04: Drills Comes for a Visit! …Or So I Thought, but the Hero Visits, Too!
“Awrooo! (Let the first How to Make the Hero Go Home Peacefully meeting begin!)”
Brought to you in the elf village by everyone who happened to be free at the time.
At my declaration, hearty cheers go up from the elves.
“Squeak. (This dried nut is quite delectable.)”
Immediately, Len interrupts me. As she munches on a nut closely resembling an acorn, she looks exactly like a mouse and nothing more. Her overpowering draconic nature, among other things, is completely gone.
“Mewl… (There’s a saying for this, isn’t there? Once you pop…)”
Nahura is cleverly using her foreclaws to grip the nut she’s eating, too.
I swear, the two of you…
“Arwf. (How dare you ignore the purpose of our meeting to eat a snack? Give me some, too, please.)”
The rich fragrance of the nuts has me beat.
“Arwf. (Oh, this really is good.)”
It tastes sort of like a chestnut. It’s very aromatic and has a certain sweetness to it.
“That’s the nut we harvest from the Worldtree, the one we use as our home.”
The eldest of the elf sisters provides an explanation immediately. She must mean the big tree Hecate healed recently. A nut from the Worldtree, huh? That’s a shame—I know that the leaves of another world tree, Yggdrasil, have the ability to resurrect the dead.
Nobody in this world would get that piece of trivia, so I digest it along with the nut.
“We use the flour made from these nuts in the bread you love so much, Lord Routa.”
Oh, so this is where that bread comes from? It definitely tastes different when I bite into the raw ingredient. But the natural flavor is tasty in its own right.
“Arwf! (Wait a minute! We came here to have a meeting!)”
What am I doing, getting sidetracked by a snack from the very beginning? And with the added service of the eldest sister herself personally peeling it, too. At this rate, I’ll be the first to end up useless.
“Here you are, Lord Routa. Say aah.”
Yippee! Aah!
“Arwf! (Wait a minute!)”
Aruru is bad news. The eldest sister’s always been top tier at spoiling me. She’s very intent on dragging me down from grace. If I let her have her way, I’ll end up living here in sloth for the rest of my life. No—my home is the mansion! This village is no more than a vacation home, or something.
“Mew! (Routa, it’s like you’re an adulterer surrounded by his local mistresses!)” Nahura snickers in her feline manner.
Would you be quiet already? This isn’t the time to be talking about stuff like that! Isn’t that right, everyone?
“Arwf, arwf. (The meeting! What shall we do, my friends? The NEET swordfighter at our mansion says the Hero, an absolute monster-killing machine, is coming to this forest.)”
I construct a serious expression and look around at those at the meeting.
“Mrrow? (Can’t we use the same strategy as last time? We can all hide and pretend the forest is peaceful to get the Hero to go home.)”
That’s what we did with the adventurers who came before.
“Squeak, squeak. (But that didn’t go so well, did it? We only deceived them because the Lady Witch was with us.)”
True. Those adventurers were weaklings, too, so we had to protect them. But the adventurer coming this time is apparently amazing enough to be called “the Hero.” There might not be a point in using the same tactic.
Plus, at the end of all that, we got found out anyway, and we were only able to use the strategy because of Hecate’s having been the very first guild leader. But what about this time, Miss Hecate? Does this look manageable with the power of your connections?
Hecate, unusually present at our strategy meeting tonight, says something into a crystal ball about the size of her palm. “Emerada, what exactly is going on?”
“I said I was sorry!”
Inside the crystal is an elf—one who looks like a beautiful, but overworked, office employee. She must be someone important in the guild, which I visited some time ago in the Royal Capital. Her tiredness, coupled with her white blouse, loosened at the chest, gives her an air of sexiness.
That crystal ball must be a kind of communicator. That sure is a handy item to have around.
“I didn’t think the Hero would forcefully board an airship. Since it’s so far away, I planned to keep evading questions and tell you about it in the meantime. I only heard about this a little while ago myself. Don’t ask the impossible of me!”
“Oh, but it sounds like the little Hero has not been properly disciplined.”
“Disciplined? Now look here. I’m not you… The guild doesn’t have the power to arrest people like that. SS-Rank adventurers are allowed to act on their own judgment at the scene anyway… Also, the Hero has seemed strange lately. I would assume it’s because Zenobia is gone. She’s with you, right? Can’t you placate her?”
“That is the swordswoman’s issue, so I can’t do anything about it.”
“You really are a shrewd woman. More importantly, what are you doing there anyway? No sooner do you force me to be guild leader and wander off somewhere and totally disappear for a hundred years than you suddenly come back and push all this trouble on me. I’ll have you know that covering up that magical disaster was backbreaking work—preventing observation reports from reaching the royals, putting gag orders on all the adventurers making a fuss about it… Not only was it an abuse of power, I’m pretty sure I broke at least three laws.”
“Yes, well, if they fire you from the guild for malfeasance, you can come here. I promise I’ll foster you.”
“…Your offer is actually pretty tempting…”
The guild leader’s job seems to involve some pretty shady stuff.
Wait, Hecate, you just said you’d “foster” her—I assume with the money out of Papa’s pocket, right? What’s mine is mine, what’s yours is also mine, huh? That’s pretty Gian of you, as always.
After promising to go out drinking with her soon, Hecate ends the call with the guild leader.
“As you just heard, this seems to be the little Hero’s own decision. We probably won’t be able to use the guild’s influence to put a stop to it.”
Seems the result was less than favorable.
The Hero must be every bit the runaway freight train Zenobia said he was. I doubt either dialogue or persuasion would be effective on him.
