Chapter 30: Roast Chicken

Chapter 30:
Roast Chicken

While Western Cuisine Nekoya occupied the first-floor basement of a building appropriately called the “Nekoya Building,” on its second floor was a bar.

That bar’s name was “Leonhart.”

Leonhart’s master originally worked for a trading company, traveling across Japan and even abroad. But some twenty years earlier, his body finally broke down on him, and he used the occasion as an opportunity to finally retire from the busy life and move from Tokyo back to his hometown. Against the wishes of his family, he started up a little business for himself, a place where adults could enjoy their evenings. The space was large enough to build a sizable restaurant, but the master instead dedicated about half of the floor space to storing its supply of booze. This meant that the actual bar itself was small enough so he could get around on his own. Leonhart had a single, beautiful counter. It was a small bar.

There were no young woman there to tend to the guests’ needs, nor was there karaoke for the more musically-inclined visitors. But what Leonhart did have was a wide array of alcohol from all over the world, from the cheap stuff to more expensive booze. The master had spent much of his youth traveling the world, which meant he’d accumulated vast knowledge of different kinds of liquors. Since he could be trusted with his prices and drinks, he had a fair number of regulars. So long as he didn’t make any stupid business decisions or live outside of his means, he was able to live a fairly satisfying life, once the house’s loan was paid off and the kids were all grown up and independent. That’s the type of bar Leonhart was.

There was one thing that separated Leonhart from other bars of its kind: it did deliveries, of a sort.

You see, if customers placed their order between opening time from 6 to 9 PM, they’d be able to get finger foods from the restaurant below to go with their booze. The best part was that these finger foods were more delicious than anything your average bar sold.

As far as Leonhart’s master was concerned, if you were after a killer meal, he recommended going to Nekoya. If you wanted delicious alcohol, there wasn’t a bar better than Leonhart. And so, the finger foods that were available for delivery were exactly that: dishes that didn’t require chopsticks or utensils to eat. Nonetheless, they were all incredibly delicious, went well with alcohol, and were made by a pro, of sorts. The combination of a wide variety of great spirits with delicious finger foods meant that Leonhart was highly regarded among bar-goers. Salarymen got to relieve their post-work stress by dropping by for a pint while enjoying their favorite snacks.

And so the master of Leonhart took a delivery order on a certain Saturday.

The freight elevator in the back of the alcohol storage area came to a stop with a metal clink. Upon hearing the noise, the master stepped away from his guests for a moment before heading to the back to collect the delivery order.

“Hiya. Oh? You’re delivering the goods today?”

Leonhart’s master was somewhat surprised to find Nekoya’s master stepping out from the elevator holding a tray.

The man knew about the secret of the restaurant on the first-floor basement. He knew about the Restaurant to Another World.

Over twenty years ago, just after the master ruined his liver and found out he couldn’t drink another drop of alcohol, he decided the least he could do was serve the good stuff to other folks. Thus he came upon the idea of opening up his own bar. He searched high and low around his hometown for attractive property options, but ultimately found himself attracted to the delivery service contract of the Nekoya Building and ended up renting out its second floor. It was then that the previous master of Nekoya informed him of the restaurant’s secret, leaving him rather surprised. It was just like one of the fantasy stories his son loved reading. He had wondered whether the master was just talking about some anime movie; how could he not? He had just been told that the ordinary restaurant right below him was a place where residents from another world, human and inhuman, visited on a weekly basis.

Yet at the end of the day, that was Nekoya’s business, not his. On occasion, he would sell the master alcohol to serve to his “otherworldly customers,” but otherwise, there was no real effect on Leonhart. After a while, the master grew used to the whole “other world” thing.

“I just figured it’d be the usual young lady is all. I’m guessing you wanna talk?”

Over the past few months, on Saturdays, a young blonde waitress wearing a bizarre hairpiece had been delivering the orders to Leonhart. She was clearly a new hire. As far as the master was concerned, she looked much like what he expected his first granddaughter would look like in five years or so. She was a real cutie. After her hiring, she became the one to collect the alcohol in her master’s stead.

Which meant that if the master was coming himself, he likely wanted to have a chat about the goods. Having known Nekoya’s current master since he was a teen, it didn’t take much for him to correctly guess his intentions.

