Chapter 27: Ham Cutlet

Chapter 27:
Ham Cutlet

In the corner of the continent was a small village, and in that village was a tiny old log house. In the corner of said house was a married couple’s bedroom.

It had been a month since Ellen last pulled her best clothes out from her chest. She changed into them and prepared to go out for the day. Since she didn’t have a mirror, Ellen brushed her dark brown, ruffled hair and checked to make sure her clothes were in order. That was about all she could do to make sure she looked presentable.

All right. This should be good. Not much more I can do!

Ellen wasn’t wearing her usual worn-out clothes, but rather the set she put on when going to a festival or wedding ceremony. She even had on a pair of silver earrings she received from her mother. They were equipped with small gems the size of her pinkie fingernail. When Ellen first got them as a gift, her mother told her that if she was ever pressed for money to sell them immediately. Folks like Ellen didn’t have access to expensive shops dealing in pricey makeup, so she used the red she decocted from flowers in the spring to add a little color to her lips and lightly dabbed her cheeks with white powder she created from flowers she picked in the mountains.

Despite everything Ellen had done to prepare herself before heading out, she still wasn’t terribly confident about her looks, considering where she was headed. Her destination was a place where numerous high-class women, both younger and more beautiful than the now thirty-year-old country woman was, often visited. But the reality was that Ellen was the wife of a poor woodcutter. She didn’t have any other items to pretty herself up with. She made peace with that fact and left her bedroom.

“Sorry for the wait!” she said. “Well? How do I look?”

Ellen’s family was waiting for her outside the room. Her husband and kids had also neatened their dark brown hair and wore their best clothes. Ellen posed flirtatiously.

“Ya look fine!” her husband said. “Now let’s get movin’! The kids are workin’ up quite the appetite, sounds like.”

“Yeah, c’mon, Mom! Hurry up!”

“I’m hungrrrry! Let’s gooo!”

Unfortunately, reality was unkind to the housewife. Despite her best efforts to pretty up, Herman barely looked at her before giving her the most basic of compliments. Ellen’s husband was just over thirty years old himself and had begun showing signs of his age. Meanwhile, her two children, Kai and Bona, were in a rush to reach their destination. Kai looked much like Herman and had turned eleven years old this year. Bona, on the other hand, looked more like her mother, and was only eight.

“Yes, yes, I know! Now listen up, everyone! Y’all better behave yourselves over there, got it?”

Ellen would be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little annoyed with her family after she went through all the trouble of dressing up. Couldn’t they afford to give her at least a compliment or two? In the meantime, she lectured the children about their manners.

“Yeees, Moooom,” they answered in harmony.

As always, there was no way of really telling whether the kids understood her, but at least they had the energy to respond properly. Ellen always had to warn the children whenever it came time to head over there.

“Shall we be off then?”

“Yup!”

And so, the four of them exited their log cabin and went next door to the small barn.

“All right, I’m opening it up.”

Inside was a single donkey Herman used to carry trees that he’d cut down. It stood quietly in the barn, sipping water. Herman’s family watched him as he approached the door in the back of the building. He placed his hand on the handle of the black door with the cat illustration on it and turned it.

***

And, like always, the door opened to the sound of bells ringing.

“Welcome, Herman, Ellen!”

The couple had been coming to Nekoya on and off for fifteen years, since before they were married, back when the previous master was still alive. They’d known the current master for quite some time.

“Gonna have the usual today?” he asked.

The master immediately went to take their order. Due to his long relationship with the pair, he already knew neither of them could read, so there was no need to hand them a menu. Plus, Herman’s family only ever ordered one thing.

“Yup. Same as usual. Four daily specials. Oh, by the by, what’s on the menu for today’s special?” Herman asked as usual.

As made apparent by its name, the daily special changed every time Herman came to the restaurant. It was about two copper coins cheaper than anything else on the menu, which was part of the reason why they ordered it every visit. Not to mention that, despite being cheaper, it was in no way less delicious than any of the other items on the menu. Plus, since it changed with every visit, this meant they tried all sorts of different foods.