“Squeak. (It is but a single human. Can we not simply destroy them when they enter the forest?)”
Why are all your ideas so frightening? Try thinking with something other than your muscles, you dumb dragon.
“Arwf. Arf, arf. (Nope. The stronger they are, the more chances for collateral damage. We can’t allow anyone on the other side to get injured, either. Besides, if word got out that the Hero was missing, the guild really would mark this area as dangerous.)”
“Mew! (Wow, Routa is speaking wisely for once!)”
Heh. Self-preservation puts even my brain into full swing. I will never, ever allow my magnificent pet life to end.
“Woof, woof. (We need to get the Hero to leave us in peace—that’s all that matters. Please don’t forget that.)”
We can speculate from information gathered thus far that the Hero is coming to the forest because he wasn’t happy with the results of the previous investigation. In which case, he will come looking for some sort of physical proof to lend credence to his own theory.
But since Hecate dealt with any possible evidence already, he won’t find anything in the way of that. She sealed up the waterfall where the magical disaster occurred and repaired the lands wrecked by the battles with the Demon Lord’s army. Even if he came to the elf village with questions, everyone there is my friend. They’ll all lie and say they don’t know anything, that nothing is suspicious.
Would that make this one of those times when we just have to sit back and not do anything stupid?
But wait, if we just leave the Hero be, he’ll find wild monsters. That would be reason enough for an investigation. After all, we’re up against the kind of monster slayer who would say, “I will kill monsters without mercy.” If he finds a single one, he might rampage through the whole forest on the assumption that there are more.
Hrm… What to do…?
“Mew, mew! (Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t we just do nothing, and run away?)”
“Squeak? (What do you mean, do nothing? You’re suggesting we leave the Hero alone?)”
Len, not understanding what Nahura means, tilts her head to the side. But I know exactly what she’s getting at.
“That’s it!”
Zenobia said this, too, didn’t she? We should just evacuate somewhere while the Hero is here. But not just me—all the monsters in the forest. Discretion is the better part of valor. If the Hero never finds anything, even he will give up and go home.
“Hmm. I see.” A dark-skinned beauty nods, realizing what I’m thinking.
That’s Garo, who’s attending the meeting as the Fen Wolves’ representative. She’s in human form right now, perhaps so she can hold Shiro and Kuro in her arms. The two of them are sleeping, their faces buried in Garo’s bosom. Looks like even she’s getting accustomed to being a mother.
“In that case, the Fen Wolves have much to do. We are skilled at chasing prey. Please leave this to us, my king.”
Garo says this with a sharp look on her face, but the two little fluffballs in her arms are just too cute for the sight to be anything other than heartwarming.
“Squeak, squeak. (Still, an escape plan is a weak tactic, one which I would not have thought the King of the Fen Wolves, Fenrir, would choose. However, you do so in a bid not to leave any subordinates behind. Such consideration, as always. I believe I am falling in love with you all over again!)”
I wish you wouldn’t.
Anyway, I guess we can say we’ve figured out the general direction of our plan.
“Woof, woof. (All right, let’s all just do what we can, then.)”
“““Grwl, mewl, squeak! (Understood!)”””
Let Operation Berserker, If We All Run Away Together There’s Nothing to Be Scared Of begin.
“Routa, Routa! We’ll finally get to see Eliza tomorrow!”
“Arwf, arwf. (Oh, that’s nice. You’ve been looking forward to this, haven’t you, my lady?)”
Snuggled into bed, we can’t stop talking about the young lady Elizabeth, also known as Drills, and sometimes Drillizabeth.
Lady Mary talks about things like what they’ll do together tomorrow and the places she wants to show her; eventually the lights are off and her eyes are closed, but she still doesn’t fall asleep until the moon is high in the sky.
My eyelids are heavy, too—and all I was doing was saying things like “Oh, really” and “I see.” It would be difficult to go out tonight.
Still, the operation is already underway. Now I just have to pray the Fen Wolves do a good job. I’ll have to do my best tomorrow, too—to protect my daily life as a NEET and a pet.
Come at me, you damned Hero. I’ll show you just how adept we are at running and hiding.
After rallying my backward resolve, I fix the covers over my lady and close my eyes.
And the next day, under clear skies, we look up at a giant ship about to land in the courtyard.
“Arwf. (Every time I see it, I’m struck by how huge it is.)”
The big airship just barely fits in the yard, which is awfully large. I don’t understand how the thing can fly, but as its enormous mass moves, I don’t feel anything aside from a slight breeze. It appears completely weightless.
Hecate told me earlier that she helped construct it, so maybe it uses some flotation magic in its flying mechanism, since Hecate and Nahura are really good at that. I also think Papa gave a detailed explanation of it once before, too, but I didn’t really care, so I forgot it all.
Sorry, Papa. Machines and techno jargon aren’t really my thing.
“Yawn… I should have washed my face earlier…”
My lady’s lack of sleep must be weighing on her. She’s leaning up against me and rubbing her sleepy eyes. Unlike me, she doesn’t take afternoon naps, so of course she’s tired. Her single-minded excitement to see Drills is keeping her eyes open, but she’d probably doze off right away if she weren’t careful.
“Ahem…” Miranda, standing behind us, clears her throat.
The young lady, flustered, snaps to attention, but limply leans against me a few moments later. You’re cute even when you’re all sleepy and slovenly like this.
“Arwf, arwf. (Lean on me all you want, if that’s what you wish.)”
I’d welcome you anytime with this fluffy fur of mine.