“Exactly. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

The restaurant’s master handed him the tray full of food.

Bright green, freshly boiled edamame beans.

Thinly-cut fried potato chips flavored with salt and seaweed.

Homemade rum-raisin butter sandwiched between two salted biscuits.

Three different types of sandwiches: thick slices of ham and cheese, homemade tartar sauce made with a plenty of eggs, and tuna mixed with minced onions.

Recently, one of the regulars at Nekoya began requesting fried rice balls (extremely not western cuisine), so the master decided to offer them on the regular menu. The set included butter soy sauce, onion miso, and seaweed rice.

The various finger foods on the tray were all requests from the post-work regulars who arrived immediately after the bar opened. In fact, they were the most popular items among the finger foods Leonhart offered.

“Many thanks. Once I hand these out, we can get to talkin’.” Leonhart’s master went and placed the dishes in front of the customers who ordered them.

“I’m sorry for the wait. Here’s the delivery you ordered. Would you like seconds on anything?”

Upon setting down the food, the customers ordered drinks that paired well with the finger foods. Leonhart’s master quickly prepared their drinks and handed them out.

Leonhart wasn’t the type of bar that large groups of people frequented. Instead, regulars typically included visitors who came alone or in pairs, looking for a quiet place to enjoy a drink. It was a cozy bar.

“Please, take your time. I have some business to attend to, but I’ll be back momentarily.” The master informed the customers of his absence before returning to the alcohol storage area.

“So? What’re you looking for this time?” he asked Nekoya’s master, who was quietly waiting in front of the elevator.

“Let’s see… I’m looking for two one-liter bottles of sweet shochu, nothing too expensive. Today’s customers are really feeling it.” Nekoya’s master laid out his order.

“Shochu, eh? Lemme see what I got…” Leonhart’s master took a moment to think about his options before presenting the man with the drink that best seemed to suit his needs. “I have some cheap potato and wheat shochu that I got from Kyushu. Does that work for you? The alcohol content is a little high, but the aftertaste is quite refreshing.”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect. You’re a real lifesaver!”

Nekoya’s master wasn’t particularly knowledgeable about alcohol, since he didn’t drink himself, but he knew enough to understand that the man in front of him was a real pro. He could trust whatever drink Leonhart’s master chose for him.

“Then this is it.” Leonhart’s master quickly reached for the two bottles he had described and handed them to the other man.

“I’ll put it on your tab as usual. Just subtract it from my rent this month.”

“Of course. Thank you so much!” Nekoya’s master expressed his gratitude, two one-liter bottles in hand.

“By the way, if you don’t mind my asking, who are you serving that to?”

The large bottle of whiskey he had sold to Nekoya’s master was apparently ordered by two short, older gentlemen who wore large axes across their backs. He was rather curious as to who ordered these.

“Oh, well…they’re an ogre couple.” The master hesitated for a moment before explaining. They were a married couple with large bodies and horns who brought along with them a tiny, older man who at this point may as well have been a regular.

“O-ogres?” Leonhart’s master couldn’t help but stutter out the word as the other man chuckled and answered.

“Aye. Big ones with huge horns.”

***

On the Western Continent, close to a Mountain Nation road, was a small cabin built for travelers.

“I’m telling you, we should cook him the normal way!”

“No! We gotta boil him!”

Inside said cabin were two ogres, a married couple in fact, who had decided to make the building their home for the time being. Tatsuji and Otora argued over the ingredients in front of them, debating how to best prepare them.

“C’mon, now. This is the sort of thing that tastes best when you just eat it plain! Plus, I’m guessing it’s just a kid. We should skin it, salt it, and roast it over the fire. That’s it.”

The male ogre was several times larger than an average human. He had bright red skin and black hair, with two yellow horns poking out from beneath. Tatsuji wore clothes made from a tiger he had beaten to death himself. He was hoping to get to eating sooner rather than later.

“No way! Come on, look at the back of this thing’s legs. Furry, right? It probably has all sorts of scum. Sure, we could just roast it and it’d probably be fine, but it won’t taste any good unless we boil it first.”

Otora was at least three heads taller than the average woman, sporting disheveled black hair and a white face with two yellow horns stretching out from it. She was thinking of using the meat to make a soup or stew of some sort. That way they could still feel like they had much to eat, even though there wasn’t actually that much meat.