“Today is ham cutlet. I think bread pairs quite well with it, by the way.”

The master had no problems recommending rice with ham cutlet, but as far as he was concerned, it went best with bread.

Satisfied with the master’s explanation, Herman made his usual request. “I see. Then we’ll have that with the bread. Could ya bring out the bread and soup first? Like always?”

“Absolutely. I’ll be back out in a bit.”

The master finished taking their orders before they even sat down and returned to the kitchen to prepare their food.

“Let’s grab a seat.”

Herman took a breath and looked for an empty table. There were all sorts of customers at the restaurant, ranging from nobles to monsters to demi-humans.

“Oh, that one looks open. C’mon, let’s go.”

“Aye.”

“Okaaay, Dad!”

Herman led his family to a table, and they all took a seat.

“Hey, Mom! I want ice cream! Can I order some?”

“Oh, oh! I wanna drink cola! The black fizzy stuff!”

The moment they sat down, the children began excitedly making requests. Ellen didn’t blame them; this was the one time every month the family got to indulge. Kai wanted the ice-cold confectionary that was only available at this particular restaurant. Bona, meanwhile, was a little bit of a special case. On one of their previous visits, a group of kids who apparently came to the restaurant on their own had let her try some of this cola drink, and it quickly became her favorite.

Ellen shook her head. “Nope! Not today. We ain’t got the money. Right, Dad?”

Unfortunately for the children, Ellen had a firm grip on the family wallet. While she couldn’t read or do math, she had a precise understanding of just how many coins the family had to their name. She looked to Herman for backup.

He shrugged. “Hey, Mom. I’d kinda like a beer. Mind if I order one?”

“…This is the part where I wanted you to nod your head.”

As usual, reality was unkind. Ellen wasn’t sure if Herman had any knowledge of their finances, but either way, he couldn’t help wanting the cold and delicious, otherworldly alcohol that resembled ale. Ellen knew full well that the “beer” drink went amazingly with any of the menu items that had “cutlet” or “fried” in its name.

“No fair, Dad! Then I want ice cream!”

“Then I want cola! The black fizzy stuff!”

“C’mon, are ya sure we can’t cut loose just a li’l? I’ll cut more firewood startin’ tomorrow, promise?”

Now that the children had gained a strong ally in the form of their father, the united front continued putting the pressure on Ellen.

She sighed.

“Either you order cola or ice cream, but not both. The two of you are gettin’ the same thing, got it? If you end up orderin’ separate stuff, you’re just gonna end up wanting the other one, too. I know how this goes. And Dad, if you’re gonna order beer, make it a bottle. I want some, too.”

“You got it!”

“Yay!”

And so, the children proceeded to debate over what to order, eventually settling on the cola.

“Sorry to keep you waiting! Here’s your soup and bread.”

A young new waitress wearing a somewhat strange black hair piece placed down the food in front of the family.

“Much obliged. Oh, and I’m sorry to ask so suddenly, but could we get a bottle of beer and two servings of cola?”

“Of course! Thank you for your order! I’ll bring those out with your ham cutlets!” The young waitress happily responded to their order and disappeared into the back.

“Let’s dig in…” Ellen said to the kids, then elbowed her husband. “C’mon, Herman. Really? Right in front of me?”

“Wh-what?”

Herman was staring at the waitress’s backside. Ellen shook her head and finally started eating.

Ah, it smells delicious.

At the Restaurant to Another World, just ordering a regular meal gave you the right to eat as much soup and bread as you wanted. Those two items alone were far more delicious than anything Ellen ate in her world. It was even better than the white bread that was only available during special occasions like festivals.

Long ago, before they were married, Herman had accidentally stumbled across the door to the restaurant. He began inviting Ellen to come with him around that time. Back then, she found herself ordering all manner of sweet desserts that made her feel like her body would melt away. Nowadays, she came here specifically with the intent of eating bread and soup, almost always ordering the daily special. They were worth the price of admission alone.