In the meantime, the airship completes its landing. It still appears to be floating just above the ground, as though its power source isn’t entirely shut off. It would be awful if it damaged the lawn in the courtyard—the old gardener would probably start crying. But it remains motionless; a big-armed navigator is probably controlling it.
A door opens on the bottom section of the ship, and an exit gangway extends from within. It then creates a set of stairs between it and the ground, at last enabling passengers to alight.
Drills and the Hero seem to be the only two passengers, but the crew hastily gets off the ship first to tie it down to the yard. Oh, there’s Drills now.
And just then, I see another person next to her. This person appears to be her escort and is holding her hand respectfully.
What a pretty boy. He’s got short black hair with a sheen to it and deep-blue eyes. He’s clad in immaculate silver armor and has a large, snow-white sword on his back. Everything, from his face to his gear, asserts that he is indeed the Hero.
“Arwgh…! (Damn you, pretty boy…! Just as I thought, our fates cannot be allowed to intertwine…!)”
My determination flares into hostility at the sight of this “Hero.”
I’m lying. I couldn’t possibly allow him to pick up on my hostility. He’d mark me an enemy. I’m just wagging my tail, carefree, welcoming our guests. I hide my fangs, stick out my tongue, and pant. I pretend to be a submissive dog, all the while praying that he’ll spontaneously combust. Yes, I know I’m being petty. And yes, I’m going to continue being petty.
“…Hey. Why are you here?” whispers Zenobia from behind me. “Didn’t I explain the dangers? Why are you showing yourself instead of hiding?”
“Arwf. (Heh. There’s only one thing it could be.)”
To prevent the Hero from stealing my lady’s heart!
If there’s anything I care more about than personal danger, it’s Lady Mary. She’s a big Hero fan. She never fails to read books about him every night. If that hottie Hero flashes her a cool smile, that by itself might be enough to do her in.
No. No, I say!
The young lady’s attentions must be focused 100 percent on me. You won’t like me when I’m jealous. Just you try and do anything untoward to her—I’ll never allow it, damn you.
Not that I can do very much! I can bark and…that’s about it!
“Arwf, arwf. (Still, I do have a solid chance at victory.)”
Observe where I’m sitting. To my left is Papa, and to my right is Lady Mary. And behind me is Zenobia. I already have a formation of ironclad shields protecting me. Papa is a frontier noble, and the young lady is his noble daughter. If you were to try and cut me down in front of them, they’d arrest you on the spot. I’m this house’s pet. Property of the Faulks family. Hurt me, and you pick a fight with nobles. You may be an SS-Rank adventurer, but these are nobles we’re talking about—don’t think for a second you can get away with being rude to them.
And if, for whatever reason, he’s enough of a berserker to ignore that and attack me, Zenobia will protect me.
A berserker for a berserker. We have our own violent lunatic! Don’t underestimate her!
“Woof, woof! (Yeah! Papa, Lady Mary, Zenobia! Make sure to protect me! I’m counting on you!)”
Protected by twin powers of authority and martial prowess, I have no blind spots. Fwa-ha-ha! How do you like my perfect defensive formation? Come at me anytime, so-called Hero! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
“…? I don’t know what’s going through your head, but you have a serious look in your eyes. You must have an idea… All right. I’ll leave it to you.”
“A-arwf? (Wait, what? Zenobia, did you turn on your ‘blind to everything’ setting?)”
I’ll let you do something about it, you know? You’re my last bastion, you know? If that Hero is the kind of monster slayer who would charge in without thinking, you’re the one who’s going to be fighting him! Don’t be so relaxed! Protect me like you’re supposed to! Be on your guard! You need to be more cautious around this Hero! Look, he’s about to come down the gangplank!
The Hero, graceful in contrast to my panic, escorts Drills down the steps. Grr. I want to escort Drills, too. I’d have the blond beauty put a leash on me and walk me around the city in style.
…Wait, that’s just a normal walk. Not that I dislike walks, but still.
“Eliza!” cries the young lady, springing back up out of her sleepiness.
“It is good to see you, Lady Meariya Von Faulks. Thank you very much for your invitation this—”
“Eliza! I missed you so much!”
As Drills tries to curtsy and give a classy greeting, Lady Mary charges and tackles her to the ground.
“H-hey! Mary! Would it kill you to be a little more refined?”
“Eliza, Eliza, Eliza!”
Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff.
The young lady hugs Drills, burying her head in the girl’s chest, which is ample despite her age. Actually, she’s taking very deep breaths, as if to savor Drillizabeth’s scent.
That’s strange. Is that not my special privilege as a dog? I want to sniff her and nuzzle her and get her to pet me, too.
But with the Hero right next to them, it would be too dangerous to leave Papa and Zenobia’s side! I must endure! I must!
“Oh, Mary. I’m happy to see you again after so long, too.” Drills gently pets the young lady’s head.
Lady Mary has a much, much higher social position since she was born into nobility, but the two of them are like friendly sisters with each other.
“Your hands, if you please?” says the Hero, making use of his hotness again to extend a hand to help them up.
Damn you, pretty boy. Accumulating points already? You’re lucky I’m too scared to move from this spot.
Up close, the man is so good-looking even I, a male, am almost caught staring. He has a young boy’s soprano. His voice is simply intoxicating.
Wait. What am I getting intoxicated for? Get a grip! He’s an enemy trying to steal the young lady’s attention away.
“Thank you very much for escorting me. I had a very good time listening to your stories on the ship.”
“The pleasure’s all mine. Nothing is more fun than getting to talk to someone as beautiful as you.”