Neither ogre would budge on the issue. Each felt that their recommended way of preparing the meat would result in the more delicious of meals. It looked like the argument would continue for a time without a proper conclusion.

That is, until…

“My good ogre friends, do you have a moment?”

The “food” hanging from the thick ceiling beam spoke to the couple.

“What is it?” the two ogres answered their captive, temporarily distracted from their important debate.

“And just to be clear, the whole ‘I’m not tasty so you shouldn’t eat me!’ thing ain’t gonna work on us. I can cook you up into something delicious, no problem,” Otora boasted.

“Of course, of course. I absolutely understand.”

The unfortunate “food” that happened to be caught by the two ogres was in fact a halfling bard who went by the name Rat. He gulped loudly. Rat was currently in a bit of pickle, considering he was tied up with incredibly tough vines from the mountainside. Nonetheless, he took a moment to observe his surroundings, spotting firewood, some pots and kettles, clothes of all kind, swords, armor, and a small mountain of bones. After seeing what there was to see, he began carefully putting his words in order.

“I know I’m butting in, but it would appear to me that the two of you have quite the discerning palate. So I can’t help but ask: Have either of you ever experienced cooking from another world?”

If he could somehow get the ogres to go to the restaurant, he’d be saved. He flashed his brightest smile to hide the plan he was putting together.

“Another world?”

“What’re you talkin’ about?”

The two ogres seemed intrigued by their meal’s sudden suggestion and responded with curiosity.

“I’m talking about meals from another world entirely!” Rat said. “Let me explain. Once every seven days, today in fact, a restaurant that serves otherworldly meals appears in this very area. How’s the food, you ask? Simply unbelievable! They offer tastes and flavors truly not of this world.”

They were interested. Rat licked his lips and continued his explanation. There was a reason his silver tongue had kept him alive all these years. No matter how scary an ogre may be, all he had to do was get them to listen.

“Liar!”

“I ain’t heard of anything like that.”

“No, no, this is the pure truth! It’s just up the mountain. And like I mentioned earlier, it only appears once every seven days. Oh, the alcohol over there is exquisite as well. How unfortunate! I could show you the way, but it would appear I’m not long for this world…”

It was obvious the ogres didn’t yet believe him. Rat let out a deep sigh, still tied up in vines. He did everything within his power to not appear desperate, instead recalling his own memories of the food at the restaurant and using them to speak as truthfully as possible.

“Well, if you’re that confident about this place, I wouldn’t mind keeping you alive until you show us the way.”

“You better not be lying though. If you are, we’re gonna eat you alive, starting from those feet of yours.”

The ogres had sensed some truth to Rat’s words.

“Wonderful! How very wonderful! I’d be happy to show you the way then. Just…”

…untie me, is what Rat was about to say, right up until he was lifted up and placed on the shoulders of one of the ogres.

“You got it. Just tell us which way to go, and I’ll carry you.”

“We wouldn’t want you escaping on us is all. If you don’t wanna get eaten alive, you better show us the right way!”

“…Okay.”

Nothing in this world was ever that easy. Rat let out a sigh that was half-disappointed and half-hopeful.

And so, the ogres departed from the cabin, bare feet and all. They were nearly as fast as a beast, despite one of them carrying Rat on their shoulders. Sure, he only weighed about as much as a human child, but he was still extra weight. But they didn’t seem to care.

“Ah! Over there! Then take a right at that tree! Um, could you at least try not to shake me so much?! I almost bit my tongue!”

The harsh shaking up and down made for a ride that was all sorts of uncomfortable. Rat felt nauseated, but he did his best to lead them correctly. He was scared the ogres might not hear his directions properly, which could very well result in his immediate death.

After about an hour of running up the mountain, the unlikely trio finally arrived at their destination.

“This is it?”

“I didn’t think it really existed.”

The two ogres placed Rat down and stared at the structure in front of them in awe. He had led them to a black door with an illustration of a cat on it. This was the entrance to the Restaurant to Another World.

“Indeed it does. Sir, would you mind untying me? I’ll teach you all about this place, I promise.”

“I suppose that’s fair enough.”