Ellen picked one of the freshly warm pieces of bread up off the white plate and bit into it. Underneath the shiny brown crust was soft, white bread that resembled fresh snow. Ellen took a small bit of the butter from the side of the plate and spread it on the bread. She took yet another bite.

It’s so sweet.

The first bite of bread with plentiful butter spread on it was something else. The thin and crunchy outer layer and the light sweetness of the soft, white crumbs spread across the insides of her mouth. Meanwhile, the scent of wheat and butter mixed together and filled her nose. The combined flavors filled Ellen with joy, and it wasn’t long before the small piece of bread disappeared down her gullet.

The housewife then turned her attention to the soup. Mixed in with the pale liquid were vegetables and thinly cut meats. Ellen used her spoon to scoop up the soup and took a taste.

Ah, this really is the best. This place is the best.

The overwhelming deliciousness of salt, meat, and vegetables filled her mouth, but that wasn’t all. Even Ellen could tell there was far more to the soup than just those ingredients alone. She wasn’t sure if it was the way the master made it, or perhaps what went into it was just that different, but the soup had a complicated, thick, and wonderful flavor that Ellen could not replicate. While the soups changed every visit, every single one of them was delicious in their own way, and she once again had no complaints for the chef.

Ellen continued sipping at her soup on the side while enjoying her bread. A bite of bread, a sip of soup, repeated time and time again.

She looked up for a moment and saw that Herman and the children were doing the exact same thing.

We really are eating some delicious food, aren’t we?

The rest of their food arrived just after the four of them, feeling truly happy, finished their bread and soup.

“Sorry to keep you waiting! Here are your ham cutlets and drinks!”

The young waitress reappeared with orders in hand, including refills of bread and soup. Either the master told the waitress from earlier or she was just being downright thoughtful.

“Ah, thank you kindly,” said Ellen.

Ever grateful, Ellen and the others came face to face with the true main attraction of the day. On top of a single plate were four round, fried objects, crispy brown. Next to them was a little mountain of pale green vegetables. In the corner of the plate were three small, red fruits of some sort and some faint yellow mayonnaise. Today’s daily special, “ham cutlet,” looked delicious.

“All right! Let’s feast!”

Herman poured beer from the brown bottle into two translucent glasses and handed one of them to Ellen. He then reached for the blue bottle and spread the sauce inside all over his ham cutlets.

“Here you go, Mom,” he said, passing it to her.

“Thanks.”

Ellen grabbed the beer and sauce from her husband and began eating. At first, she only put a dash of sauce onto her cutlets. Herman had poured so much sauce onto them that they turned black, but Ellen was a bit more conservative. She liked a bit of crunch to her cutlets.

With her knife, she cut a slender piece from the round ham cutlet. Pink meat and milky white cheese peeked out from the cut.

Looks like there are two types. Those with cheese and those without, Ellen thought to herself. She took her fork and stabbed it into the portion without cheese, where the meat was much thinner. She brought it to her mouth and felt the aroma of the oil and sauce fill her mouth and nose. Ellen bit into the ham cutlet.

“Mm!”

She inadvertently raised her voice. After a deeply satisfying crunch, the flavor of the salt, herbs, and lightly seasoned meat filled her mouth. The way it blended together with the sauce from earlier was magnificent.

“It’s so tasty!”

“Delish!”

The kids were eating their ham cutlets without any sauce, but they, too, raised their voices in satisfaction.

“Whoo-ee! Ain’t nothin’ like a beer with some fried food!”

Herman had already finished off his first beer while devouring his sauce-drenched ham cutlets. All four of them couldn’t have been more satisfied with their meals. They had today’s special, the ham cutlet, to thank for that.

Ah, the cheese ones are great, too!