He smiles coolly, and you can almost see the sparkle on his pearly whites. Shit. Super-handsome shit.
“Arwf! (Oh! My lady! Is Lady Mary all right?! She’s not the Hero’s prisoner now, is she?!)”
If she is, I’ll be forced to fight him for real. I’m fully prepared to unleash my new killer move: the Cute Pose Custom. I intend to charm him with all my might.
“Thank you very much!”
Lady Mary thanks the Hero with a smile after she’s helped up, but that’s all she says before going back to talking to Drills.
Huh? No interest?
Drills must think it’s strange, too. She tilts her head, confused at how the young lady withdrew so quickly. “Oh? Mary, I would have thought you’d want to hear the Hero’s stories. We’ve talked about fairy tales of the Hero many times in our letters, haven’t we?”
“My only hero is Sir Routa,” answers Mary.
That Hero had the same name as me, but it sounds kind of like she’s talking about me, which makes me happy. I’m relieved to see she doesn’t have any interest in this hottie, at least. Far from it—ideas for what she and Drills are going to do together seem to be the only things filling her mind.
Actually, now that I don’t have to worry about her heart being stolen away, I don’t really need to be here anymore, do I? Shouldn’t I be going straight back to the mansion right now? Doesn’t the old man have food waiting for me?
“Marquis Faulks, I cannot thank you enough for going so far as to prepare an airship.”
“I’m glad you’ve come, Elizabeth. Mary has been waiting eagerly for this. If you require aught during this vacation, please do not hesitate to ask. I’ve already contacted your father to assure him I would take responsibility for you.”
Between Papa’s and Drills’s very noble greetings is Lady Mary, waiting for them to finish up their formalities. I can see the “Are you done yet? What about now?” in her pressing gaze.
Is she a dog? I almost start to see a tail coming out of her back, wagging cutely.
Once again, isn’t that my job?! To think the day would come when the young lady would steal my identity!
“Thank you, Your Excellency. I shall take my leave, then.”
“Please be at ease. There may not be much around here, but I can guarantee an experience unlike that in the Royal Capital.”
The young lady cuts in at those words. “Okay, let’s go, Eliza! We’re going exploring!”
“Exploring? But this is your mansion…” Eliza chuckles. “Okay, then. We shall race to the front door!”
Despite her classy act, Drills is common-born. She pinches her long skirt and catches up to Lady Mary before overtaking her.
“Hey, no fair!”
“Oh-ho-ho! All is fair in games!”
The two joyously round the fountain, running toward the front door, looking to be having the time of their lives. Great, I’ll chase after them, too. This is a good excuse for me to leave right now.
“Heya, Zenobia.”
Urk! That voice. Slowly and fearfully, I turn around to find him there. With a cool smile on his face, the Hero is confronting Zenobia.
“Alstera…”
Oh, right, that was his name, wasn’t it? Zenobia stays where she is, arms folded in front of her. The only air I can feel is a tingling, cautious one, piercing into me. If the Hero does anything funny, she’ll cut him down on the spot. I can feel her resolve to do so.
But wait a minute. If a fight were to break out now, wouldn’t I be the one who gets hurt? Standing between the two of them like this, I’m worried to death. I completely lost my chance to run away. Why are they talking with me between them? I’m not a buffer! I’d like to leave this place as soon as possible!
“Why did you come here?”
“Come now. Is that any way to greet a friend?”
“A ‘friend’…?”
Murder flares in Zenobia’s eyes.
My urge to pee flares, too. I’m so scared right now that I might just spring a leak.
“What’s wrong, Zenobia? We finally got to see each other again. Why are you giving me that scary look? Did you want me to embrace you like I did the young ladies earlier?”
What a snob. In modern times, that would be considered sexual harassment.
After all, it’s not like Zenobia ever hugged me. But instead she does hug a stuffed animal that looks a great deal like me, so it’s like I’m being hugged. I think.
“…We’re not exactly on terms to renew old friendships.”
“What? Why are you saying that? It’s only been a few years. We’re still friends, aren’t we?”
“You…! You would use the word friend…?!”
In contrast to Zenobia, whose face is twisted into a frown, the Hero maintains his friendly smile. There is no hostility in it, just fondness for an old buddy.
What’s going on? Nothing is adding up. Zenobia and the Hero had a big fight, and then he beat her up, right? The Hero’s present attitude definitely doesn’t jibe with that. It’s like he’s forgotten all about having nearly killed her.
And doesn’t he sense anything when he looks at me? He hasn’t reacted to me one bit. From what I heard, he’s even more of a berserker than Zenobia is. But he seems surprisingly rational, even amicable.
…Could it be that he considers me a lovable dog and nothing more? …Is he blind? Do dogs make him blind to the truth? Maybe I’ll strike a cute pose to make sure he knows I’m harmless.
“You might already know this, but I came here on an investigation. I’m sure you know about the large-scale magical disaster that happened in the forests north of here, right?”
“…Yeah, I do. But I heard there weren’t any problems.”
“They made a mistake. Neither those adventurers who came before nor the guild leader understands anything. My intuition as the Hero is telling me something has to be here.”
“……”
Intuition? Man, I thought he had some kind of evidence. He’s just going with his gut.
Shame on you, Hero. You came all this way on a gut feeling? Well, that’s too bad for you. No matter what your intuition says, there is……absolutely something here. Damn it.
There are monsters there, like in any other forest! Labyrinths keep showing up, too! And the Fen Wolves are actually in charge of the forest! The holy mountain to the north is a dragon’s lair! The generals of the Demon Lord’s army are reviving one after another, too! And to top it all off, the King of the Fen Wolves lives here at this very mansion!!