Common sense dictated that there was no way there’d be a door like this out in the middle of nowhere. This alone was enough to prove that Rat wasn’t lying. The ogres nodded in response to the halfling’s request and untied the vines that bound him. Rat was once again a free man.

“Ooh, ow, ow.” Rat stroked the painful marks the vines had left behind and then looked up at the ogre couple.

“All right. Go ahead and open that door.”

“Why not you?”

Tatsuji seemed confused by Rat’s instructions. The halfling’s expression saddened a bit as he closed his eyes and explained his unfortunate situation to the bigger man.

“Well, you see, the door isn’t particularly fond of me, if you get what I’m saying.”

Rat reached for the door handle, but his hand simply passed right through it.

“It pains me to admit to it, but a long time ago, I tried to dine and dash. The second I left, the restaurant ‘rejected’ me. I can’t open the door on my own anymore.”

Rat spoke the truth. He had been regretting his actions ever since he made that critical mistake.

On that fateful day, he had entered the restaurant knowing full well he didn’t have the money to pay for anything. Yet Rat made an order anyway, eating his fill and leaving without saying a word. The price he paid for that sin was large. He later apologized to the master for his actions and was forgiven by the man, but unfortunately the mysterious door wasn’t very flexible when it came to its strange magic. Even now, Rat was incapable of opening the door on his own. That was why if he ever wanted to visit Nekoya, he had to use other customers in order to go. He had accompanied the swordsman from the Mountain Nation, the diviner from the Ocean Nation, the naive princess, and even these terrifying, man-eating ogres.

“So that’s why I need you to open the door, sir.”

“I guess I got no choice then.”

Convinced, Tatsuji placed his hand on the handle with no problem. The trio were met with the sounds of a bell ringing as the door opened up.

“Shall we, Otora? You’re comin’ too, pal.”

“Yup.”

“You got it.”

Tatsuji stepped through after calling out to the others, marking the moment when they became guests of the Restaurant to Another World.

Despite the time of day, the inside of the restaurant was bright. Tatsuji and Otora surveyed their surroundings and quickly caught wind of something.

“Wait a second!”

“You…”

“No, no,” Rat explained. “I swear it’s not on purpose!”

The ogres had immediately understood the situation and proceeded to glare at Rat, who calmly returned their gaze. As always, the restaurant was filled with regulars who were eating and drinking their fill.

There was a large, older swordsman who gave off the aura of a warrior stronger than any Tatsuji had ever encountered.

There was also a young elf man, thin sword at his waist, directing a fierce killing intent in the direction of Tatsuji.

Also present was a clearly dangerous demon warrior, a lion-headed man with all sorts of scars across his body. He had a massive sword by his side.

Tatsuji also spotted another talented swordsman. Judging by his equipment, he must’ve been from a well-off family. Next to him was a fox-faced diviner. Tatsuji sensed immense magical energies coming from the man.

And then there was a young woman with a golden seal, signifying her high rank as a priestess in the church of the Lord of Light. She was accompanied by another young priestess.

The sights didn’t stop there. At another table was a naga, her bottom half that of a giant red snake, eating a plate of some type of egg dish wrapped in meat. Elsewhere was a pair of vampires drinking wine as red as blood.

In the corner was an old, foreign diviner whose magical powers were so absurd that Tatsuji couldn’t even get a full grasp of them.

The restaurant was filled with not one, not two, but many warriors and mages of all kinds, beings Tatsuji might have been able to take on in a one-on-one situation, but certainly not as a group. They all seemed to be enjoying their respective meals while carefully watching the new ogres.

Tatsuji and Otora were feared as powerful ogres in their territory. They had easily defended themselves against all manner of hunting squads. The pair were fearsome creatures in their own right, and they could sense the strength of their enemies. If the people in this restaurant were to turn on them, not only was victory impossible, but escaping with their lives intact was as well. They would have to play nice while in the restaurant. Any trouble would mean the end for them.

Rat smiled. “You see, the food and booze here are both so good that you can’t find them anywhere else in the world! So the people who come here on the regular tend to be pretty amazing folks.”

For the time being, Rat had escaped with his life. He explained the general details of the restaurant to the ogres before calling over the golden-haired demon waitress, who was probably from the Eastern Continent.

