Interlude…

I locked the door firmly so it would never open again.

Just one final time.

I stroked the door, memorizing the sensation with my skin.

The colder it was, the more it hurt. The more I could believe that the answer I’d chosen was something real.

There was no other way for me to make sure, so I would never know the right answer. I would never be done with searching for mistakes.

I yearned so burningly for just one single thing that was real, it became tangled up enough to chafe. I couldn’t even cry as I just burned myself out—until what remained was a hopelessly twisted fake.

But to me, it was a fake like no other. One that could never be replaced.

I didn’t want it to break, at least. So I would quietly and carefully tuck it away, and that would bring an end to everything.

—Please let this be the right ending.

With that prayer, I released the door.

I took one step away, then two—until I was too far away to touch it, even if I reached out.