Now that I’m thinking about it, this whole area is a nightmare. Talk about an overabundance of fighting strength. I mean, of course the Hero came here. It’s only natural his Hero sense would be tingling.
“Oh, also, I’ve been wondering about something since I landed. I’m sure you’ve noticed already, but why is a high-ranking monster like that on the loose?” asks the Hero, pointing at me.
“Arwf?! (Wha?!)”
So he wasn’t blind after all?! Guess I celebrated prematurely. He seems to have the presence of mind not to immediately try to kill me, but now that my identity’s out of the bag, if we’re ever alone, he will destroy this monster. I have to make absolutely sure to always have someone with me.
“So why is that?”
“……” Zenobia falls silent, and the Hero watches her with empty eyes.
And I, caught between them, break into a cold sweat. Well, technically, I don’t have enough sweat glands. That’s the feeling, though.
“Do you take issue with our dog? That’s quite the serious expression you’re wearing…”
Nice one, Papa! He’s been watching us and decided to come over. He must have sensed the disquieting mood. It looks like he didn’t hear what they were talking about, so maybe he sensed something was off when the Hero pointed at me.
“…What? This is…a dog?”
“Yes, why? He’s grown into a rather splendid dog, don’t you think?”
“Splendid… Huh…?”
For the first time, the Hero is confused. Leave it to Papa to pull that off!
“Does he really look like a dog to you?” asks the Hero.
“Yes. He’s a dog no matter how you look at him. Why do you ask? He’s a just a bit lazy, husky, and too kind for his own good. He’d certainly never make it as a guard dog. Ha-ha-ha,” laughs Papa, petting me on the head.
Ah, here is the true blind person. Never change, Papa.
“Zenobia, that man seems a bit strange,” whispers the Hero into Zenobia’s ear.
“W-well, perhaps a little— No! I will not stand for your rudeness toward the master of the house!” says Zenobia, hastily batting him away.
“Mm. I apologize for my late introduction. I am the Hero, Alstera, an SS-Rank adventurer like Zenobia. Starting today, I will be investigating these forests. Is that all right with you?”
“I’m aware SS-Rank adventurers have legal authority to make decisions at the scene. Even if the guild has judged otherwise, you have the ability to act immediately if you sense anything suspicious. Such authority and responsibility do come with such a high rank, after all.”
Huh? Really? I definitely don’t have any level of trust in Zenobia or this Hero.
Papa, oblivious to my suspicion, nods. “I have no intention of stopping you, of course. I doubt there’s anything of note in this peaceful forest, but feel free to investigate to your heart’s content.”
“Thank you for your cooperation!” The Hero bows deeply.
“Still, you don’t have to go right after arriving, do you? We have a spare room. Why not rest from the voyage and get started after that?”
Yes, I think that’s for the best, too! Our operation might have already begun, but there’s nothing wrong with buying some time. Now surrender your heart to the hospitality of the Faulkses! Also, I’ll be constantly emphasizing my own harmlessness.
“I appreciate your consideration, but I think I’ll start the investigation immediately,” says the Hero with another bow. He slings a pack over his shoulder—it probably has traveling gear in it.
“Is that so? It’s good of you to be so earnest about your work, but perhaps you should catch up with your old friend a little more, don’t you think?”
“We’ll do that on the way. You’re coming with me, right, Zenobia?”
“Uh, yeah. Of course. I’m not about to let you run wild.”
Zenobia must have planned to go along from the start, as she has a sturdy metal case with her already. She picks it up. If I recall, that’s the box with Zenobia’s family heirloom in it. A large black sword that sliced off some of Len’s tough scales. I can tell by her decision to bring it that she’s enthusiastic about this. Does she intend to fight the Hero again, if it comes to that?
I personally doubt the sword is going to matter much. The monsters of the forest the Hero is looking to fight are already happily evacuating. Your investigation will be over before you even encounter a single creature.
“You say it like you need to keep an eye on me. Well, okay. Let’s head out right away.”
“Right.”
Zenobia begins walking and shoots me a look.
“Arwf? (Huh? What? Need something?)”
“……” Zenobia maintains her stare, saying nothing.
I look back in puzzlement. Huh? What? What are you looking at me like that for? We’re not communicating here!
“……”
“…… (……)”
Oh! I got it! She’s sending me a message to leave the rest to her and take a break!
Don’t worry about that, Zenobia. Break Taker is my middle name. I’ll leave watching the Hero to you. Put your utter lack of direction to good use to hold the Hero off, will you?
I sharpen my expression to tell her I understand. Zenobia nods slightly, and the two of them head off to the forest together.
“Arrrwf… (Phew… I managed, somehow.)”
I sigh deeply as I see the two of them off.
So that’s the Hero, huh? I was surprised Lady Mary didn’t react very much. I guess that means Drills is more important after all. Well, that’s good. The whole reason I went out to greet them was to prevent the Hero from stealing the young lady’s attention. When I saw that storybook Hero arrive, I wasn’t sure what would happen, but all’s well that ends well.
“Eh? That’s the Hero? What a misunderstanding. People really don’t know how to judge the worth of things.”
Oh? Suddenly, Mircalla is standing next to me.
She has her arms folded in a haughty manner, but on the outside she’s a blond loli maid, so it has no impact whatsoever. Now that the welcome is finished, the maids seem to have dispersed, too. Mircalla remained, though, as the others returned to their respective duties.