“I know this is a wee bit forward of me, but allow me to make the order. Young lady, excuse me. Could I get your biggest bottle of shochu? Oh, and three glasses of water, please. As for food, let’s see… Six orders of roast chicken should do it. With gravy sauce, too. Oh, and can you bring out the alcohol first? For the roast chicken, we only need the meat, okay?”

“Y-yes, of course!”

Rat figured it’d be a bad idea to make the ogre couple any angrier than they already were, so he went ahead and ordered for them as if he were a regular himself. Meanwhile, the waitress looked up at the pair and responded loudly before heading to the kitchen to inform the master.

After watching the waitress retreat, Rat flashed a smile at the ogres. As a bard, he had thick skin that even their glares couldn’t pierce. “All right. C’mon, you two. Feel free to sit wherever you’d like.”

“Tch, you better watch your back later. Let’s go, Otora.”

“Aye.”

Tatsuji let out a sigh as he glared at the small man, who stood only as tall as his knees. He and Otora found a table to their liking and sat down. It was just the right height for them to rest their elbows on. Next to them was Rat, whose feet were nowhere close to touching the floor.

“So that stuff you ordered. Those be otherworldly foods and booze?”

“Indeed they are!” Rat responded to Otora’s question with a smile and a nod of his head. As far as his experience could tell him, they were the best items on the menu for his two new “friends.” He went on to explain.

“So the shochu stuff I ordered is alcohol from the other world. It’s strong like dwarf whiskey, but it also has a great flavor to it. Pour some of that into a glass with ice in it, and you got something truly delicious. Ah, perfect timing!” he said as Aletta reappeared.

“Um, here’s your order of shochu.”

The golden-haired waitress returned, carrying in her hands a large, transparent bottle of shochu. Rat could barely hide the excitement on his face. He quickly grabbed the bottle and glasses from the waitress. He then inserted the large pieces of ice she also brought into the glasses and began pouring the alcohol.

“Many thanks, young lady! Now then, grab a glass. It’s quite strong, so be careful.”

Rat figured he may as well warn them, just in case. He poured himself a bit of shochu as well.

“Psh. As if this much alcohol could do… Kerflah?!”

Tatsuji quickly downed his glass, only to raise his voice in shock moments later. He was used to drinking unrefined booze that you could get off traveling merchants; strong booze that would pass across the tongue smoothly but burn your throat and stomach.

“What a surprise! It’s thick, but it smells wonderful and tastes great.”

On the other hand, Otora took a single sip from her glass, letting the fluid roll around over her tongue.

It was in fact delicious. Despite being as strong as dwarf whiskey, it didn’t have the same strong flavor to it. If anything, it smelled and tasted slightly sweet as it slowly spread throughout her mouth.

“Damn, otherworldly booze is pretty great.”

Tatsuji nodded his head, pouring himself and Otora a fresh refill of the shochu. His wife was talented in the kitchen, more than capable of cooking up the lean beasts of the winter, or even the hard-muscled samurai who wandered the hillside. She was extremely good at preparing alcohol as well. But even Tatsuji had to admit that this was far beyond anything she had made.

There was a dwarf in the restaurant that was gulping down his own drink. After having had some himself, Tatsuji totally understood.

“Aye, sir. The food here is something else, but the booze is in a class all its own,” Rat remarked almost proudly.

Rat had known of this place for quite some time. As astute at reading people as he was, he could guarantee that of all the “guests” he brought here, not even one ever left dissatisfied.

“So what’s the deal with the grub? You ordered ‘roast chicken’ or something, right?”

Around the time the first bottle of shochu had been emptied out, Otora pointed her question toward Rat. Because the booze was so good, it’d be especially disappointing if the food didn’t compare.

“Aye, miss. It is basically roasted, fatty chicken breast and… Ah, it’s here!”

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Here are your orders of roast chicken.”

Just as Rat started to explain the dish to his companions, the master appeared with a large plate and a fresh bottle of shochu in hand. On top of the giant plate, primarily used for events, were six pieces of golden-brown, roasted chicken breast. Atop each piece was gravy made of meat juices for extra flavoring, as well as a dash of black pepper.

“Take your time and enjoy,” the master said, gently placing the plate down in the center of the table. He returned to the kitchen to continue cooking.

