latter preaching to the former to reduce his workload a little more.

As for me, I’m walking alongside the carriages with Lady Mary on my back. Now that boot camp has retrained my body, I feel light as the wind. Carrying the young lady is like carrying nothing at all.

Man, it’s fun to run.

“Don’t you dare drop Lady Mary, you hear me?” warns Zenobia from her coachman seat.

“Hee-hee.” Lady Mary hugs me tightly. “You’d never drop me, right, Routa?”

That’s good—as long as you’re grabbing me like that, you’ll never fall.

“I know! Let’s all have a race to the lake! Do your best, Routa!”

“Woof, woof! (Great! Leave it to me!) ”

I speed up a little bit, making sure the young lady stays on my back.

“Hey, wait! I just got done saying…”

“Whinny. (Oh my. The children are so energetic.) ”

“Whicker! (Well, we haven’t lost yet, either!) ”

Elusive and Grace raise their own speed to match my acceleration. Both of them are full of energy despite their age.

“W-wait, we shouldn’t go too fast…!”

Not happening, Zenobia. After all, although you’ve convinced yourself you know how to drive the coach, all you’re really doing is holding on to the reins. Elusive and Grace are intelligent; they’re considering everything by themselves, from operating the coach to staying on course toward the destination.

“Neeeigh! (You all look like you’re having fun! I’ll join in, too!) ”

Mare, pulling the large luggage-laden carriage, rapidly increases her speed.

“Oh, not bad,” says the old man, impressed by Mare’s horsepower. “All right—we’ve made sure everything is tied down in here. We can go as fast as we want! Have at it!”

The maids let out yelps as the old man, instead of stopping Mare, lets her go as fast as she wants.

“Chef!” calls Betty. “All this carriage bouncing is making my butt hurt!”

“Gah-ha-ha! That’s because it ain’t thick enough! You should try eating more meat!”

“Nobody asked you!”

As the carriage barrels forward, Betty flings herself at the old man.

And so our dirt race to the finish line—the lake—begins.

“Agh, my butt hurts…”

“Are you all right, Betty?”

“How are you all fine?”

“…Well, it’s because we’re thicker there—”

“Not that again! …Ugh. Toa, you’re the only one who understands my pain… Let’s form a pancake alliance!” says Betty as she rubs her bottom and leans against Toa.

“Huh? I didn’t find it especially painful, either…”

“You… You traitor! Are you in the middle of a growth spurt?! Is that it, you little…!”

“Eek! W-watch where you’re touching me!”

The maids all get along pretty well, huh?

As the group of women hurriedly prepares for the holiday by putting up parasols, laying down blankets, and such, I lie sprawled out in the shade.

Help them? I’m a pet dog. What do you want from me?

“To think we’d be wearing these swimsuits again…”

“Yes, it still takes a little bit of courage… The master and Lord James said they’d go to the other bank to fish out of consideration, though, so…at least we don’t have any men looking at us.”

Zenobia and Miranda are melancholic as they unfold their risqué bathing suits.

Papa and the old man said it would be too stimulating for them, so they left together to go fishing. I don’t know where they’d been keeping them, but they had real nice fishing poles ready to go. Seems like they’ll actually enjoy the holiday a lot.

They finish setting up shortly, and everyone starts to relax wherever they feel like. Some go swimming, some sunbathe, some play card games in the shade—everyone has their own way of having fun.

Everyone’s wearing a swimsuit, too, because Hecate went to the Royal Capital to buy one for each person. As always, she spares no expense when it comes to entertainment.

“Squeak! (Cease this! My beloved is the only one permitted to do as he pleases with my body!) ”

“Mrrrow. (You have a long way to go, Lady Len. Compared to being Mistress Hecate’s test subject, this is like heaven.) ”

Nahura and Len have been captured by the maids, who normally don’t get a chance to coddle them during their day-to-day work, and now they’re being mobbed. The maids are touching and petting and kissing them, all to a continuous chorus of the word cute used in one way or another. Len, squeaking madly, is trying to flee, but Nahura seems used to it; she remains mostly listless, letting them have their way.