Ellen took a bite of the cheese ham cutlet and was immediately struck by how fresh the pairing of the meat and melty cheese was. Combined with the frosty cold beer, it was like nothing else.

Indeed, when it came to any fried foods here at the restaurant, there was one important thing to pay mind to when eating. First, Ellen cut a vertical opening down through the bread that the waitress brought to their table earlier. She then carefully stuffed the opening with vegetables and the thinly sliced pieces of meat. Ellen finished off her prep work by topping it all with mayo.

The housewife took a bite of her newly complete “ham cutlet sandwich.”

I wasn’t wrong! This is why I can’t stop coming here!

Ellen couldn’t help but let out an internal shout of glee as she happily munched on her food. The sweet, soft surface of the bread and the crunchy fried meat were having a party with the fresh vegetables in her mouth. Moreover, the bread was all-you-can-eat!

A while back, the master taught her all about how to best enjoy fried food. Ever since trying it for herself, Ellen made it a point to do it any time the daily special ended up being something fried. Not once had the master’s advice steered her wrong.

Ellen’s husband and two children had also shifted to eating their food as a sandwich.

Herman covered his cutlet in sauce, while Kai sandwiched his ham cutlet with plenty of mayo. Meanwhile, Bona made her sandwich with just vegetables and cutlets with cheese. All four members of the family had their own unique way of eating ham cutlet sandwiches, in accord with their individual opinions of the most delicious way to enjoy ham cutlets.

“Whew! This sauce is dang great!” said Herman.

“It’s all about the meat! The cheesy ones are great, but nothing beats a big piece of meat!”

“Kai, Kai! I’ll give you my regular ones if you give me your cheesy ones!”

Yet they were all undoubtedly satisfied with their meals.

And so, the family continued eating away at their ham cutlets, ordering refills of bread and soup all the way until the sun had set.

“Whew!” the family sighed in unison, their bellies filled with good food and an overwhelming feeling of joy.

It was about time to head home. Ellen pulled out her wallet and called for someone from the restaurant. “’Scuse me! Check, please.”

“Aye, you got it. Hold on just a moment.” Instead of the young waitress from before, the master came out from the back himself. Apparently, she wasn’t terribly good with counting money.

“Then I’m countin’ on you.”

Ellen handed the master her wallet. If the man in front of her had been like the usual merchants who looked down on Ellen and Herman for being poor, she would never hand him her wallet for fear of being ripped off. But having known the master for years, she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt he would never do something like that. He had her absolute trust.

“No problemo!”

The master reached into the wallet and pulled out two silver coins and thirteen copper, the exact amount for the meal, before giving Ellen back her wallet.

“Thanks as always!” he said. “We’re looking forward to your next visit.”

“We’ll definitely be back. C’mon, everyone. Let’s get goin’.”

Ellen put her wallet, significantly lighter than before, back into her bag and led the other three out of the restaurant. The moment they stepped out of the door, they were back inside their barn.

“Today’s special was delicious, Dad.”

“You got that right.” Herman sighed. “I’m guessin’ the next time we’ll be able to go is next month… If only we had more money.”

“When I grow up, I’m gonna marry somebody so rich that I can go there every day!” said Bona.

“You big dummy! The restaurant only appears once every seven days!”

The family chatted among themselves over how delicious the food was as they returned to their home.

“All right, y’all. Get undressed before you get your clothes dirty.”

“’Kaaay!” her family answered.

The three quickly changed out of their fancier wear and back into their usual beat-up clothes.

“Right. I’m gonna go get some firewood. C’mon, you’re with me, Kai. The sooner we can dig up the money, the sooner we can go back to the restaurant.”

“Okay!”

“Bona, come help your mother with her mending.”

“’Kay, ’kay!”

After everyone finished changing, it was time to get back to work, all the while chattering about the delicious food they had just finished eating.

And so came the end of the Herman family’s special, once-a-month feast, marking their return to everyday life. This also came with renewed anticipation for the next time they’d get to go back to Nekoya.