“So this is roast chicken, eh?” said Tatsuji.

Otora added, “It just looks like cooked chicken meat to me, but it does smell awfully good.”

Both husband and wife found themselves drawn in by the tantalizing aroma of the chicken breasts in front of them, their mouths beginning to water.

“C’mon, now. This stuff is best when eaten hot.” Rat made sure to procure his one piece of chicken breast as he urged his companions to begin eating as well.

The two ogres each grabbed a piece for themselves and bit into their pieces simultaneously.

“Whooooaaaa!” their voices rang out in tandem.

They couldn’t help but shout as their taste buds were attacked by an indescribable flavor. There was no way this chicken meat had simply been cooked over fire. It was too amazing for that. This had to be some sort of magic trick. There was just the right balance of fat, and the skin satisfyingly crumbled away with each bite, revealing its amazing smell. Because it’d been roasted seemingly perfectly, the hot meat juices were preserved as well. It was tender and tremendously delicious. Literally on top of all that was the extra gravy for flavoring that utilized the meat juices themselves. The black pepper added a bit of a kick to the whole equation.

“Well? Sublime, right?” asked Rat.

The pair of ogres couldn’t help but nod their heads in response. Neither had ever eaten meat as delicious as this, certainly not prepared in this way.

“Next up is this!”

Rat took a bite of chicken and immediately poured himself some of the new shochu the master had brought over, taking a swig from the glass.

“Aaaah, this is the best!”

He wiped his mouth, a massive smile on his face. The savory flavors of the chicken were washed away by the sip of strong alcohol. As far as Rat was concerned, this was one of the absolute best combinations of flavors available to those who frequented the Restaurant to Another World.

“What the… What is this?!”

“It’s gosh dang delicious is what it is!” Rat answered. “Hey, we need more meat and booze over here! Bring us some more!”

The ogre couple decided to try out Rat’s particular way of eating, leading them to immediately begin howling in ecstasy. They loved meat and booze to begin with, so it was inevitable that they’d be floored when faced with such wonderful versions of both of their favorite things.

“Come now! Eat up as much as you want. Everything’s on me today, mates! Ah, for the next orders of roast chicken, could we get some teriyaki and curry flavored ones, too? You know, the super sweet and sour ones? You always gotta go with the gravy flavored chicken first, you know? Oh, and for sides…”

As Rat watched his two companions dig in, he quickly ordered the next round of dishes. And so the two ogres continued to eat and eat, never growing tired of the brand new tastes they were experiencing one after the other, drowning themselves in strong alcohol.

***

By the time they came to, it was already the middle of the day.

“Uuugh.”

Tatsuji slowly blinked awake. As far as he was aware, he was right where the door from yesterday was.

“My head be killing me.”

A direct result of drinking way too much the night before. That shochu stuff was strong. Maybe too strong. Compared to Otora’s booze, the only alcohol Tatsuji was familiar with, it was tremendously easy to drink. It certainly didn’t help that the halfling kept pushing them to drink more. There hadn’t been much of a stopping point. The two ogres had gone through several bottles before collapsing, completely drunk.

“Heeey, wake up.” Tatsuji shook the cobwebs out of his head while trying to wake his partner.

“Uuugh, I feel sick.” Otora had clearly been just as done in as he had. She was moving quite slowly.

“Looks like that little guy ran off.”

Rat was nowhere to be found. No matter how much they looked for the small man at this point, it’d probably be impossible to find him again. They weren’t even sure where he ran off to.

“Well, whatever,” Tatsuji whispered to himself.

His memories of the previous day were fuzzy, but there were things he specifically remembered. That black door only appeared once every seven days. While the restaurant was full of all sorts of dangerous types, fighting was off limits, lest they be banned from entering the place forever. He also remembered that the master of the joint accepted human currency, so if you could pay, it didn’t matter if you were an ogre or a monster. You would be served food and drink…and that food and drink would be positively delicious.

“Six days till the next time, eh?”

“Ayup.”

While his brain was still adrift, Tatsuji sighed. They had to go again. It wasn’t as if they had any other uses for the money they’d accumulated over the years.

The ogre couple cradled their pained heads as they returned home, determined to make their way back to the Restaurant to Another World.