“Arwf, arwf? (What do you mean a misunderstanding? Anyway, looks like ‘Hero’ is like a title. Does that mean the one who defeated the Demon Lord was different?)”
“…Uhh, that isn’t exactly what I mean. You seem pretty carefree about this, Fen Wolf King.”
“Arwf? (About what?)” I’d rather you not expect sharp insight from a mere dog.
“It’s nothing. Fine. I don’t have any responsibility to help you. I promised I wouldn’t bring harm to any of you, but I don’t even want to get involved with that Hero.”
Mircalla gives a flip of her long blond hair, done up into two pigtails. If she’d still been in her adult form, it would have been a great pose.
“Arwf? (Huh? Is something different about this Hero?)”
“…That sword. I smell something very familiar about it.”
“Woof, woof. (Oh, Zenobia said it was a holy sword.)”
An amazing blade, apparently, and the reason for the title “Hero.” It certainly was decorated in a very divine fashion. Placed in its perfectly white sheath, it was obviously sacred.
“A holy sword… Hmm. It didn’t look that way to me.”
“Carmilla… Ah, er, Mircalla—you think so as well? To tell the truth, I, too, feel a sense of familiarity from it.”
Now even Richmond is here, standing next to me.
“Arwf, arwf? (Well, that’s the sword of the Hero who defeated you two way back when, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be stranger if you didn’t recognize it?)”
“The Hero? That sword? I don’t remember that… Actually, to be perfectly frank, I can’t even remember the Hero’s face, so my memories of that event are hazy…”
“Mine, too. The Hero is one thing, but I wonder why I can’t remember the Demon Lord’s face. I’m certain I must have held them in very high esteem, but I can’t even recall their voice…”
The two of them sink into thought.
“Arwf? (Well, no point thinking about that anymore, is there? Just give up on the Demon Lord reviving and have a fun life with the humans.)”
“I refuse! Who would want to live with filthy humans?!”
“That’s right. We are purely of the demon tribes. Carmilla is the pinnacle of all vampires, as I am of the dead. We have no intention of disobeying you, but neither do we intend to bow before the humans!”
“Arwf? (Is that right? Even so, it seems to me you’re really enjoying life here.)”
“That is not true!”
“That’s right! What she said!”
Both of them firmly deny it.
Well, if you’re that insistent about it, then I must be wrong.
“Arwf. (Anyway, the maids all went back. Should you be lingering here?)”
“What?! That’s right! We’re still not finished making all the beds! I have to pull some sheets taut and fluff up some pillows! I can’t get enough of the sense of accomplishment when I’m all done!”
“Oh, dear me. I must prepare tea for our guest! I am told new tea leaves have arrived on the airship! I must search for the perfect way to steep them and adjust them before serving it! I, Richmond, am about to head up the greatest tea party ever seen!”
“Let’s hurry, Uncle!”
“Yes, let’s, Mircalla!”
The pair eagerly rush back into the mansion.
“…Arwf. (…They’re in full-on servitude mode now. Seems like they’re really enjoying it, too.)”
That leaves me alone in the courtyard. In any case, the Hero has entered the forest as planned. But the operation is already underway. Still, for an “operation,” it’s pretty simple. We just have everyone evacuate while the Hero investigates the forest.
That “simple thing,” however, is a big deal. After all, the scope of it is massive. Normally it wouldn’t be possible to direct a forest this large, but the talented Fen Wolves are in charge of the operation. I should be able to rest easy knowing it’s in their hands—er, paws. Apparently, all the Fen Wolf clans will be working together again, too. How very dependable.
“Arf, arf. (It actually looks like I won’t need to do anything. That’s nice.)”
It was strange to begin with that a pet dog like me would be going on journeys like I have been. If anything happens, Nahura, who is with Garo and the others, is to use her teleportation to inform me. Which means I don’t need to panic and go check on how they’re doing.
“Arf, arf! (Which also means that I have the whole afternoon off, at least!)”
My lady had a hard time falling asleep last night, and I am feeling pretty sleep deprived. Time for me to take a nap.
Just as I make the decision, the young lady accosts me and makes me go along with their exploration.
B-but my sleeping time!
Not that I mind, because this is fun! Now that it’s come to this, I’ll totally play with you!
With the greater part of the mansion having been introduced to Drills during their so-called “exploration,” she and my lady are in the guest room enjoying tea.
Since they worked up a sweat walking around, Richmond prepared some cold tea for them. Not black tea, however, but a green-colored one, like Japanese tea. No ice floats in the small glass cups, either, but nevertheless, you can tell by the droplets on the glass itself that the tea poured in it is properly chilled.
“This is iced jade-dew tea. It is made from rare tea leaves procured from the East, and the leaves themselves have a strong sweetness to them, making sugar, milk, and the like unnecessary. I’ve used droplets of melted ice to dissolve its flavoring little by little. Please give it a taste.”
“Oh! I’ve never had this before!”
“Neither have I. Only the Faulks Company would be able to acquire such a rare item from abroad. The marquis certainly has wonderful foresight, having had his eye on airships before anyone else, then having his own company develop one.”
Lady Mary and Drills admire of the color of the tea. Its ingredients, slowly extracted using ice, are very clear, and holding it up to the light causes its color to shimmer brilliantly.
I’m gonna have a sip, too, of course. Wherever deliciousness is, that’s where you’ll find Routa.
“Arwf! (This is awesome! Actually, it reminds me of home!)”
The sweetness of the tea reminds me of Japan’s gyokuro green tea. I mean, I never had the chance to taste something of such high quality in my past life. I always chose bottled tea since it was cheap, but still.