I left that ring of maids at the first opportunity, and now I’m floating in the water to cool off. I’m happy to let the maids shower me with attention, but we’ve come all the way to the lake. It’d be a waste not to swim.

The young lady and the others are playing in the water nearby. Lady Mary, appearing to have just thought of something, whispers in Zenobia’s ear, and Zenobia nods in agreement.

“Here we go, then, my lady!”

“Okay! You can start!”

“Up we go!”

Zenobia picks up the young lady, who has brought her knees up to her chest, then launches her away with one hand. Lady Mary spins as she flies through the air before cleanly splashing down again.

“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That’s fun! That’s really fun!” she cries out in jubilation after getting her head back above the water. Apparently she isn’t able to swim, but in a very Mary-like way, she doesn’t fear the water whatsoever.

“L-Lady Mary!” Toa, who also can’t swim, blanches as she watches them from the shallows. “Lady Mary, that kind of game seems dangerous!”

“Oh, you mean you don’t know, Toa?” says Lady Mary with a blank look directly at Toa, who wants to somehow get her out of the water. “Games are fun because they’re dangerous.”

She knew it was dangerous, and she still did it. A premeditated crime, then. Toa looks ready to faint from her master’s aggressive words.

Well, Zenobia is watching her, so she won’t drown or anything. It looks like the day Toa becomes a maid who can excellently accompany her lady is still a long way off.

As I’m thinking about it and drifting across the lake, I suddenly find I’ve ended up floating over near Zenobia.

“Mm. This is pretty good training. The young lady’s body is unfortunately too light, but still…”

“Arwf. (You can already hurl a person with one hand. That’s not enough?) ”

What’s gonna happen if she trains even more? What do gorillas even evolve into?

“What? Did you want to join in, too?”

“Arwf?! (Huh?! No, absolutely not, no thank you!) ”

“Don’t be shy. You should be heavy enough to weigh me down.”

I thought we’d finally communicated successfully for the first time in a while, but I couldn’t even get her to listen to me.

Zenobia violently grabs my hind legs.

“Goooooooo!!”

“Arrrrrrwf!! (Noooooooooo!!) ”

She hurls me like Murofushi might send a hammer spinning through the air.

“Arrrrwf! (Too much foooooorce!) ”

“Wow, Routa, that’s amazing!”

“Isn’t… Isn’t that a little far?”

I sail over Lady Mary’s and Toa’s heads, flying, flying, flying…

Wait, aren’t I on a direct collision course with the opposite shore?

What a gorilla! She’s really made the moniker her own. Such arm strength.

Anyway, I’m scared of crashing into the ground like this, so I splay my limbs out to add to the air resistance, weakening my momentum. Then I do a twirl in midair and land on the far shore.

“Arwf, arwf, arwf! (Ten points, ten points, ten points, ten points, ten points—a perfect score!) ”

I strike a dashing pose. That was a wonderful landing, if I do say so myself.

“Arwf… (Ahh, that scared me. Did she even hold back with that throw?) ”

If I’d screwed up the landing, I’d have been buried in the ground, a me-shaped silhouette left on the surface. I can easily see that having happened.

“Arwf, arwf. (I could swim back, but I’d rather not get thrown like that again.) ”

Now that I’m over here anyway, I’ll go look for Papa and the old man. They said they’d be fishing on the far shore, so they should be around here somewhere.

“Heeey, Routa! Over here!”

I turn to see the old man, wearing a straw hat, waving in my direction. His and Papa’s faces are beet red—have they already started drinking?

“Woof, woof! (No fair. Let me have some, too!) ”

They have a chunk of ice, probably something Hecate made with magic, and a small cask is inside. They’ve been quaffing from it while they fish.

Well, if you drink too much again and she gets mad at you for your uric acid levels going up, don’t come crying to me. Instead, I, your loyal dog, will do you the favor of drinking the cask dry. I beseech you, good sirs—the beer!

I sit between them as their feet soak in the edge of the water. The fishing poles, hanging over the shore, haven’t even budged.