“Wow, this is really sweet!”
“And there is no sugar at all in this?”
“That is correct. What you’re tasting is what the tea leaves alone have to offer.” Richmond bows, smiling like any genial old man would. He really is taking well to his servant form.
I had no idea tea could taste this great. It has none of the bitterness so characteristic of Japanese tea. There’s only a mellow, sweet flavor. The tea leaves’ flavoring has been so perfectly isolated that even I, an amateur, realize it. This is good.
I hope he stays in charge of this family’s tea forever.
“By the way, did Christina not come with you?” the young lady asks Drills.
Christina? Oh, she must mean that ground dragon. An incorrigible pervert who loves absolutely disgusting pet food, admires Drills more than that, and adores getting stepped on by Drills out of all the pleasures in life, if I recall. It looks like she didn’t come on the airship.
“She was, of course, a little too big to ride on the airship. Also, she doesn’t like going out very much. She’s perfectly happy going on walks when I’m riding her, but aside from that, all she ever does is bask in the sun in the courtyard all day.”
That’s because the walks aren’t her goal. She just wants you to step on her.
“She looked lonely, but she’s minding the place in my absence this time.”
You were right not to bring her, considering we have a monster-massacring Hero here. In the worst case, she might have gotten attacked on board the airship.
“That’s too bad, huh, Routa?”
Not particularly, why? I already have my fair share of unfortunate dragons, like the lonely spinster sleeping in my fur.
“It’s a shame Christina couldn’t come, but let’s play as much as we can anyway, Eliza!”
“Oh? That would be fine with me, but we cannot afford to neglect our studies.”
“Wait… Huh? But my home instructor is on break right now.”
“The two of us are more than enough for self-study. I figured this might happen, so I brought along textbooks and notebooks.”
“Nrgh…”
Drills smiles at the pouting young lady. “I think even the boring parts will be fun if we do them together. How about it? Would you like to do some studying with me, Mary?”
“…! Yes, I would!”
My lady easily acquiesces to Drills’s invitation. She runs off to get her study materials.
When I look at Drills again, she sure seems mature. She’s quite calm and ladylike, nothing like the selfish, snot-nosed kid she was when I first met her at the Royal Capital. She was originally delinquent because of her parents’ disdain for each other. She collected all kinds of pets to fill the void left by an absence of familial affection, and then they were all gone, just like that—all except for Christina. That ground dragon, plus Drills’s newfound bond of friendship with Lady Mary, seems to have rehabilitated her quite well. This is who Drills really is.
The young lady returns, having gotten her study materials from Toa. She sits down at the desk with Drills, and they both get to it. General education appears to be the main course, but both of them are daughters of businessmen. They’re reading books on topics like economics and management as well.
Hmm. I never want to study for anything ever again, but these two seem to be having a good time. They’re helping each other with the parts they don’t understand and scribbling down notes.
“This is wonderful, Mary. Despite how I may seem, I have some of the highest grades at the academy in the capital. And you’ve been learning things even further ahead of me.”
“Wait, really? My home teacher has never really praised me for anything…”
Isn’t that because you constantly skip your studies, my lady? Still, even I didn’t realize how high the young lady’s grades are. I guess I’m not surprised. She’s been homeschooled by her tutor her whole life. Without anyone to compare herself to, she’s never known how talented she is.
“Even my upperclassmen can’t read so deeply into the Maynard Problems and interpret them independently… I’m losing faith in myself.”
“Well, the stuff you taught me was really easy to understand! I was completely absorbed when you told the story about the three bricklayers, the dog, and the sheep.”
“…Please forget about that.”
My lady loves stories, after all. As long as you wrap the subject up in a children’s story, you have her full attention.
Drills is pretty good at teaching, and Lady Mary appears to be the stereotypical genius. I want to say it’s a pitch, and a swing, and a hit, and ka-bam. At this rate, she’ll have no trouble becoming the home-run king!
…What was I talking about again?
“Mary, I want to ask you something seriously.”
“What is it?”
“Do you have any interest in studying in the capital for a while? With your level of academic ability, you could easily enroll in the academy. You could probably even skip a grade.”
“Studying abroad…”
“What do you say, Mary? I think it would be a lot of fun for the two of us to go to the academy together.”
My lady’s eyes glitter at Drills’s invitation, but then she gives a vague kind of smile. “…I’m sorry, Eliza. I can’t.”
Drills’s eyes widen; it seems she didn’t expect to be turned down.
“Mother’s dying request was that I never leave this place for too long,” explains Mary. “She said that the daughters of the Faulks family have always been like that.”
Dying request? I was under the impression my lady was living out here with all the nature so that she could recuperate from her illness. I figured she could go study abroad right now since her sickness was cured. I didn’t realize there was another reason.
If I recall, Lady Mary’s mother passed away when she was little. She comes up in conversations between Papa and the old man sometimes, but this is the first time the young lady has said anything about Mama.
She can’t leave this estate for too long, huh? That’s an odd thing to request on your deathbed. Is she cursed somehow? Like, would Lady Mary’s departure bring misfortune or something?
Well, I’ve taken a liking to my life at the mansion, so I’d be worried if Lady Mary did want to go to school in the capital. As her pet, I would need her to bring me everywhere. I’d certainly have to go with her to school, too.
If that happened, I would dare all the students in the capital to look at me. They’d all fall over backward. I don’t expect everyone would be blind when it comes to me. Even my current size, smaller due to the shape-shifting technique, is still pretty monstrous. Also, if I ended up leaving the estate, Garo—among others—would come with me whether I liked it or not. Len and Nahura would naturally follow. Taking them all to a well-populated place would be way too dangerous.