“Arwf? (How’s it going, you two? Are they biting today?) ”

I peer into their bucket of water. Nothing’s in there yet.

“Arwf, arwf. (Oh, come on. Can’t you do better than that?) ”

“Why are you looking at us like that? We’re after a big one,” boasts the old man as he pours me some more beer. “If any small fry bite, we let ’em go.”

“Arrrwf? (Reaaaally? You’re not being a sore loser?) ”

As I look at them suspiciously, Papa smiles and continues for the old man. “When I was young, I nearly caught something huge in this lake.” His eyes grow distant, as though he’s relishing the nostalgic memory. “I’d only just met Marianna at the time. She insisted I take her outside her mansion and bring her somewhere to have fun, but as the son of a poor merchant, this was the only kind of fun I knew.”

Oh? Marianna—that was Lady Mary’s mother, right?

And Papa, lord of the mansion, is a poor merchant’s son? What’s that all about? Wasn’t he born into nobility?

“Back then, I would’ve never guessed Gandolf would end up being a noble. He was always too nervous to be alone with her, so he’d beg for me to come along. What a no-good fellow!”

“And I never thought that apprentice cook who picked fights at the drop of a hat would end up being the youngest royal head chef in history.”

The two men, who know each other’s past, roar with laughter.

I see—Papa married into it. That would mean the Faulks name and noble bloodline belonged to Marianna rather than him. Their pasts are probably filled with unknown drama.

“I remember that time—Marianna wouldn’t let go until the very end. If you hadn’t been there to stop her, she’d have been pulled right in.”

“It seems like Mary definitely inherited that tomboy’s blood.”

“Yes, the young lady reminds me more of Marianna with every passing year.”

Papa begins to sniffle. “Marianna… Mary is growing up wonderfully…”

“This again? Oh, stop crying.”

The old man hits Papa—who has turned into a maudlin drunk—on the back a few times.

These two have such a good relationship. Normally they’re always so respectful toward each other with their jobs, but when it’s just the two of them, they can be their true selves and deepen their friendship.

In addition, as I am a pet, I’m not part of that number.

“Arwf, arwf… (By the way…) ”

“Eh? What’s the matter?”

“Arwf. (The pole has been moving for a while.) ” I pointedly gesture with my nose toward the pole that’s about to be dragged into the lake.

“H-hey! You’ve got a bite, Gandolf!”

“N-nghhh?!” Papa hastily grabs his fishing pole and tries to pull it back. “This, this bite… It has to be! It’s the same one from back then!”

“What?! It’s finally come?! Reel it in, Gandolf! Settle the score from so many years ago!”

“Ngghhh! Marianna, I hope you’re watching!”

Papa and the old man grip the pole and pull with all their might.

“Arrrwf, arrrf! (Hooray, hooray, you can do it!) ”

I watch them go as I drink my beer.

“Routa! What do you think you’re doing?! Quit watching and give us a hand!” demands the old man, his face bright red.

It seems like we’re up against quite the catch. The thick pole is bending like it’s about to snap in half, and the two of them are being slowly dragged toward the lake.

“Arrrf. (Well, if you insist. Time for the main performer to enter the stage.) ”

I leisurely walk over, then bite down on the pole, below where Papa and the old man are holding.

“Arwgh! (Ready? I’m gonna pull it!) ”

An instant before I really dig in and tug, the fish’s force intensifies.

“Dwah?!”

“What?!”

The sudden yank sends Papa and the old man diving into the lake.

“Arwgh?! (Hey—what?!) ”

I didn’t let go of the pole, but I got instantly dragged deep enough into the lake that the water now comes up to my face.

“Ghhhrgh…! (Oh, great, I’m gonna drown…!) ”

I can see past the curtain of light into the lake; there’s a giant fish desperately raging to escape the fishhook. That thing is crazy huge. Papa and the old man were right—it’s gotta be the biggest thing living in here.

But then I see something more important.

A glint, past the swimming leviathan. Something clear, reflecting the glow of the sunlight all the way at the bottom of the lake.