“I see… In that case, there’s no point belaboring it.”
“I’m sorry. I know you really wanted me to…”
“No, there’s nothing to worry about. I only made a proposal. We can still spend plenty of time together right now, while I’m here.”
“Eliza…!” The young lady hugs Drills. “Let’s make lots and lots and lots of memories!”
“Yes, yes, but we can’t forget about our studies,” says Drills, patting her head. Then she makes a face like she suddenly remembered something. “Oh, dear me. I’ve forgotten something quite important.”
“…? Something important?”
Yeah, what’s this important thing, huh?
“Would you not allow me to greet your mother as well?”
Drills’s request was to visit Lady Mary’s mother’s grave. The grave is apparently on a small hill not too far from the mansion. To save time, we head there by carriage.
“Arwrwf. (Fwa-ha-ha. A flower in each hand, as they say, indeed.)”
I’m so big I take up two whole seats, so both of the young ladies are sitting across from me.
“Neigh. (It’s all right if you get tired, old-timers. I can get us up the hilly road if I have to.)”
“Whicker! (What is this I hear? We aren’t going to lose to some whippersnapper just yet, Mare!)”
“Neigh. (Oh, dear. Don’t complain to me if you force the issue and hurt yourself.)”
Our horses, now numbering three, engage in friendly banter as they pull the wagon up the slanted road.
It’s lively inside the wagon, too, of course. They say three’s a crowd, but these two girls have plenty to talk about among themselves, so I can just enjoy the ride.
“The other day, Routa…”
“Oh, yes, Christina, she…”
Well, they’re mostly having pet talk, but still. When I listen to them, it doesn’t sound like they’re really on the same page in their conversation, but they always arrive at the same end points. The way girls talk is kind of incredible. The wagon continues ascending the hill as they talk, until suddenly the tree cover disappears.
“We’re here, Lady Mary!”
Toa, who is used to handling horses, climbs out of the driver’s seat and opens the wagon door.
“Woof, woof! (Leave the escorting to me!)”
I jump out first, then lift my nose up so that the young ladies can easily put their hands on it.
“Oh! Thank you!”
“Well, aren’t you the gentleman?”
Heh-heh-heh. I’m not only helping you get off the wagon. I’ll even lead the way for you. Even though I don’t know where the grave is. The flagstone path continues from here, so it’s probably that way. But if it isn’t, it’s going to be really embarrassing, so please, be over there.
The sunlight is still warm, but a cool breeze blows across the hill. My lady holds her blond hair down and narrows her eyes.
“…My mother had the same illness as me. She wasn’t very strong physically, so she would lose stamina every time she had a fever. When I was three, she passed away in her sleep.”
“I see…” Drills looks down sadly.
“Oh, but it was a long time ago, so don’t worry about it! Father and everyone else in the mansion are here for me, and Routa is here now, too. I’m really, really happy that you came to visit!”
Drills offers a smile as the young lady grabs her hands firmly. “You said your illness had been cured, right?”
“Yes. We found medicine for me, so now I’m feeling just fine!” says my lady, spinning around, her skirt fluttering.
I wonder what would have happened if Mama had had the same medicine, but Lady Mary doesn’t talk about it. Probably out of consideration for her doctor, Hecate.
This is just an idea, but Hecate probably apologized to her on the day of her mother’s death—apologized that she couldn’t save her mom. And now, with Lady Mary’s own illness cured, the young lady wouldn’t be happy about Hecate’s having regrets about it.
It’s too bad they couldn’t save her mom, but I’m glad we made it in time for the young lady. That’s a much better way of looking at it.
It means I gained something from going to get the herbs, too. Of course, if word got out that it was me, everyone would only get more suspicious that I’m a monster, so I have to let Zenobia continue standing in for me on this.
“……”
I turn around suddenly, having realized my lady is staring at me.
“Arwf? (What’s wrong, my lady?)”
“…Hee-hee. It’s nothing,” she says teasingly.
Ah, your petting feels so good.
As she scratches my mane around, Lady Mary goes ahead of me.
After following the cool flagstone path for a little while, we come to a place with a lot of yellow flowers blooming. Surrounded by those flowers is a large gravestone. It’s been polished well, and not a speck of ivy is on it; it must be tended regularly.
You can see the mansion clearly from this hill. They probably chose this location for the grave so it could watch over the family from here.
Lady Mary passes by my side and kneels at the gravestone.
She puts her hands together in prayer.
“Mother, I’ve come today with something to report.”
She turns back toward us. She beckons to Drills and me, and we kneel down next to her. I sit, since I’m a dog, but my lady introduces me to her late mother, stroking my back.
“This little boy is Routa. He’s a new part of the family. He’s really nice, even if he is a little spoiled. Now that he’s here, I don’t cry at night anymore.”
That is my one job as a pet who doesn’t work, after all. I’ll never let Lady Mary feel lonely. You can watch over us in peace, Mama.
“And this is my first friend.”
“My name is Elizabeth Morgan. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Lady Marianna.”
Drills offers a prayer to Mama, too.
“Mother, I’ll be okay now. I’ve graduated from the crybaby I used to be. From now on, I’ll always come to you with fun stories!”
“I vow to be Mary’s friend for life. Please watch over us.”
“Arwf, arwf! (I’ll be right next to her, too, of course, letting her raise me for life!)”
A gust sends ripples through the flower field, as though Mama has heard our prayers. The vivid yellow petals flutter around us as if to bless Lady Mary’s future.