Could that be the sacred crystal that appears in the fairy tales the young lady gets told at night? The legends say this crystal has sacred power and wards off monsters, protecting this forest.

Of course, the legends are totally fake. I know the actual defenders of peace in the forest are the talented Fen Wolves led by Garo. They’ve been doing it for a millennium—driving away monsters so they don’t leave the forest, hunting the ones who go berserk.

Wait, then what’s that crystal for? If the story is pure fiction, then how is there factual proof of it sitting at the bottom of the lake?

“Hey, Routa! Don’t you dare let go! Pull it up! If this works, we’ll be eating like kings!”

The old man’s appeal snaps me out of it.

Eating?! A freshly caught fish?! Prepared by the old man?!

“Ghhrrrbbhhhh! (Whoaaaaaaaa! I’ll reel it in if it kills me!!) ”

Putting strength into my already exerting limbs, I dig my claws into the ground and rally all my muscles to bring my face up.

“Arrwwwwwwf!! (Graaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!! You’re dinneeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!!) ”

With all my might, I pull up the fishing pole.

Right when the base of the pole gives out under the force of my bite and shatters, a pillar of water splashes and the fish flies into the air. It soars over my back, then strikes the earth with a loud boom.

“Fantastic work, Routa!”

“Wow, you actually pulled it up! Not bad!”

Papa and the old man emerge from the lake, soaking wet.

“Arwf, arwf! (Heh-heh! Go ahead! Praise me more!) ”

I wag my tail and go out to meet them.

“Now, let’s take a gander at the biggest—and most difficult—fish this lake had to offer!”

The giant fish flails, its tail fin flapping madly. It’s an enormous trout, over two meters long.

“Now this is what I call a catch.”

It’s the biggest thing in there. No doubt about it. What incredible presence I feel from it.

With this they’ve safely caught the fish and settled their score, but what are we going to do with it? It’s such a big fish. Are we going to let it go?

I look up at the old man’s face. He smirks.

“We’re eating it, of course!”

Thought so!

“What’s the point in fishing if you don’t eat your catch? If you want to eat, then fish—and if you want to fish, then eat! It’s how we show respect for life.”

“I… I see. I figured we were just going to throw it back…” Papa is a little taken aback by the old man’s wild opinion.

“Great! I’ll start a fire! I’ll keep it simple with this trout—we’re having it salted and grilled!”

“Arrrwrrw! (Woo-hoo! I love grilled fish!!) ”

“Routa, you fill the bucket with water! Gandolf, get the plates ready!”

“R-right. It’s been a long time since we’ve hung out like this. I’m so glad I took the day off. I’ll have to thank everyone.”

And so the old man neatly filleted the giant trout, then took the big slices, put them on skewers, and slowly grilled them over the bonfire.

The skin is crunchy, and the flesh is so juicy it’s dripping with grease. As expected, the old man really knows how to cook it just right.

“Awwrr, arrwf! (This is incredible!! How can simple salted fish possibly taste this good?!) ”

Ahhh! Now I want some white rice! I want some rice to munch on with the grilled fish! This makes the rice supply even more urgent! Hurry up and get some stocked soon, Papa!

“After playing and sweating that much, the salty flavor is really good, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s very delicious!”

The young lady and Toa sit side by side as they eat their fish skewers.

Sigh. Simply watching them makes it all worth it.

“Yes, this is good. I don’t mind this sort of wilderness meal once in a while.”

“It certainly does taste good. It goes very well with the wine.”

Papa and Hecate, and all the maids, are head over heels for the old man’s fish dish.

I am, too, of course. Getting to wash down the fish fat filling my mouth with beer makes this feel like heaven on earth. Every last bite of the giant trout is eaten, with us fully enjoying our day off.

Hang on a sec. I feel like I’m forgetting something. What was it again? Something I saw in the lake, or…

“Routa! We’re going home now!”

With everything cleaned up, the young lady, having changed out of her swimsuit, waves to me.

“Arwf! (Okay, I’m coming!) ”

I run to her side, completely losing my train of thought.